"There, there, baby It's just text book stuff It's in the ABC of growing up Now, now, darlin' Oh don't lose your head 'Cause none of us were angels And you know I love you, yeah" Lyrics from Imogen Heap's 'Speeding Cars'
Arthur sat peacefully at his desk reading. If it weren't for the discomfort in his knee it'd be any other day. He sighed and rubbed his cast longingly. "Arthur!" came a voice from behind him. He turned his head and saw Alfred charging at him at full speed. "A-Alfr-" he started. Alfred hugged him from behind him, squeezing him a bit too tight. "OhmygoshArthuryourleg!" Alfred squeaked into Arthur's neck. "I-It's all right-" Arthur was again interrupted. "No it's not. I'm so sorry." Alfred gave Arthur a reassuring squeeze. Arthur gulped. "W-Well I'll be fine, really." he told Alfred. It didn't work. Arthur released him and went to his own desk, to the left of Arthur's. "Yeah, you'll be okay." Alfred said, surprising Arthur. "Juuust as soon as I recognise your leg." he finished with a giggle. Arthur rolled his eyes.
Later that day, Arthur did his best to lift himself up from his desk. He required help from his crutches, and by the time he finished he remembered he needed his book and his backpack. He reached for his book and was unsuccessful. He let out a whimper in frustration. Then his book was carefully lifted off his desk. Not by himself, of course. By Alfred. Arthur almost smiled. "Thank you." he said sheepishly. Alfred giggled. They both made their way to their cubbies, Arthur a little behind. Alfred stuffed Arthur's book into Arthur's backpack, putting it on his back. He put his own backpack around his front. Arthur blushed, what with being treated like a girl. They carefully made it out the crowded school, Alfred reminding some kids to be cautious. Alfred helped Arthur make it down the stairs. Luckily no one fell. "T-Thank you." Arthur said. Alfred looked at him. "You don't need to say that." he replied. Arthur started walking home, and Alfred followed. A minute of silence. "I hope it feels better soon," Alfred said. Arthur remained quiet. "I love you," Alfred continued. Arthur's face felt hot. He couldn't think of a reply. "'cus we're friends. And friends do that," Alfred went on. He seemed pretty happy talking to himself, he had a silly grin on his face. Arthur said nothing. "You know, when we're older, we should get married." Alfred blabbered on. . Wait, get married? Arthur almost tripped. "R-Really? What? B-But I'm a guy!" Arthur argued. "So?" Alfred asked. "Guys can't marry guys!" Arthur told him. Alfred looked hurt. He was looking away with his mouth slightly agape. "Y-Yeah they can." Alfred claimed while twiddling his thumbs. "How do you know anyway!?" Arthur asked in a huff. He knew he shouldn't be angry, Alfred was carrying his stuff. But what if he didn't want to get married? Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. Okay he didn't know. "Well, I've got two dads." Alfred admitted quietly. Arthur watched his feet instead of Alfred's eyes. "...Really?" he asked. Alfred coughed. "Yeah," he answered. "We're at your house." Arthur looked up and Alfred was right. About the house, that is. "A-All right." Arthur replied. Alfred helped him up the stairs. Again by some miracle no one fell. Alfred opened the door and put Arthur's backpack on the floor. Arthur followed. "Bye!" Alfred cheered and ran away. "It's 'goodbye', git." Arthur mumbled once Alfred was gone. He sat down by his backpack. A minute of silence. "I love you too." he whispered. If only he could admit it when he wasn't alone.
You woke up really early the next day. It felt like you had gone to bed early last night anyway, so maybe that was all that was keeping you from sleeping in. Yawning, you stretched and got your clothes for the day on. Not bothering to have any one of the servants to come along, you went out of your room and headed for the garden. You walked down the stone steps and onto the lawn, right before the huge maze of hedges and flowers.
"Miss?" a quiet and timid voice called from behind you. Turning, you saw a very pretty woman with silvery hair and skin like caramel. She had on a navy maid uniform and a white gauze and wrap around her left eye. You blinked at her for a second then smiled nicely.
"Hello. I'm afraid I haven't met you yet," you told her politely.
She bowed, not ever making eye contact with you, and apologized quickly. "My apologies Miss. You can call me Hanna if you wish. I was just going to tell you that breakfast is going to be done shortly. The Master is not awake yet, but I just wanted to inform you..."
You nodded at her. "Thank you. It's no problem, I was just going to go one a little walk to explore this beautiful garden. You and the others do a wonderful job here."
"Thank you Miss..." she trailed off again, still staring at the ground.
Your gazed soften more at her, then put on a cheery smile and stuck your hand out toward her in a friendly manner. "My name is (Name) (Last Name). Pleasure."
The woman lifted her head to look at the hand put in front of her and she smiled gently for a second. She shook the hand with a loose grip while you grabbed it like she was an old friend.
"You do not care about the classes very much do you?" she said in almost a whisper.
"Hmm? Me? Oh, not really. I think they're silly. Why should someone who was more fortunate than someone else treat that person poorly? There's no real sense in it after all~ I don't feel bad for people who are supposedly "lower class" than me, but I don't treat them any differently than I should treat someone else. I don't understand the prim and proper ideal for aristocrats either. I would much rather have a friendly greeting than one where I have to be mannerly and bow. What say you, Hanna?"
She looked at you for a second, her soft smile still there which made you happy she was slightly more relaxed. "I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I do say that you're philosophy would be much better on the moral scale."
