TES - Why does the Dunmer cross the road jokeWhy does the Dunmer cross the road?TES - Why does the Dunmer cross the road joke2 years ago in Humor More Like This
We pretend to have interviewed some eminent minds in order to answer this question.
If the Dunmer walks five miles in one hour it will take him precisely two seconds and a third of a second to cross the road.
The road is one-way only and I await at the end of it.
Hmm, I like nasty Dunmers...
We all have to cross the road to open our mind to more knowledge but shall not step away from the path of wisdom.
The Dunmer goes where the wind blows and no road will tell him where to walk.
He must be looking for some fertile grounds to plant some seeds...
Luck may be found at every crossroad... or not!
Surely this is one more questing Dunmer adventurer, may his courage be rewarding.
Roads were made to be followed or crossed, the Dunmer deals the road his own way.
Wondrous plains of green grass, and may the moths pass.
What's the point of making up some plot if
An Orphan's Tale 6: Lost ChildhoodAn Orphan's Tale 6: Lost Childhood3 years ago in Drama More Like This
The first leg of the trip back to Whiterun was rough because it rained in the morning and they had to deal with a group of bandits that afternoon. Selene was in a lot of pain, her shoulder hurting so badly at times that she had to stop and remove her outer armor to relieve the pressure against her skin. By suppertime they were exhausted, but they had eaten nothing but rations for a couple of days and wanted something more substantial, so they set up camp and went hunting. They found a deer not far from camp. They crouched behind a boulder, and Selene nocked an arrow.
"I should have brought a bow," Vilkas whispered with frustration.
"It's all right. I'll kill it if you'll cut it up and cook it."
Selene stood slowly, ignoring the pain in her shoulder as she aimed and shot, and she took the deer down with one arrow. She removed its antlers while Vilkas skinned the animal and cut into its ribs.
"Why do you take the antlers?" he asked.
"I didn't know you were a
A Nightingale's Tale 1: SidetrackedA Nightingale's Tale 1: Sidetracked2 years ago in Drama More Like This
Honorhall Orphanage. It had seemed so much bigger when Selene was a child. That was the way of things. The older she got, the smaller the world became. Old Grelod wouldn't look so big, either. She'd be stooped, her bones brittle with age, palsy sending terrible shivers in her bony hands. Selene wouldn't even have to use a blade. She could probably break the matron's neck with her bare hands.
But no. That was not why she was in Riften. She had made her choice, and she was going to stand by it. At least for the time being, Grelod the Kind would live. The decision had been for her benefit, not Grelod's; the desire for revenge was such a heavy burden to carry around. She wasn't an angry adolescent anymore. She was a grown woman, and a hero at that, although she hated the word. The old witch hadn't ruined Selene's life; she had shaped it, no matter how harshly. She wouldn't be where she was today if not for Grelod.
Thus, she turned her gaze away from the orphanage and walked up the stairs t
Skyrim Valentines Day PoemBlood Dragons are greenSkyrim Valentines Day Poem3 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Some orcs are too
I'd lockpick every lock
and gives the items to you.
I'd slay every dragon,
Id give you my gold,
I'd kill every foresworn,
I'll always be yours to hold.
I'd forge all your armor,
I would sharpen your blad
I'd tighten your bow,
I'd save you from every bandit raid.
FUS RO DA baby!
Have a superb Valentines Day!
Out of Place: Ch 1 - The Beginning pt 1Out of Place: Ch 1 - The Beginning pt 13 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Out of Place
A Skyrim Fanfic Series
Chapter 1 (Feb 9, 2012)
Fredas, 20th of Sun's Dusk, 4E 201
(November 19th, 2011)
It was early June. The 6th, I think. At the time I'm writing this, the date is a bit fuzzy. I wish I would have started writing down my accounts early on, but considering the circumstances, I didn't really have any way to do so.
