Blocking the thoughts"it's all a joke"
I want to go running for the danger.
"You know you need it"
I shake the thoughts away.
"your not really strong"
I turn my music up.
"Go ahead and grab it"
I throw it across my room.
"The pain is your medicine"
I turn the music up louder.
I pick my phone up,
And remember what i know is true.
Watching You LeaveYou announced where you were goingWatching You Leave3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
my heart stopped and tears like a waterfall were flowing
I didn't want you to go that far away
I was not ready for this to come into play...
You told me that you'll visit as much as you can
This wasn't what I had in mind, not this plan!
I hated watching you when you were packing,
it only reminded me over and over you were leaving.
You spend lots of time with friends and family
you might be leaving, but you're still a Rockey.
I love you to death, but you need to fly away
yet I know I'm not the only one who wished you'd stay.
I grew up my whole life looking up to you,
and now you have left me feeling blue.
I keep thinking you'll turn up at home,
but I'm not the only one thinking this, I'm not alone.
I want to hug you again and see you smile,
but I can't do any of that for a while.
I am glad you're doing just fine,
and I will get to see you in time.
I don't know exactly when I'll see you,
but I know that when I do
I probably won't stop talking
Move onBack and forthMove on3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The thoughts in my head
From all the words you said
My hands shook
As I fought back emotion
My throat closed
My tears like an ocean
I flipped the switch
All my feelings suppressed
I tell myself
This is for the best
You walked on me
And left me in pieces
I was there for you
Yet you weren't there when I needed
I lived for you
And you took me for granted
I almost died for you
Yet all these lies you planted
Too many chances
You used them all twice
Despite how it hurts
I have to take my own advice
You're no good for me
You just hold me down
If I keep following you
I know you'll surely let me drown
I'm better off
Away from your cold grip
It feels harder to live
I'll make it
With me and me alone
My heart you no longer own
You'll Never Understand...You'll never understand...You'll Never Understand...3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But I'm glad you don't.
Because that would mean
You'd have to go through my pain.
And I'd never wish that
Not enough for herWhy won't the tears go away?Not enough for her3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Expecialy at this time of the day,
Where is the sharp friend when i need it?
Why can't i stop?
I wish she'd stop yelling at me.
And leave me be.
I wish i could be happy.
"He dosn't deserve you."
Yeah he does, that's your opinion.
"He used to do drugs."
He has been sober for 5 years.
"You do nothing right"
I know you tell me every night.
FatePending choices, which one is right?Fate3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Can I make the right choice tonight?
Only one direction will take me to my destination
Only one path will lead to salvation
Is freedom worth fighting for, If it means I'm in chains?
Is my future worth living for, if I have all this pain?
Uncertainty presses heavy on my chest
With all this anxiety my thoughts never rest
If only I had answers to this burning question
If only I had an arrow, pointing to the right direction
My life is balancing on the tip of my tongue
One wrong word and I can't turn and run
I'm running out of time, I have to make this choice
But I can't think clearly with all of this noise
It's time to close my eyes, let my heart decide
If this decides my very fate- I'd rather chose it blind
FighterMy tongue is a weaponFighter4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Sharp as a blade
My mind is a tool
You best be afraid
I've practiced my skills
And mastered my arts
I dare you to attack me
I'll tear you apart
My love is my armor
My strength is my shield
In the past, you've won battles
But I've long since healed
So when we meet again I'll be ready
This time I will win
I'm ready to stand up
And bring out the fighter within
The DamnedSlowly stepping, past the dayThe Damned3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Plagued in darkness, I will stay
For good and evil battling within the perdition land
Creeping past the scorched floor
Missing bliss found nevermore
Defiant, against our Father and Lord I will stand
Seeing insanities continuing spite
Its hands, pulling me from the light
Under only evils plight, and unbreakable command
Grinning softly in my presents
Brings forth a darkened essence
To only such my adolescence can withstand
With its long and fickle fingers
Sharpened tips, gently lingers
Upon my frail fragile figure, the darkness spans
With be it such an evil way
To not see the light of day
For only he to stay under such command
I asked of thee past a caught tongue
"Why let it be? Why the young?"
For he to look at me "To send the Damned."
With such retort, I reply
"Such evil shall be nigh."
Presenting blackened eyes "Said such with no command."
