the good don't stayI blinked, shifted and cringed. My body was sore, my mind was cloudy and everything throbbed, especially my feet. I blinked a few more times. Goodness, my eyelids were heavy and my wrists itched—how scratchy the blanket upon my chest was! I took in a deep breath and tried to get past the blurriness.the good don't stay3 years ago in Personal More Like This
"It looks like we have a survivor. How are you feeling?"
Turning my head, I saw a white coat, and as my eyes drifted up, there was a stethoscope, assorted pens stuffed inside a pocket, a clean-shaven chin and grey eyes. I opened my mouth, but closed it again, because my tongue was dry and I really didn't feel like talking to anyone. Honestly, I was awful at dying. Everything was trying to do me in, even myself, but I just wouldn't.
And then shame filled me when what I had done truly sunk in:
I could have died.
I wiggled my fingers—I was alive.
"How am I feeling?" I rasped as my old temper was aroused by the absurdity of the doctor's question. "I feel fine. Absolutely goddamn dandy. N
Some Simon/Holly dialogues"We should climb up there—we'd have a fantastic view of the ocean," said Simon, gesturing to the nearly vertical pathway that wound its way up the side of the cliff.Some Simon/Holly dialogues3 years ago in Personal More Like This
"No," she replied with complete and utter finality. "No, absolutely not, that has 'no' written all over it."
"Come on, live a little—have an adventure! Leave your comfort zone!"
"I don't want to have an adventure. I'm content with safe mediocrity, thank you."
"Stop being an asshole, Simon."
"I might be mistaken, but I think that calling a terminally ill person an asshole inside a church might be a sin," he told her.
Holly shrugged. "But didn't the Bible say that telling the truth will set me free?"
"Well, that's life," said Holly flatly.
"Yes, but I don't have the greatest track record at life, do I?" replied Simon. "It's like I missed the memo. Really, I don't get why it's so difficult for me. What is life, anyway? How do you life?"
"Sometimes it just feels like I'm going crazy," said Holly. "
saul sceneDespite this, it was a nice affair: the family was overjoyed to have Saul with us and it was the first time I had dined anywhere else besides my room, which pleased Adele to no end. It was wonderful…until I walked Saul to the front gate.saul scene3 years ago in Personal More Like This
"Why?" I asked him as I watched his crutch kick up dust into the warm night air.
"Why do you get that look in your eye when you speak to Daniel? Has he offended you in some way?"
Saul bit his lip, but didn't respond.
"It isn't him, is it? It's Benjamin. You dislike him because of his brother. Why do you hate Benjamin? He has done nothing wrong!"
"Sara, don't you understand that he did this to you?" said Saul, his voice stretched. "I know he was a nice boy and that you loved him, but you've turned him into a saint in your min. You've canonized him, and you don't realize that if it weren't for him, none of this would have happened to you!"
"It is not his fault that he was persecuted for something so out of his control," I spat, sudden anger s
Scene from 'The Moon in the Door'Based off a recent experience I had while visiting a cemetery to see my great grandmother's grave.Scene from 'The Moon in the Door'3 years ago in Personal More Like This
Shiloh stopped for a moment, pausing in front of an especially old tombstone. He knelt and ran his hand along its face, feeling the indents of the words.
Matthew Jonathan Mayland
April 15th, 1904 January 1st, 1921
Loving son, caring friend.
"Shiloh, what's the matter?" asked Emmy.
He didn't answer. He just crouched, his fingers freezing to the stone, his breath rising in clouds from his parted lips.
"I'm scared," he said finally.
"Why are you scared?"
He shook his head. "All these people here, all these people under us, they were once alive, right? They breathed. They smiled. They cried and sometimes the wanted to die. But they all had their own lives and stories and problems, and we don't know any of them. We don't know anything at all." He bowed his head slightly. "The kid underneath this grave, he was my age when he died. He was seventeen. He had a mum and a dad and a family
I wrote a sad thinginserting this into the epilogue so I can ruin more lives <3I wrote a sad thing3 years ago in Personal More Like This
Who's Benjamin? I think. That's an excellent question.
Benjamin. A boy who paints what he wants to see. A dreamer. A friend. A warm summer night on the rooftop, a hot air balloon, a sea of whispering grass backlit by a kerosene lamp and the fireflies that flickered like sparks from a bottle-rocket. A match-giver, a soft-spoken superhero, a tear-choked goodbye in the shadow of the stars. A boy who was, and will forever remain seventeen years old, who died to make his bird fly once more.