Nodding thoughtfully, you turned toward the garden again. It was so whimsical... A sudden thought of all the strange goings on around the house struck you for a second and you turned to Hanna tentatively. "Hanna? May I ask you something?"
"Of course. But whether I may be able to answer it or not is debatable."
"Right. So, why is there this pressure lingering around?" you asked carefully.
You nodded, still watching the garden as the sun was coming over the tree line a bit more. "This feeling... It comes from all of you, except for Alois. It's almost like an eerie shadow is everywhere. The Phantomhive's butler had the same feel. Can you tell me what's here? Is there any reason you can think of that this may be happening?"
Hanna was silent for a moment, deciding on whether she would tell you or not. Glancing at you, she answered, "Well Miss... I would love to tell why you have this feeling, but I don't know if my Master would approve of you knowing."
"Hmm. I understand. Maybe I'll ask Alois again later... Thank you Hanna," you said nicely.
"I think, though, that you are a smart human. You may be able to figure it out."
"Thank you. Hanna, do you really feel these polite emotions toward people, whether it be me, Alois, or the rest of society? Or is all this fake?" you inquired.
She looked to you, quite surprised. Hanna let out a tiny laugh and looked to you sheepishly. "You are a clever human indeed. There are few I have feelings for, but then again it is almost rather impossible for someone of my type to have feelings about anything..."
You silently thought this over. The way she called you human made you think her as a different species and then she referred to someone of her type. It didn't sound like she was talking about her position as a maid. Slowly, you put the pieces of the puzzle together: the Phantomhive's "one hell of a butler," the eerie feeling, the duel, the way Hanna was talking to you, and most of all the way that two young teens that had gone through so much hardship end up with two mysterious servants serving them.
Smiling softly, you glanced back to Hanna for a second. "Hmm. I see now. It's quite amazing actually..."
Hanna turned to you, giving you full eye contact and remarked with a kind smile that you didn't expect could ever be possible for 'one of her own kind,' "I guess it is... But what do you think is the most amazing part? The part of our existence?"
You shook your head and explained, "No. That part could be perfectly believable to the open-minded person. I find it amazing that someone could fall so far as to need you. It's amazing, but sadly so."
"I think you are the first person to think that."
She nodded, her hands folded in front of her. "Yes, most would be shocked at the existence of demons. Or, if they were open minded like you, they would most likely be jealous of their power or despise the two boys for being desperate to call forth such evil creatures and denouncing there promises to paradise. I hardly think anyone would take a step back and realize that those two have been through so much and to be fully accepting. I may not be able to have strong liking for people, but I love Alois. I feel that I do. And you... I think that you are not like the other humans."
Giggling softly, you thanked Hanna. "Thank you then. I don't have a right to have such cruel and misjudged opinions when I haven't gone through the same things. It's unfair."
"How very tolerant of you," Hanna said. She suddenly looked back down at the ground and told you quickly, "Miss, breakfast is ready. And I'm sorry about interrupting your walk."
"Really Hanna... A demon shouldn't be so below a fragile thing like a human like this. You must really love Alois," you remarked, following her into the house.
She hummed in agreement and stopped in front of the dining hall, opening the door for you. You flashed her a smile as you went to go join Alois for breakfast.
Oh, and sorry about the whole paradise thing... But I was just remembering the first episode and Sebastian told Ciel, "the gates of paradise will not be open to you." So that's why... Sorry!
Anyway, I had to have you have a nice talk with Hanna. I know that there is nothing to interest you here... possibly? I hope you like it though! I couldn't add anything after it... It didn't seem right.
Wiping a few tears from your face you sighed sadly. Today was not a good day, or more like not a good week. Everything that was anything went wrong. You tried to put on a brave face most of the week, but as it progressed you just got worse and worse. There were moments when you would laugh about something but then went right back to your depressed mood. These kind of days were nothing new. After your big move to London, you had a lot of new adjustments to get used to. However, that was over two and a half months ago but nothing had really changed since. You had made a few friends the time you have been in London. Mostly the master of the Phantomhive Estate, Ciel and his butler Sebastian. Also, with the other servants of the residence, Bard, Finni, and Mey-Rin. You were all friends but it was nothing serious. Ciel was always busy and Bard and the others had their own problems to deal with so you didn't want to add onto the pressure. Suddenly tears formed up in your eyes again as you tried to choke back the sobs. Slumping down into the chair you were sitting in you wiped your eyes again.After wiping your face for the billionth time, you heard your door open and your boyfriend and also partner walked in. Not even bothering to look you slumped back into your chair. "Hey, (name) why are you feeling so down darling? C'mon come reaping with me! William has me working overtime and I can't do this all by myself." Still not making eye contact you replied, "No thanks Grell...I'm not in the mood for anything..." Grell walked over to your bed and sat down facing you with a toothy grin on his face. "Awww why not my love? I enjoy your company and I hate to see my sweetness so sad." He gave you a cute wink. Finally glancing over at him you merely replied again, "I'm just not in the mood okay?" He gave you a cute but concerned look and scooted farther to the edge of the bed. "Why are you so down in the dumps darling? You've been like this all week. Where's the funny and happy-hearted (name) I fell in love with?" He asked as he rolled over onto the bed looking at you upside-down. You blushed slightly at his question but gave a real cliche and somewhat sarcastic answer. "Probably lost, London is a big place you know?" Grell giggled at your reply and sat back up as an idea came into his mind. "I am going to make you smile if it's the last thing I do" "Don't bother. Didn't you say William is making you work overtime? Why don't you get going before he yells at you again..." He shook his head. "He can yell at me all he wants. I'm not leaving till my beloved is happy." You just sighed and turned to face Grell, figuring you might as well give him a chance in attempt to make you feel better. He got off the bed and smiled at you and began to sing to you: "Darling, at some point in the future, I will sleep in your cuddling hug, and we will even share the same dream.
