Masquerade - Chapter 1 MASQUERADEMasquerade - Chapter 12 years ago in Romance More Like This
Bilbo Baggins, hobbit of the Shire, was currently seated in a low rocking chair on the porch with his pipe, lazily blowing smoke rings. The ever present twinge in his side gave a particularly nasty throb and Bilbo winced, muttering a few curses under his breath. Such a shame for a nice, pleasant day to be marred by physical pain. Muffled footsteps behind Bilbo caught his attention and he looked up into the dark, beady eyes of Beorn. The skin changer offered him a serene smile and sat down beside him, depositing a scroll of parchment in his lap.
Bilbo raised an eyebrow. “It’s not even my birthday” he said lightly.
Beorn laughed. “It’s not from me, have you seen the seal my young friend?” he said, tapping the parchment. “That is from the house of Durin”
Bilbo’s mouth went dry. “House of . . . Durin?” he squeaked. What would Thorin want with him now? To slice his throat open? Hang him
To all those Repo fanatics...To people whoTo all those Repo fanatics...4 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Need a hit, now hurry,
Who wished to God that they were the one who died,
Who let the monster rise,
Who would rather be blind,
Who need a stage name,
Who are a disgrace,
Who blame not their cheeks,
Who need a little help with the agony,
Who keep those vultures guessing,
Who are afraid it's terminal,
Who see things in a graveyard,
Who need to take their medicine,
Who can't get it up if the girl's breathing,
Who don't take shit from no one,
Who will find a hole and fuck it,
Who have a thankless job,
Who mark it up,
Who are cheap imposters,
Who always save a bundle when they buy GeneCo parts,
Who are only living out a lie,
Who are infected,
Who say Bravi, Bravi, Bravisimme,
Who want to go outside,
Who stand at 6 foot 6, head and shoulders,
Who steal and rob graves.
To all those assassins,
Those Night Surgeons,
And Graverobber, Graverobbers
WE SALUTE YOU.
80 things learned from TolkienPretty, shiny things are hazardous to your health.80 things learned from Tolkien6 years ago in Humor More Like This
This is because the Law of Attraction is multiplied 100x once you look at them
Hobbits state the overly obvious
Chocolate is nonexistent in Middle-Earth.
Arwen stole Glorfindel's horse.
Beer and Tobacco seem to have a beneficial effect on hobbits
Never make fires in questionable caves
Kick a troll, and your foot will break
Elvish accents are low and whispery
Never sleep in a boat if your Dad is a Pyromaniac
Don't give twins the exact same name
Imitating voices can come in handy
Running at your brother with a sword and shouting at him in old-fashioned language will get you a big time-out
Really, really big dogs are very useful
Being good at riddles can save your life
Giant spiders freak out elves big-time
Elrond should have pushed Isildur into the crack of doom
Sauron once got pwned by a girl
If you insult any of Tùrin's female relatives, you will find yourself impaled on a rock at the bottom of a raging river.
Speaking of w
One Day More-Hobbit BOFA/Les Miserables crossoverOne Day More-Hobbit BOFA/Les Miserables crossover5 months ago in General Fiction More Like This
One day more
Another day, another destiny
This endless road to greed and thievery
Now Thorin truly knows my crime
He won't forgive a second time
One day more
I did not live until that day
How can I live when we are parted?
One day more
[Kili and Tauriel]
Seems you and I are worlds away
And yet, with you, my world has started!
One more day all on my own
[Kili and Tauriel]
Will we ever meet again?
One more day with her not caring
[Kili and Tauriel]
I was born to be with you
What a life I might have known
[Kili and Tauriel]
And I swear I will be true!
But she never saw me there!
One more day before the storm!
Will I follow where he goes?
So we'll fight to keep our kingdom
Will I join my uncle there?
When our ranks begin to form
Do I stay; and do I dare?
Will you take your place with me?
The time is now, the day is here
One day more!
Wolven Oak: Chapter OneWolven Oak: Chapter One2 years ago in Romance More Like This
The Hobbit: Wolven Oak
Chapter One: The Dwarf Bard of Bree
It was nearing dusk as the sun began to set on the beautiful spring sky. And even the grouchiest of beings would have had to admit how good the weather had been that entire week. There had not had been an unwelcome cloud in the sky, nor anything but tender winds and green grasses, which had brought untold relief and joy to the farmers and town sellers of the small hamlet of Bree.
