TidesI tried to stop myselfTides2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
from being drawn to you
For a while I had forgotten
but then I spent a few hours with you
and they crushed all semblance of reality
like a fucking bug and I knew
then that I was hopelessly
dead-weighted underwater for you.
LiarYour smile is just as genuine as it was last week,Liar3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and I'm still fighting with those thread-thin
self-inflicted stings on my right arm.
I can tell you there is never any blood.
I found another needle in my skin.
There isn't a better word for lonely.
I won't dance again.
My circulation is too poor,
I can't feel my legs.
I'm cold all day.
My fingertips are numb
You can feel them shaking.
I can't wipe that look you gave me from my mind.
It hurt, and I know you didn't want
to let that taint your face
and I said "I'm sorry."
You said "It's fine."
I still don't believe you.
I am terrified of abandonment.
I know you said you won't ever leave me
while I'm awake, like God,
only God's a liar.
I'm in control of myself.
I'm still fighting those visible ribs.
I can tell you the tension isn't friendly
It's not my posture.
Do you know what running water sounds like?
It's in the back of my mind
trickling through my eyes.
at least we can walk together now.
Double DamagedThe cultural cure was felt as she sheared off her hair.Double Damaged2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Persistently, Hatred swallowed the forensic evidence
burying her desperation beneath layers of cotton.
She plastered a behavioral anecdote over torn skin
and vowed not to let them get to her so easily.
She created a personal joke, once consumed by her fear
now showing confidence so bright it almost blinded.
Hatred paused in reflection, accusation a rhetoric,
The tides turned once more against her confidence
They gained another teenaged sacrifice.
Give He knew another wave of nausea was coming. He gagged on it. There was no relief for the crawling lurch to his stomach. again his throat spasmed and liquid poured from him like a fucking rainstorm. He was dirty, filthy, worthless. Like food chewed and spat up.Give2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
He wasn't good. His fingers clenched into his thighs, digging canyons, creating rivers. Not enough Another storm surge washed up is throat, now burned raw. His chest heaved, ribs flaring out like oars dipping into water. The night changed to dawn with his face pressed to the cool porcelain. The day remained gray as he slept through this mood.
It started once more with scratching, tearing holes into gifts he'd been given, and shredding pictures from the past. His mind flooded and went blank. He didn't fight it this time. Nausea never came.
Truth and Revelation in the ConstellationsYou know behind the tumultTruth and Revelation in the Constellations2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in your brain lies the secret
to the trajectory of the stars as they fall.
How could it not? Each phase of fantasy
holds some grain of your pain.
A hollow needle pierces a portion of your torso,
a vast, whooshing gulp of air slips
into your lungs and despair instead sates you.
The cant of your hips is bound to the the answer or
a response to the angle of the moon to the tides when it's full.
Or maybe in the splay of your true ribs
resting between your fingers as they stroke
holds a thunderous truth, the
cold betrayal of trust, a heresy,
but burnt filament and dying embers only cause
a very small portion of your scars.
The others are hidden where leaves fall.
They are never meant to be rose red in October,
but here we are, counting the shades found only
in lipsticks, the palm of your hand opened
To catch Orion's Belt in midwinter.
I love you, too, but you'll never know how much I owe you.
You and I dreamt my death.
Eloquence Played In PairsI craveEloquence Played In Pairs2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Cut Time Dig sonatas into your thighsCut Time2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
knowing that they're never written
for you. The ones written
in the moonlight, reeking of lust
and a cacophony of dissonance,
are the ones your mind screams
Shutter StuckThere's some part of you that's been institutionalized.Shutter Stuck2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You are some kind of ritual I repeat to myself
to keep calm and I know that I depend too much on
Over-the-counter medications but you're one of those things
I'm addicted to that I'll never, ever, give up.
There's an inherent healing quality about you that's been memorialized.
You make it so damn hard to remember the universe-shit-stain
that is my existence. An eternity locked inside a box that is my gender
and my fingertips can hold no key that isn't bloody.
I've been foggy. I've been exhausted on ten hours of sleep
I've felt caffeine shudder through my veins until I'm sick.
You're the Valium to the panic switch. I'll breathe.
Capture the moment, stuck here again.
I'll be institutionalized in your memory.
Motherhood AloneA little boy sits asks,Motherhood Alone3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
"Are you happy mama?"
She turns to him,
smiling dryly like only mothers can,
a grin not quite reaching her tear ducts,
She coughs once replying,
"Of course I am, pumpkin."
He giggles like only small children do,
curls his little hands in hers,
a curly-haired spitting-image
brown-eyed reminder of his father.
In quiet, she cries.
PoisonI tasted your lip-spilled liePoison3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
as it stained your red t-shirt.
It flows from your mouth freely before you can stop it.
No - no, don't stop now,
I want to know just how far you can weave.
Before you're entangled.
Your honey-sweetened words flit past your teeth
before you clamp them shut and look at me
your eyes begging me.
Believe this one, just this once, trust me.
I nod and smile, but there's little you can do
to mend my doubts now.
My fixation is shattered on the floor.
Pretty liar, love,
your lies are intoxicating.
Before you know it,
I've been there.
I've no throat.
It's what I get for swallowing ammonia
just to get the taste of dishonesty
out of my skin, my tongue, lips.
Until you swallow ammonia,
be a liar.
TaxidermyMake me wax and make me wireTaxidermy2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Burn the cables, burn the ties
Stitch quick, stitch sure
Glue falsity to my skin
Please spirit away the gore
Make my cheeks flush red
Give my eyes a sparkle
Make me a lie I can believe
InsomniaI can think up a safer place for my sticky,Insomnia2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
twisted bones, and find a great cavern for
the gasping load of my oxygen intake.
Safer than this hollowed out body.
Feeling deep red gashes, I know that
my tongue tastes imagined bubblegum.
Anesthesia lasts and lasts.
CiceroneShow me another way to think.Cicerone2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Show me a paved corridor through the dungeon of my mind.
I want to watch you form words with your lips;
See them take root in your mind and spread up through your throat
and bloom from your tongue. Show me you know what I mean.
Show me a new puzzle, someone I haven't figured out yet.
Order of OperationsWe're all thieving, polluting criminals, aren't we?Order of Operations2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You twist cotton and facades, forming a curtain of
pity me, pity me, pity me
and all the sane want to do is
smother you, smother you, smother you.
We're all thieving, polluting criminals,
if we don't listen to you, if we don't pity you
and I do not wish to pity you.