I will casually recall and imagine, from looking at my cup of black tea, our crimson kiss and rosy secret In this eternity of an instant where we've just met, I'll start weaving our red string of fate.
The feeling of loving you can be summarized as scorching-hot red blood cells and difficulty to breathe. If I affix my light-pink heartbeats right next to my window... Oh my! My heart suddenly feels apprehensive!" Your head perked up a little and you blushed slightly as he continued.
"Darling, do you feel it? This miracle that our heartbeats are horsing around under the night sky.
Unintentionally, I've placed on the table a bouquet, some lies, and a crazily raging love song.
I want us to cuddle close in this small red-roofed house, and together greet the arrival of every morning." As he continued, your depressed mood began to fade away. you started to smile and blush. "So sweet that I could just die with you, I'd tickle you into a bittersweet waking in the morning-- -that's how much I'm crazy for you. In the maze, I murmur to you with my heart-burning tears:
"Ah, in a chapel as white as cotton candy, I'll walk down the aisle with you in a red wedding dress... The path would be as radiant as heaven itself... And then we'll be bonded together forever...!"
You feel both so close to and so far away from me, and even that aggravating distance of yours is so lovely! Even if everything were just a dream, I'll just kill our profusely blooming love in the heaven." After he finished, you ran up to him and hugged him tightly laughing and giggling. He hugged you back tightly and chuckled. Sure some of the lyrics were a little iffy, but you still loved it. It worked after all. You pulled away and smiled at him, full of happiness. "There, there's the (name) I know! I told you I'd make you feel better." You layed your head on his chest and replied, "Yes, you did. I'm sorry for being so moody." "Apologize not my love. Deadly efficient is my motto after all." You giggled again and he kissed your cheek. "Now, lets go reaping! William is gonna kill me knowing I've been slacking off again!" You sighed again as if to say, you're kidding right? but smiled. "Alright lets go, but don't blame me if William yells at you. Grell laughed again. "Hey he can yell all he wants. I had a very important matter to attend to. Keeping my beloved happy is more important." Thinking about it for a minute, you thought, maybe things weren't as bad as you made them seem. As long as you had Grell, you couldn't have really asked for anything better.
I've been in a depressed mood for some time now so I decided to write a Grell x Reader I'm watching Black Butler again and Grell is one of my favs. I DO NOT OWN GRELL, BLACK BUTLER, OR THE LYRICS TO THE SONG! ALL GOES TO THEIR RESPECTED OWNERS. Here's the link to the song: [link] ^^
Light hits my eyes. I open slowly. I welcome the warmth. Blackness is in my way. I know who it is. Sebastian.
His red eyes shine. His black tail coat is bright. His black hair fits is head. He gets on his knees. He sits perfect, like a raven. Sebastian.
He takes my orders. He never fails me. Sebastian.
He waits to feed. That day will never come. I'm one of him now. He will never feed. He will take my orders forever. He cant leave my side. Because of what I have become. But, I know we will be forever. Sebastian.
You opened your eyes as the dull morning light entered you room. You snuggled closer to the your pillow only to feel arms tightening around you. You lifted your head up to find a peaceful Lovino. You blushed as you realized the position you were in.
You rested your cheek on his chest and went back to sleep. You enjoyed the quiet moments like these with him.
You closed your eyes and listened to his deep breathing. You fell back into a deep sleep.
Eventually the peace and quiet was interrupted by the door swinging open.
"Are they asleep?"
"Ohh! Did somebody get lucky last night?"
"Aw! How cute!"
It was quiet when, "Hey-a guys. I-a made pasta!" This outburst caused Lovino to wake up from his sleep and glare at the intruders. Priya, Arthur, Feliciano, Francais and Gilbert.
You were still asleep so he couldn't be too loud.
"What the F*ck do you want?" he growled. he sent each one of them death glares.
"Just making sure you know that it's nine in the morning." Arthur said.
"Thanks. Now get the hell out."
"Aw! C'mon. So you taking the day off or what?" Gilbet asked.
Lovino let out a sigh. "Si. Now, before I loose my temper and wake up (Name), I suggest you leave." he reached for his gun and took it out of his holster. "You have the count of five." he smirked as they realized he was serious.
"Well. Look at the time. I have a manicure. Bye." Priya grabbed Arthur and pulled him away with Feliciano.
"I have somewhere awesome to be." Gilbert quickly walked out with Francais behind him.
He let out a irritated sigh. You stirred in his arms. You opened your eyes again to meet his beautiful green ones.
"Good Morning." you chirped.
"Buongiorno, tesoro. (good morning, sweetheart.)" he said back.
"Sorry about last night." you whispered.
"It's okay. It was my fault and I should have told you."
"What are we going to do today?" you asked.
"I have the day off so I'm taking you out." he got up and kissed your forehead. "Get ready and meet me out front."
"Okay." you leaned up and pressed your lips to his cheek. "See you soon." then you pushed him out of your room.
You took a shower and got ready. After much debate you wore jeans, blouse and simple flats. You decided let your hair out today. You looked around the hallway to find no one. You walked down the hallways to find a few people walking around. They either nodded at you or ignored you. You kept walking until you found the foyer.
