Lines for Professor Snape...LINES I HAVE DONE DURING DETENTIONS FOR PROFESSOR SNAPELines for Professor Snape...3 years ago in Humor More Like This
Sarcasm masquerading as wit is unacceptable and unappreciated (these lines are not at all hypocritical)
"Ruler of World" is not a valid career choice
I will be treated like a moron until such time as I have proven Professor Snape wrong
(Which is never)
"Unbreakable" is a classification not a challenge
After the first four times it can no longer be accepted as an 'accident' and must instead be classed as 'stupidity'
I must not scare the first years into hysterics (that is Professor Snape's job)
When told to pay attention the correct answer is "Yes Professor Snape" and not "Why, are you going to do a trick?"
If I insist on saying stupid things, I will be forced to write stupid things-
A watched cauldron will boil and muggle sayings are stupid
I must not go through with my plan to turn Professor S
Norse vs Greek, the gods argue over which is best.Odin: I am Odin king of the Norse gods and maker of the nine worlds.Norse vs Greek, the gods argue over which is best.2 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Zeus: I am Zeus king of the Greek gods. We only have two worlds.
Odin: Really? Just two, don't you get bored? Why didn't you make more.
Zeus: Well, um, I didn't actually make any worlds.
Odin: Seriously? So why are you king of the gods?
Zeus: well me and my brothers are the oldest gods and we drew lots, Hades got the underworld, Posiedon got the sea and I got the air.
Odin: Right, so what do you do?
Zeus: Hey, I am the king of the gods, I control the weather and make storms and lightning.
Odin: I have one of those. THOR.
Odin: This guy makes storms too.
Thor: We should do battle to see who is the strongest.
Zeus: Ummm, give me a minute. I have to get my blacksmith to make my lightning bolts.
Thor: Wait you don't even make the lightning your self? That's a bit rubbish. Tell you what, to make it fair, no lightning, instead we will use our weapons. As king of the gods you must have a powerful magical weapon.