Legacy of Ruin, Chapter 7: Scars That Remain (P1)"I want to know who fired that shot, and I want to know it now!"
Shouting was painful. Llorrin could feel blood tickling out of his wounds, making his bandages wet and sticky. Their irritating touch only served to rile his anger further.
Llorrin paced back and forth behind his desk, staring his subjects down. He couldn't recall having ever been this beside himself. The looks he was given told him his companions were as alienated by his anger as he was, but there was nothing he could do to help it. Chuth, Irewyth and Wheann all stared at him as though they no longer recognized him, and he was certain Carekon would have done the same if he were here. The only one who didn't seem to care was Jeredan, but that didn't come as a surprise. The bastard could count himself lucky Llorrin had more important things to do than having him be thrown overboard for disobeying orders.
It didn't come as a surprise that Chuth was the first to open his mouth.
"I'm tellin' ya son, Cap'n Adane'
Welcome!Proofreading and Editing for LiteratureWelcome!3 years ago in Personal More Like This
Hello there, my name is Ed and I work as a proofreader of prose literature here on deviantART. I've been editing short stories and novels for many years, but have only recently discovered how many pieces there are uploaded to dA. So far, I've critiqued over 200 pieces.
I will critique:
I will not critique:
-Fan fiction (unless I've been contacted and I know of the subject)
Here are a few examples of my work:
Betwixt His Study Part I by !sherlockholmes34
The Nova Series: Rift ch. 1 by ~SeventhRain
TSD - One by *XRosewaterX
Read Stories/Poems, then Publish Your OwnHello, I'm Jochannon; I've been publishing online on-and-off for about four years; I'm strictly amateur, but if you want to publish your work professionally then tell me: I can help.Read Stories/Poems, then Publish Your Own3 years ago in Personal More Like This
IF you are below the age of eighteen, I urge you to have a parent or guardian read this with you.
WHAT I'M DOING
Every week I publish original stories, poetry, and art, and email them to my subscribers.
I also publish comics, manga, cartoons and visual stories of all sorts: http://fanaticalpublishing.deviantart.com/journal/Publishing-Manga-Comics-Graphic-Novels-Artbooks-326968282
I will take literature and art from any genre, except fan fiction.
No limit on the length of poetry or stories, but this is a MAGAZINE; if you want to publish a novel, it better be as a serial.
No limit on the dimensions of art, but the format of the magazine means that pictures that are tall and narrow will be displayed better.
The rights of a
A sad little dragon (working title)Some time ago, a blue dragon with green horns hatched out of a blue egg with green spots. He had a very big family, with lots of uncles, aunts, and many cousins. But he only had one sister; a purple dragon with red horns. The little blue dragon also had a Papa and a Momma, both of whom he loved very much.A sad little dragon (working title)9 months ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
But when the blue dragon was only beginning to learn to walk on his chubby little legs, his Momma dragon got sick. It wasn't a sickness you could see, like the measles or the chickenpox. Momma dragon changed, in a very scary way. She was angry, and mean to the other dragons. And one day, when the little blue dragon woke up, his momma was gone. All of the adults were very sad, especially Papa dragon.
"Where is Momma?" Asked the little blue dragon.
"She flew away, little dragon." Papa said.
"Where did she go?" Asked the little blue dragon.
"To a place very far away, where little dragons can never fly to."
The little blue dragon never saw his momma again. And he was sad.
Years went by, a
To Pee, or not to Pee?To pee, or not to pee: That is the question:To Pee, or not to Pee?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Wether tis better for the wise to wait
and pee inside a toilet,
or to take immediate action against the urinal urge
by the dropping of trow to end it. To pee, to leak,
to piss...and by a piss to say we end
the pelvic aching flesh is heir to.
Tis a relief often to be wished. To pee, to wizz,
to hold no more. But in that sweet release
who knows what peeps may show?
When we stand pissing in the field what eyes might spy.
Ay, there's the rub that makes conflict of such simple a problem...
Chronicles of Alganoria prologue : Snow and deathChronicles of Alganoria :Chronicles of Alganoria prologue : Snow and death1 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Chapter 1 :
The castle of Northgate , in the shire of Northfolk
“Ah God , this place is the most boring of the whole shire !” sighed Berin , while he idly supported on the parapet .
But in fact , he didn't regret his situation at all because the castle of Northgate was the safest place for a soldier except if boredom can kill …
“Berin , a missive just arrived ! shouted Sicebert , one of his mate .
“ My watch isn't finished and I want to be payed so wait !”
“Dude , nobody cares about your watch , the captain just asked everyone to come to the mess”
“Why ? The pay is arrived ?” said Berin , suddenly more interested .
“I don't know but I don't think so . The pay is supposed to arrived in 10 days and you know that they are often late but never in advance . Oh , and I forgot it comes from the capital city ”
Modern Family"You know what you are, son? Lazy, that's what! When's the last time you shot someone?"Modern Family2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Eros sat impassively in front of his PS3, thumbing the controller at godly speed, while his father, Ares, was fuming by his side.
"Ares, dear, you know how he is," his mother said peaceably, placing a large bowl of popcorn on the table. "He'll do it when he feels ready."
