I'm So TiredI'm so tired of crying,
I'm so tired of loving,
I'm so tired of dying
inside my soul each day.
I'm so tired of hoping,
I'm so tired of dreaming,
I'm so tired of imagining.
It will never be real anyway.
I'm so tired of falling,
I'm so tired of failing,
I'm so tired of walking
when love is so far away.
I'm so tired of wishing,
I'm so tired of searching,
I'm so tired of remembering
those beautiful things you used to say.
I'm so tired of bleeding,
I'm so tired of yearning,
I'm so tired of living
in a world that's grey.
But most of all I'm tired,
of being the person I am,
I'm tired of my mistakes,
I'm tired of my broken heart.
I'm just so tired of being me.
I'm Fine"Are you okay?"I'm Fine2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That's all they say.
And I leave behind
These words in my mind.
I'm broken, I'm dying.
Inside, I'm crying.
There are wounds beneath my skin.
There are trials I face within.
There are things I just can't say.
There are people I must betray.
Beneath a smile, I feel pain.
Behind the sun, there's always a little rain.
And beneath these words I hold in my head...
There's always the thing I say instead.
I leave the truth behind..
So when they say, "are you okay?"
I always say, "I'm fine."
Just Words"I'm fine" is a dirty lie.Just Words2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The truth is that I want to die.
"I'm tired" is not even done.
It really means "I'm tired of being no one"
"I'm better" is but a curse.
The truth is that I've never been worse
"I'm just cold" is what I say
so my sleeves can hide my scars away.
"I already ate" is said with a frown.
I starve to see the numbers on the scale go down.
"I'm okay" is probably the worst.
It really means I'm about to burst.
All these things are lies to me.
But you take this as the truth because what else would I be?
WhisperI want to create an aromatic sea of jasminesWhisper2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and stardust mountains of silver and —
Inkblot skeletons with paper mache
hearts, whose bones shall burn with one glance at the
sun; gravestones of blood diamonds and tears of thistles...
Harp strings ringing in grotesque harmony, screaming
for slender fingers to pluck and caress with devotion.
I want to write
Because I Forget Some broken heartsBecause I Forget2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Will love again,
Some fractured minds
Watch sun-rise, and mend,
Some happy dreams
Are cherished by friends,
Because you have love,
You will triumph again
Some broken hearts
I Have WalkedI have walked through hell.I Have Walked2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I have pushed through its fires.
I have walked over needles and daggers with flaming arrows being fired.
I have walked through blizzards.
I have walked through freezing rain.
I have walked across thin ice and seen the cracks as it gives way.
I have walked over mountains.
I have felt their sharp edges.
I have stumbled over loose rocks and clung to the ledges.
I have walked the smooth paved roads,
And slipped on the smaller gravel paths too.
And felt the thorns tug at me as I pressed through the world to make a new.
But I have danced through meadows.
I have felt the soft grass underfoot.
The tingling of the summer sun and frolicked through brooks.
I have walked in light flurries.
Watched my footprints imprint in the gentle snow.
And I knew I’d left my mark behind, that my presence might affect someone not even known.
And I have marched into the deep oceans
I have walked through the swirling seas.
Only to emerge once again, complete and having faced a cha
Fuck Society"You can't be pretty,Fuck Society2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Without being skinny."
That's what they say,
So I start dieting,
And starving myself,
To follow their way.
"You have a disorder,
If you look too skinny."
So that's what I do,
I start to gain,
But it doesn't feel the same,
How much do I even weigh?
"You need to cover up,
If you still don't wear make-up."
I start to wear make-up,
But I don't feel pretty,
I feel like I'm suffocating,
My mom takes pity.
"Don't cover up too much,
You'll look like a slut."
I stop wearing make-up,
They want everything,
Instead of messing people up,
Why can't they chose something.
"Don't you dare cry,
Hold it in with a sigh."
I dry my tears,
I can't show my fears,
But I'm scared,
What if no one cares?
"But you can let emotions show,
So people can love you more."
My insides start to hurt,
My heart is about to burst,
I'm so confused,
What do I do?
"You want to be perfect?
We'll show you how to work it."
They messed with my head,
Causing me to hate and be hated,
For me, it's too l
I KnowI know what you really think of meI Know2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I know you want me gone
I know whenever my mouth opens you cringe
I know you think I’m stupid
I know you wish I would die
I know people hate me
I know I’m really stupid
I know I don’t get you
I know you don’t get me
I know you wish we really never met
And I’m sorry...
Tired, Exhausted, DrainedTired, Exhausted, Drained:Tired, Exhausted, Drained2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I am bloody exhausted! Drained to the core of my soul.
I wake up every morning with bags; burning ever deeper into my eyes.
Sunken masses of flesh, reminding me that the dreamscape -
One in which I sought refuge; is now buried where it lies.
Yet still I force myself to trudge through this wilderness.
Forever caught in a moon drenched, delusory twilight.
