Red ScreamsSmiling at me, shiny silver teeth
Begging my wrist
For one chaste
Grinning at me, that evil smirk
Making my heart pound
So sharp so
I know I
And really I
Arm’s too full of blood
From attempts to
Join the stars.
Photo album of
My diary of my
I am still
Orphanage - PhanOrphanage - Phan2 years ago in Scraps More Like This
“Boys, get into your beds and listen up!” Her shrill voice called. I rolled my eyes, but clambered into my bed anyways, knowing what would happen if I didn't. As I waited for the twelve other boys to do the same, I lifted the covers and crawled inside, quickly pulling the blankets back over myself. Mrs. Morgan let her hawk-eye gaze travel the room, settling on each boy for a second before traveling to the next. This made the one’s who weren't in their bed yet dive onto their mattresses, cuddling into their blankets faster than I had. When her eyes rested on me, I swear she glared even more, if it’s possible.
See, I guess Mrs. Morgan hates me a lot, more than any of the others. I mean, she hates us all a lot, doesn't even attempt to hide it, but I am her number one star to pick on. I can honestly say that I have no clue why. Even if I were told to guess, I wouldn't be able to. I haven’t caused much trouble, not nearly as much as some of the others. I’
Phan - What You've BecomePhil's P.O.VPhan - What You've Become2 years ago in Scraps More Like This
I remembered as we sat there on the couch, Dan's eyes focused on the television, my eyes focused on him, how things used to be between us. We were the adorable couple everyone longed to be like. We had the cute, fluffy relationship that was usually only found in fairy tales or fanfictions. Life was going really well for us, for a while. And then it happened - the thing that made our relationship fall apart.
He hit me. Even to this day, I don't understand why he did it. But after it happened once, it was a recurring thing.
We'd been leaning against the railing of the stairs up to our flat the first time it happened. He had been feeling really, really down. I'd wanted to help him, because we were a couple and we were supposed to face our problems together. I could see how badly he was hurting, and that hurt me too. I told him that as well - I told him how it made my heart ache to see how depressed he was feeling.
And then he just hit me. It wasn't that bad of a punch, rea
Phan - DesperatenessA/N: 'Seed' by The Academy Is... seriously inspired this, so check it out if you wanna c: Thanks for reading!Phan - Desperateness2 years ago in Scraps More Like This
"What did you say?" Dan asked, looking at me with wide eyes. We were sitting on the couch in the living room, less than a foot away from each other. I'd been feeling depressed, and I had nothing to lose by telling Dan how I felt. I was already at my lowest point, how much farther could I go?
Bipolar was an illness I just couldn't beat. They gave me various medications and treatments for it, I saw a therapist once a week, I did everything that they told me to do, but it never got any better. I wanted someone to tell me that things would be okay. I wanted someone who could put up with my constant mood swings. In other words, I wanted Dan.
"You heard me. I love you, Dan." I was far from myself. I was usually so shy and reserved, but the feelings I had for Dan were weighing me down so much. He'd say something that was 'meaningless' and it'd leave me breathl
To MCR fans and Gerard WayTo the fansTo MCR fans and Gerard Way3 years ago in Scraps More Like This
Ok, I'm sick of this. I don't even know where to begin, I'll just go to the point. Being a fan doesn't mean you have to know it all about the band, it doesn't mean that you know every single word to Life On The Murder Scene and to every god damned song. Being a fan doesn't mean you have gone to all of their concerts, and that you have photographs with them. Being a fan doesn't mean that all your walls are completely covered with posters of the band, and that you have their Killjoys jackets, MCR toys, MCR blankets, MCR pillows, it doesn't fucking mean that.
Being a fan means that you love not only their music but the meaning behind them, but mainly, being a fan means that you're loyal to the band without even knowing them personally. It means that when you know they have a problem, you get worried for them even if you don't know them, even if they don't know you. It means that when they are sad, you get sad even if they don't know you, even if you don'
Phan - Even The Truth Is Wrong Sometimes...A/N: Guess the P.O.V in the comments!Phan - Even The Truth Is Wrong Sometimes...2 years ago in Scraps More Like This
"I'm dying." You told me from your hospital bed. I was sitting on the edge of the chair beside you. Up close, your skin was so much paler and yellowish than it normally was. You looked so weak. Even so, you were smiling when I came in to visit you.
"What?" I'd asked in disbelief. You couldn't be dying; you were the reason I wasn't dead. And if you were going to die, what would that mean for me? My depression never seemed to get better, even with the pills. But you were always there with open arms, and that was enough I guess.
"I'm dying. I have cancer." You smiled, your lips chapped and gray. When you said that, it was like my whole world started to crumble apart. I wasn't even the one dying. You were everything to me, even if I never showed it. I was so grateful to you, for everything. Everything that I was doing in life, it was all because of you. And to think that you'd be leaving me...well, I just couldn't deal with it.
i have the right not to give excuses or reasonsi am not going toi have the right not to give excuses or reasons3 years ago in Scraps More Like This
i am no ocean tide,
ebbing and flowing
over the sands of us,
and your approval-
of what i am
is not needed.
you do not
need to know
why i am hurt,
why we do not speak,
or why i still love you.
you do not
need to understand
(the way the moon
does its stars)
why i feel and ache
and show this on
my skin and bone.
of keeping you away,
of creating distance
more than the miles
the power i hold
between my teeth
and i burrow
like scarab beetles in the sand
i cannot wait
and not feel