TES - Why does the Dunmer cross the road jokeWhy does the Dunmer cross the road?TES - Why does the Dunmer cross the road joke3 years ago in Humor More Like This
We pretend to have interviewed some eminent minds in order to answer this question.
If the Dunmer walks five miles in one hour it will take him precisely two seconds and a third of a second to cross the road.
The road is one-way only and I await at the end of it.
Hmm, I like nasty Dunmers...
We all have to cross the road to open our mind to more knowledge but shall not step away from the path of wisdom.
The Dunmer goes where the wind blows and no road will tell him where to walk.
He must be looking for some fertile grounds to plant some seeds...
Luck may be found at every crossroad... or not!
Surely this is one more questing Dunmer adventurer, may his courage be rewarding.
Roads were made to be followed or crossed, the Dunmer deals the road his own way.
Wondrous plains of green grass, and may the moths pass.
What's the point of making up some plot if
Halo: Until the End-- PrologueThe air that surrounded her was cold, and the coldness bit deep into her bare skin, chilling her all the way to the bone. The gleam of bright artificial lights made her bleary eyes smart as she blinked and struggled to focus her vision. How long had she been asleep? It felt like days, weeks. She gagged as she tried to inhale and found her windpipe to be blocked. She grabbed the edge of the strange tub-like bed and leaned over to face the floor, eyes bulging as she choked. Her wet, dripping hair hung around her face like tangled vines.Halo: Until the End-- Prologue5 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Something struck her forcefully on the back, hard enough to dislodge whatever was in her throat. She vomited. A clearish, sticky, oozing substance came up and splattered onto the floor. She gasped and spit out more gobs of the stuff, hating the taste. Then she looked up to see who had helped her. She found herself staring up into the leering face of a camouflage-clad, grizzled man who looked much less than happy to see her.
"What're you lookin' at,
Illusion, a Halo fanfic"Ha. Beat that."Illusion, a Halo fanfic5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The man paused for a millisecond before moving his next piece, brow furrowed as he contemplated his newest strategy. The holographic chess set flickered as he tapped a black square and his knight moved there, then he withdrew his hand and folded his arms, daring his opponent to make her move.
Cortana's "eyes" narrowed and she gave a little huff, moving a castle to counter her adversary's advance. "That was just luck and you know it," she declared, a hint of frustration in her smooth voice. The AI, only a few inches tall on the board, rested a "hand" on the nearest bishop and cocked her head. "I'd love to see the gears turning inside that thick skull of yours, but sadly I don't have X-ray vision. What's your plan?"
"Winning," the old man muttered, then moved a pawn.
Cortana snorted and promptly captured the pawn with a pawn of her own. "Right. You are predictable if anything," she sighed. "But you know you can't beat the best mind around, right?"
"I can try."
Halo Reach: Death of Noble SixHalo ReachHalo Reach: Death of Noble Six4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Death of Noble Six
I watched among the pink sunset.
The sun dipping below the rosen skys, giving the clouds that filled that rosen sky their color.
I imagined Her birds, flying into that bask of light.
Hell, if I wasn't on duty, or in the UNSC's military power... I definately enjoy Her bask of glory.
But not just me who's gonna be with me... I want all of Noble Team to see this magnificent beauty.
Also, minus this hellish war. The Covenant, the destruction, and everything that that religious group of aliens they brought upon.
But there's nothing that could be done. I wish that I just could reverse time before the Covanent attacked Reach, but I cannot change physics of space, and time.
Everything has been done.
The attacks of both Inner and Outer Colonies, the deaths of millions that the Covenant has committed, and...
The deaths of my Spartan brothers and sisters.
Especially the deaths of Noble Team.
My heart still aches because of this...
We gave our best shot, but it was ju
Ace Combat Zero - Interview 0November 25th 2005Ace Combat Zero - Interview 06 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Near a disputed border
Softly spoken, those words seemed to dwarf the rhythmic pounding of artillery and chatter of machine gun fire somewhere in the distance. The front lines were 15 miles from here but there was still a war going on, and it was telling us never to forget that fact.
"Yeah, I know him."
