TES - Why does the Dunmer cross the road jokeWhy does the Dunmer cross the road?TES - Why does the Dunmer cross the road joke3 years ago in Humor More Like This
We pretend to have interviewed some eminent minds in order to answer this question.
If the Dunmer walks five miles in one hour it will take him precisely two seconds and a third of a second to cross the road.
The road is one-way only and I await at the end of it.
Hmm, I like nasty Dunmers...
We all have to cross the road to open our mind to more knowledge but shall not step away from the path of wisdom.
The Dunmer goes where the wind blows and no road will tell him where to walk.
He must be looking for some fertile grounds to plant some seeds...
Luck may be found at every crossroad... or not!
Surely this is one more questing Dunmer adventurer, may his courage be rewarding.
Roads were made to be followed or crossed, the Dunmer deals the road his own way.
Wondrous plains of green grass, and may the moths pass.
What's the point of making up some plot if
A Nightingale's Tale 1: SidetrackedA Nightingale's Tale 1: Sidetracked3 years ago in Drama More Like This
Honorhall Orphanage. It had seemed so much bigger when Selene was a child. That was the way of things. The older she got, the smaller the world became. Old Grelod wouldn't look so big, either. She'd be stooped, her bones brittle with age, palsy sending terrible shivers in her bony hands. Selene wouldn't even have to use a blade. She could probably break the matron's neck with her bare hands.
But no. That was not why she was in Riften. She had made her choice, and she was going to stand by it. At least for the time being, Grelod the Kind would live. The decision had been for her benefit, not Grelod's; the desire for revenge was such a heavy burden to carry around. She wasn't an angry adolescent anymore. She was a grown woman, and a hero at that, although she hated the word. The old witch hadn't ruined Selene's life; she had shaped it, no matter how harshly. She wouldn't be where she was today if not for Grelod.
Thus, she turned her gaze away from the orphanage and walked up the stairs t
DEAD INSIDE: Chapter 25: Stay With MeChapter 25:DEAD INSIDE: Chapter 25: Stay With Me10 months ago in General Fiction More Like This
July 18th, 6:27pm
Amy Rose’s point of view:
I quickly run to Sonic’s side and scoop his shaking body into my arms. “Sonic! Sonic, love…please. Stay calm!” I tell him between sobs.
His chest is heaving and his breaths are stuttering. Yet, he opens his eyes and looks up at me, smiling. “Ame’s…don’t w-worry about me…I’m..I-I’m…okay…”
I press a finger to his lips, shushing him. He softly kisses my finger and nuzzles his face against my hand.
A nurse runs to my side. “He’s going to have to go to surgery,” she tells me, “The bullet may be close to his lung.”
A tear falls from my eye as I lock eyes with my hero. All he can do is smile, then he spoke, “I’m gonna be okay…”
“We don’t have time for this Sonic! You were just about to tell us to leave and escape because Robotnik has taken over the city…
Sick Day“Don't be ridiculous, Listener.” Cicero scolded gently.Sick Day2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
“Bud I haff to...” I began, without really knowing what I had to do.
“Seriously.” said Babette, “The best thing you can do is stay in bed, for now.”
I was in the Dawnstar Sanctuary, and my fellow assassins were forcing to make me stay in b, which was making me angry. Every time I tried to sit up, the two of them would push me down.
“Id's just a fever.” I sniffed, “Id's dot like I'm dying.”
“The Listener needs to stay in bed.” Cicero said.
“Bud dere work to be done.” I insisted.
“Let someone else do it.” Babette said, exasperated.
I scowled at her and wiped my nose on a cloth she gave me, and she smirked. Cicero was wriggling excitedly behind her.
