Hell Doesn't Even KnowI want to cry so much...
Maybe I'm happy,
Maybe I'm sad.
I feel so alone,
Yet I've been with people all day.
I feel so unloved,
Yet I know I have people who love me.
I can't talk about these feelings.
I can't open up when the door is locked.
And the key is lost.
I want to inspire,
But I just recieve empathy.
I want to die,
But I keep on breathing.
I feel so confused, lost and all alone.
The feelings inside me are too strong for my body.
I don't want someone to understand.
I want someone to give me the answers to why I am like this.
And a solution to fix the massacre inside me...
The Land We Live OnI know of a land where young ones are corrupt,The Land We Live On3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Where the butterflies attempt to fly with broken wings,
But die in the process.
An outcast is just a ghoul in hiding.
Every loving word slurred never meant a thing.
The scars are always visible.
In this land it is always below zero.
Each day everyone knows that tomorrow will be the same,
Here lies no hope.
The soil covering the surface is poisoned.
Sometimes tongues are chopped off.
Slowly they all lose their mind.
The eldest ones are locked away to be hidden in the dark.
So many broken hearts, they cannot even be counted.
Memories are shunned with pills,
And obscure buildings that cause blood sh
I don't know who I am anymore.I don't know who I am anymore.I don't know who I am anymore.4 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
A person who wants to kill herself.
But wants to cry and then wants to laugh.
Who makes a joke about cutting.
But then gets triggered by the word cut.
Who over analysises ever thing.
Who dreams pathetic dreams.
Who hasn't got the courage to do anything.
Who disobeys her plan not to talk about her feelings.
Who gets so jealous if others have it worse off.
That's why she complains.
But she shouldn't. Complaining stops her being the worst off.
She planned to give up on love.
But couldn't even do that.
Who can control her anger.
But doesn't want to because it pains her soul.
She planned to commit suicide.
The Layers of SkinShe laughs out loud.The Layers of Skin4 months ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Talking to herself.
She doesn't care though.
This girl is surrounded with her friends.
Happy with her life.
She can't cope with the stress.
Stress of work.
Stress of life.
Then the feeling that all of these other feelings simmer to eventually.
She wants to scream.
She wants to shout.
She wants to let it all out.
But her anger she must bury.
Otherwise a rampage of spilling out swear words and other vile.
Out of control, reckless and stupid.
Not thinking of consequences.
So look emotionles
Freaks ShowFingers scratching at my wrist,Freaks Show4 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Wanting a beautiful kiss.
The lips they know too well,
Gradually I feel my mind compelling,
Back to almost a month ago,
When I was still apart of the freak show.
Dancing on the stage,
With a pointy blade,
Focused on a luscious vein.
The oh's and ah's of the crowd causes pain,
I finally notice how different I really am.
I finally notice there is nothing I can,
Do to pick up the glass without getting cut.
I finally noticed that all I am is a nut.
I finally noticed that deep down I'm in the freak show for life,
I can no longer hide and fight,
The true me when it's thriving to come out.
In this moment I do doubt,
I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.4 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Mainly for confiding in her.
Everyone says to talk.
But I use it to be mean.
I feel like I have to be depressed all the time.
When actually I'll do better if they don't know.
I feel sick.
So sick because I hate myself so much.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know what plan I'm following in my head...
It's best I go to bed...
Coming Apart at the SeamsAgain my arms have paid the price,Coming Apart at the Seams3 months ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
For the pathetic thing,
I call my life.
Cuts up and down,
Decorating my arm,
Keeping me safe,
From emotional harm.
Guarding my soul,
All through the night.
Showing that there is darkness,
Even in light.
So no matter how much I try,
To just go past,
The scars on my arms will always last.
They'll line up,
With the ones in my heart,
Until the day,
I finally fall apart.
Sinking aloneGasping for every breathe I take,Sinking alone4 months ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Dreading all the mistakes I'll make,
I hope I do everything right
I don't want to lose this fight.
Each bad choice takes me away,
And every time I fade away.
I lose myself in this mess,
And sometimes I could care less.
Life goes on, I watch it go,
Some things I can't change, I know.
