A Robins Christmas Carol"Come on, Damian, it will be fun!" said Sam Kane. He was dressed in Victorian costume as a boy of the lower middle class, his blond hair covered with a cap, a mock crutch twirling in his hand (a trick he learned from Dick Grayson, aka Nightwing), and his blue eyes sparkled with Christmas spirit. He and Damian were looking out the window of Wayne Manor's living room at the snow. The room, and the entire mansion, had been decked out for Christmas.
Damian Wayne's blue eyes were as cold as ice. "So? I'm not going to help the poor! It's their fault they are poor!"
"No it's not! You refuse to look at the...."
"Sam, stop trying to quote your brother. And take that costume off! Who are you supposed to be, Tiny Tim?"
"Actually yes; it's my role for the Wayne Foundation Charity Christmas Faire! And I earned it the hard way; auditioning for your dad and Lucius Fox."
Family My name is Jason Todd. Ex-Boy Wonder, current Red Hood. "Ex-Boy Wonder?" You may ask. "But how can someone as brutal as the Red Hood have ever worn pixie boots and scaly underwear?" Well, I wasn't always this brutal. In fact, I used to be a pretty good kid, until the Joker got his hands on me. What do I mean by that? I mean the Joker beat me nearly to death with a crow bar and then blew me up. "But that's not possible." You say. "Batman wouldn't have let that happen. And besides, if you were really blown up, you would be dead." Well, Batman did let it happen. Not only that, but he let the Joker get away with it, too! And I did die, thank you very much. But for reasons still unknown, I came back. I dug myself out of my own grave and basically wondered around without a brain until Talia found me. She's kind of like Bruce's girlfriend, or at least she thinks so. I'm pretty sure she only threw me in the Lazarus Pit because sheFamily3 years ago in Drama More Like This
Teen Titans: No Such Thing As A Normal TeenJoseph Kane awoke one morning in Wayne Manor only to find that only that he was NOT a cockroach (like he was in a very Kafka-esque nightmare the previous evening); but that the place was trashed. Food dishes were piled high, clothes were tossed on furniture, and there was the overripe smell of sweat and hormones. He sighed as he, still in pajamas and bathrobe, helped Alfred Pennyworth clean.Teen Titans: No Such Thing As A Normal Teen2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Teenagers", Joseph swore under his breath.
"Aren't you 19, Master Joseph?" reminded Alfred.
"I'm also a doctor, a Waynetech Executive, and Sam's guardian. Besides, with all that training I did for my now ended superhero career, I didn't really have time to be one." Joseph gingerly picked up one of Bart Allen's shirts. "Does the kid have no concept of laundry? Or does that not exist in the future?"
"I hate to belabor the point, Master Joseph; but you are still young. And you are working towards assuming that career again. You have had a lot on your shoulders since you were young--"
"Not always by m
Nightwing/Ronin: Guy's Night OutIt's early evening as the sun sets behind Wayne Manor. In the living room; Joseph is on his laptop as Sam and Damian play a video game.Nightwing/Ronin: Guy's Night Out2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Damian: I fail to see how this improves the situation
Sam: At least you're not the only kid stuck inside.
Damian: I mean how is making a plumber step on turtles a way of lifting our spirits?
Sam: It's called having fun. And you're just upset because I called Mario!
Damien: Not at all, I find Luigi to be somewhat more tactical but my point is...why are we doing this? I'm not feeling uplifted, this reminds me of what we're missing...even the plants in the pipes are reminiscent of Poison Ivy
Sam: You're just angry because you weren't invited.
Damian: I have just a right to be there!
Sam: It's a grown ups only night!
Damian: I've had more training than some heroes three times my age
Sam: How do you think I feel, at least you are a hero
Nightwing: Small Time VigilanteA couple are arguing in an alleyway.Nightwing: Small Time Vigilante2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Derek: Listen, Brenda, you should calm down.
Brenda: Calm down!? Do you know how much you embarrassed me?!
Tad: *off panel* Hey!
They turn to see a slightly shorter than average, but very muscular, young man approach them. He has short blond hair and blue eyes. He carries a pool cue in his hand.