An endless cycle of failure and renewed hope;
Giving rise to the very stubbornness that defines me.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 5th February 2013
I Am NotI am not Ugly; you're just holding the mirror wrong.I Am Not2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I am not Blind; I just love to listen.
I am not Retarded; I just learn differently than you.
I am not ADHD; the world just fascinates me.
I am not Depressed; this is how I smile
I am not Fat; I'm just as big as my heart.
I am not Bisexual; I want to share my love with all.
I am not Cross-eyed; One eye sees beauty in this universe,
the other looks towards my future.
Before you think you may have the answer, on who I'm supposed to be,
I am not Special; I'm just being me.
What You WantMaybe you want them to noticeWhat You Want2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Maybe you want them to see
Maybe you want them to care about
How you’re lost and lonely me.
Maybe you want them to ask
Maybe you want them to know
Maybe you want them to care about
How your happiness is a show.
Maybe you want them to quiet
Maybe you want them to listen
Maybe you want them to care about
How your blood does glisten.
Maybe you want them to leave you
Maybe you want them to die
Maybe you want them to care about
How your life’s just a lie.
R.I.P WordsDo you know what it feels like?R.I.P Words2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
To feel something, but...
be unable to express what it is;
to be silent;
to fight it alone.
I know how much it hurts,
but I don't know how to show it.
Poetry used to be my refuge,
a place where I could be alone -
express all my emotions,
without being judged.
I'm losing it.
I can't connect to poetry.
Everything sounds so stupid...
Everything I write sounds stupid.
I have to erase all my feelings,
because they don't sound right.
The words aren't real.
They don't show what I feel
And maybe this will be the last.
Maybe I'm gone:
lost of all emotions.
I'm truly alone...
I used to have poetry.
Now I have nothing.
I don't know who I am anymore.I don't know who I am anymore.I don't know who I am anymore.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A person who wants to kill herself.
But wants to cry and then wants to laugh.
Who makes a joke about cutting.
But then gets triggered by the word cut.
Who over analysises ever thing.
Who dreams pathetic dreams.
Who hasn't got the courage to do anything.
Who disobeys her plan not to talk about her feelings.
Who gets so jealous if others have it worse off.
That's why she complains.
But she shouldn't. Complaining stops her being the worst off.
She planned to give up on love.
But couldn't even do that.
Who can control her anger.
But doesn't want to because it pains her soul.
She planned to commit suicide.
But she probably won't have the guts.
Who freaks out, reseaching about bipolar.
Who doesn't care about anyone.
And if she does she's helpless and worried and scared.
Who wished to be reckless and stupid in ways to get way.
But everything she does just makes it harder eacher day.
Dancing On the CloudsDancing on the cloudsDancing On the Clouds2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I’ve always yearned to try
Leave my world behind
Seek sanctuary in the sky
To be one with the birds,
Forever free to roam
To move like the wind,
Have but the heavens for my home
To embrace the moon,
Oh, what I wouldn’t give
Amid the flaming stars,
That is where I long to live
How can you catch a cloud?
In spite of your beseech,
The dreams you dream the most
Are the ones farthest from your reach
What You KnowSometimes the disinfectant hurts more than the infection,What You Know2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Sometimes the pain is better than the protection.
Sometimes the tears sting more than the smile,
Sometimes the yard tires more than the mile.
Sometimes the blood shines brighter than the blade,
Sometimes the heart is blacker than the spade.
Sometimes the kiss is sharper than the slap,
Sometimes the lure is worth the trap.
Sometimes the night is lighter than the day,
Sometimes the beast is weaker than the prey.
Sometimes the cut hurts less than the sob,
Sometimes the break is harder than the job.
Sometimes the lie is prettier than the truth,
Sometimes the alibi is better than the proof.
Sometimes the hate is kinder than the love,
Sometimes the buzzard is holier than the dove.
Sometimes the loser gains more than the winner,
Sometimes the saint is worse than the sinner.
Sometimes the girl is stronger than the boy,
Sometimes the child is more broken than the toy.
Sometimes the poison is sweeter than the cure,
Sometimes the dirty are
you call me an angelyou call me an angelyou call me an angel2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in spite of the bruises left on the fronts of my knees
stains of sin left on my skin;
the knots in my back,
you liken to the wings soon to burst from my shoulders
&tell me you can feel no sadness
when looking at my face-
eyes you analyse
into paints of the colour wheel,
several shades i have yet to see;
despite its crooked nature
thinning enamel from my sickness-
you still find me amongst the heavens.
as this once,
i kissed you to shut you up.
my skin is removing itself after my clothes
in the winter,
too unlike the white night of russian summers.
i kissed you &it was wet because i was crying
&every time our lips parted
another sob stuttered its way through the gap.
you heard what words i couldn't swallow,
the ones straining to pass over my tongue
yet drowned upon existence.
you listen to me until i lose my headstrong aim
to starve back to bones,
to see the angel wings i've lost in my skin
you touch &feel are there;
UselessI'm a cutterUseless2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That's all I'll ever be
Once you've learnt that
Defining fact about me.