You walked down the stairs as you saw Roma coming up.
"Good morning, bambina." he greeted.
"Good morning, grandfather."
"Looking for Lovino?"
"Yeah." you blushed slightly.
"He's outside. Enjoy your day." He gave you a hug and pushed to the door. "Bye." he closed the door behind you.
"I see you made it." Lovino was sitting on the hood of his car. He was wearing Vans, dark jeans, a plain red tee-shirt, and Sunglasses on his head. You were genuinely surprised as you saw him. Other than suits and ties, thats all you saw him wear but here he was, dressed up like a normal seventeen year old.
"So? Where we going?" you asked as you got in.
"The beach." he started up the engine.
"Your gonna drive slower, right?" you asked, your voice laced with worry.
"Maybe." he smirked as he pressed down on the accelerator.
After holding on to Lovino for dear life, you two finally ended up at the beaches of Sicily. It was empty so you and Lovino had parked the car and walked along the beach.
You did what regular couples would do at a beach. Build sand castles, play frisbee or admire the view. Only you and Lovino ended up having a splash fight.
"Don't even think about it, ragazza." Lovino held his hands up as you held a bucket of saltwater.
"No chance." You threw the water on him, drenching him.
"You shouldn't have done that." he said. He gave you a sexy smirk before you ran. He ran after you.
"C'mon. Take a joke." you called behind you. You didn't see him in sight so you stopped. Bad move because you felt two arms wrap around you.
"Got you." he whispered in your ear.
"Your in no position to say anything else." he nuzzled your neck playfully as your face went tomato red.
"Jerk." you muttered. He chuckled and let you go. He held your hand as he walked with you.
You two walked in silence through the silent beach. You two sat down on a log as you two looked at the calm waters.
"Lovino?" he looked at you. "Those files say where my father might be, right?" he nodded. "I was thinking about looking for him."
"What?!" he whipped his head around to look at you.
"Lovino. I have to know what happened to him."
"No. Not again. If Selene finds you, then-"
"I have to face her. I can't just hide like a coward, Lovino. But i have to know"
"Lovino. I'll be fine. I promi-"
"Please don't. If you promise again and you do get hurt, I will never forgive myself!"
"Lovino please." you begged.
"No." he pulled you to his chest. "I can't." he held you as if you were going to fade away. Just like when he found you.
"Trust me. Please. I don't want to leave you behind but i have to so look me in the eye and tell me you trust me enough to be careful." you pulled back and held his face in your hands.
After a few stressful minutes, he finally looked up. "Come back to me, okay?" he pressed his lips down to yours before you could answer. This kiss was desperate and feverish, full of longing and passion. He broke the kiss to pull you into his lap. "when do you want to go?"
"Tomorrow." you fought back tears as you thought about it.
"I'll take it that your leaving with your friends?" he asked.
"Then we should head back." he pulled you up as you two walked in silence back to the car. He opened the door then got in. He started the car as you rested your head against his shoulder. He held you hand with one hand as he drove with the other. For once you didn't feel scared at how fast he was driving.
"Don't be." he stopped the car and turned to you. "As long as you come back to me, I trust you." he leaned over and pecked your lips.
Time skip because I'm so lazy
You woke again to not dull morning light but to bright orange filling your eyes.
"Wake up. Your flight leaves soon." Lovino's voice filled your ear.
You opened your eyes to see his face. It would be a while if you woke up like this again.
"Okay." you got up and went into the bathroom. You changed into jeans and a tee shirt. You shrugged on a jacket as you grabbed your backpack.
Lovino took your hand and led you outside to the waiting car with all his friends. He let your hand go as you walked to the car. Before you could get in however, he spun you around and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips.
He let you go and said. "Ti amo." he shoved your fathers ring back into your hand.
Then got in the car as the door shut behind you. You met his eyes once as you sped away to the airport.
"Ti amo." he repeated again as he saw your vehicle disappear from view.
He felt a strong arm grip his shoulder. "She will come back, Lovino." Roma said.
"I know." the brunette smiled sadly as he turned to walk back into the house.
Another Time skip
The snow crunched underneath your boots as you walked with a bouquet of roses in your hand. You pushed aside the brush in your path until you came to your destination. You sat down in front of the marble grave and set down the roses. On it was:
(Mother's Name) (Maiden Name) Braginski.
'Mother, wife and sister. May the entire world grieve her loss. May the world never forget her. May she stay in our hearts.'
You stayed like that in the cold until somebody came up behind you.
"Your going to catch a cold." A voice that sounded to familiar said.
"What do you wat, Selene? If you want to fight, don't do by my mothers grave." you snarled.
"No. You know your fathers alive right?"
"Yes." you said cautiously.
"It's time to see him." she said.
"Wha-?!" you felt the sickly sweet smell of chloroform envelop your senses. How could you be so stupid?
"I'll see you soon, okay?" she flashed a wicked smile before the darkness finally got to you.
To many time skips!
"Wake up!" You felt the cold water drenching you. "That's better."
You shook off your grogginess and got up on unsteady legs.
"Welcome to your new home." A voice said. You turned to see Selene. "Your staying here until the wedding is over. You want your father, you get him but with a price. Goodbye, runt."
"Wait! What wedding?! What price!? Damnit! Answer me!" You pounded on the door as she closed it. You sank to you knees as you screamed.
What were you going to do now? How could you break your promise again?
"Damn you." you whispered as you felt hot tears fall down your face. How stupid could you be?