And despite the usual drab industry feeling the town created, Bree almost seemed peaceful as the daylight began to fade.
During the day, the streets were filled with numerous travelers and natives, but on this particular evening the roads were unfrequented. Which was nothing short of a blessing to the woman that made her way to the hamlet's inn.
Looking at this woman from behind, one might have thought her to be male, with her short and somewhat stocky build and broad shoulders. But if you looked upon her face, it wa
Gilraen's LullabySleep, my sonGilraen's Lullaby5 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
The night is a river
carrying you there
where silver stars shiver
On streams of dreams
to a land without sorrow
where boys have fathers
and the mounds are hollow
Sleep, my child
the sun hides till morrow
Her last rays a way
that elven ships follow
There, names are not secret
that can bring a danger
And father to child
doesn't have to be stranger
Sleep, my Hope
and hope of your people
Than mighty oak
your roots are deeper
Once you will know
the pride of the humbled,
the value of honour
and hopes of your kindred,
Sleep, my son
while darkness is soothing,
while you can rest
from the call of duty...
Once you will ride
to hardship and danger
and like your father
you will be a ranger
Sleep, my child
like in a nest eagle
when the stars shine,
distant and regal
Sleep, gain more strength,
and courage and strong will
that you will need
to grow and fulfil
An Adventure- Bilbo x Reader Chpt. 11As Bilbo explored the halls and balconies of Rivendell he couldn’t help but be reminded of his cozy hobbit hole back in the Shire. There was a sense of peace in this elven refuge that called to mind all the things that he had been missing on the road and all the comforts of home. He had found a quiet place to look over the area when Elrond found him, “Not with your companions?”An Adventure- Bilbo x Reader Chpt. 111 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
“Ah…I shall not be missed.” Bilbo said with a little frown, looking up at the elf before further explaining, “The truth is that most of them don’t think I should be on this journey.”
“Indeed,” Elrond nodded, looking the Hobbit over before stating, “I’ve heard that Hobbits are very resilient.”
Bilbo scoffed and then realized he was serious, “Really?”
“I’ve also heard they are fond of the comforts of home,” Elrond continued, looking out at his kingdom once again.
Bilbo let out a soft chuckle before co
The Healer's Student-Fili X Reader-Chapter 1The Healer's Student-Fili X Reader-Chapter 11 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Note: This is a wraparound story to my other Fili X Reader, “Battle Wound?” If you have not yet read that one, feel free to go check it out. I’ve been told it’s very good.
"Blast it all! Wrong house again!"
You internally cursed to yourself as you stood at the door of the wrong hobbit hole, talking to the wrong hobbit, for the third time that evening.
You managed to keep your frustration concealed with a smile as you politely apologized to the gentleman hobbit who had answered the door. You then asked him where you would find the hobbit you were looking for, the one known as Bilbo Baggins.
“He lives at Bag-End. About five houses up that way.” He pointed down the path. You thanked him and turned to leave. As you turned, he scowled at you and muttered something indistinct, but you didn’t bother to find out what it was, because honestly you didn&
An Adventure- Bilbo x Reader Chpt. 16I don’t belong.An Adventure- Bilbo x Reader Chpt. 161 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
That was all Bilbo could think as he lay on the floor of the cave. The only thing keeping him here was you and you didn’t need him, it seemed so plainly obvious to him it was painful. It couldn’t have been further from the truth, Bilbo kept you from your own demons in a way that no one else could, but he didn’t see that so he’d made a decision. This was the end of the road for him, he wasn’t going to be a burden on any of you any more and he wasn’t cut out for the life of adventure- he was going back to Rivendell.
He waited for everyone to be asleep and then packed his things, pausing before walking out to look to you. You, Fili, and Kili had ended up in what could only be described as a pile with Kili’s head on your stomach and your legs across Fili’s chest. Fili was pulling Kili’s hair in his sleep and you had one hand thrown across Fili’s nose and mouth and the other shoving Kili’s face away as i
An Adventure- Bilbo x Reader Chpt. 10Was it too much to ask that you be allowed to sleep in?An Adventure- Bilbo x Reader Chpt. 101 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Yes of course it was.