Ares was a bit of a workaholic. He maintained his athletic physique though hours of grueling training every day, and he made damn sure there was at least one war somewhere in the world at all times, to keep himself busy. His son Eros, on the other hand, had always been the pudgy, lazy type. Several thousand years ago, when he was a blond, curly, cute little baby, that might have worked for him. But for a god several thousand years old to be still living with his mother and playing video games, that was a bit of a let down. Of course, he took after his mother, Aphrodite, who was notorious for spending most of her time in bed... usual
A necromancer , 2 heroes , a lot of problems1 nécromancien , 2 héros , beaucoup de problèmes :A necromancer , 2 heroes , a lot of problems1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
Archon se releva avec peine du pentacle où il s'était assis quelques heures auparavant. Ces derniers temps, il lui semblait être plus faible.
Inquiet, il regarda le cristal rouge qui flottait au milieu de la pièce. Ce bref coup d’œil confirma ses craintes, le cristal où était enfermée son énergie vitale était intacte.
Il lui fallait avancer plus vite dans ses recherches car le temps jouait contre lui.
Sous l'effet du stress, il porta la main à sa joue brûlé et caressait l'os en se rappelant qu'il avait déjà survécu à pire.
Mais il fut brusquement tiré de sa méditation par les battements d’ailes d'un corbeau. Le corvidé se posa sur un des crânes qui délimitait le pentacle et y picora un bout de chair.
Puis , il se décida enfi
Fort Boarkeep's storyThe battle was raging for nearly two hours : the Human of Purpurian defending Fort Boarkeep against the Dark Legion. A dozen of years before, it would have been a great battle with many skulls to smash and plenty of loot to amass. Both sides had been sacrificing hundreds of lives for the control of Fort Boarkeep, which allowed its owner to block the traffic on the Slelf River. But now, both sides have new objectives and they began to devote less and less men to the control of this fort. Currently, it was under Purpurian's rule but their officer , Beltran Menor, didn't seem that happy ...Fort Boarkeep's story4 months ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"First and second battalion ! Get around them ! yelled Beltran as one of his men began to wave a black flag.
- Erm ... Sir , you forgot to say the direction ? said one of his lieutenant.
- What direction ? There is a river on their right, I don't need to say the ...
But he stopped his sentence when he saw some soldiers diving into the river to go around the enemies.
- Well, tell the
The Good Critic's GuideThe Good Critic's Guide:The Good Critic's Guide2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
I have noticed that many critics on DA tend to leave rather harsh and sometimes subjective critiques on the pages of the artists being critiqued. Their rationale for doing so is based on the concept that 'we shouldn't molly-coddle each other and instead "tell it like it is"'. However this type of critique reflects poorly on one who is critiquing as opposed to the one who is being critiqued and I will explain why throughout the course of this guide. In essence I hope to use this resource as a way of teaching potential critics how to properly focus their abilities and direct their critiques in a manner that will allow them to be rated as a good critic.
Note: Before reading on, take note that this guide is only for literary works as I have no experience judging visual art and therefore cannot create a rating scale for those.
II. The Purpose of a Critique:
The first question that we must ask ourselves is this: "Why does an individu
Bog and the Childrens of Bog ContestEDIT: Today last day for the submissions!Bog and the Childrens of Bog Contest1 year ago in Personal More Like This
in case you hadn't time to complete your submission, send me a note and I can give additional time until sunday 6. But send a note for that, or otherwise you wouldn't be given the additional time
Unrelated: Almost 4000 deviations and Scraps! "Item 4000" is coming!!
My fellow deviants!
As announced long time ago, I wanted to host now a Contest, related not only to my universe / fantasy world setting as before, but now as well related to a specific character: Bog, the Barbarian both here and in my group, :iconworld-of-aiers:.
The contest, which will have as a final date for the submissions the 4 July 2014, will be related as said with Bog the Barbarian, and the so called "Bog Spawn" or the children of Bog.
But: Who is Bog?
Bog is half human elf dwarf ogre ozcura giant demon werewolf dragonborn Centaur Loranor well, half something barbarian adventurer:
Legacy of Ruin, Prologue: Hunter and PreyThe monotone beating of the axes resounded through the woods. Elduin could hear it well. The sounds of steel on bark and splintering wood seemed to enter his ears and seep through the core of his being. He endured it like physical pain, like the axes were striking into his body instead. The Greenskins who had killed Cenarius, they still had the audacity to come into their woods and cause even more mayhem. Elduin grit his teeth as the grip on his staff slowly tightened. The pain was slowly becoming unbearable. The druid's amber eyes searched the trees and he tried to concentrate on something different than the woodcutting orcs in the distance. He failed.Legacy of Ruin, Prologue: Hunter and Prey3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Elduin experienced a seldom loss of patience. It was an uncommon experience for a timeless being like him to lose his patience, but ever since the death of Cenarius, he was becoming more and more prone to it. Where in Elune's name was Ishrien? The renegade sentinel was supposed to have returned by now. This wasn't like her. She was one
Beast and Goblin-Elf GirlA Beast Person and His Goblin-Elf GirlBeast and Goblin-Elf Girl4 years ago in Settings More Like This
Story based on creations of Shabazik. Takes place in the world of Aiers.
The wild elf girl sat on the ground in front of the dwindling, guttering fire on the plains of Antor, her beast-friend curled behind her. It was hard to gather even bits of wood easily. There were scattered trees over the plain, but were most often dwarfed and withered by the arid land and winds. That meant that the old twigs found underneath of them were few as well--and burned far too quickly.
Only by the rivers would trees be found tall and in abundance. But the young elf was an escaped slave--she could not remain by the rivers for long if she wished to avoid being captured by someone who might wish to gain a slave for nothing? The iron collar about her neck assured that anyone who saw her would know her for an escaped slave from someone. The iron collar being a ubiqui