You'll call me mad
Assume that I'm sad
And that I want
You'll check my arms
Only matters if you can see
But I can hide them
All over me.
You'll think I'm sick
Sick in the head
And that makes me feel
Like I want to be dead.
I don't do it
I don't do it
For a mention
I don't do it
I do it because of
That it's cast over me.
Alone in this world.Are you okay?Alone in this world.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Yes, I am.
Are you afraid?
Yes, I am.
Will you ever be afraid of nothing?
Will you ever be completely happy?
Someday all your feelings will stop roughing
All of them are becoming scrappy.
Being okay is not what it seems
"okay" is a word of sloth
it may be a word of dreams
but mostly it's a word of both.
Sadness and reclusion.
Into the PlungeBuild me aInto the Plunge2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
sandcastle on the edge of the sea,
where the cliffs are sprayed with the salty tears of the tide,
and sirens cry into the night for the arms of a lover
to whisk them away into a dry night free of brine;
Where we shall dance the sunset's furtive sigh of redemption
on the edge of saline bluffs, and kiss with the gunpowder
of forgotten cannons high on the waves of an abandoned ocean;
Teetering the edge of the world, where the Kraken and Leviathan lay in wait
for lost-lorn victims of broken hearts and brackish undertows
coursing through their veins.
Like BreathingYour Kiss..Like Breathing2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
One is just not enough
For it puts me in a rare bliss
Going without it, is just so rough
For every time I see you
I just want to kiss you, its just so hard to resist
Because its all I want to do
For that one time we had kissed...
Was like a drug, so addicting
But also like breathing so natural
Why is it so contradicting
I just hope these feelings are mutual
For all I want now is your kiss
The Way We LiveThe Way We Live:The Way We Live2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
We all have our own little struggles;
Pushing on forward as the tragedies double.
A life led with pain and exhaustion too immense,
I'm pushing down walls as my muscles go tense.
But these are the words that you'll never hear me spit.
I'd never say I'm 'giving up' or if I should 'quit'.
I'm really freaking stupid so just tell it to my face,
And even then I'd never give up the right to race.
I'm like a lone arrow drawn and shot from a bow,
Blustered by the winds of all the things I don't know.
I'd never figure out if I'd reach the final mark,
But I know that I'd never lose my glowing inner spark.
And that's all it takes just to keep this body going.
With calloused hands in this ocean I'm still rowing
Searching for some land out amidst a sea of black;
A wandering gypsy bearing burdens on his back.
- Chen Yuan Wen, 14th January 2013
preemptive breakup poemif anyone ever tells you your sadness isn't physical,preemptive breakup poem2 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
show them the ache in your bones,
the raw skin on your arms or wrists or hips or thighs,
the imprint of your foetal body on your mattress from the days you couldn't bear to leave.
and you see this?
this is what hurt looks like.
i want you to look closer, lean in a little until you can feel the sadness on my breath
and i want you to watch my eyes. count how often they blink and count how many of them are forcing back words i still can never say.
i don't want you to miss a second of how you make me feel.
i want to be what keeps you up at night
i want to be the reason you can't eat
or laugh at your favourite tv programs
i want to be the reason
you walk with your eyes on the pavement
because too many things
remind you of me
i want you to feel the soreness of a heart unloved
loudly enough that the beating is mute and slow
loudly enough that you keep your hands in your pockets
when you move through the city so you don't touch any
Hell Doesn't Even KnowI want to cry so much...Hell Doesn't Even Know2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Maybe I'm happy,
Maybe I'm sad.
I feel so alone,
Yet I've been with people all day.
I feel so unloved,
Yet I know I have people who love me.
I can't talk about these feelings.
I can't open up when the door is locked.
And the key is lost.
I want to inspire,
But I just recieve empathy.
I want to die,
But I keep on breathing.
I feel so confused, lost and all alone.
The feelings inside me are too strong for my body.
I don't want someone to understand.
I want someone to give me the answers to why I am like this.
And a solution to fix the massacre inside me...
I Am SchizophreniaShh.I Am Schizophrenia2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
"Are you okay?"
Turn off the light.
"What are you doing?"
You can't fight the shadows.
They'll kill you if you tell.
Rip your hair out.
Cover your eyes.
Cover them again.
Lock the door.
Now you're trapped.
Lock it again.
Don't take the medication.
Don't drink the water.
Don't eat your dinner.
"I don't know you anymore. Who have you become?"
I am a nobody.
I am Schizophrenia.
I am death
"... I don't know."
I am not a stereotypeSlide the blade across your wrist.I am not a stereotype2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
"Doesn't it hurt?"
I can't feel anything.
Punch your own stomach.
Does it hurt yet?
"Why do you do that?"
The pain makes me feel alive.
"I don't know."
"What's wrong with you?"
I'm dead inside.
I'm just depressed.
Stare at your arms.
"What are you doing?"
I just have low self esteem.
I'm just human.
I'm just me.