Tad: Are you harassing the lady?
Derek: None of your business!
Tad: Seems you're trying to rape her.
Tad tilts his head and looks at Brenda
Brenda: *nervous* You're wrong sweetie, we was just talkin'.
Tad: Then why all shaky?
Derek: Piss off, runt!
Tad's face gets a very nasty look on it
Tad: Well that wasn't very nice
Tad brandishes his cue
Tad: Gonna have to teach you a lesson for raping on Tad's turf
Derek: Oh I'm really scared.
Tad: YOU MAKING FUN OF ME!?
Tad hits Derek with the cue, hard.
Tad: Not so funny now, huh!?!
He keeps hitting Derek over and over as Brenda screams. He then stops and looks up at her.
Damian's NightmareDamian's Nightmare2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
My vision finally began to blur as the door slowly opened. I soon became alert. A little figure slowly entered the room. With the curtains opened it was easier to tell the little figure was Damian in his finlet PJ’s with a hood attached to the shirt (curtsy of Alfred), with the light of the moon I could see the tears rolling down his face. I knew what to do after all this was the sixth time this month this has happened. I picked Damian up and walked over to my bed, as I sat down he instantly curled and pressed his face against my body. I realised was hugging the teddy bear I “secretly” put in his room. I rubbed his head and hugged him as the tears went down his face...”The nightmare again?” I asked although I knew the answer. He simply nodded and hugged the teddy bear tighter. Being the eldest of the brothers I feel like this is my responsibility to look after everyone, Damian being the youngest only 10 years old is not exactly your average happy lit
That's the Damian I knowThat's the Damian I know2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
“NOOOOOOO” Nightwing yelled at the top of his lungs. Red Hood dove and caught me, slowly placing me on the ground. The rain was intense yet comforting; I looked down and saw the blood escaping my body. Red Robin kicked Harley Quinn to the floor and came rushing towards me. Batman knocked Joker out and stood in disbelief. “Out of the way, Robin...Oh god” Nightwing was hesitant about touching my wound. “Grayson” I struggled to say with the breath I had left I looked at Batman....”Father.....” he dropped down beside me.
The Joker slowly got up chuckling like a manic, “Well another bird boy down hey?” Jason immediately stood up pointing his gun at Joker “Me...That was alright but a kid? That’s just sick” he said as he shot Joker in the arm.
Nightwing’s Point Of View
I watched as Joker fell to the floor in shock however he still managed to laugh, Tim ran to him and tied him to a pole. My attention went back
Random Scenes at Wayne Manor 1I.Random Scenes at Wayne Manor 13 years ago in Sketches More Like This
Bruce and his lady friend du jour are having sex in Bruce's bedroom and are being somewhat noisy. We cut to the various bedrooms of the other residents of Wayne Manor and their reactions.
Alfred's room. He is simply drinking tea and reading a book by Sarte
Joseph's room. He's typing something
Joseph: (to himself) Ignore it, just ignore it. Finish this assignment, ignore the fact he's getting it on and you still have your goddamn V-Card. Breathe Kane, Breathe.
Sam's room. Barkley is hiding under the desk and Sam has stuck his head between his pillows.
Sam: I just want to sleep!
Damian's room. He's throwing things at the wall.
Damian: FATHER, YOU AND YOUR WHORE SHUT UP AND QUIT HAVING INTERCOURSE AT ONCE! I AM TRYING TO SLEEP!
Damian is training Sam and is mocking him
Damian: Come on, that felt like a breeze to me.
Sam tries to punch again
Damian: That's all you got, pathetic?
Sam attacks again but Damian pushes him to the ground.
Random Scenes at Wayne Manor 2I.Random Scenes at Wayne Manor 23 years ago in Sketches More Like This
The Teen Titans are staying at Wayne Manor for some reason, and Kon and Cassie are having relationship issues due to the love triangle with them and Tim. Kon is sitting on the front stairs as Joseph and Sam pull into the driveway.
Joseph: Something wrong, Superboy?
Sam: You look upset.
Superboy: Cassie and I had an argument. It's like ever since we came here, Tim's been able to show off and seem like to be the perfect boyfriend: rich, athletic....