Anyway. I was staring out the window of my new bedroom. The sun was high in the sky, so it was sometime just after 12, maybe 2-ish. I wasn't used to living on my own. I somehow managed to find a small house in the country area. It isn't that easy to find the perfect small house, fit for one person, out in the country. I'm just not fond of living in the city with an apartment complex. For a single woman, it just isn't smart. Call me traditional, but I'd sooner have a man around, even if I'm fairly capable. Sure, I know how to shoot a gun pretty well, but what happens if some intruder has one? But I'm work
The List, 1 - 100The List, 1 - 1006 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
1. Sneaking into peoples rooms and watching them sleep is not an appropriate use of Invisibility.
2. Chancellor Ocato does not appreciate hearing about how soft his robes are and/or how much I want a set of my own.
3. It is considered bad taste to kill people and then arrange their bodies into compromising positions.
4. It is worse taste to do so in the following places: The Temple District, any of the chapels, any of the castles, or in the middle of Green Emperor Way.
5. Lucien did not give me Shadowmere so that I could board her at Chestnut Handy Stables for the sole purpose of seeing if shell eat the Orc.
6. Stealing all of the Blades armor and throwing it over the wall of Cloud Ruler Temple is not nice, as it is cold up there.
7. The two Blades who do nothing but spar all day are not suffering from unrequited sexual frustration.
8. I am not allowed to give Falanu Hlaalu directions to every necromancer cave in Cyrodiil.
9. Jauffre is not old enough to h
Funny moments in Skyrim"You, over there. The one lurking in the shadows."Funny moments in Skyrim3 years ago in Humor More Like This
"Me? I'm not lurking..." *as I un-crouch and walk out of the shadows*
"I have a job I think you would excel at."
"Uh, okay...what's the job?"
"There is a man here in Markarth, Ogmund the Skald. It is obvious he worships Talos in his home, but the Jarl has been hesitant to call for his arrest. I want you to break into his house and find evidence."
"So you want me to commit a crime to get someone else arrested?"
"That is correct."
"I'm supposed to let you exchange one of your armor pieces for a more enhanced one. What'll it be?"
"Hm...I think I'll trade in my cuirass."
"Are you sure? Once you trade it in, it's a done deal."
"*snickers* Okay, here you go."
*cue raucous laughter*
"What? What's everybody laughing at? *looks down*"
"YOU COULD HAVE LET ME CHANGE ON MY OWN, TONILIA!!"
*runs off to get dressed*
"It takes a bold soul to approach a Jarl without summons."
"Who me? I wasn't, a
How We Became Lovers (Merome) Part 3"M-mitch?!" Jerome couldnt believe his eyes, this was the first time in 5 years he's seen his Best Friend. Most Importantly, why was he here?How We Became Lovers (Merome) Part 32 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"You heard me! Leave him alone!" Mitch said and walked up, face to face with the bullys picking on Jerome.
"HAAHA! ANOTHER FRESHMEN! Hah.. what are you going to do about i-" The bully stopped speeking when Mitch pulled out a stone axe and held it by his side.
Jerome flinched, this was the real deal.. that was an actual axe.
"F-FINE! WE DIDNT CARE ANYWAYS!" The Bully said and marched off with the other two.
Quickly Jerome run hugged Mitch, Jerome wiping his tears away."M-MITCH! I-i missed you so much why are you-"
"well my parents moved back. oh jerome im so glad to see you- and guess what! after highschool, my mom said i could go off in the world by myself, and have an adventure! i want you to be part of my adventure!"He said.
Jerome only just smiled and Mitch kn
DEAD INSIDE: Chapter 25: Stay With MeChapter 25:DEAD INSIDE: Chapter 25: Stay With Me5 months ago in General Fiction More Like This
July 18th, 6:27pm
Amy Rose’s point of view:
I quickly run to Sonic’s side and scoop his shaking body into my arms. “Sonic! Sonic, love…please. Stay calm!” I tell him between sobs.
His chest is heaving and his breaths are stuttering. Yet, he opens his eyes and looks up at me, smiling. “Ame’s…don’t w-worry about me…I’m..I-I’m…okay…”
I press a finger to his lips, shushing him. He softly kisses my finger and nuzzles his face against my hand.
