MattyDear Matthew,Matty6 years ago in Biography & Memoir More Like This
You probably don't remember me.
In fact, I know you don't. But, hi.
My name is Kate.
I am your sister.
I have only one memory of you -- and I'm not even sure of that. I think that I remember walking (that is, as much as two-year-olds can walk) into that hospital room, hardly able to stand. I think that I remember my grandmother pulling me up by one arm; remember moving around the big heavy door, yelling, "Mommy, Mommy!"
Of course I remember the beeping machines, the tubes, the fluorescent lighting -- a bundle of sheets
A Love I Can't Define~A Love I Can't DefineA Love I Can't Define3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I can't even begin to describe
The beauty I see in you
It's like a drug I can't prescribe
Cause I know what it'll do
You are the high of my day
I look forward to seeing your smile
Even though I can't meet your eyes
Or find the right words to say
I still admire you all the while
I hide in this awkward disguise
Your eyes are the perfect shade of green
Like a forest, full of wild ambition
Your gaze focused; naturally keen
I lose myself in their suspicion
I can hardly breathe next to you
You captivate my every attention
I lose my mind, trying to appear calm
Trapped in anxious admiration
My whole world is a colorless hue
Fantasizing about holding your prescious palm
You have soft, pouty lips
A gentle shy shade of rose
Fragile; tempting; my hand grips
Hiding; fighting not to expose
This curious ember lit within my heart
Burning in the pit of my abdomen
Tearing me apart
Tearing me open
I hunger for knowledge of you
I thirst for your conversation
Because I'm fascinated,
Out of Sight, Out of Mind~Out of Sight, Out of MindOut of Sight, Out of Mind4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I don't know how to speak
It's as if I've lived a lie
I feel exposed and weak
A truth I can't deny.
My body bears the scars
Irrational fears raging
Like a dog chasing cars
Collared and caging.
I flinch and wince in surrender.
I hide. I run. I'm so afraid.
Shredded in this tragic blender,
I tear. Battered and frayed.
Afraid of what? A memory?
A memory I can't remember.
A memory polished in emory,
Burning in the spark of an ember.
This memory haunting me.
Rotting me from the inside out.
A truth too blurred to see.
A truth that fogs me with doubt.
It plagues my dreams; day and night.
Looking over my shoulder; waiting.
Distracted, out of mind, out of sight.
Shadows taunting, calling, baiting.
I don't want to give in to the fear.
I just want to be free. Let me go.
How am I bound? Year after year?
By a scar my mind won't let me know?
Writing Her Name[Writes project partner's name on paper. Freezes.]Writing Her Name4 years ago in Drama More Like This
I almost put a heart by her name.
[Fingers squeeze the center of forehead.]
I was this close.
[Girl asks if okay. Nods and gets lost in thought.]
Talk about problematic. That's not something I can charmingly roll off. She knows what I am. She may even know how I feel.
[Glances at girl. Girl smiles. Smiles back.]
I'm not looking to confirm that. She misses school and I feel a bit . . . off. It's like forgetting to get your favorite jacket before you leave the house. Something's not right.
[Rubs arms. ]
I mean, I really dig her. If I was a shovel and she was the ground, I would dig three feet. Not too deep, not to shallow. If I were in love with her, I would be digging six feet. 'Cause being in love someone you can't have is like digging your own grave.
By goodness, do I know how it feels to be six feet under holding on to the thought of someone. Just the thought. Never get
SheTight jeansShe4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
She's in her teens
Always making 180 routines
They don't know just what she means
Her words heartfelt
She cant stand to write misspelt
She could write a book with what she's dealt
She avoids the groups
She can't stand to see a snoop
Ask her, she'll say they've flown the coop
She won't give chase
She has enough people on her case
She'll retreat back to homebase
She'll blow radars
Invisible from afar
Her voice a well used guitar
Extreme value, a pearl
Free of any kind of burl
Ready for anything you hurl
But It Always Felt WrongShe sat in her room alone one dayBut It Always Felt Wrong4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Wearing a tight fit t shirt and skinny jeans
Her hair pulled back in a pony tail
She stared blankly into the mirror across the room
She looked confused worried and scared
Her mom yelled to her from just outside the bedroom door
"Karli what are you up to?"
But she didn't answer
She just sat there
Karli wasn't there
But parker was
Parker sat there staring into the mirror
Uncomfortable in the close that just felt too tight
And missing the baseball cap he found comfort in
A tear flowed down his face as he thought about what they called him
It wasn't "Fag" or "freak" or "idiot" that hurt him so bad
It was "Karli"
Something that they have called him his whole life
But it always felt wrong
It always felt like an insult and only added more confusion
He closed his eyes wishing that when he opened them
That no one would call him a name that didn't belong
That he could wear the clothes that he needed to to be himself
That he could find comfort in his b