Gas Masks + Eating Disorders.Slap my faceGas Masks + Eating Disorders.10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Pinch my skin
Laugh at my body
I give up, you win.
Nothing shall pass
Through these lips
Only the air I breathe
I know that wont go to my hips.
The fabric gripping
To my face
No longer can you see
The tears that you chase.
Only breathing in air
My body grows thin
Your teasing gets worse
But you can't grab my skin.
Such an ugly white room
The lights too bright
People rushing everywhere
In and out of sight.
People try to pry off my mask
But to no avail
Defeat sets in their eyes
Yet again darkness prevails...
E.D. - D.E.E.D.- D.E.E.D. - D.E.9 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Day 1: FINE
Tip (note to self: Tips are only for people who want to end up like me.) : You know, if you wait until you're already late you have an excuse to skip breakfast. And, if you tell your friends that you had a huge breakfast, and that is why you were late to class/homeroom, again, you can skip lunch. No questions Asked.
Hey, reader. I could write a book of different ways not to have to eat. I dont know what it is, it may be a control thing, like they say, the doctors, but I think, you just feel better when youre empty inside. Its like youre getting somewhere you have been waiting to go. Every time you eat it feels like a huge detour and you spend your time waiting to be empty again, so you can get back on the road. Speeding wildly until you have to detour again .
Im not anorexic you know. I dont have a disorder.
Listen eating disorderShhhh.Listen eating disorder7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Can anyone hear it.
Shhhhhh, I said.
Do you hear it?
The heart pounds heavy
the hands grow shaky
the anxiety rips through
her tightening insides.
Can you hear it yet?
Its so loud,
It echos in her head
pounding off the sides.
Vibrating her pounding heart.
Cant you hear her?
out for you
our for anyone
anyone to hear her.
But noone will
They dont know how.
Her life is a shallow
schedule of events.
Knowledge of every
she could ever want
or ever reach for.
Always pinching skin,
Mirrors stalk her,
Food haunts her.
how much food
how less food
when to purge
her miles ran
her push ups...
She tries so hard to
find the normal life
BulimiaShove your finger down your throatBulimia10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Watch yourself explode
As your insides turn against you
And come out
Watch them splatter in the sink
As your own guilt weighs upon you
Begs you to stop
But you ignore it's pleads
You're in too far to quit now
You've worked too hard to quit now
You're too close to being beautiful to quit now
This is the closest you have ever been
You can almost feel the victory within you
Soon others will finally see you,
Will finally know that you exist,
Will finally have to accept you as you are
But little do you know
That the finger that you use
Is the trigger to the gun
That ends you life
bulimia nervosa, in d minoryou're very pretty, in a heart-wrenching kind of way.bulimia nervosa, in d minor5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
your scrawny arms, usually sporting silver or gold bracelets which look more alive than you sometimes, your skin is so frighteningly pale.
he loves you, you know.
yes. you know.
your arms lead up to your shoulder blades, like branches on a delicate tree. a willow.
a weeping willow.
shoulder blades. razor sharp, those, sticking out of your back as if they had been wrenched apart and away
he wonders whether you want to fly. one day you told him,
sometimes, i'd like to fade away. have you ever thought of that? just close my eyes and disappear.
i wouldn't die, no, not exactly. i would still feel the wind blowing through my hair, i would still see the grass rustling, maybe i could even stand up and feel
it beneath my feet. i love the feel of dew, you know. it's such a gentle complement to the scratchy blades.
you always go off on tangents such as these. other roads. other ways. other trains
of thought. you aren't very
This one is Mine.I see the look in your eye as you follow her around the room,This one is Mine.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I saw the poem you wrote, and told her she'd know whom.
Who it was for is what she asked, and walked off without a clue,
And you stared at her back whispering "I love you.".
Well, I'm going to be nice and give you a warning here,
This one is mine, and only mine, do I make myself clear?
I know she loves me more than words can express,
And I tell you, she is mine, that girl in that dress.
I read that poem, and I must tell you something,
I love her, and she loves me, for me she would do anything.
So, whatever you're waiting for, the right place, the right time?
Stop waiting, because I'm not letting go, I'm telling you. She's mine.
Eating Disorders Equal PainShe wantsEating Disorders Equal Pain5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
To be thin like
A model, so she
Reaches down her throat and makes herself
Vomit up everything
Inside her stomach.
Nothing will be left but
Her body does not
Understand why it is being punished. It did
Not do anything wrong. Why would she
Go and do that to it?
Every bone in her body
Reaches out for help.
She hates the body she was given, and wants to
It hates her for being so cruel, and
Not letting it grow like it should be able to.
Noontime finds her puking up her lunch, and
You walk away like you heard nothing.
A horrible body like this one is
Not fit for living on this earth.
Only the skinniest women should ever
Every model is beautiful, but
X-rays show that their bodies are
A starving girl cries when she's alone.
Beauty is being so thin that your
Underwire in your bra has nothing to hold up, because you
Lost another cup size.
I starve myself to be beautiful. I want to look in the
Mirror and see someone that
I am happy with. I could
200 Point Giveaway! (CLOSED!)*This contest is CLOSED! The winner was #71 or :iconChristieMars:! http://tinypic.com/r/257fvd5/6200 Point Giveaway! (CLOSED!)3 years ago in Personal More Like This
Alright, so as a thank you to my watchers, and to everybody here at dA...I'm hosting a giveaway!
Let me break it down for ya:
The prize? 200 !
Rules? You don't have to be watching me, but I do suggest faving this journal (not mandatory). Leave ONE* comment, and I'll give you a #.
How do you win? If your number's chosen, you win! I'll use random.org to choose the winner.
End date? September 1st at 11:59 CST. Make sure to comment before then!
*If you comment more than once, it kinda screws up my numbering. SO, if you do comment more than once, I'll hide ALL of your comments and you won't be entered. Fair warning, guys.