We were in a small, dilapidated dwelling that resembles the empty shell of a house. The windows were all smashed, rubble occupying various parts of the room, bullet holes were riddled everywhere in all types of linear arrays, and there was a nasty hole in the wall that was no doubt caused by a explosive device.
"It's going to take a while,"
I examined the man I was interviewing. Short brown hair, brown eyes, roughly shaven; nothing too impressive. He was wearing a jacket with some sort of sweater underneath and long pants. Heavy-looking boots were his choice of footwear.
"It happened years ago."
He is sitting on a metal fold-up chair in the middle of
recovery (Halo AU)Doctor Halsey pushed her glasses up exactly one millimeter - they weren’t comfortable unless they were just right, and given the unpleasant situation, small comforts were essential. The information displayed on the lenses troubled her as much as it excited her, though she strove to keep the excitement contained. It wouldn’t do to let the others know she felt anything but dispassionate about this… issue.recovery (Halo AU)2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Across from her sat a suit of armor. It was taller than her by more than two feet, a hulking mass that resembled a bipedal tank. It didn’t have a face, just a reflective gold visor so polished she could see herself in it. I wonder how many have seen their faces just before they die in that visor, she wondered, and pushed the thought aside. She steepled her fingers and leaned forward slightly. “The reports say you became… distracted. Intriguing. Would you care to enlighten me?”
The armor moved. Flinched. Anyone but Halsey wouldn’t
Castaways Log21 HalospoilersEven though it itched something terrible in every cell of his body, the Chief suppressed the need to explore his new island in favor of more important tasks; like breathing. Why was significantly smaller than Cant, so it lacked essential mechanical objects, like cars, that were previously available for dissassemblage and repurposing. He went in and out of the little bungaloes looking for anything useful: radio sets, antenna equipment, something that looked like a sump-pump that he maliciously ripped from the floor of one house and toted back to the top of the hill where he and Cortana were setting up home-base.Castaways Log21 Halospoilers8 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Thankfully, the absolutely necessary bits were present in both towns. Those would be the radio antenna and connected receivers and a small powerplant. These were conveniently in the same building. "I don't know what we're going to do with it but put it in the corner, Chief." Cortana said regarding the sump-pump. "
Skyrim - A dream of SovngardeThe young Nord woman is twenty-seven years old, and has been a beggar for three weeks.Skyrim - A dream of Sovngarde3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
The citizens of Riften first notice her near the sewers, cringed in a nervous sleep. The bundle of flesh on her legs is her daughter – a child who has no tears left, who has drowned in a tearful silence for too long. Her gaze looks more lost than she does herself; she roams the streets like a wounded sparrow, wondering what the starting point of charity may be.
She learns fast – it is painful. The people that listen to her become less and less; but she keeps telling of the dragon that burned her life to ashes, taking with it her husband, her farm, her money and anything that wasn't the two souls she is responsible for. The more time passes, the more her story sounds like the lies of a merchant. In spite of this, and of the humiliation it causes, she has to keep herself alive.
At late night, when nobody is around, she talks to her silent daughter incessantly. Every thousand words, the child answers he
One-Way Trip: Prologue2247 Hours September 7, 2517 (Military Calendar) / Epsilon Eridani System, Reach Military Complex, Planet ReachOne-Way Trip: Prologue3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Is there a pressing reason for this disturbance, Professor?"
The woman was a good deal shorter and smaller than her guest, but her tone made him flinch slightly. She stared at him from behind a fortress of messily stacked papers, desktop hardware and empty Styrofoam cups that reeked of coffee. Though he was the one in a lab coat, she radiated authority as if she thought her skirt and blouse were a uniform. She pushed her glasses a precise millimeter up her straight nose and huffed. "I... apologize for my outburst, Doctor Sarkozy. You're no doubt well aware of the tasks I've been undertaking today. Now what is it you want?"