Fili and Kili flew through your door with the rising sun, slowing to creep up on your sleeping form before jumping on your bed and nearly tossing you out of it. You were used to their rude awakenings by now and after an initial cry of shock, groaned and pulled the blankets over your head, “Why is it that you two rise with the sun and with just as much fire?”
They happily flopped down next to you, one on either side, “Wake up lass, daylight’s awasting.”
You swiftly kicked both of them off the bed and tumbling to the floor, “Then shoo while I change and after we will find some more amusing way to fill its hours.”
You were met with wide grins as they scrambled away to let you get ready. You rolled out of bed, stretching your muscles before running a hand over your wound, it was already healing nicely thanks to Elrond. Finding some clean clothes nearby, you grinned,
It's the Beard - Gloin x ReaderIt's the Beard - Gloin x Reader6 months ago in Humor More Like This
"Seriously? I was told that dwarves spring from holes in the ground because there is no dwarf women." You said, finally socializing with the rest of the company. All of you were sitting inside of a cave, taking one of your meals.
"Oh there is, but you do not see many of them" explained Balin.
"I can see that. This company, for example; I am the only woman here, and I am not even a dwarf" you said.
"I can understand your reasoning, (Y/n). But I assure you our race mates quite well, even though it is not often." said Thorin, slightly smirking.
"Although some make me almost support your theory of springing from holes in the ground..." Said Dwalin while glaring at the Durin brothers.
Ori began to laugh, snorting loudly at Dwalin's remarks. Kili narrowed his eyes, not amused at all.
"Hey, that was not nice! We have a mother!" protested Fili.
"Yes, and a very mouthy one. Which makes me glad I left her behind at the blue mountains." responded Thorin, knowing his sister all too wel
Give Me A Reason - Thorin x ReaderYou always committed yourself to your work in the mountains. This work that you pride yourself on is usually comprised of several tasks that vary each day, for example:Give Me A Reason - Thorin x Reader8 months ago in General Fiction More Like This
- Educating Fili and Kili when they dropped by;
- Watching over the forges; and
- Speaking with the King on behalf of your father, who created prototype armour for the army
Meeting Thorin Oakenshield wasn’t on that list but you always bumped into that handsome dwarf, so much so that falling in love with him was inevitable.
Today, you were only asked to present new weapon designs to the King and his council (which Thorin was part of) for the army. Usually, you despised short days in Erebor because it meant less time with Thorin, but you were ready to dismiss that negativity for today. Your mother would be arriving to see you in an hour!
Being an Elf, she worked and lived in Rivendell. Your dwarven father could not part from his life in Dale and so you were left to manage
For The Sake of Art - Ori x ReaderFor The Sake of Art - Ori x Reader6 months ago in Humor More Like This
"Was this your plan all along?" protested Thorin, when he realized Gandalf leaded them to Rivendell. He wanted nothing to do with the elves, but Gandalf didn't care. They argued for a moment while the rest of you kept walking into that magnificent place. It was certainly a breath taking view, with beautiful architecture. The first thing that got your sight was the waterfalls, followed up by the elven ornaments of the place. It had an ethereal aura about it.
Lord Elrond did not take long to arrive with the rest of his mounted guards. All of you were surrounded by horses in no time. Gandalf did all the talking and all of you were allowed in to join the elves for dinner. The entrancing instrumental music enamored your ears as you entered, while the rest of the company was disgusted. Thorin disappeared from sight, along with Gandalf and Lord Elrond, while the rest of you were accommodated by a short improvised table. You sat by Ori, who was very entertained making rapid traces on his journ
The Healer's Student-Fili X Reader-Chapter 11The Healer's Student-Fili X Reader-Chapter 111 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Reunion In Rivendell
"Gandalf, we have to go back." Fili said, desperately pleading with the wizard as the company crossed the bridge that lead into Rivendell. "We can't just leave (Y/N) behind with those Wargs, they'll kill her! We have to go back!"