“Unfortunately,” Babette went on. “I am all out of ingredients for a potion of cure disease, and so is the woman in Dawnstar. So, until your fever breaks, you'll h
Live and Let Die Chapter 8Astrid's eyes narrowed before she had a relaxed expression. Smiling, she looked up from the paper. Her eyes were sparkling with delight.Live and Let Die Chapter 83 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"As most of you already know, we have plans to assassinate the Emperor. I've went through the letter and divided up the contracts. Festus, you and Veezara are going to a wedding. The Emperor's cousin, Victoria Vicci's to be exact. You two are to assassinate her, but to earn a little bonus, let's try to kill her during the ceremony. If you can, go ahead and take out her husband to be as well. You know, let the people know that the Dark Brotherhood is rising," Astrid began before handing Festus a paper. He opened it and Veezara looked over his shoulder. "Gabriella, you and Babette will pay a visit to Commander Maro's family. The letter states that he wants the son, Gaius Maro, dead and to plant a letter implicating him in the plot against the Emperor. Again, make it public. Let everybody know the Dark Brotherhood is back."
Gabs grinned as Babette took t
Pet Medics for DummkopfsPet Medics for Dummkopfs4 years ago in Humor More Like This
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SkyrimThe wind was cold and heavy, and when I blinked I could feel frost in my eyelashes. Tears were running down my cheeks, but when I tried to wipe them away, they were already frozen.Skyrim4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
In front of me laid a harsh winter landscape. As I took a step forward the snow crunched under my feet. I stopped once more, in an attempt to distinguish the shapes hidden by the snowstorm. I couldn't even see the horizon. Everything was just white.
Shivering, I kept on walking, every step felt as heavy as a wagon load. I clenched my teeth and forced myself forward, in hope for civilization somewhere beyond the blur. That was when I heard the roar, it pierced through everything, and for a moment I forgot the cold. This was a roar I recognized. I turned my eyes towards the sky, but nothing could be seen through the blizzard.
I reached for my sword as the sound of beating wings closed in on me.
Well Met By Moonlight - ch. 1Summary - After trying to kill the pretender Astrid, Cicero's fleeing for his life across Skyrim, Arnbjorn in full pursuit. However, when Cicero runs into a stronger and more fearsome opponent than Arnbjorn, he's quick to take full advantage and turn to them for protection - even if that does mean pretending he knows what honour is and throwing in his lot with the Companions of Ysgramor.Well Met By Moonlight - ch. 13 years ago in Romance More Like This
Jester and the Wolf
Running, running, running, fleeing through the night, fleeing north, for Sanctuary and home, racing through Skyrim's Pine Forest as if Dagon himself were after him.
Cicero would have almost preferred Mehrunes Dagon to his actual pursuer. Arnbjorn was fast, strong, indefatigable and relentless in pursuit of the man who'd dared to draw a blade on his wife. That of course was poor foolish Cicero, who had heard the pretender Astrid slandering dear Mother, and lost his temper. While Cicero couldn't say he regretted any of it, this did mean that he was now running for
DEAD INSIDE: Chapter 26: A Step ForwardChapter 26: A Step ForwardDEAD INSIDE: Chapter 26: A Step Forward6 months ago in General Fiction More Like This
July 18th, 7:15pm
Amy Rose's point of view:
"Guys! We have to get out of here now!" Knuckles cried, "Just as Sonic said before all of this happened, Eggman will find us and kill us!"
"But, where will we go?" Espio asked, "I suggest we sneak our way out. Be in the cover of night…"
I glance back and forth between the group as they discuss our escape plan.
"Escape to Southside Island…" I hear Sonic's voice in my head as I remember what he told us earlier.
I interrupt the discussion, "Just as Sonic said earlier, we need to escape to Southside Island…it's the farthest place from here, it's overrun with forest and has plenty of places to hide. Eggman will never think to search there…it is where Sonic first met him…"
"That sounds perfect," Knuckles agreed, "But we have no airships! How will we even get there?"
"Easy!" I exclaimed.
I turn and give Shadow a determined smile and he raises his eyebrow. "Shadow…can you Ch
Beth and Madness (Original One Shot)The Listener drew close. Too close and smiling that shy, calm and disarming smile of hers, all the while returning to him after she spoke with Astrid. But Cicero had a very good idea what the Listener was capable of if her honeyed words failed to sway.Beth and Madness (Original One Shot)3 years ago in Romance More Like This
He was not so out of touch with reality as he led on. It was just hard to hold back. Spending so much time alone, so very-very alone with Mother he had fallen into the habit of saying aloud exactly what he was thinking. That and what he said and what he did were two entirely different things. The laughter helped him as well. At first he hated it but like all things an enemy tried to use against him, Cicero found a way to turn it to his advantage. He knew he was odd but he did not care what anyone thought of that. It was just one more way to lull others to underestimate him as from the shadow he listened. And oh how he did love to listen!