Joseph: An easy mark.
Superboy: I dunno; it seems like she loves him though.
Sam: Maybe she does.
Joseph: Sam, not helping...Well, fight for her.
Superboy: I thought it was usually frowned upon to fight someone in their own house.
Joseph: You take things literally, don't you?
Superboy: I was made to be a weapon; I still don't have a grasp on subtlety.
Joseph: Well, impress her somehow; maybe something you've done together can be a clue to grab her attention.
Superboy: We've watched movies.
Joseph: What kind?
Superboy: 80s s
Batgirl: Small Steps To RecoveryBatgirl enters through the window to her apartment.Batgirl: Small Steps To Recovery2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Batgirl: *narrating* Ow...how could a woman with a literal hole in her head be that tough...Good thing Alysia isn't here or she'd have a fit! *takes off her cowl* Right now all I want is a hot shower and to cuddle up with Alaska and end my night on a more positive note, like hacking into the GCPD to see what we know about "Absence"
A bit later, Babs is getting ready to settle in for the night when her cell rings.
Babs: Damn it, who would be calling at this hour. *picks up the phone* Who is it?
Batman: *on phone* Barbara....
Babs' mood changes
Babs: Bruce...is something wrong?
Batman: *on phone* I need your help with something....
Babs: Depends on the something.
Batman: *on phone* It's Joseph
Babs reacts, she knows what Batman might be asking her, though we don't.
The next morning, Babs' van pulls up to Wayne Manor, where Alfred is waiting. Sam is sitting on the front stairs with him, petting Barkley. Babs gets out of the van and appro
Goofus Damian and Gallant SamPanel 1: Living room of Wayne Manor, Sam sits on one end of a couchGoofus Damian and Gallant Sam2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Caption: This is Sam Kane
Sam: *waving* Hi!
Panel 2: Damian sits on the other end, he looks grumpy
Caption: This is Damian Wayne
Damian: *arms folded* >TT
A Fistful of Bat-Shorts 2I.A Fistful of Bat-Shorts 21 year ago in General Fiction More Like This
Timeline: After the attack by Jason Todd on Joseph Kane, say a couple months or so
Barbara Gordon enters Wayne Manor; Alfred approaches. Outside, we can see snow falling. Barbara is bundled up.
Alfred: Good morning, Miss Gordon.
Barbara: Morning, Alfred.
Alfred: Let me get you out of that jacket and get you warmed up. I assume you're here to help with Master Joseph's rehab.
Barbara: Yeah, heard he finally got over that flu.
Alfred: Indeed. As he is still recovering from his injuries, his immune system was not adequately strong enough to fend off disease. Let's just say we had a few moments where it was touch-and-go.
Barbara: Well, let's get him back on track.
Alfred: He might not be in the right mental state.
Barbara: Don't tell me he's having a mood swing....
Alfred: More like feeling "blue". You'll see why when you get up there.
Barbara nods and heads upstairs. She enters Joseph's room. Her eyes suddenly become sad
We see Joseph, still in his P
Jingle Bells Batman SmellsJingle Bells Batman SmellsJingle Bells Batman Smells5 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Dashing through the streets
In search of rubber-duck
All the stores sold out
And Flash is out of luck
The last one in the world
Gets mangled in a fight
Crashed into tiny pieces
By the Ultra-Humanite.
Jingle bells, Wally fails
Ducky goes bye bye
Big bad monkey kills the Ducky
And makes the orphans cry
Jingle bells, back to jail
No more breaking toys
Guess they'd settle for Nutcracker
Instead of poopy noise.
Christmas with the Kents
In their lovely Smallville farm
Super-mom and dad
Await with open arms
The boy scout's full of cheer
But J'onn's all doom and gloom
They hole him up in Kara's happy
Pukey girly room.
Jingle bells, Jingle bells
What a tragic day
Oh how wonderful is sulking
And scaring cats away (yay)
Jingle bells, Martian wails
Presents wrapped in lead
Next year J'onn would rather run off
And kill himself instead.
