You Pushed MeIt's bad enough then,You Pushed Me4 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
When they say,
"You'll never be anything!"
"You cut yourself for fun!"
"You're disgusting, get away from me!"
"You've been nothing but a dissapointment."
"Look at what you've done!"
"You're so ugly!"
"Such a failure."
"No one likes you, get away!"
"If you want to kill yourself so badly, then just do it!"
Just because we're not normal, doesn't mean we're not people.
Just because we're not like them we're exempt.
Just because we're not perfect,
That's what pushed us to a suicide attempt.
It seems to me, tha
'Happy'You can look over at me,'Happy'3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
And see me smiling.
But I'm really dying.
Being a source of entertainment.
I've tried to escape this before,
All I am is a puppet,
And I don't want that anymore.
I'm here to see you smile,
And to make you happy.
That's the only reason I'm still here now,
I thought you had saved me.
I was wrong; I don't matter, not to you
You don't get it's just a show.
That all this smiling is an act,
At least, You'll never know.
I'm keeping this from you,
For your own safety.
I'll keep hiding,
What's going on inside me.
Because you seem to think it's my job,
To make you happy.
You'd all fall apart,
Without something to
I'm afraid. . . I might drop the pen. . . . . . .I'm afraid. . . I might drop the pen. . . . . . .1 year ago in Emotional More Like This
. . . . . They're at it again.
"My mind. . . . It's playing with me again.
The voices. . . . they just wont stop. . . . . . .
&& they're. . . . driving me crazy."
I feel pathetic, weak. . . . . stupid.
I just want them to stop!
I'm begging you!
Those painful memories. . . . . . that voice. . . . . please!
"Please go away please go away please go away please go away. . . . . . "
I'm scared, It won't shut up!
&& I'm about to lose it. . . . . . . .
"PLEASE. . . . !"
"You piss me off"
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"You're not good enough, just end it. . ."
Our Lullaby. . . . .Our Lullaby. . . . .1 year ago in Emotional More Like This
"Look at it.
What do you see?"
It's bleeding. . . . it's hurt. . . .
Try touching it and it'll break. . . . .
It's weak. . .
protected by those thorns. . . .
*Heh. . . . . silly one. . . . . . it's only hurting itself.*
But it was YOU.
Because of you,
your exclusion. . .
Your lullaby. . . .
Try talking to it words of love.
And see how it breaks. . . . slowly and painfully. . . . . .
LEAVE IT ALONE
it's trying to heal.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Black Parade ~ The EndThe Black Parade ~ The End9 months ago in Profiles More Like This
I was laid out in my hospital bed, greeting my family members and friends; most of their faces with smudged mascara and eyeliner. My time was almost over, I must admit. I was terrifyingly sick and it would soon be time for people to throw on their black outfits and get a coffin laid out for me. "You should stop cutting, love. You know how beautiful you are. At least you do not wake up every morning looking like this " I was saying to my troubled sister while pointing at my body. She gave me a sad nod with a sigh and walked away. Next was my little cousin. He was very young, just
It all beginsIt all begins9 months ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I am glad if you have found this. I am writing this so that everypony will know the facts of what has happened here. I have done a lot of research into all of the events that have taken place and have found the truth. Well as close to it as I can. I have written this as a story for it is the only way that somepony who was not there would ever truly understand.
I suppose I will start with the weekend everything really started. In a small Ice Cream Parlor in Hoovesdail.
"Hi Totty" said Crazie Pie with a sly grin on her face. As she walked up to the counter in front of that Totty, a dark green pegasus with a sky blue mane.
Coffin Chapter 2Coffin Chapter 21 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Search the woods for anything that could be useful, everything that was teeming with life in a 15km radius from me has vanished fearing me. Why can't things just be easier? I mean being alone out here in the forest is hard enough but these eyes of mine make it worse. The blood red rubies that make my eyes, black would mean bloodlust but it wasn't up to that stage yet I mean what could possibly go wrong?
But that's when I saw him, in a misfits shirt, long black hair, blue glacier eyes that would make anyones heart melt. His tight leather pants and his so abnormally skinny. There wasn't even enough blood in him to even sustain me for one nigh
My Fallen Angel ~(Andy Biersack Love Story)~ Chp 2My Fallen Angel ~(Andy Biersack Love Story)~ Chp 21 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Just a quick warning, there is some damn strong language in here. So...viewer be warned! Anywho, give me your opinion, and..well..enjoy! :D
I placed my cold cup of soda on my mouth, relaxing as the coolness started to numb the pain. Andy stared at me like I was insane. We had gone to small cafe that was just down the street from the alleyway. Andy had explained to me that he was skipping out on the photoshoot their manager was forcing them to do.