But what happened to you, Benjamin Thomas? What happened to my poor, sweet boy? What could you have done to deserve the darkness that befell you despite all of your hopeless, misguided kindness? Could it be that you were born into a world that was just not ready?
You lived your life before its time—a life meant for the pages of a beautiful book, had your story only been written! You could have been a poem, an epic: lyrical, grand,
The Meaning of 'No' and Where to Go From ThereFor my AP Language and Composition class, we were supposed to write an essay on a controversial topic. I chose Rape Culture.The Meaning of 'No' and Where to Go From There3 years ago in Personal More Like This
An important line that seems to be blurred when it comes to sexual advances and the act of sex itself is the idea of "when does no mean no". If a woman is blackout drunk yet still asks for sex, even though she might not remember it in the morning, surely it isn't against her will? Or if a girlfriend says no, maybe she's just playing hard to get, right? Wrong. No matter the innuendos and no matter the situation, 'no' does in fact mean 'no'. Regardless of how drunk the person is or what they are wearing, there is never an excuse for rape or an 'invitation' for sexual assault. But the question is where did this mindset begin and why is it acted upon so often and without reproof?
The catalyst and the enabler of rape is much more complex than just a man's lust: the crux of the issue lies in the idea of "Rape Culture". Rape culture is a society in which people of all a
Benjamin Jastrow : Altruism or Self-Abnegation?An important point in the characterization of Paper Stars is that each character has one very important characteristic that defines them as a person and influences their day to day lives. Each of these traits are supposed to be both the character's greatest asset and their greatest flaw. They both build the character up and destroy their progress. And in this journal, I wannted to share with my readers an in-depth analysis of Benjamin Jastrow.Benjamin Jastrow : Altruism or Self-Abnegation?3 years ago in Personal More Like This
Easily the antithesis of Sara, Benjamin's defining characteristic is his altruism, and all of his other traits are influenced by it or are a result of it. His mild, gentle nature is centered around his carnal fear of causing others discomfort, which, in turn, becomes his own discomfort. His kindness is not limited to only those he cares for--it stretches to all those he meets, even when they are cruel to him, and he willingly shoulders the blame for any and all grievances around him. He is a human scapegoat, an alacritous martyr willing to give u
Melodrama"Oh, good morning, Simon."Melodrama3 years ago in Personal More Like This
Simon looked up from the bowl of cereal he was fixing himself and grinned. "Good morning, yourself. Just fixing some breakfast before we head to town—no other food here and I'm half starved."
"Good luck with that," said Holly, regarding the pile of bran flakes that sat inside the bowl. "There's no milk left."
"There's no more milk. Ran out of it last night and I didn't have time to make it to the grocery store."
"But I already poured my cereal!" said Simon with distress.
"That's unfortunate," replied Holly. She then watched with perplexity as her temporary flat-mate set the bowl on the counter, walked over to his cot and collapsed into the sheets. "Simon, what are you doing?" she asked.
Simon threw an arm over his face, covering his eyes with the crook of his elbow. "All that trouble for nothing," he moaned. "What is this? What is my life?!"
"This is a cruel world." The young man rolled onto his stomach, dragging the covers with him until he
trying to escape writers blockSo I read this article about how to creatively escape writers block, so here is the exercise:trying to escape writers block3 years ago in Personal More Like This
-Your two main characters have to change a flat tire, in the rain. (This exercise helps you to learn more about your characters through handling adversitywhich can be very telling!)
And here is the result
"What the hell was that?"
"It was a bloody good jolt, that's for certainI think you might've gone off the road for a minute."
"Of course I didn't go off the road, you pratI'm not that bad of a driver."
"That's a good laugh, Crow. I've got a damn prosthetic and I drive better than youwait, what the hell are you slowing down for?"
"I'm not slowing down! I haven't even taken my foot off the gas!"
"Well what does it look like we're doing? Sara, pull over, for Christ's sake, I think we've got a flat tire."
"Bollocks, we're fine."
"Look out your window: we're hardly even moving!"
"I can't see out because of the goddamn rain!"