For now he gave a little dance to burn off the excitement of the Night Mother's silence e
DEAD INSIDE: Chapter 22: A Hint of LightChapter 22: A Hint of LightDEAD INSIDE: Chapter 22: A Hint of Light1 year ago in Settings More Like This
July 18th, 4:25 pm
Amy Rose's point of view:
I pull away from my embrace, but didn’t let Sonic off the ground. I held his struggling arms down as tight as I could. His teeth snapped at me, like a dog. I slapped him, “Sonic! Stop it!”
He managed to push me off. I gasped as he tossed me aside but quickly recovered and got back up. I noticed Cream out of the corner of my eyes, still applying pressure to Tails’ wound. I decided Sonic could wait and ran towards them. “Cream!”
“Amy…” Cream chocked between sobs, “I can’t stop the bleeding!”
“Let me!” I cried, placing my hands on his chest. I began to summon the Abundant Star’s energy inside me. “Abundant Star…lend me your strength to save my friend…”
I closed my eyes and waited to feel the warm energy flow through my arms.
I tried again. “Abundan
Ode for SheogorathOde for SheogorathOde for Sheogorath6 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Come swim with the Birds and the Bees
And Gods flying in their threes
And logical Minded monkeys in the trees
Thank you but no Please!
You try to Halt and put it all on freeze
Here is the Daedric Prince, on your Knees
But youve been touched by the Madness
Just Embrace it with total Gladness
For Madness creates Art
A stage for actors to play the Part
Let it find a place in the Heart
Or, face the Retribution and Wrath
Of our rightful Lord Sheogorath
So come dance to the very merry jig
Offer up the yarn, gem and lettuce fig
The cats out of the bag, that dull hag
Laugh at boring old Jyggalag.
The 13 Blessings of SheogorathFor Our Lord Sheogorath, without Whom all Thought would be linear and all Feeling would be fleeting.The 13 Blessings of Sheogorath8 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Blessed are the Madmen, for they hold the keys to secret knowledge.
Blessed are the Phobic, always wary of that which would do them harm.
Blessed are the Obsessed, for their courses are clear.
Blessed are the Addicts, may they quench the thirst that never ebbs.
Blessed are the Murderous, for they have found beauty in the grotesque.
Blessed are the Firelovers, for their hearts are always warm.
Blessed are the Artists, for in their hands the impossible is made real.
Blessed are the Musicians, for in their ears they hear the music of the soul.
Blessed are the Sleepless, as they bask in wakeful dreaming.
Blessed are the Paranoid, ever-watchful for our enemies.
Blessed are the Visionaries, for their eyes see what might be.
Blessed are the Painlovers, for in their suffering, we grow stronger.
Blessed is the Madgod, who tricks us when we are foolish, punishes us when we are wrong, tortures us
Wabbajacked Part 1KaNack sucked in the cool night air as he rode Shadowmere across the plains of Hjaalmarch. He had just sent another soul to the Void in the name of the Dread Father. He always felt a great sense of worth and satisfaction after a good killing. His spiritual guardian was surprisingly quiet as the Argonian continued to guide his mare forward.Wabbajacked Part 13 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
“What’s wrong, Lucien? Did I finally perform a job so flawlessly that not even you can find room to critique?” the reptile laughed as he turned his head to look back at his transparent companion.
“You breathed so heavily that the only reason your contract remained unaware of your presence was the obscene amount of Alto wine in his system,” Lachance said sternly. “You get so excited about the kill that you forget yourself and just how noisy a creature you are.”
