waste.distance is the worst thing everwaste.10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
and i think
'if these people were closer, everything would
just be so much better'
but then i stop
and remember all the people in my town
who i barely see
and the thought
to the same place
he's my bottom
my rock bottom
001 i am a whirlwind of00111 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
an aching heart
a regret that could
awake from my dream state.it was a leap of faithawake from my dream state.11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
but i wish someone had pushed me
so i had someone to blame
11.the internal oceans are more threatening11.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
it makes them cold
and leaves her shaking
right to her core
its okay in summer
but the icy blues
and stark whites
leave her shaken
and scared you'll
slip back inside
trying to warm
but really only intending
072i ached enough that day07211 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
to salt the atlantic ocean
three time over
i would say my father is a wari would say my father is a war horse but that is a failed symboli would say my father is a war10 months ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
because he has been dragged through the dirt as many times as this metaphor
i want to write in abstract like in a book of
contemporary poetry i bought over the summer;
it was all syllables and lines of 'talk talk talk' repeated over and over
i want to write something that describes how i feel without saying a word that describes it -
dust and ache and tired and bone and overflowing and lonely and fuck and .
i want to write poems that have meaning without being cliche i want poems
that defy grammar and space and time because when someone reads them, they become me
i want someone to read this and know
it is approximately 12:04am
and my ears are itchy and my eyes -
my eyes -
i feel a deer prancing behind my eyes, his heavy antlers pushing
against my forehead and i should name him athena because i've got an olympic-sized headache
but instead the deer yells WANNA GO?
and he says it like an angry, unde
32you were gone before it even sank in that you were really there.3211 months ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
habit is the worst thing, cause it made me so blind to the fact that you could
just as easily be snatched away from me.
i should have hugged you at least four more times
i've spent the better half of a year being your definition of evil and insane
at the same time. i've known better than everything i've done, but done it
anyway. god knows i've repeated the same tedious/dangerous/stupid
actions over and over wanting/expecting different results.
you wouldn't be proud of me for anything anymore.
but i'm still mad at you, i'm sure of it. if you waded through the
rising tides, or peeled away my blue like old house paint, you'd find something
that screams how you broke everything inside me. and how you were one single event
that taught me that just cause something ends, that doesn't mean its over.
and that i will waste every single change given to me.
the only thing you ever told me that i listened to, was to rest occasionally.
039i will write about you until i run out of03911 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
words in my blood
or breath in my lungs.
whichever comes first.
starsi pray that someday soon, in a lonesome winter, your bones will cease to ache.stars11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
regrets will no longer break your morals like glass figurines,
you will not ask God to pardon your sins.
you will forgive yourself.
i hope, for your sake, that your butterfly-flutter eyes
will only be dampened with tears worthy of shedding.
your glory will shine out of those 2 crystal windows
and you will finally know what freedom feels like.
one day, in the midst of a dreary december, i wish for your wings to open wide
and carry you to heights far past any you have ever experienced.
your lungs will become blooming forests
with snippets of poetry carved into the tree trunks.
you will no longer be broken, but instead, crack into miniscule pieces
of yourself until all of the grace & goodness
buried deep within the crevices of your flesh
is soaked up by the atmosphere.
i am awaiting the day that i can finally lay next to someone i call lover
and point up at the stars to show him
fragments of you scatte
dissipationdissipation11 months ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
sometimes she wanted to tear the skin off her arms and dip the bared bones under water
and see if they still swelled and grew into logs rather than the twigs she craved.
it was as if there were little sandbags under the surface and they were delicately lined
and the water would sink inside them and grow and bulge and drag her under
(sometimes she does, sometimes she considers herself the bird in the bush:
dewy feathers doing nothing but chilling her to the bone; and she floats, head hung,
waiting for the currents to make her less than the nothing she considers herself to be)
but the weight is invisible, and despite its insistence
and the grey she feels all over, her feet won’t reach the bottom;
her toes are the only thing losing feeling--
she painted them red. cherry red like summer’s lovechild even though winter
had already found its home beneath her bed; red and quiet and refined like
the paper women she’d seen in magazines. she wore spring blouses with flowe
calamity.the poor boy got a lecture from deaths secretarycalamity.11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
"deaths busy enough as it is without walk ins"
"but it was urgent," he stutters.