"So why are you skipping that shoot again?" I asked.
"Why are you putting your cup to your face?" He asked.
"I asked you first." I replied
Rebel Love Song (Chapter 2)Rebel Love Song (Chapter 2)1 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Andy's head lolled against my shoulder as he finally slipped into unconsciousness.
He hadn't meant what he said. He was just drunk, he didn't really love me. I told myself this over and over as I opened his precious journal and flipped to his last entry.
Ashley doesn't even notice how I stare at him all day. I guess it's for the best because he would hate me if he knew my real feelings. But I'll always love my Outlaw. we can leave it all behind, never gonna change my mind, nothings gonna stop us, no not this time
Andy really did care about me. He loved me I looked down at the j
The young BVB chapter 9: Its not a diary!The young BVB chapter 9: Its not a diary!1 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The Young BVB chapter 9: Its not a Diary!
-- Ashley's P.O.V--
My mom got me this cool notebook, it was black and had little studs around it.It also Had a lock, so I wright about my day in it. IT IS NOT A DIARY! That is for girls! I'm a man, A BIG STRONG MAN!! To be exact! So any-who's Here is my first entry in my " Journal, Not a stupid Diary.''
At school today CC stole my Cheetos, I tried to take em back but that stupid little lion outsmarted this Zebra. And Yes I love zebra's, Zebras are legit. So after Five minuets of non stop running I gave up. I sat back down And just drank my flipping monster and ate my flipping Pe
My Fallen Angel ~(Andy Biersack Love Story)~ Chp 1My Fallen Angel ~(Andy Biersack Love Story)~ Chp 11 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I figured I'd put this up here, so everyone had a chance to read this first. I'm testing the waters with this story. I'm going to use the reaction from the audience to judge whether or not I'll continue it. Your guys' reaction will determine whether or not I go ahead and write chapter two. The main deciding factor on me even posting this chapter was because of one of my best friends, Lexyloveshim. After she read it, she demanded I upload it! And upload I did!
But, enough with formalities!
I watched the rain drops race each other as the slid down the window of the big yellow bus I
September's Children - Chapter 2September's Children - Chapter 21 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
CHAPTER 2 How Fucking Cute
Going back to school was hard. Harder than it had ever been before. I knew my friends would be worried about me and my seemingly newfound habits, but I didn't want them to be. I didn't want people I didn't know to pity me. I didn't want anyone to ask me how I was doing. Of course I'd lie and say I was fine, but the questions still hurt.
I didn't know how long I could keep lying to everyone. I was afraid that at any moment, I'd completely break down.
I walked to school without looking up once. My house wasn't far from school, only a couple blocks, so I walked every day. I had worn all black to symbolize
You Little CuntYour beating heart should be ripped and taken apart piece by piece,You Little Cunt2 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
That is only skin deep to what you really deserve because,
It's like I swallowed a serrated butchers knife dipped in acid,
and you are the one who plunged it deep into my shattered heart,
Normally I'm a kind and caring individual and say nice things to people,
To you though, I will rage and scream until my throat bleeds,
And say the words that describe you for who you truly are,
But I won't,
I won't dedicate another second,
Not even another millisecond to you,
You little cunt!
What is beauty?What is beauty?What is beauty?2 months ago in Emotional More Like This
When I look into the mirror, I see myself, I see my face, my body...me. And I think: Ugly, I am ugly. I am fat, my hair isn't long enough, my skin not clear enough, my eyes the wrong blue, the cold blue, my face too round, my nose too big, my legs too short, my waist too big, my breasts too small. I look into the mirror and I see all these things, and maybe they are true, maybe not.
I have been defined, the definition is ugly. But who defined me. Who gave me this sickness? The inability to see myself as beautiful.
Who said that anorexic models we see on television are beautiful? We see people, and think they are ideal, and
AwfulHere I am;Awful3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
My heart racing and my mind speeding.
How could she?
I knew things were bad,
I didn't realize just how awful though.
I can't even begin to picture
what must have been going through her head.
Well, I know from experience I must admit.
But she is so perfect, and lovely.
She deserves better, to feel better.
I never thought she would want to end it.
I can't even imagine her picking up the gun,
Bringing it to her head,
Closing her eyes,
Counting slowly to ten.
I feel like i'm going to be sick.