Forming a potent felicity
As bliss threatens insanity
To find bliss found nevermore in such a land
For good and evil
VerilyVerily must I reconcile to the foreboding boundaries of hypocrisyVerily3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
To dwindle in the insubordination of the damned souls of corrupted men
For their goals to reshape the utopia we have all been brought up to believe
To show we have gratitude past the groveling beggar, or the traveling conman
To men tucked away within gold-plated structures, who grow fat on the plight of others
Leaving their mark of their existence through towering statues, and clean-cut stone
The memories will fade when these are torn form established society
The walls shall not hold
The near and dear purchased objects worth nothing more than ash
Not a cent in hand when faced to pay the ferryman
Statues mean nothing with diminished barricades
The merciless killer softened against the mental and physical torment of now crumbling worldly desires
Men are no longer men
They are savages
Earning command, earning worthless privileges
Only respect lasts amongst self-gratifying souls
To be gained by the man fighting the good figh
I will wait for you"I will wait for you"I will wait for you4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A whisper from him
His dieing sentence
Said to her
A love's promise
She watches in horror
As his eyes leak bleakness
His chest vibrates no movement
His mouth echoes no breath
"I love you"
She whispers silently
To the love she has lost
To the life she must live
Forever without him
Forever thinking of him
I can't breathe in your presenceMy heart stops beating,I can't breathe in your presence3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
As he walks by,
I don't think I'm breathing,
I realized we never said goodbye.
I close my eyes,
And I walk away,
And hold my head up and try not to cry,
I tell myself "everything's going to be okay."
I need to move on,
I need to understand that there is nothing more,
To him I am gone,
That's it, nothing more.
Gun Within The MirrorIt feels as if my reflectionGun Within The Mirror2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Points a gun at its own head,
As my bullet shoots the mirror
And paints the floor with red,
And it feels as if my gun
Just isn't steady in my hand,
Because darling, when I jump off cliffs,
Do you think I always land?
It feels as if the razor blade
Might be my only friend,
And it feels as if the broken glass
Might soon begin to bend,
Because my reflection is distorted, love.
Can't you see that, love, can't you see?
I'm pointing a gun at the mirror,
And the mirror points back at me.
Am I Good Enough...?Legs crossed on a cold basement floor,Am I Good Enough...?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Blood stains painting my flesh,
The wounds deeper than ever before,
A white gown now a short black dress.
Long tangled hair clinging to my tears
Wind howling through the trees,
Moonlight painting a sky so clear,
And darling, I'm going to be set free.
My fingers scratch at the blood on my skin,
A delightful pain at the thought of a touch,
And hey, everyone who said I wasn't worth it,
Now am I good enough?
Are You?I'm sorry,Are You?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
that I'm not
I'm not a supermodel.
that I'm not
I'm not a comedian.
that I'm not
that I'm not
that I'm not
I'm not perfect.
I am a labelI slid the blade across my wristI am a label3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Again and again.
Maybe I’m an emotional freak.
I cause fights and arguments
Maybe I’m a troublemaker.
I use make up to make myself seem
Maybe I’m girly.
I complain about things
Even when sometimes
Maybe I’m an attention seeker.
I fall under so many
So maybe I am a label.
I’m just me.
Sick of societyI may live inside my own, twisted universeSick of society3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I may change, sometimes for the worst.
What's normal to me is not normal for you.
Sometimes I just do what I need to do.
Behind a brick wall, I hoped someone would break it
I threw out my heart hoping someone would take it.
But I got tired of hiding and tired of hating
And instead of throwing myself at every guy, I'm waiting.
I'm sick of the person I tried to be
So basically, here I am, I will be me
I'm sick of the hatred, would you not agree?
.. Basically I'm sick of society.
Crash LandingI had a heart,Crash Landing4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I had a key.
I didn't entrust it
I thought this
so my wings,
But i took
to come and
I crashed to the floor,
my heart breaking.
HeartI left my heart's door open,Heart3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But no one walked in.
I laughed but no one laughed with me.
All that's left is a symphony.
It's coming from the back of my heart.
I'm waiting for someone to hear it.
Will you listen?
Don't I deserve it?Why is the flesh so fragile?Don't I deserve it?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Soft skin turns to jagged red lines
The day before the snow came
Three years ago so similar
Right to this day, before the moon came out
This life I live, it frightens them
One week ago I finally went insane
I cut some more jagged lines
Right down to the bone, my love
I hope this hurts you
As much as it hurts me every day
Don't I deserve it, my love?
After all, I blame you
All of my insecurities, spoon fed
Only by you, my sweet love
So go home, let me rest
Do I not deserve it, my love?
I Thought You Were The One.You're the oneI Thought You Were The One.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
who's supposed to see the real me.
see through the plaster smile
and see the pool of pent up tears
and purple scars.
you can't see.
You don't take enough time
to even try to see.
I thought you were the one
who was finally
going to break my chains,
set me free.
no one will ever
be able to see
the real me.
I amSome nights I lie here wondering why I went down this roadI am4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Where I took the turn that lead here
Why I left my home
But other nights it all makes sense
Every piece fell into place
And I'm content with where I am
No matter what anyone says
There's been ups and downs
Lefts and rights
And nights that just wouldn't end
But when the sun came up I knew I was fine
And am proud of the life I've lead
I've broken hearts and fallen apart
But I learned how to stand
I love myself for what I've done
And am sure of who I am
I know what I want and what I don't
I always speak my mind
If you've lost me, you'll be sorry
But I learned not to waste my time.