"it couldn't wait, it was now or never"
he was simply told
"take a number, and wait over there with the rest
who 'couldn't wait' "
nervous ticki. i curse you some nights, kicking the soil around your grave and daring younervous tick1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
double fucking daring you to be alive somehow
ii. i heard you at my grave. my god your face has lengthened, your jaw was so slack and wide and i nearly lost it
lost it like you clearly already have.
i want to tell you i do. i'm alive, in most ways at least
iii. your mail still rattles my door of a morning hiding in with mine like it can sneak past me
past my dulled senses and weakened barrier.
everything is numb.
vi. a shadow. thats all that i am now, friend.
i have tried dialing numbers or scrawling words but they don't come.
imagine that, me, out of words.
i am not myself anymore
v. solitude will be the death of me.
i'd swear to god, but you've ruined that too
you logical bastard.
drift.it was darkdrift.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
and i was struggling
with an angry ocean
you stumble home
sink beneath the cotton blues
and stop the waves
quite so much
alright, its okay i guess.she said she wanted to find someone who would be able to read the semi-tonesalright, its okay i guess.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
and breaks inbetween her breathes when she is holding back that sadness that leaves bottom
lips quivering and the oceans of eyes suddenly grows and swells and flows freely down faces.
she wanted to find someone who could read these tones, and find the ache like a map
and poke it with the right tenderness and break it apart and let it disperse to other parts where
they can sit and not weigh so much.
someone who could take the music out of her ears, and know what each song a band means
her heart was feeling. that what sarah said mean she's falling apart but not really sure about
whether she has the energy too. or that bright eyes means she's just a big pile of uselessness
and that her insides are far too heavy for her to sit up straight right now.
and watercolouring is bad.
003its easier to say00311 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
"i'm fine, just tired"
than explain the water rising
when really they just asked out of politeness
and don't -actually- care.
by association.don't shoot the messengerby association.11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
she told herself
but her aim was unsteady
and the wind blew her off target
they were all rotten anyway.
landlocked.i think she's decided that its winters fault she is still grounded in thislandlocked.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
dead end city.
the cold snap has rendered her wings
covered by layers of survival
but she just see's them as useless
and keeping her stuck
when she'd rather be anywhere else
pressure.she was cracked in places only she could feel, and where the blood could only be tasted, and not seen.pressure.11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
her lips, fingertips and inside her chest. she learned that there are certain body parts prone to being cut or bruised, and her white laced knees could attest to that. but there comes a time when cutting your leg on the coffee table or pinching your stomach with your belt buckle, isn't an accident anymore. its something more, and you know it is. but you can go so long without ever admitting it to yourself, and even longer for anyone else.
starvetoday, i don't hate myself enoughstarve10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
to deny the hungers for -
a cup of coffee that will treat me like sin dancing to the pulse of my bloodstream
the absence of guilt
cracks in personality
screaming poems silently at my reflection
today, i will gorge
on the things i vowed to give up.
today, i will break vows.
today, i am a glutton
for relapse and binge cycles,
for starvation and changing reflections.
tomorrow, i will wish
i could be the skeleton that
hangs in my closet.
[ leave the tears where they lie,
take the fallen stars and ripped up wings,
do not regret spinning circles
around vices. ]
unlovenot all self harm comesunlove1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
in the obvious form of lines up arms or down thighs
of throwing up insides and self worth
into toilet bowls with the sounds
that make you wonder how you're not dead.
she picked at her lips constantly
cracking and splitting
peeling and bleeding
more than expected
and it bled
more than ever anticipated
even after she's been doing it all day
she drank her tea that was still steaming
still made her hands flinch from the
far too hot porceline
but she parted lips
and felt it force it way down
burning and splitting
her lips and throat
like molten in her
ash filled stomach
pulling on skin
making underneath it
her blood like water colour
exploding and spreading
and mixing over
thighs and stomachs
no-one thinks to notice