I'm just so lucky that she was interrupted.
Because a world with out her is no place for me.
So I lay awake, restless over
ChangeThe cliche phrase that sticks and stones will break your bones,Change3 months ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
But words will mentally scar you forever.
It will fuck you up and screw your mind
The negativity and self-hate intertwined.
Everyone who’s ever hurt you, called you pathetic or weak
Don’t know a thing about you, yet still critique.
What people don’t know is that everyone has a story
Bullies are just insecure people who do it for the glory.
They want to be known, and they want to be seen,
But there are ways to do this without being mean.
All the people, all the victims feel alone, like nobody understands,
And all it takes is to stop what you’re doing and r
It's not talked about much.It's not talked about much.It's not talked about much.3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Or if it is, it's a joke or something.
It's seen and misconcepted.
But more people than you think do it.
I found out two people who I knew did it.
Also having done it myself.
Even the reasons people do it aren't always correct.
Sometimes the reason gets lost with the person themselves as they get tangled up.
It's something I've always supported.
Somethimg I'm awefully hypocritical about...
Falling in LoveI fell into what can only be explainedFalling in Love3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
as thin air.
Filling every inch of space
from me to you.
That attraction pulling me from afar,
over all rocky mountains and oceans.
What I feel is the thrill of free falling,
like butterflies are fluttering around in my belly,
gently caressing my soul.
If they ever left…
they would surely return,
with only a single glance of soft creases,
surrounding your shimmering eyes.
I'll hold you as if the sun thought,
"No, I'm not going to work today."
And the moon...
trudging forth around the Earth,
clung to blackness,
that could never be brightened.
I'll hold you as If today is the last day,
How?I was saying I felt depressed.How?3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I was using glass to stratch myself for a while.
I had suicidal thoughts.
I drew butterflies.
I felt alone and abandoned.
How did I not click that I had depression until August 2012...
How is it that... I told my friend, which is ment to being a good thing.
Lead on to cutting...
How did telling most of my friends...
Lead to a set date?
How did telling someone... seeking help...
change that set date by a month?
How did nearly 2 month of no cutting...
Just made me hate myself more?
The MirrorSometimes I wonder why I wasn't enough for him.The Mirror3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Spending hours, looking at the person in the mirror with a hatred. There are so many faults and flaws, I can't keep count.
The way my hair parts.
How my nose curves.
My lips, which could have never appealed to his.
My collar bones, barley showing.
My thighs, my stomach.
I was not enough of this and that, being to much of everything else.
Yes, sometimes I wonder why I wasn't enough for him.
But I never wonder for very long.
I know I could never compare to her.
Sweetest DoomWhen she's staring into space,Sweetest Doom3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
She is in her own place.
There she's safe,
Not even her best friend knows the depth of the troubles,
Every day she will face.
Can't erase any trace of the pain from her face.
She's got cuts on her wrists,
Got a list of every kiss
She will kiss.
Then she'll jump off that cliff.
No more lies.
Love in her heart,
Heart in her sleeve,
The very shirt she gave to me.
Peaceful dreams she dreams of the day,
She'll be free.
Ghosts still haunt her,
From her past.
They're still there,
And they won't go back.
She's made up her mind,
She closes her eyes,
SelfishI’m sorry I’m so selfish.Selfish3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I didn’t mean to come across as rude or inconsiderate,
Nor thoughtless or uncaring.
I honestly had no idea that someone else could be hurt.
I didn’t think anyone would mind or care the slightest.
But now everyone is angry with me, and everyone is yelling.
I didn’t think I was being selfish,
Not as I empty the bottles of pills into my mouth.
Not when I slid a blade across my skin,
Not when I didn’t leave a note or letter explaining why.
Not when I awoken to fuzzy faces in a hospital room.
But I should be, because “I didn’t ask for help.”
Because I &ldqu
I'm Still LaughingIt really is quite funny.I'm Still Laughing3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
How one second I'm in tears,
over how I don't know whether to live or die.
Then I'm making cruel cruel jokes about when I'm going to commit suicide.
I am true bitch.
An total shit.
I had a nap.
And woke up in the shittest mood.
Made me spill shit.
Then depressed and angry and pissed at myself.
Then fucking alone. Because I depend on my friends and have to talk 24/7 with them.
I have wanted to die for the past, what 4 months.
Full on poof, ding, pop, boom, gone.
But it's only resently I reaslised I'm too much of a parnoid piece of crap to kill myself.
No I'd have to go out and do everything under