You got up and looked around the dark room. It was windowless and had two beds on opposite sides. One looked unkempt and rumpled while the other was bare and neat. You sat down on the neat bed and buried your face in your hands.
You stayed like that for a while until the door creaked open again and somebody was pushed in. The person landed face first with a thud. Upon closer inspection you saw it was a male with sandy-white hair. You grabbed his shoulders and flipped him over only to gasp back and scramble away.
The mans eyes opened to revel purple ones as he looked around the room with groggy eyes. His purple eyes looked at your (e/c) ones before saying, "(Mothers Name?)"
"Papa?" you got out.
"Is this another one of your tricks Selene?! Answer me?" he yelled into the open air. "You killed my wife and daughter and left me here for dead. What more can you take from me?" he clutched his head.
"Papa! It's me." you went to grab his large hand but he moved away quickly.
"No! Your not real. Just another figment, da. You'll leave me alone soon." he looked up with crazed purple eyes.
"I am real! See! I have the locket and your Ring!" you brought out the two objects.
"No! Your not real! My little sunflower died!" he wept. Is this your father? The once great Ivan reduced to a madman?
You grabbed his hand and slipped on the ring. He pulled his hand back and looked at the object. "It's real." he whispered. "I gave a matching locket to someone?" he asked fearfully.
"(Name) (Middle Name) (Maiden Name) Braginski. Your daughter."
"I remember that name. She was so cute. The last time I saw her was when I waved goodbye. She was just eight. She was wearing a blue dress and her hair on pigtails." a tear fell down his face. "She had a locket I had given her. Just like the one your wearing."
"Would you believe me if I said eight years had passed?"
"Your daughter was alive?"
"But she is? Trust me."
"Where is she? And how can I trust you? You look so much like her mother."
"Would you believe me if your daughter was in front of you?"
After a long and nerve racking pause, he looked at you again with his tearful purple eyes.
"Sunflower?" he asked. You nodded vigorously as tears welled in your eyes.
"Papa! I'm here!" he pulled you into a warm and comforting hug. He smelled like Vodka and Sunflowers, his signature smell ever since your were little.
"You look like your mother." he breathed out.
"No. I'm afraid not. She's gone."
"I miss her too, da."
"Da. I hoped a little too much."
"Hope isn't bad. It made me almost insane for eight years but it was worth it."
"Papa!" you sobbed into his jacket. "What happened to you?"
"Selene." he said as his purple aura surrounded him.
Dear Mister, I lay empty inside with many thoughts of suicide. Limbo is where I stand above the ground so high. The people below laugh at my failure that has tainted my empty heart. So Mister call my phone, talk to me, tell me why I was born when nobody wants me. Maybe tomorrow or maybe next year you will find my wrenched corpse in my bathtub. The cold water will run down my bloody wrists. Liquor stains my clothes because I drank to my death in a good humor. Dead lips so cold just a touch will break me. No longer will I be your victim of your love rape or abuse. The scars on my body are enough proof of your existence. Tonight I will leave my proof of living by dying. Everything that I hold dear is gone now, you stole my everything. Someday you will wake and see my face in the mirror with soaked bloody tears that you had drawn. Paint my corpse with your lies of love. Whisper your secrets into mouth, tasting the hate I had bundled up in my lungs. Taste my death. From the view of behind you I will scream for help. Stop touching me! With you dirty hands and bloody lips. Maybe tomorrow or maybe years you will stand over me laughing at me with the look of despise. Neither my friend nor my enemy I wish you could stop me maybe later or maybe never. This will be my last day alive. Drown me with your goodbyes. Not to worry Mister my soul will no longer be raped by thing called life. Goodbye Mister.
When I was 12 I had this fiend who wouldnt tell me his name so, I just called him Mister. I really looked up to him but, the truth was he hated my guts. One day he took something from me that I will never be able to take back. After he did that to me I decided that I couldnt live any longer. I mean I felt so wrenched afterwards and it had scared me. On september 27th I attempted suicide but my grandmother found me before I was dead. Deep down im happy I didnt commit suicide, because now I have a reason to keep on living.
I had a debate with myself if I should have post this, because this note is something very important to me.
"Welcome Phantomhive! I wasn't expecting this!" Alois called cheerily as he flamboyantly crossed over to them, hand waving above his head.
You saw Ciel cringe as you watched from the doorway. "Whatever. Look Trancy, I've come for-"
"Dinner?" Alois interrupted very quickly, glancing at you. "Sure, sure. Claude was just getting on that!"
As he spoke, the said man bowed and left for the kitchens, eying the Phantomhives on the way out.
"What the bloody hell are you talking abou-Oh." Ciel paused after you left from the doorway, looking at him.
Alois spoke up, "Ah, yes! I have company. The dear (Last Name) House has left their daughter in my care for the next few days."
"(Last Name) House? As in the merchant company?" Ciel asked to no one in particular.
You nodded, grinning lightly. Ciel cocked his head to the side and paced up to you. "You look familiar..."
"As do you Ciel Phantomhive. We haven't met," you said simply.
The butler interrupted, "Are you sure you don't have a con artist scamming you Trancy? I recognize her. She plays cards and gambles in the streets, am I correct?"
Alois opened his mouth, but you spoke first. "That's right. I have to have something to do while my father is busy and aristocratic things just won't cut it for me. I'll leave that to my brother. Nothing rests on my shoulders to keep the family looking good. All I have to do is show up to a few parties a year. Problem Mr...?"
The butler bowed. "Sebastian. And no problem. Just that it's slightly odd..."