“There is it,” the caster chuckled. “Now that you’ve found fault in my death dealing, the night truly is complete. One day thou
Cicero Tribute: Madness is MerryMadness is merryCicero Tribute: Madness is Merry3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
The merry man's fight
To hold on to sanity
Lost in the night
The silence so empty
Held smothering tight
Even blind eyes could see
There's no end in sight
His family gone
When things had felt right
Hunted and burned
In flames so bright
Their acceptance a memory
Seeming so faint
When consumed by the jester
Who's laughter did taint
No one to hold him
No one who speaks
No one to tell him
The words that he seeks
Praying for a whisper
To end his heart's strife
The echoing laughter
Creeps into his life
she laughs as we foldour bodies together, too muchshe laughs as we fold3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
flesh pressed between our chests. this
is part of it: the reality
of two women together. once,
sharing body heat at a bus stop
in November, a man offered
to pay us if we let him watch.
the pair of us was still too small
compared to the breadth of his shoulders
to do anything but edge slowly
towards the main road,
biting back vulgar
& dangerous responses. the night
I turned twenty-two we danced
on the rooftop, my hands pushing
& pulling her hips into the right
rhythm. three men cornered
me behind the bar that night & I swear
I believed I wouldn't make it out
alive. I still do. the way
two women move together is
different, both reaching
deeper & deeper inside. you can
lose yourself when you're
that far gone. this, too,
is part of it.
MusicMusic10 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Music is me
Music is life
Music is what I need to survive
Music is meaning
Music is time
Music is the thing that makes me shine
Music must have meaning
Music ust have rhyme
Its a dialect we all need form time to time
Most people dont understand
What music is to me
But then they cant see
My music is what makes me,
Without my music I am a souless being
Please people please, listen to me
That I need msuic,
I dont want to annoy them or be mean
All I want to do
Music keeps me focused
And in time
Im listening to msuic as I write to you this rhyme
Whether its in my ehad,
Or on the speaker
The meaning of each song to me
Becomes clearer and clearer
As I listen to each song over and over
And read all the lyrics on the inside cover
So im sorry to annoy you
Im sorry to waste your much valued time
Im sorry that I wasted time on this rhyme
Maybe I made my point clear
Maybe now people are able to hear
That I AM the music
And the music IS ME
And without my music...
Archer Plays/Reviews Black Ops 2Archer the Argonian Dragonborn plays Call of Duty: Black Ops 2Archer Plays/Reviews Black Ops 22 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
It was a calm, peaceful day in Whiterun. Not a single complaint to the guards about bandits all day, and everybody seemed to be in a better mood. Even the weather complied with this good mood, with the sun shining brightly in the sun, basking the province in its gentle warmth, a nice change from the all-too often chill. However, unknown to most of the other citizens of Whiterun, a great battle was taking place in which hundreds were dying, killing, and fighting, using incomprehensibly complex weaponry and tactics. The center of this great yet unknown battle was not in a physical battlefield, but rather, inside the house of Skyrim’s very own Dragonborn.
“...Aw, did you think I couldn’t see you? Sorry!”
“...Ooh, that was a nice headshot!”
“...Sweet, got my Guardian!”
“...Oh snap. Save the flag!”
Archer, the Argonian Dragonborn, was keenly focused on the battle direct
The Keeper and the Listener Chapter 4The Keeper and the Listener Chapter 4.The Keeper and the Listener Chapter 42 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
I ran out of the Sanctuary at top speed and jumped on my horse, which was next to Shadowmere. Even though the Listener’s horse was faster than mine was, the demon horse would only listen to the Listener’s commands, not mine.
I rode my horse around the bend in the opposite direction of Dawnstar. I clung to the mane of the black horse, trying not to cry. I hadn't cried in so long, I had tried not to cry in a long time, and I wasn't about to start now.
“Cicero! Cicero, come back!” I heard the Listener’s voice calling my name, but I did not stop, not this time. I just kept riding. Far away from Dawnstar, far away from the Sanctuary, far away from the Listener. From Irrissa.
I remember the first time I met her. I was on my way to the last Sanctuary left in all of Tamriel, the Falkreath Sanctuary.
I was just riding in my wagon, with Mother’s coffin in the back, all boxed up so no one would get suspicio