A nurse runs to my side. “He’s going to have to go to surgery,” she tells me, “The bullet may be close to his lung.”
A tear falls from my eye as I lock eyes with my hero. All he can do is smile, then he spoke, “I’m gonna be okay…”
“We don’t have time for this Sonic! You were just about to tell us to leave and escape because Robotnik has taken over the city…
ASFCANADIAN/MEROME SWAG!S.W.A.G.ASFCANADIAN/MEROME SWAG!2 years ago in Romance More Like This
"That's not fair!I should've won!I only had,like,three hearts!"Jerome was ranting on about how he should've one the PvP match.Mitch was only grinning and giggling at his friend's anger.True,he had low health,but he should've paid more attention when he was coming.
"It's not my fault you suck at PvP."Mitch said,the smirk on his face could be heard through his voice."Shut up Mitch,I don't suck,Preston does."Jerome folded his arms and huffed.
His actions made Mitch giggle even more.Jerome could be so childish at times.But,he's interesting that way."Whatever,Preston (Perston :L) does suck a PvP,but you do too."Mitch swirled in his chair and grinned wider."I was low on hearts!I already told you that!"Jerome's attitude was what interested him the most.All his emotions made him fall for his best friend.He never noticed this,though.It didn't make Jerome dense,Mitch just hid it well is all."It's not my fault that I have swag and you don't."Mitch's smile widened even
Skyrim: The Thief Chpt. 1Chapter 1 PrologueSkyrim: The Thief Chpt. 13 years ago in Settings More Like This
Noster Eagle-Eye leaned against his regular post as the cold night air scratched at his exposed skin, his only rags not providing the insulation needed. Letting out a disgruntled sigh, he watched as his breath was revealed right in front of him, almost like a dragon's smoke. This was normal though, ever since he'd started living on the streets, he'd gotten accustomed with the harsh downsides of having no roof over your head. But the sound of the main gate opening caught his attention, making him forget about the weather for a couple of seconds. Looking towards the gate, he watched as a figure entered, shrouded in a black cloak, their head covered by a hood of the same darkness. Once the stranger had closed the gate, he started making his way towards The Winking Skeever. However, before he reached the front door, Noster let out a small cough, causing the stranger's head to quickly turn to face him. Both worried and confused, Noster watched as the stranger made
I Will Find You PrologueJUST A PROLOGUE IF PEOPLE LIKE IT THEN I WILL MAKE THE NEXT CHAPTER AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I AM WRITING WITH CAPS ON and i have been having the worst day ever i just got P.E and my couch woofs like a dog I MEAN IM THE DOG I BARK GROWL AND LOOK AT THE DOOR WHEN SOMEONE KNOCKS AND I NOTICE WHEN I HEAR A NOISE THAT OTHERS CHOSE TO IGNORE!!!anyway hope you enjoy i kinda get carried away anyway i might make another chapter if people like itI Will Find You Prologue1 year ago in Settings More Like This
Sky's POV (because for some reason i feel like it would be more dramatic)
3 years since we were friends.
3 years since we've seen each other.
And 3 months since he's been missing.
Just last month Jason went missing.And a week after that Mitch and Seto went missing at the same time.
Deadlox was heartbroken when he found out.He wouldn't come out of his room since that day.The only time he would come out is for breakfast,watch,or to train.Since Deadlox,Jerome,and Brice
An Orphan's Tale 10: PilgrimageAn Orphan's Tale 10: Pilgrimage2 years ago in Drama More Like This
Lydia came back a few minutes after Vilkas had left and knelt by Selene. "By the eight, what happened?"
"Lydia, could you take some fresh water up to my room for me?"
"Did Vilkas do that to your face?"
"I really don't want to talk about it."
"As you wish, my Thane."
When Lydia came back with water, Selene went upstairs, undressed and washed up. Her left eye throbbed and her vision was fuzzy, and when she looked in the mirror she saw that it was swelling shut and a terrible bruise was forming on her cheek. Vilkas had hit her hardin more ways than one. She put on a clean dress and lay on the bed, trying to blot out the day's events, but they bombarded her mind relentlessly. The Silver Hand had attacked and taken the fragments. Kodlak was dead. Vilkas had struck her.