Gandalf turned and looked down at the young dwarf as he gazed up at him, his eyes flashing with desperation and concern. Gandalf tried to comfort him with a smile. "I don't believe we have anything to worry about. (Y/N) should be just fine. The elves will take care of the Wargs. She will be safe in their hands. Don't you worry." With that, Gandalf turned and kept walking. Fili stopped and stared, his mind reeling and his heart pounding with fear at the thought of what could, or has happened to you. Not knowing was the worst part. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to find that it was Kili.
"Gandalf's right." Kili said. "The elves will save her."
"They will not help." Thorin muttered bitterly
Fili X Reader X Kili: RivalsFili X Reader X Kili: Rivals1 year ago in Romance More Like This
What does it take for two dwarf brothers to suddenly become rivals?
Not much it seems, just a smile from a beautiful young dwarf woman that gets thrown their way. That’s exactly what happened to Fili and Kili as soon as their quest to reclaim Erebor began.
You were that beautiful young dwarf woman. You had joined the company of Thorin Oakenshield as a last minute addition, having been invited by your old family friends Oin and Gloin. As soon as you walked into the small hobbit hole at Bag-end and introduced yourself to the company, neither Fili nor Kili could take their eyes off of you. By all accounts, you were very pretty, standing at about 4 foot 3 inches with (H/L), (H/C) hair, stunning (E/C) eyes and a smile that could melt the iciest of hearts. You didn’t really have any facial hair, or at least not a lot, but that didn’t really matter. Immediately, the two princes were smitten with you, and when the group set out on their journey the next morning, their attempt
Um, what?-Elrond X ReaderUm, what?-Elrond X Reader7 months ago in Humor More Like This
You wandered through the halls of Rivendell, admiring the scenery. The beauty of the Last Homely House was truly very captivating and you always found yourself wanting to just walk around and look at it. Many of the residents there noticed you constantly wandering around the hallways and pavilions of the elven house, always with a look of awe on your face. They wondered what it was about Rivendell that had you mesmerized. Most of them had grown up here and the sights were something that were not new to them.
But to you, they were new. And stunningly foreign.
Being human, you were not used to all this. Living with such extravagance as the elves were accustomed to was a privilege that you were denied while growing up. The home you lived in was simpler and more ragged than this. Humans usually didn't live in such rich conditions unless they were of royal blood, which you most certainly were not. Plus, this place was built by elves and was where elves resided, so of course it was ove
The Healer's Student-Fili X Reader-Chapter 8The Healer's Student-Fili X Reader-Chapter 81 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The dwarves were all freed from their bonds. As soon as he was free from the sack he was in, Fili ran over to you and started untying the ropes that restrained you. "Are you alright?" He asked.
"Well, other than the fact that I kind of smell like troll now, I'm fine." You said with a smirk. He smiled back at you. "Just so you know, I would never sell you guys out to anyone. Least of all to a bunch of dim-witted trolls."
"I know." He said with a smile.
"Well," You said. "It appears as though the others require my assistance. If you'll excuse me." You got up and went over to assist the other dwarves. The only one who was seriously injured in any way was Bombur, who had some cuts and bruises after being tossed by William. The rest of the dwarves, mainly the ones who were tied to the spit, had to be treated for some rope burns; nothing you couldn't handle. However, you had to get Oin to help you take care of poor Bofur, who somehow managed to get
An Adventure- Bilbo x Reader Chpt. 20When they reached the river a little less than an hour later, you were waiting diligently atop a tall rock with your chin rested on your bent knee while the your other leg dangled over the edge. You dropped down next to Gandalf when Thorin announced you would camp here for a while and then started wandering up river, prompting Fili to call, “Where are you headed, lass?”An Adventure- Bilbo x Reader Chpt. 201 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
You turned and gave him a lopsided grin, “To find a place to clean up away from the prying eyes of cheeky dwarves. If you value your life I suggest you do not follow.”
You continued on as Gandalf chuckled and Thorin tugged the ears of the two princes, who had grown twin mischievous smirks, ordering in a warning tone, “You will not follow her and if you defy me, do not expect me to rescue you from her wrath.”
“You may as well clean yourselves up to keep your minds off it, lads,” Balin grinned, motioning to the river as the other dwarves stripped down.