You scoffed. Great. The rude side was coming out. "I could say the same for the Phantomhive house. A young boy controlling a whole company? Not only that, but you also directly serve the queen. I find that a little off. I also find you a little off Mr. Sebastian. You seem to have wine colors for eyes. You also are paying attention enough to know that I'm running around in the streets. On top of that, there are rumors of your terror running through the underground. And that's another good thing about being a gambler on the streets... You hear things. I may know more secrets about you then you may know."
And with that, you stared irritably at the butler. He was slightly taken aback, his eyes showing faint surprise for a split second then going back to curiosity and interest. He bowed and smiled lightly. "How very observant of you~" was all he said.
Glaring daggers, you snapped, "Anyone else would take that as a compliment or words of submission. You think that you're a higher being. And maybe you are. But I'll tell you this: I've heard things, things about the family that you serve. My family even has contracts with your family. Now, I'll say this once... Treat me like a person. Not an aristocrat. Not a lower being. A person."
Sebastian remained quiet after your little rant, but he kept the strange smile and knowing eyes. It was still irritating but you could take it. Ciel eyed you curiously, pouting slightly. "You don't care very much about status do you?"
He smirked. "You're interesting. Maybe we can discuss how much you actually know over dinner then."
Alois stepped back to you, and slung and arm around your waist. "Oh she's very interesting. And my guest."
Scoffing, Ciel walked past you and Alois, heading toward the dinner hall. "It's a shame. You don't even deserve this type of company."
Alois' grip tightened around you, but his face refused to change. "I do believe that your company would make her more worrisome. She seems to have a disliking of your butler, and here I was thinking that this was the butler of the great Phantomhive who can woo or entertain any guest without them getting angry~"
Raising an eyebrow, you observed the butler was getting bashed and not Ciel. Guessing that it had something to do with how the upper classes picked the best servants, you ignored it. However, you also noticed Sebastian's eyes flashing just like how you thought you saw Claude do. Strange....
You weren't an idiot. You could clearly see that two young boys around the same age with two unsettling butlers with flashing eyes was suspicious, and not only that but possibly dangerous. Getting confused and irritated, you spoke up again. "That's enough. Now, I'd like to know why this all feels strangely morbid. I'd have to be a fool not to be able to read the signs of oddity at this level, so explain yourselves. Explain to me why you, no... more like you butlers give off this feeling."
Ciel blinked at you, trying to figure out why you had been so observant. He tried to speak, but his butler beat him to it.
Sebastian chuckled at you and simply said, "I'm simply one hell of a butler."
You chortled. "Great. A butler from hell. Well, I'm not saying that I don't believe you, but I guess if that's all your going to tell me... Off to dinner with the two hell butlers then..."
You were dead serious, yet speaking lightly as if it was nothing. Alois and Ciel watched with confused and slightly wondering expressions, but Sebastian... Sebastian eyed you like you were an interesting little bug.
The dinner table was set magnificently, and you were surprised to see that the color of the room had changed from the gaudy gold and red to a nice and calming assortment of pale purples, grays, silver, whites, and other dark colors. You smiled broadly.
"Ah, now this is beautiful~ No more of those disgusting colors the fool left behind..." you sighed.
Watching you with a strange look, Ciel asked, "You don't mean the previous head of the Trancy house?"
"Of course I do. The bloody man harassed me," you stated with a certain sharpness to your tongue.
Ciel chuckled. "Not very secretive about your opinions either."
You shrugged. "Sometimes it just slips out. However, I don't think that you are much into making a big deal or gossip about how the younger daughter of the (Last Name) House was bashing the late Trancy head. I think you have better things to do than things as petty as that."
Giving a small smile, he agreed with you. "Of course I'm not into that nonsense. But how clever of you. Able to tell what's in a person's head right when you meet them."
"It comes with the gambling," was all you said back.
Alois was silent for a while, glaring daggers into Ciel while grinning a sadistic smile. Speaking up, he asked, "So Phantomhive, what did bring you here to the Trancy manor?"
Ciel cleared his throat, then went back to emotionless yet anger underneath the skin. "I was coming for a... sword. But you seem a bit busy to give it to me now."
Alois smiled. "Ah, that. Yes, I do believe I am a bit busy at the moment. The back isn't even set up for you... What a shame. I do invite you to come some other time though."
You had been staring down at your food during their small exchange of words, but now you looked at them curiously. "So Ciel came for a duel? How very interesting..."
The black haired boy starting explaining rather agitated, "No. I've come for a sword. There is nothing like a duel going on."
You raised and eyebrow and looked at Ciel with an expression that read 'Are you seriously believing that I would buy that?'
Sighing, he turned back to his food. Alois, however, was ready to talk. "Fine, (Name). We were planning a duel. It seems that I had upset him at one of his parties and now we are just having a little go at the sword to relieve some tension. Right Phantomhive?"
Ciel looked up and nodded grimly at you. Alois seemed convincing... You decided to just skip the questions and assumptions and believe him. You nodded and looked back down.
"Goodbye Phantomhive~ Hope we can do battle later!" Alois called after the carriage that was pulling away, waving happily. Once the carriage turned the bend, Alois looked at you with unhappiness and annoyance.
"What's with the look?" you asked.
"He wouldn't stop looking and talking to you..." he grumbled, his shoulders slouching and his blonde hair covering up his face. He trudged past you in a pathetic state.
"Hmm? I don't understand what the big deal is," you argued. Walking behind him, watching him, baffled.