Crashing through the walls
In a dodgy alien bar
Hawkgirl's choice of fun
Disturbing and bizarre
Shayera's on the loose
Her eyes are
Batman/Green Arrow: Crossfire Chapter 1Joseph Kane sat in the Batcave, sending data to Batman, who was driving in the Batmobile.Batman/Green Arrow: Crossfire Chapter 12 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"The burn patterns on the victims suggest that Firefly is doing his work up close and personal for once. And unlike Gotham PD I was able to reconstruct their fingerprints digitally, sending you addresses."
Batman looked at the list, "Targeting the rich who live in New Babylon Towers I see...he's hunting them down and then dumping them in the East End."
"New Babylon Towers huh? What happened to the old one?"
"Destroyed by those living in it when the Clench hit."
Batman nodded, "How is Nightwing?"
Joseph looked over to where Alfred was fussing over Nightwing's injuries from taking on Firefly. Joseph's little brother Sam and Damian Wayne were watching as Alfred was trying to make Nightwing sit still. "He'd be better if he would," Joseph raised his voice a bit "SIT DOWN and let Alfred do his thing."
"Good. I'll remain on patrol for now. Batman, out." Batman cut off the comm and Joseph turned awa
Family Matters - A Linchpin InterludeFamily Matters - A Linchpin Interlude3 years ago in Drama More Like This
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've been sitting on this one for a while. I didn't know if I liked it when I first wrote it and then I kind of forgot about it. However, my new poll has reminded me that many of you want to see more in the Linchpin verse, so I dug this out and cleaned it up a bit. It's nothing but pure fluff – which is why I think I'm so iffy about it. There is no Robin Torture at all in it! Seriously!
DISCLAIMER: I've said it many times, but I'll say it again because I don't want to be sued: They're not mine! (Please don't sue me!)
FAMILY MATTERS (A Linchpin Interlude)
April 09, 09:15 EDT
The rain was falling lightly, tapping the large skylight with a pitter-patter that was accompanied by the heavy base of Foster the People. Jason tucked in the end of the towel he had wrapped around his waist and wiped the fog from the bathroom mirror. Runn
Batman/Green Arrow: Crossfire Chapter 3The air was filled with beeps and buzzes as Joseph laid in his hospital bed. His chest rose and fell gently. Police filled the hall and guarded his door. Joseph had an IV of drugs and blood in him and various machines monitored his vitals. Bruce, Dick, Damian and Sam stood in the room; Dick and Damian had their hands on Sam as the small boy sat by the bed, holding his big brother's hand. A doctor was talking to Bruce.Batman/Green Arrow: Crossfire Chapter 32 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Mister Wayne," said the doctor, "Doctor Kane will live. We managed to get the antidote into him in time."
"The blood loss?" asked Bruce.
"The compression bandages used by Batman and Green Arrow helped cut down the blood loss, but it was quite enough to require transfusion. I want him to stay here for a few days until his vitals are stable enough...."
"Wait," said Damian, butting into the conversation, "blood loss shouldn't mean his vitals are going crazy like his chart says."
"Pardon my son, he's a bit...precocious...." said Bruce, in a tone of voice to get Damian to bac
Batman/Green Arrow: Crossfire Chapter 2"I don't like you."Batman/Green Arrow: Crossfire Chapter 22 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Ollie looked up at Sam Kane glaring at him across the kitchen table.
"Look kid, I know I gave your brother a hard time...."
"When did I..."
"5 years ago, you destroyed the teddy bear Joey gave me...of course, not too long after that you were marooned...." Sam grinned evilly.
"Look, I want to end this feud and make sure your brother doesn't die. Can you live with that?"
"Sure." Sam grabbed his cereal bowl and headed to the living room. He turned back to face Ollie, "Doesn't mean I like you."
Oliver just stared as the little boy left. He sighed, he knew that the Kanes wouldn't like his presence, but he thought Joseph would have matured out of it. Yeah right, when I was his age I flopped out of every job my dad gave me, held a party on an oil rig that got attacked by pirates, accidentally killed a bunch of people, and got washed up on an island....
"Deep in thought, Ollie?" said Bruce as he sat down in his suit for work. He had already worked out and h