Moments later you coul
Say What? Thorin x ReaderYou were all tossed into prison cells. Thorin sat quietly wondering about how much time they had lost in their quest, Bofur narrated their pretty obvious situation, and you were shoved into a cell with Fili. You thought to take it as an opportunity to smother him with ‘motherly love’ since he and Kili were deprived of it on this journey but decided against it for now.Say What? Thorin x Reader8 months ago in General Fiction More Like This
“How long do you think we’ll be here?” Bofur wondered out loud. You walked around your cell door and sighed at the question,
“Longer than we’re supposed to.” You scoffed. Thorin wasn’t paying much attention to Bofur’s ramblings but he heard your retort and, mixed with his hate for elves and time running out, couldn’t help but respond rudely.
“If you’re implying that this is my fault…” he began in a forced tone of calm with the dwarves hushing their voices. You sat on the ground with your back against the cell door,
Mirkwood goes Wilde!Mirkwood goes Wilde!1 year ago in General Fiction More Like This
MIRKWOOD GOES WILDE!
A shameless Tolkien/Oscar Wilde crossover
A guard-room in the palace of the Elvenking. To the right, the cells. To the left, the banqueting-hall.
LEGOLAS gazing into the banqueting-hall
How fair is the lady Arwen tonight!
You should not look at her like that.
Noise from within the banqueting-hall.
The King holds his revels tonight.
They say he is fond of wine.
THE VOICE OF THORIN OAKENSHIELD from within the cells
We are the Dwarves of Erebor, and we have come to reclaim our homeland!
Who was that?
What is his name?
Whence came he?
From Ered Luin. A great multitude of fangirls was ever following him.
LEGOLAS gazing into the banqueting-hall
How fair is the lady Arwen t
ShiveringI only noticed the absence of the hobbit from around the campfire once Bombur had finished preparing dinner. I had been silently staring at the red fire that had been heating the food, deep in thought, and had only been brought back to the real world when I had been given a bowl of soup by Kili.Shivering2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"Uncle" He said as he handed it to me.
I silently thanked him and looked around, immediately looking around at the others, who were laughing and joking whilst eating dinner. Gandalf, Kili Fili, Bofur, Bofur, Bombur… they were all here, all except the Halfling. I started looking around, searching for him. Ever since what had happened a few days ago, him saying the why he hadn't gone back to his home and him saving me, I had been paying more attention to him and been more friendly towards him. Our relationship was changing, and that was evident for all. I couldn't help but to regret the way in which I had treated him before, and it almost was as if something inside me wanted to change that for so
I'll carry you-Bilbo X ReaderI'll carry you-Bilbo X Reader7 months ago in Romance More Like This
"Oh, blast it all! How many more of these are there going to be?!" Gloin shouted in exasperation.
Everyone else stopped and let out a groan when they saw what he was complaining about. Right in front of them was a large swamp; the third one they had encountered so far.
"Why in Durin's name did Gandalf have to send us down a path that had so many swamps?" Dwalin growled.
"Oh, come on. It's not that bad." You said positively. "At least we don't have to cross a raging river." The company all turned and stared at you. "What? We don't." You said when you saw the looks they were giving you.
"Well then, lass." Dwalin said. "If you're so eager to get wet, why don't you just wade in there and see how high the water is."
You looked at him. "Me? I did it the last two times. Why do I have to do it again?"
"Because.." Gloin said. "You're the only human in the company and, currently, the tallest member we have right now since Gandalf isn't here."
"And we don't want to risk one of our sho
Don't Disturb the Water Part 1The Company of Thorin Oakenshield was not but a few days outside of the Shire when the midsummer’s heat began to take a toll on them. The sun’s radiation would turn each of the dwarves’ heavy coats into ovens by high noon each day. Poor Bilbo Baggins was dripping with sweat as well. The heat was so excruciating that the ponies were beginning to slow down, and Gandalf was beginning to notice.Don't Disturb the Water Part 12 years ago in Romance More Like This
Then one scorching afternoon, a very weary Kili noticed something in the distance. He was wiping the thick beads of sweat from his forehead and strands of sticky brown hair from his eyes when he saw a glimmer in the distance through the thick trees. He pulled his pony off of the dirt trail the Company was following so that he could get a good look at what he saw. As he peered closer through the trees, he spotted sparkling streams of falling water. Fili, who was just as weary as Kili, had been following him very close when he noticed Kili pull off to the side of the trail. He, too,