I'm fineYou say I don't understand you
and I probably don't
But how can I ever begin to understand
if you never tell me anything?
Are you okay?
How am I supposed to know
if you always tell me
what you think I want to hear
Tell me how everything is falling apart
how you hate everything
Just don't tell me lies
I can't help you
when all you show me
is a wall
I can't help you
unless you help me first
Help me understand
even if I never truly will
You didn't dare.She smiled,You didn't dare.2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
but it was fake.
but she's about to break.
She reached out,
but no one came,
tried to fake it,
but the pain stayed the same.
This girl, she called to you,
but you didn't care.
Something told you to help,
but you didn't dare.
What would the others say?
The ones who called her a freak.
They may taunt or shun you,
so you choose not to speak.
Then she decides to leave.
Because no one wants her here.
You'll never see her cry.
She'll never shed another tear.
I Am NotI am not Ugly; you're just holding the mirror wrong.I Am Not2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I am not Blind; I just love to listen.
I am not Retarded; I just learn differently than you.
I am not ADHD; the world just fascinates me.
I am not Depressed; this is how I smile
I am not Fat; I'm just as big as my heart.
I am not Bisexual; I want to share my love with all.
I am not Cross-eyed; One eye sees beauty in this universe,
the other looks towards my future.
Before you think you may have the answer, on who I'm supposed to be,
I am not Special; I'm just being me.
I'm FineI'm fine.I'm Fine4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Clearly you see that I'm not.
But really I'm fine.
Always have been.
But no I'm not.
I'm not fine.
Saying your fine means nothing.
It is a lie.
But I say it anyways.
It's all I can say.
To keep them away.
Because telling them won't help.
Because they don't understand.
Explainations won't do.
So I say those two words.
Just to keep them satisfied.
While my mind scream "I'M NOT FINE".
My lips are in a straight line.
I show no signs of being "not fine".
But that's just a mask.
So really, I'm not fine.
But I'll keep saying it.
I'll keep saying it till you're satisfied.
Because it's my problem.
It's never your problem.
So you shouldn't have to worry.
But I want you to worry really.
But telling you that is selfish.
I can't be selfish.
Selfish is bad.
So if you ask,
Yes I am fine.
But no I am not fine.
I am far from it.
But I'll tell you that lie again.
So you don't make that face.
Even thought I'm not fi
I've Changed (Yeah right)I've Changed (Yeah right):I've Changed (Yeah right)2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You know, I tell myself everday,
That I'm going to change - that I'll be different.
'This isn't the same; I'm not the same,' that's what I tell myself...
As I sit in front of the computer, praying time doesn't move.
Coward, you're weak and you'll always be weak! You bloody disgrace...
I pick up some new magazine, get inspired,
'I want to be like that guy,' is what I think to myself.
I give it a try for two or three days - I quit.
Same old shit again...
Making up excuses? It's what you always do, you gutless wonder...
I try to reach out with my hands,
Seeking something, anything that I can find to help myself hold on...
But I don't find it - I just find myself,
Sinking back down into the same black swamp - I'm drowning.
Awww, what's the matter? You gonna cry, you gonna cry?
Yeah, I've hit rock bottom,
And you know what? It feels pretty damn good down here.
Nice, warm, comfortable, familiar.
No pressure, no problems - just like everb
Keeping secretsHave you ever cried yourself to sleep?Keeping secrets2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And if someone asked you that,
how would you answer?
Truth be told, I used to -
Just lie in bed and think,
think about every single thing
and how I felt about it...
what it meant to me.
But I'll just say no,
because I don't want you to know
about how weak I am.
And it is when all is silent,
the tears will slide slowly,
soaking your pillow.
Like a movie,
the scene plays out in your head
of all those times when you were
damaged and broken.
Replayed and replayed until
all the images end up blur and disjointed.
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yes, I have - many times, in fact.
But I'll just say no
because you're my friend
and if I were to tell you,
it would be the end.
There is no place for me.There is no place for my ideals or me,There is no place for me.2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
There is no place for justice or mercy.
There is no place for true love anymore,
It's a sad truth, it saddens me at the core.
There is no place for me in this world,
Where the cries of the needy must go unheard.
I'm cast out for my ideals, my gentleman's code,
Well, I was born like this, a man in hero mode.
There is no place for a hero in this world,
The knight in shining armour must go unheard.
There is no such thing as a Fairy Tale,
I am not Prince Charming, just another sail.
On a boat afloat on a sea of sadness,
The winds of mourning passing through me.
There is nowhere in this world for me...
There is nowhere in this world for gallantry.
My MaskI put my mask on.My Mask2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Time to face the day.
Time to plaster on a smile.
Time to pretend it's okay.
I want to crawl in bed.
Leave the world behind.
You're too ugly to go out,
whispers my mind.