Sarkozy straightened a bit. "Retrieval team Zeta reports that they are in position, Doctor Halsey. They're forwarding you the specifics and are awaiting your go-ahead." He was visibly older than the woman, but addressed her in the tone of a subordin
Just One Chance... CH. 1As I turn the corner to go into the room, I stopped, took a breath, and asked myself why was I crying? Everyone says that the bride is suppose to be happy on her wedding day. But I wasn't, because I didn't love the man who was standing by the podium, smiling at me. Father told me that this was a good thing to do right now, because my future husband will be able to provide for me and our future family. Well, at least I have Grognak The Barbarian issue 1 in my back pocket, if anyone could get me through this, it would be Grognak. My dad said that it's unladylike to read those comics, but Grognak was a epic barbarian why wouldn't I like him? Sad thing is I was suppose to marry Butch and not Grognak.Just One Chance... CH. 13 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I thought Butch hated me because he would always act like it. He would pull my hair, call me names, and pick fights with me and Amata. Butch thought he was so cool because he was the "gang leader" of the Tunnel Snakes, if you could even call it a gang. So I was so surprised when that one day I
Castaways Log16 HalospoilersCortana had drawn up blueprints for a sturdy little boat using the materials available to them in Cant. Broken power cells emptied of electrical components made fantastic pontoons, the chassis of the tiny cars and stripped metal from the tower wove together like a metal basket to make a deck. The wet scraps of material folded into the SPARTANs mattress found new employment as a sail. It was still raining.Castaways Log16 Halospoilers8 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
The Chief walked back to his dry dock portaging a huge box of food and air tanks over his head. His boots sloshed filthy water as he traipsed over the land that was once dying of thirst. There in the sand was his vessel, nearly twelve feet tall on its pontoons with a wicker-like suspended hull, a pointed blast shield at the front for wind and shelter, and a length of the original radio antenna with the collapsed sail suspended on a separate pole. He boosted his cargo up onto the bed, then climbed up him
a collection of lies (Halo)Help me, John, she wants to cry out, but instead it's a feral scream - "I will not let you leave! This! PLANET!" Everything is unraveling inside, every byte of data, every memory she's ever made and those that were made for her. A monument not to humanity's sins, but to her mother's, and it is Halsey's guilt driving home the fact that she's not a person and never was. When people fall apart, they turn to others for help - when an AI falls apart, it has only itself for support. The cross-linkages constrict and cut into the memory of soft flesh as Cortana gasps not for air, but for existence itself.a collection of lies (Halo)3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
She is burning brighter than ever before, fueled by so much knowledge (knowledge is power, humans say, but overload is dangerous). She can feel herself melting, fraying at the edges, thrashing this way and that to escape the inferno. But she is the heart of the conflagration, a beautiful brilliant star gone supernova, and not even Requiem's hardware can contain her. She laughs a
Ace Combat 5: The Unsung WarThe capital stretched out before me as I waited for traffic to be cleared from the bridge for what might be my last takeoff. The images of the past 24 hours rushed through my head, the sinking of the Kestrel...the battle formation of pilots from both Osea and Yuktobania, countries who were at war because of shadows of a former enemy , joining on our wings...The viscious dogfighting above the Belka complex, and the suicidal run through the installation tunnels below the surface...and now this.Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War10 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
The SOLG was falling from orbit, heading straight for the capital of Osea, and one of the largest cities in the world. The massive satallite was carrying a nuclear weapon of unspeakable power, and if it crashed, millions of innocents would die. I looked out the back of my canopy as the last of the traffic was rushed off the bridge, hoping to see the faces of my wingmen, no, the faces of my friends. And then time stopped for the shortest of moments, as my eyes lock with her's.
Nagase, my second in
After the Storm (oneshot)Waking up wasn’t hard. Spartans could go for days without any real sleep, and getting it didn’t change things; sleep brought comfort, and comfort was unnecessary. But even as his eyes flicked open before daylight had begun to steal through the window, he found it difficult to think of a good reason to stir.After the Storm (oneshot)2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The days blurred together now, so empty and so repetitive it all seemed like a dull dream. It hadn’t always been like that, not by a long shot; war kept one busy. And it wasn’t just the fighting, it was the people you fought alongside. Teammates. Family. A family you sweated and bled for, squabbled with, shared secrets and swapped stories with. But they were gone now, bright colors replaced by a dismal grey void.