"(Name)... I'm sorry, but but... You're mine!" he cried, tears almost swimming in his eyes. But this voice was out of anger. He was genuinely furious that Ciel had been talking with you!
Blinking, you took a step back. "Pardon?"
Alois turned and walked toward you, saying things rapidly. "I told you, you're perfect! I'm sorry but... I just got upset that you were angry and getting along well with the Phantomhives! Please... Don't leave me!" Alois cried to you.
Realizing something, you patted his shoulder. Alois... Really hated being alone. It was almost like he had abandonment issues. He told you his story that you halfway believed about the old town that he lived in, but could he really be lonely from a life lived with separation? "Alois, I'm going to stay with you until my father gets home. I'm not leaving till then, alright?"
He looked like a child, sniffling and rubbing his eyes with his sleeve. Nodding glumly, he hugged you tightly.
Generally shocked, you slightly gasped then sighed. "Someone hurt you didn't they?"
He nodded into your shoulder.
"It's okay. I'm not going to. I promise, okay?" you offered.
Sniffling again, he argued back, "But, what if you're lying to me? What if your promise isn't good enough?"
You thought about that. It seemed that you would have to promise on something worthy for him to calm down and accept the fact that you wouldn't try to hurt him. "Hmm... Okay then... I promise on my dreams for becoming a pirate that I won't hurt you."
Pausing, Alois considered this. He chuckled at the silly promise and hugged you again. "Thank you (Name)..."
"...yeah. I'm heading back to Alan. See you tomorrow."
Eric had long since grown used to the pitying looks and ignored them all. The fight wasn't worth it any more. Not when his world was slipping away like sand sinking grain by grain by grain... There was no hope, no cure, no mention even in folklore. He still pretended to stay positive though, for Alan's sake. They had sorrows enough.
Tutting, Eric rolled his shirt sleeve back down, numb and unsurprised to find he had made the walk from his office to the new living quarters on auto-pilot again. He rarely remembered taking his blazer off either but Eric could never get used to the daily injections no matter how out of it he was. Still, at least the evening jab served as a reminder to put on a smile before Alan saw him.
Alan's health was so fragile that nowadays they lived under controlled conditions. Both of them. That fight had been worth it. It had taken Eric dropping his usual laid back attitude to kick up a fuss and scream "of course he bloody knew" about the rarity of the situation before the powers that be took them in as a pair. He and Alan, together as they should be. Even when it meant living under observation. Still, they adapted, they changed, they found a way to carry on together as they always had.
But to see Alan treated as a test subject made him feel sick. Alan deserved better than this. He was pale to begin with but being cooped up all day was starting to turn him ghostly. Sure, Eric wasn't a fan of being jabbed but it was better than the alternative. While they were not exactly living in quarantine Alan's defences were now so low simply walking into the room in a cloud of tobacco smoke was enough to give his lover a coughing fit which led to Alan panicking then collapsing in agony when even the small exertion triggered the Thorns of Death. Eric's jabs and occasional blood tests were a precaution; he couldn't risk catching anything and then passing it on.
It was strange though, Alan the reaper reacting similar to how an ill human might. Eric had once let slip how similar the new developments were to previous cases he had reaped but it made Alan look at him like he was crazy so Eric didn't mention it again. Now he had thought about it he could see even drawing the comparison had been tactless in the extreme, but Eric's sleeping patterns were inconsistent these days and sometimes his concentration slipped.
Alan slept a lot. Eric could spend entire off-duty days barely even blinking while he watched his partner rest. Alan never nagged him about it now if he caught him sitting staring. They both knew.
Quitting his baccy and booze was child's play compared to watching his partner's slow decline. He couldn't even vent his frustrations out on the job because Eric's rota had been changed to desk duty. Only desk duty. He understood. It wouldn't do to be out on the field, or worse mid-battle, if Alan took a turn for the worse.... Oh gods, he really didn't want to think about that.
One day a reaper, some forgettable prat wearing the new style white suit, had stopped by Eric's office and began talking about Alan in the past tense until Eric shut him up with a smash of his fist, taking no pleasure in splattering the other reaper red.
He and Alan had been separated for a while after that little stunt. Alan had found out about the fight and worked himself into such a state thinking over the situation he took a Thorns attack which landed him in intensive care for days on end. Not being allowed to visit had almost killed Eric. The night they were reunited they both wept, struggling to keep things calm. The wracking sobs Eric was tempted to give in to would surely set Alan off and the last thing he wanted to do was trigger a relapse.
Alan's life had a limit.
When their crying was done it was the look of resignation in his partner's eyes after which haunted him far more than reproach would have done, time was trickling away and Eric was selfish to squander it. Guilt was the main reason he hadn't complained when they were moved rooms again, now with both of them being kept an eye on. Being watched more closely put another strain on their sick joke of a relationship, but they learned to whisper their darker conversations at night when only skeleton staff were on duty.
Eric was emphatically not the carey-sharey type of bloke but he had found he needed to talk to his partner, really talk, to keep grounded. Those days without Alan had been hell. Eric must have gone to work during them, he was an exemplary reaper after all, but all he could remember was white walls. Ironic that Alan was his anchor when nowadays the younger reaper was so light he may as well have been weightless. Alan, always his light.
Alan was resting on the bed and Eric was careful not to disturb his partner when he climbed in beside him. He needed his rest.
Eric didn't like this mattress. At home they had worn through more than a few and although a saggy mattress wasn't brilliant, rolling together sometimes led to pleasant unplanned happenings. The only dip he could feel in the mattress he lay on now was around Eric himself.