I know I am,
I stifle a cry.
I want to leave,
I want to die.
My mask is done,
and I have to go.
Time to face the people.
Time to put on my show.
I'm Fine"Are you okay?"I'm Fine2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That's all they say.
And I leave behind
These words in my mind.
I'm broken, I'm dying.
Inside, I'm crying.
There are wounds beneath my skin.
There are trials I face within.
There are things I just can't say.
There are people I must betray.
Beneath a smile, I feel pain.
Behind the sun, there's always a little rain.
And beneath these words I hold in my head...
There's always the thing I say instead.
I leave the truth behind..
So when they say, "are you okay?"
I always say, "I'm fine."
MessEverywhere I goMess2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Every single place
The troubles seem to grow
Every smiling face
Eventually frowns with woe
Why can't I do
I just screw
Up everything despite
The happiness I try to spew
Is it me
Am I the source of this ache
Does the pain flow free
Is this what I make
Should I go away and hide
Never to see others
Or the outside
But would I stop another's
Pain and be the only one that ever cried
What is a life with no grey
When everyone is sad
I'd give it all away
It wouldn't be that bad
I would finally be able to say
I saved a life
Fuck Society"You can't be pretty,Fuck Society2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Without being skinny."
That's what they say,
So I start dieting,
And starving myself,
To follow their way.
"You have a disorder,
If you look too skinny."
So that's what I do,
I start to gain,
But it doesn't feel the same,
How much do I even weigh?
"You need to cover up,
If you still don't wear make-up."
I start to wear make-up,
But I don't feel pretty,
I feel like I'm suffocating,
My mom takes pity.
"Don't cover up too much,
You'll look like a slut."
I stop wearing make-up,
They want everything,
Instead of messing people up,
Why can't they chose something.
"Don't you dare cry,
Hold it in with a sigh."
I dry my tears,
I can't show my fears,
But I'm scared,
What if no one cares?
"But you can let emotions show,
So people can love you more."
My insides start to hurt,
My heart is about to burst,
I'm so confused,
What do I do?
"You want to be perfect?
We'll show you how to work it."
They messed with my head,
Causing me to hate and be hated,
For me, it's too l
How are you?"Hey! How are you?"How are you?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Frozen to the core,
Ready to cry some more,
Life is just rushed...
In so much pain,
Life has no gain,
Not good enough,
Life is just so rough,
No one could care less,
Sorry for complaining so much,
Sorry for being selfish and such,
"I'm fine, thanks for asking! And how are you?"
Don'tDon't tell me I'm beautiful.Don't2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
When i feel disgusting.
Don't Tell me I'm lovely.
When my heart is rusting.
Don't talk to me.
I'm not worth it.
Don't encourage me.
Just let me quit.
Don't touch me.
Don't wish for me.
I'm a prison.
I'm telling you.
Life with me is no fun.
The DarknessThe darkness grabs,The Darkness2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
it holds on tight.
I try to evade,
but I can't find the light.
Let me go!
I want to live,
but it does not tire.
It does not give.
I'm fading away,
can't find myself.
But no one hears my cry.
The darkness smiles in glee.
As I've lost myself all together.
I will never be free.
The Layers of SkinShe laughs out loud.The Layers of Skin2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Talking to herself.
She doesn't care though.
This girl is surrounded with her friends.
Happy with her life.
She can't cope with the stress.
Stress of work.
Stress of life.
Then the feeling that all of these other feelings simmer to eventually.
She wants to scream.
She wants to shout.
She wants to let it all out.
But her anger she must bury.
Otherwise a rampage of spilling out swear words and other vile.
Out of control, reckless and stupid.
Not thinking of consequences.
So look emotionless.
Or 'in a mood' as they call it.
She hates her anger.
She hates her thoughts and feelings.
She hates her looks.
She hates herself.
That's what guilt whispers in her ears.
She tries not to infront of people.
She sobs herself to sleep.
She can't help.
She has no hope.
Confusion eats away at her brain.
Words HurtWords HurtWords Hurt2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Hit me one more time
Hit me again
Push me around
On the floor
Down the stairs
It hurts less than your words
So kick me
Bruise my skin
But don’t call me names
It causes too much pain
I love you I really do
I’ll take the abuse
And be your punch bag
But please keep your words
My head can’t take it
My mind won’t survive
It destroys me.
