The Facts Of Till Lindemann
1. One night, out of boredom, Till Lindemann performed some light vocal practice that caused a massive explosion that experts recognize today as “The Big Bang.”
2. It is widely believed that Freddy Krueger was burned to death by the parents of Springwood for murdering their children, when in fact Freddy was actually burned to death by one of Till Lindemann's many flame throwers.
3. Till Lindemann created the world's first tidal wave by doing mild swimming exercises.
4. Godzilla's powers were bestowed upon him by Till Lindemann.
5. When confronted with a zombie horde, Till Lindemann simply does the legendary mosh move:The Till Hammer. This move causes the zombies to literally tear themselves a part out of fear.
6. While he is an atheist, Till Lindemann enjoys the Christmas season because it allows him to release his pet, a creature known as 'Krampus' to get some fresh air and terrorize disobedient children.
7. Lightsabers break on contact with Till Lindemann's muscles.