Vilkas had struck her.
She'd been hit by guys before. She was a warrior, for Kyne's sake; she fought all the time. But this was different. It wasn't some bandit or a thug in a bar picking a fight; it was Vilkas.
SkyrimThe wind was cold and heavy, and when I blinked I could feel frost in my eyelashes. Tears were running down my cheeks, but when I tried to wipe them away, they were already frozen.Skyrim3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
In front of me laid a harsh winter landscape. As I took a step forward the snow crunched under my feet. I stopped once more, in an attempt to distinguish the shapes hidden by the snowstorm. I couldn't even see the horizon. Everything was just white.
Shivering, I kept on walking, every step felt as heavy as a wagon load. I clenched my teeth and forced myself forward, in hope for civilization somewhere beyond the blur. That was when I heard the roar, it pierced through everything, and for a moment I forgot the cold. This was a roar I recognized. I turned my eyes towards the sky, but nothing could be seen through the blizzard.
I reached for my sword as the sound of beating wings closed in on me.
Myths of SheogorathSheogorath Invents MusicMyths of Sheogorath7 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
In the earliest of days, in a time when the world was still raw, Sheogorath decided to walk amongst the mortals. He donned his guise of Gentleman With a Cane, and moved from place to place without being recognized. After eleven days and eleven nights, Sheogorath decided that life among mortals was even more boring than his otherworldly existence.
"What can I do to make their lives more interesting?" he said to himself. At that same moment, a young woman nearby commented wistfully to herself, "The sounds of the birds are so beautiful."
Sheogorath silently agreed with her. Mortals could not make the beautiful and inspired calls of birds. Their voices were wretched and mundane. He could not change the nature of mortals, for that was the purview of other Daedric Princes. However, he could give them tools to make beautiful sounds.
Sheogorath took hold of the petulant woman and ripped her asunder. From her tendons he made lutes. From her skull and arm bones he made a
Pre-Cure for MadnessResearch and rigging done for travel time from the Falkreath Sanctuary to the Dawnstar Sanctuary. 250mi marker still in effect.Pre-Cure for Madness3 years ago in Settings More Like This
Cicero's flight from Sanctuary to Sanctuary.
Test one: Set Timescale to 1 (real time) > Fast Travel from Falkreath to Dawnstar.
Left Falkreath Sanctuary: Morndas, 7:31 AM
Arrived Dawnstar Sanctuary: Morndas, 8:14 AM
Results: No time passes logically on Fast Travel. Test must be physically run. Insufficient data.
Test two: Set Timescale to 1 (real time) > On Horseback, travel from Falkreath to Dawnstar.
Left Falkreath Sanctuary: Morndas, 8:15 AM
Whiterun checkpoint: Morndas, 8:21 AM
Arrived at Dawnstar Sanctuary: Morndas, 8:25 AM
Results: Fifteen minutes of travel time on horseback in real time. Insufficient data.
Test three: Set Timescale to 20 (in game time) > Apply old formula > Horseback from Falkreath to Dawnstar.
Left Falkreath Sanctuary: Morndas, 9:15 AM
MinecraftUniverse: The Light Within The DarknessDo you know what the void is? You know, the dark, horrifying and mysterious mass below bedrock. I like to think of it as a black hole. But, what happens if you fall into it? Do you get stuck in limbo, and just keep falling for eternity? Do you fall until you die, and will your body just float around in the void? Do you get teleported to another world? No one knows, since no one has ever returned to tell. All of those people who fell into it, just got swallowed by the darkness, only to never return.MinecraftUniverse: The Light Within The Darkness2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
I’m sometimes worried. As I said, I like to think of the void as a never-ending black hole. I’ve been in space so many times. So… What would happened if I got swallowed by a black hole? Something tells me that I would be ripped into pieces.
But, if I went into space with my dear animal friends, Jeffrey and Dillon, and they got caught in a black hole… Would they ever return? Would they respawn back at my house? Or, would they be gone forever?
When I think about my fr