I try to hold on to every chance I get,
But I can't do it all, my time is set.
I must give up some things I would like
To look at things to live my life right
I don't care if you like what I choose,
Because in the end, I've got nothing to lose.
StormyBreaking down,Stormy5 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Slam my fist against the wall
When I can't take it anymore
Will the sun shine on me again?
Wind blow, rain fall
I face it all, there is still hope
Soon enough it will pass
Boom, crash all night
I fight with myself
Just dark skies out
Every kind of silence
It is killing me
It took me long to realize that I am still here
Hide, run but can't leave
Losing my grip on life
Only a miracle can help me now
It's Christmas Eve and I am all alone
All I wanted for Christmas was something you couldn't wrap
Something that truly came from the heart
No ordinary gift can help
It needed to be special
Special enough to make my tr
TogetherWhen I'm with you it looks likeTogether3 months ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
things are getting better.
But when I look outside
black clouds are raining fire.
When I look in your eyes
this world just slips away.
And all the nights' wars and famines
can't touch me in my Utopian day.
Hold me in your warm embrace,
I've found a place to hide.
Let's just be our own world,
and never look outside.
Let us be together
when it seems that we will die.
Let's hold each others' hands
while the clouds are raining fire.
We Are/You Aren'tWe are the unwanted, the brokenWe Are/You Aren't4 months ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
The ones you forgot about.
So don't be too surprised when we
Start to scream and shout.
We are the living, the dying
The ones you all put down.
But you'll know who we are when we
Run this goddamn town.
We are the corpses, the maggots
The ones you all despise.
But you'll be the ones scared when we
Expose all your lies.
We are the hunted, the lost
The ones you all spurn.
But you'll cry for our help when we
Leave you all to burn.
We are the losers, the winners
The ones that you deny.
But you'll be the ones damned when we
Hear the angels cry.
I'm Still LaughingIt really is quite funny.I'm Still Laughing3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
How one second I'm in tears,
over how I don't know whether to live or die.
Then I'm making cruel cruel jokes about when I'm going to commit suicide.
I am true bitch.
An total shit.
I had a nap.
And woke up in the shittest mood.
Made me spill shit.
Then depressed and angry and pissed at myself.
Then fucking alone. Because I depend on my friends and have to talk 24/7 with them.
I have wanted to die for the past, what 4 months.
Full on poof, ding, pop, boom, gone.
But it's only resently I reaslised I'm too much of a parnoid piece of crap to kill myself.
No I'd have to go out and do everything under
Please Kindly Leave My Brain"LEAVE ME ALONE!"Please Kindly Leave My Brain3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
That's what I want to say.
I don't mean it.
I need you.
That's what I say.
I don't mean it.
I'm dying from the inside out.
Feel like shit... again...
"I'm just not hungry,"
Which is true. But with a deeper meaning...
I'll starve my body into death.
"I'm sure I'll live,"
Please don't say that.
What if your not sure?
You die. I die.
That's the situation.
How can I be happy, If I know you're not?
I need you're hugs too much...
made me this wayFor too longmade me this way4 months ago in Personal More Like This
You lied to me
For too long
You made me
Im walking away
When you ask others
Ask about how
I have changed
It was you
Who made me this way
My Week...I...My Week...3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I don't know where to start.
I've been feeling very alone.
I've been feeling physically ill.
Head rushes, stomach aches, headaches...
Maybe my body is finally giving up.
I've had such bad urges and wants to self harm.
And that constant feeling of wanting to die,
It never goes away.
I just get distracted...
I've been paranoid and anxious,
after being in the house for two days.
Scrubbing my hands and freaking out about complete strangers.
I haven't been sickened by my day or feelings.
I've been cold and in need of energy.
Food has comforted me in the final days of the week.
I haven't seen a single friend.
Nor had a good conversat
Awesome HugToday I needed a hug.Awesome Hug4 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
But had no one there.
I needed a hug so much,
There wouldn't have been a hug spare.
I'll still need a hug.
Because I've told you all that's caused me pain.
An hour long hug.
Because I need to store it in my memory, incase I need a hug again.
Even though you haven't replied.
Normally I'd wonder.
But I don't mind tonight.