He teased Alan about being only skin and bone but for him to be so very light was worrying. Maybe it was a good thing Alan's body was hidden away by the provided pajamas. Boring brown and red pajamas with a pattern of old man paisley ...a pattern which didn't show up blood speckles too badly when his partner had a prolonged coughing fit. The only other option was floral and Alan had outlined in no uncertain terms what Eric would not be having the privilege of if he even joked about him looking pretty in girls' clothes.
Alan was though. Pretty as girl. Prettier. Even when he woke Eric one night with a scared confession to clumps of hair coming away while he combed. Bless Alan, fussing over his chestnut locks just like a girl. Thinning hair for a reaper was worrying, but Eric managed not to show his concern and simply paid more attention to Alan's hair than usual. Just in case. Eric subtly took note of its colour, its texture, how that long sweeping fringe framed Alan's delicate features perfectly. His lover's crowning glory was back to normal in a few days and Eric mentally breathed a sigh of relief before thinking no more of it. Sometimes Alan's medication did odd things.
They were ok for the moment though. Apart from the mattress. It smelt wrong. It barely registered his partner's scent at all even when Alan was right there next to him. Eric hated this mattress. Much better to forget all about it for a while and make the most of his boyfriend being awake and smiling gently.
Alan's touch was so light nowadays, this was like kissing a memory. They used to kiss properly. Why couldn't they kiss properly? Ok, so Alan was... ill but a real kiss couldn't do that much harm surely. Eric lifted his hand, intent on slipping it into his lover's silky hair to hold him close, but Alan moved out of range before he could touch him.
"Eric... I can't... I'm sorry, Eric. But I, ah, I don't mind when you... you know."
If Alan blushed any brighter he was going to burn pillow away and Eric didn't have any words, staring mutely at his "lover" before he closed his eyes and rolled over onto his side, his back now to the other reaper. It was noticeable Alan was not even letting his back touch Eric's.
Alan minded, of course he minded. Eric knew. There was once a time when they couldn't get enough of each other, to go solo felt like betrayal.
Dead silence in the room. Sometimes he hated that reapers didn't have to breathe.
The two of them were going on a trip today. Alan wanted to see the ericas so Eric was going to bust him out of here, he hadn't figured out how yet, but where they were going was a real beauty spot. Tall, sturdy trees and a pretty little weir further on down the lane. He would have to encourage Alan to lean on him if they went down that way though, it was slippery and all manner of things got smashed on the rocks. Eric had even imagined he had seen a deathscythe wedged blade side up there once. It was dangerous. As was dwelling too long on that line of thought.
Besides, Alan was the sentimental one out of the two of them, filling their flat, their real home, with useless knick-knacks although lately it had been Eric smuggling things into these borrowed rooms ready for the flit. A dinner knife here, a tester pot of jam there. Eric wasn't sure where Alan was stashing them as he could never find them again when looked for them.
But Alan was going to have scones. He loved scones. Sometimes, if they had been getting on really well, Alan would be cheeky about the cream but right now the poor boy was fading away. Alan was practically see-through with barely any meat on his bones to keep the heat in and Eric found it disgusting that the Dispatch's budget was so tight this bedroom had big puffy wall coverings instead of a proper fire. Still, it was warm in here, even feverish at times. He put up with it for Alan's sake; he didn't want to see his partner with ashen skin and pale lips again.
On days like today, when Eric found it too stuffy, he had taken to lazing around shirtless. He would dress properly before they stole away in the night but right now they were simply relaxing together, Alan ghosting his fingers over Eric's fringe while he rested. This was nice. Peaceful. Eric smiled without opening his eyes when Alan kissed his forehead and whispered that he would be right back, padding away at roughly the same time Eric became aware of the steps in the corridor.
With a sigh the tall reaper hauled himself off the bed and stood to greet the visitors. Alan would probably nag him about being improper but the stuffed suits who had burst into the room after only the most cursory of knocks had started it by being bloody rude.
"Eric Slingby. With regret, it is the decision of the board to euthanize-"
What?! NO! This could not be happening. They were so close, so damned close.... This trip was going to be the last one anyway, why couldn't they let Alan see something beautiful before he drifted away like snow. One last look at the stars. Oh gods, he didn't want to think about that. What were they saying? He had missed a few words.
"-unfit to carry out duties despite repeated-"
Thank gods Alan was in the next room, it would break his heart to hear that. It was the only reason Eric was keeping silent, for now. This was serious stuff though. Alan really should know what the charges were before they argued against them. Where was that bloody door? All the insulated walls looked the same but his clever boyfriend had the knack of finding the way into the other room. All right. The hard way. Eric began calling for his partner and planned, if he had to, to cut through the reapers between them and the door he could see. He and Alan had a date today.
"-and varied treatments, prolonged due to exceptional past services rendered. All rehabilitation attempts have failed-"
How many suits were there? Two, no, four. Six? Reap it, they were hard to focus on when his vision was blurring. He would figure out what was making his eyes water later, for now better to focus on the reapers closest to him and work from there. So. One reaper helping him to sit and another taking his arm. That was kind, Eric was feeling a bit shocky. He raised his voice still further. Where was his boyfriend? T'ch! Couldn't the evening injection have waited? The surprise made his voice crack. He could have sworn he had already had his jab today. Where the hell was Alan? Eric would stop shouting just as soon as his partner came back.
"-since the death of Alan Humphries, eighteen months previous."