Please, don't give up.You’re not alone, even if you feel such sorrowPlease, don't give up.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Please try to calm your mind and forget about tomorrow
I know that life can hurt, but from my happiness you can borrow
Please don't cry anymore, I will help you with the troublesome morrow
Even if the bad seem to be everywhere you go
Just keep in mind that you have to stay away from what’s below
And I know that you’ll learn from these bad experiences
So then you can help those who are inexperienced
Please don’t be sad, everyone has a reason for his or her existence
You can’t ever give up, push through and have resistance
The worst thing you could do is to lose all of your hope
Just promise me that you will try to never mope
Are you happy now?I tried my best to please them all…Are you happy now?2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
They said that I always looked too angry
So I shaved off my eyebrows
They said I always dressed bad
So I took off my clothes
They said I cried too much
So I burned out my eyes
They said I wasn't listening
So I tore off my ears
They said I always said the wrong things
So I ripped out my vocal cords
They said I always faked my smile
So I ripped off my lips
They said my hair was a mess
So I cut it off
They said my feet were too big
So I broke them
They said I walked weird
So I saw off my legs
They said I played too much with my fingers
So I pulled off my hands
They said my arms were too thin
So I tore them off
They said my belly looked funny
So I cut out my stomach
They said I sat funny
So I removed my hips
They said I breathe too loud
So I ripped out my lungs
They said I always hung with my head
So I tore it off
They said my skin tone was ugly
So I removed my skin
They said my muscles were weak
So I ripped them off the bones
They said my bon
Why Do You Do This?Why do you do all of thisWhy Do You Do This?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You stain your wrists
You cry all the damn time
You slip when you try to climb
You're in all this pain
Putting that blade to a vein
You dig it in, but not too deep
For now, that price is too steep
But will the day eventually come
A day when you are so very numb
That the price isn't too high
And you give up the will to try
God forbid that day should arrive
I want you to be happy and alive
Yet I freak out when you aren't there
Don't make me feel loss and despair
My smileMy smile was once so easy,My smile2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
a thing of joy and pride,
but over these years of darkness,
the ease has slowly died.
I find it's no longer truth,
but simply a lying mask.
It hides away the misery,
the hauntings of my past.
I refuse to look at pictures.
I see what others ignore.
The uneasiness of my smile.
How it has turned into a chore.
Will I ever truly smile,
with joy, pride, and truth,
or will I never know a smile?
Will it die with the rest of my youth?
Please, i wish to laugh,
to smile without a care,
but I'm not good enough for this,
and I guess that is fair.
I'm fine.Why do people keep telling me I'm quiet and shy?I'm fine.4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Why do people keep telling me I'm a stupid loser?
Why do people keep asking me if I'm okay?
Why do people keep wanting to help me?
Why do I keep lying to myself?
Am I really okay?
Do I actually need help?
Why do I keep lying to myself?
I hate those words so much.
They are a lie.
I'm really not okay.
But who will listen and who will care?
I'm not okay.
My Soul to KeepHeart beats fast,My Soul to Keep2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
nerves are stretching,
so close to snapping.
Try to calm down.
Take a deep breath,
feel so weak,
so close to death.
and the clock's ticking slow.
When will it be over?
When's my time to go?
about to break.
God, I'm here,
my soul to take.
Take it now.
I'm really done,
tired of fighting,
don't want to run.
I just want to rest,
just want to sleep,
take me forever,
my soul to keep.
I Met MeToday I met a girl,I Met Me2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
and she asked, "How are you?"
"Just fine," I replied.
She said, "No, tell me what's true."
Perplexed, I stopped and stared.
She was young, no older than eight.
Her eyes were still innocent.
They knew no hate.
"What did you say?"
I asked in confusion.
"You know what I mean," she said.
This girl was in a delusion.
Trying to be kind,I replied,
"No I do not."
She frowned and replied,
"You lie quite a lot."
Now I was agitated.
What does this girl know?
Acting like she's so intelligent.
I'll just tell her to go.
"Let me explain!"
She exclaimed in haste.
"I know you're not alright.
I know you feel misplaced."
How in the world?
Who is this little girl?
"But I'm here to say you'll be alright.
Though your friends will leave,
leave you feeling alone and cold,
you'll find a reprieve."
"So just stay strong
because I know you can do it."
How? Who are you?
I wished she would quit.
Suddenly it was silent,
and I turned to see,
but there was no one there at al
Just Words"I'm fine" is a dirty lie.Just Words2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The truth is that I want to die.
"I'm tired" is not even done.
It really means "I'm tired of being no one"
"I'm better" is but a curse.
The truth is that I've never been worse
"I'm just cold" is what I say
so my sleeves can hide my scars away.
"I already ate" is said with a frown.
I starve to see the numbers on the scale go down.
"I'm okay" is probably the worst.
It really means I'm about to burst.
All these things are lies to me.
But you take this as the truth because what else would I be?
About sadness.I have always waitedAbout sadness.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
waited for insanity to come.
Everything is rated
by others, but I am all alone.
Buying things to compensate
all the things I ever lost
All things to abbreviate
the urge of things I needed most.
The feeling of happiness
is now filled with loneliness;
sadness with expansion.