As I was about to lie.
But you caught me before I could.
How could I lie to you?
I knew you'd make this harder than it should.
Words.../////////////Warning/////////// TriggersWords...2 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have no words to say.
I haven't got the will to.
I haven't got the will to say the words.
I haven't got a clue what to do........
Starving myself to death is a long way...
But thoughts of death run down the drain with the blood from my cuts.
The pain has washed over my days for weeks. Months. Years.
It never goes.
I have no way to help myself.
Nor can I save those around me.
As I try to stop someone from touching the flame. I burn myself.
We both burn ourselves.
Should we just estinguish life?
Is that what we should be doing?
I don't understand as messed up as they are how can
Why Do You Do This?Why do you do all of thisWhy Do You Do This?4 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
You stain your wrists
You cry all the damn time
You slip when you try to climb
You're in all this pain
Putting that blade to a vein
You dig it in, but not too deep
For now, that price is too steep
But will the day eventually come
A day when you are so very numb
That the price isn't too high
And you give up the will to try
God forbid that day should arrive
I want you to be happy and alive
Yet I freak out when you aren't there
Don't make me feel loss and despair
Like BreathingYour Kiss..Like Breathing2 months ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
One is just not enough
For it puts me in a rare bliss
Going without it, is just so rough
For every time I see you
I just want to kiss you, its just so hard to resist
Because its all I want to do
For that one time we had kissed...
Was like a drug, so addicting
But also like breathing so natural
Why is it so contradicting
I just hope these feelings are mutual
For all I want now is your kiss
Butterfly ScreamsIt's fun,Butterfly Screams3 months ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Watching me bleed?
Ignoring my needs?
Destroying who I am,
And all I'll ever be.
But you wouldn't stop,
That I can see.
The butterflies in my stomach,
Scream as the hurtful words
Pin them to corkboard.
I'll cut myself,
I'm gonna lay down,
And hear the butterflies scream.
"Don't even worry."
"I'm perfectly fine."
Words are sandpaper,
And a couple of lies.
So while I'm here,
Down on the floor;
Do your worst,
Your worst and more.
So I'll lay down,
Even when I'm gone,
The butterflies will still scream.
AnxietiesHands over ears, screams hide the tearsAnxieties4 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Like monsters, they stand around, eerie and cruel
Grotesque and uncontrolled
They drive me to the point of collapse
So I do.
I’m the ground
I shake and tremble and tear everything down
I am the ground
I don’t understand how anyone stays around me
When I’m like this
I’m like a stone
Rolling out of control
Loud and predictable, we all know where I’m going
Down, as sure as water, I will fall
And as a boulder, I will tear down everything in my path
When one door closes...I’ve heard the sayingWhen one door closes...3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
When one door closes, another opens,
I felt the disconnect and the lock clicked shut
It closed for just a moment
Then opened so hard
That it spun me
I went down in a haze of mixed emotions,
Not over my loss but feeling for you,
My wants mangling each other,
Eating each other alive,
Until there was nothing left
When the tears stopped
and you were there, waiting
I ran toward you
Wanting change, wanting freedom
Embracing an uncertain future
Your eyes were like the ocean
A swirling punch bowl of blue and white,
So inviting in their dance
So severe was the pull of your undertow
That I dove right in
In The Darkness...In the DarknessIn The Darkness...3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I can see You...
As if You were beside me
and had never let me go...
Even when I close my eyes
at night, You are there...
But I know you are holding and
being held by someone else now...
And it kills me,
every single time...
The heart wrenching tears that I cry,
should at least blur my vision of You...
To deter or hide away,
Your haunting beauty...
But they do not and
I carry on suffering...
I cover my shuttered eye lids
with the palms of my hands...
As if to deny,
all possible light...
I grind the heals into them,
but I start seeing bright stars...
And alas, You're still here
torturing me sadistically...
SanctuarySanctuary, this place that I find in only one place.Sanctuary8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Yet the torment of the world still reaches me there
Their words do not matter.
But the way they watch drives me crazy
This Sanctuary I find alone
Brings peace to my soul
As it rips and tears through my flesh.
Oh Beautiful Sanctuary.