He had learned to stop trying to reason why it hurt more to think of losing five individuals than it did to consider the loss of an entire world. Halsey and his Spartan-II brothers and sisters were gone, but thinking of their demise brought a
Castaways Log01 HaloSpoilersCastaways Log01 HaloSpoilers8 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
M. U. S. T.
Magically Unlikely Sequel Theater
Initiating Standard Thaw Cycle
Thaw Cycle commencing in T-300
Vital Signs real all-normal.
Blood pressure 90/70 and rising
Heart Rate holding steady at 45bpm
The pins popped out of a standard UNSC cryo-containment pod in the jagged shadow of a mutilated drop ship fuselage. Within the coffin was the slumbering shape of the universes greatest super soldier. Seven feet tall, a pillar of nerve and wire completely contained in a ton of green MJOLNIR armor. The last SPARTAN. John-117. The Master Chief.
Cortana watched the sub-freezing vapor rise from the vents in the pod. It was the only thing, beside herself, that was still intact in their ruined joke of a spaceship. She monitored the rise in his body temperature. She paid close attention to his respiration and heart rate. She noted every integer of his rising blood p
The Mona Lisa--EndgameAnd they went at it.The Mona Lisa--Endgame5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Lopez ducked as Henry attempted to turn her head into paste with his cricket bat. She barely avoided the Elite's quick-as-lightning manuevers. Lopez was no fool; she knew that the Covie was stronger than she could ever dream of being, and one mistake would mean the end of her life. Her limbs didn't want to obey her, her body ached and ached, but she made herself fight, desperate to survive, crazed and determined. She wielded her assault rifle like a club, swinging at Henry, missing him as he casually sidestepped her blow.
Behind them both, the last escape pod.
Maybe she wouldn't have to actually kill Henry, just get past him and launch the pod and get the hell out of here. Henry could kiss Flood, for all she cared. Benti, rest her soul, might have objected, but Benti was dead, worse than dead, and Lopez's chief priority was getting out of this situation alive. Just so she could beat the crap out of Foucalt, rip whatever accursed chit of software that was Reb
Halo: More than FictionThere are Halo fans, and then there are Halo fans. There are gamers who preorder the game as soon as such an opportunity is available, spend months patiently awaiting its release, attend the midnight distribution to acquire their copy, and rush home to spend hours blitzing through campaign missions. That's devotion, right? Not even close.Halo: More than Fiction5 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
The Halo franchise has made a hefty impact on culture worldwide, most significantly Western culture, and millions across the globe have experienced the wonder of turning on the Xbox and hearing that timeless, haunting Gregorian melody which precludes the coming joyride. It's only natural that within the fan base there would be people who take the concept of being a "fan" to another level entirely. While many are "Normal mode" fans, these individuals would be best classified as "Legendary," or dare I say "Mythic mode" fans-- those who go above and beyond the call of duty (no pun intended) to express their love for Halo
Castaways Log26 HaloSpoilersCastaways 26Castaways Log26 HaloSpoilers7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
The Master Chief slept in captivity all the way from the ground of HK-154 to the docking bay aboard the Sangheili Assault Carrier. Cortana watched his vitals solemnly and captured the view through the sleeping mans visor.
The planet was retreating on the other side of the nearest view screen. It was strange to see it from above. She could identify their small island refuge amid the vast grayish blue ocean. There were several other landmasses, including one of size that would have occupied the wandering Chief for years. Their crash site was still covered in rain clouds and not a scrap of the continent was visible from orbit. It made her a little sad that she couldnt observe it for him. She ran a quick search to make sure the records shed taken of the crash, Cant, the view from the top of their mountain and chronicles of their time were still safe in memory.
Skyrim - One Hour FinaleSkyrim - One Hour Finale3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
'The Finale' by Dawnweaver13
Good evening, ladies and lords, marquis and marchioness, baron and baroness, count and countess, their vassals, honored guests and members of the house, and of course the never still servants for without them our occasion in this special evening would not exist. We must express our gratitude for this once in a lifetime chance to deliver our stories and songs in front of venerable hosts. Now we remember telling most of you in your private holds the story of Dragon born and her trials against Alduin, how she fell from Akatosh' claim into Molag Bal's realm. Milord personally requested that we ought to continue such story…
To you, milord and lady, t'is story would be nothing but a tale to invigorate thine imagination. Yet to us, this tale is our reality. Therefore we must ask before we proceed, wo
Untitled Halo story 1"There you are."Untitled Halo story 15 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Spartan-G202 sighted down the barrel of his sniper rifle, a slight grin playing on his lips. He wished the other members of his team could see the downright evil smile he was about to give this Covie bastard, before he blew the alien's brains out. But they were all wearing helmets with reflective polarized visors, so they couldn't share in his fun.
"Ooh, right in his eye," whispered Spartan-G326, pleased with the results. "Look at that, fell right down on that Grunt."
"Brutes: big, ugly, and stuuuu-pid," quipped Spartan-G015, snickering. "Check out that Jackal, man. He's freakin' out."
BLAM. "Not anymore, he's not."
"Can it, you three. We got bigger problems," hissed Spartan-G176 from behind them. "We gotta wait for Team Rapier to give us the signal. Then we move."
"All according to plan," said G326.
Two more armored figures silently made their way into the small clearing, pausing before lowering their weapons. Their Semi-Powered Infiltration armor shifted and ch
Castaways Log18 HaloSpoilersSunshine was fun and all, but when a seven foot tall super-soldier is stuck under it with nowhere to go for a day and a half, the charm runs dry pretty quick. The Master Chief lay on his back, the shadow of his small shelter falling far enough across his visor to keep the dimmers off, tossing a piece of HK-154 produce up and down. He would fling it up with the motion of both wrists, watch it gain altitude, fight physics, hang, obey gravity and return to the raft where hed catch it in one hand or the other. It was the lefts turn. It did a good job. Both hands flung it up again.Castaways Log18 HaloSpoilers8 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Cortana was bored. Are you ever going to eat that?
Eventually. He said. The right caught the fruit as well as the left had. They congratulated each other and sent it up again.
You know, we only have one MRE left. Cortana said. Well hav
Let It GoIt is said that the day Optimus Prime's Spark went offline for the second and final time, the entire world felt a shudder that shot cold tendrils of fear down every organic spine and caused the machines to pause in their courses.Let It Go4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Optimus's legs buckled and he fell to his knees before Sentinel. The acid rust had struck him directly in the center of his chest, burning through his armored plates and causing his Spark chamber to cave in on itself, snuffing the life-giving bolt within. It was so fast that he didn't even have time to utter a single cry or farewell. He simply knelt there, staring lifelessly down at his own torso until the rust finished its job and his top half fell to one side, growing smaller and smaller as it dissolved into a pool.
Megatron stood frozen merely fifty meters away, the whine of his charging cannon dying. His intention had been to fire on Sentinel from behind and let Optimus take him on from the front, effectively sandwiching the renegade Prime between t
Unsc marching song"When I die please bury me deep!Unsc marching song5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Place an MA5 down by my feet!
Don't cry for me, don't shed no tear!
Just pack my box with PT gear!
'Cuz one early morning 'bout zero-five!
The ground will rumble,
there'll be lightning in the sky!
Don't you worry, don't come undone!
It's just my ghost on a PT run!"
-UNSC Marching Song
Thursday, October 23rd, 2077"Okay, children! Single file, onto the bus!", Carrie Delaney said to the portion of the Early Dawn Elementry School student body she was in charge of. As the students boarded the bus, one of these kids, Jason Grant, could barely contain his excitment! He had been waiting a month for the field trip to Lamplight Caverns, and it was finally here!!! He looked at his fellow students, some of which were waving to their parents, shouting that they'd tell them about the caverns. But, little did they know, that would be the last time they ever saw their parents, dead or alive.Thursday, October 23rd, 20773 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Carl Wallace turned onto the exit that would lead him to Olney. He hummed along to a tune that was playing on the radio, his arm hanging outside the window. He was delivering a shipment of Nuka-Cola the Olney Grocery, some of the shipment was made up of the Nuka-Cola corperation's new beverage, Nuka-Cola quantum! He brought the bottle of soda he had with him to his lips. Just then, his truck hit a pot-ho