"No need to pull over, then,
Real Life SimonBy combining the faces of Stuart Sutcliffe, Nicholas Hoult and Logan Lerman, plus a few tweaks on photoshop, I think I've created an accurate replica of what Simon Dalaigh would look life if he weren't fictional.Real Life Simon3 years ago in Personal More Like This
new synopsis for tTTS and PSThe Things That Staynew synopsis for tTTS and PS3 years ago in Personal More Like This
The year is 1965: a year thrumming with promise and hope and change all around the globe. But for two people, change seems out of the question. Their worlds are rigid, stuck, fixed—and completely contradictory to one another. Holly is a frazzled and reclusive mess from the wrong side of the tracks—well, the wrong side of everything, really—struggling to keep herself afloat as she copes with the loss of her nursing school scholarship two years before. Simon, on the other hand, is charming, arrogant, smart-mouthed and spoiled rotten—the only thing he has ever wanted for is a pair of proper lungs, as his own have been slowly ruined by the effects of Cystic Fibrosis. When Holly joins a peculiar non-profit agency in hope for nursing experience, their worlds are suddenly conjoined a little too close for comfort. Through bickering, old maps, collect calls and a great many letters, Holly and Simon are intertwined in a journey to find a future they never knew existed
Klaus : more than just a pretty boySo, I've always gotten a very positive response from readers and watchers whenever Klaus is mentioned, but for those who have not read my book and especially my final draft, I don't feel like you know him well enough. So I've decided to share a few new Klaus scenes that I've written recently to develop his character more.Klaus : more than just a pretty boy3 years ago in Personal More Like This
around Chapter 8 at Edith's dinner party in late June
"Would you care to accompany me to the veranda for a cigarette?" he asked. "There's one on the second floor, and it's getting a bit stuffy in here."
I agreed, and soon we were standing out on the lanai, elbows leaning upon the cool iron, the brisk summer wind rustling the ivy that crawled up the side of the railing. Klaus pulled a pack of cigarettes from his waistcoat pocket along with a lighter. Imprinted in the copper were the letters K&K, and suddenly I wanted to ask him what had happened the other day—what Heinrich had said about choosing the Gypsy over him. I didn't have time to ask though, because K
after listening to some badass musicI really wanna write a book set during the fuckin' Russian revolution in 1917. I'm missing the intensities of war. Definitely continuing with Nobody, Too, but just an idea. Thoughts? Yes? No? Suggestions?after listening to some badass music3 years ago in Personal More Like This
Writing: always room for improvementI've been getting a lot of messages and comments saying things like, "omg, you're an amazing writer, ugh I give up" and "I'll never be as good as you"Writing: always room for improvement3 years ago in Personal More Like This
guys, don't ever say that. you don't understand: my first draft of Paper Stars was horse-shit. So, in order to show you guys that anybody can get better at writing, I will now show you a scene: one copy of it written by me as an 8th grader, the other of my final manuscript.
#1: circa 2009
Suddenly, the silence was broken by the drunken voices of two soldiers. We stopped, waiting quietly as two SS soldiers staggered down the street towards us, taking swigs out of their flasks. One of them stopped in front of me, his lips turned into a drunken smirk. "Well whaddo we haf here ?" He slurred, looking down at me. I felt Benjamin's hand tighten on my shoulder. "A pretty 'ittle thing for a Jew, ain't she, Viktor?"
The other raised his flask to his mouth and downed what seemed
young Sara and SaulBoth are photoshopped; young Saul is Hugo Leverdez and young Sara is a little Isabelle Fuhrmanyoung Sara and Saul3 years ago in Personal More Like This
Juicefast is officially over!10 days ago, I decided to go on a juice fast that was going to last 10 days. Eating nothing else but juice. I did consume some vegetables and fruit aswell now here and there. But mostly juice.Juicefast is officially over!3 years ago in Personal More Like This
I FEEL SO good and healthy.
I lost probably around 10 pounds.
No headaches or stomac pains, which I usually have now and then.
SO MUCH MORE ENERGY
my skin looks a lot healthier.
I can consume vegetables/fruits I hate which is good for me by just mixing them with other stuff. Brilliant!
SO much waste of fruit/vegetable meat, and always having to clean the juicer every time. But thats it.
>8D IT FELT SO GOOD EATING A SANDWHICH TODAY NOW THAT IVE DONE and been drinking nothing but fruit and veggies for 10 days.
I will keep making juice, and as a lover of juice before I got the juicer, im happy to stop buying processed nonnutrientfilled juice and change
adaptation of scene from 'moon in the door'not quite sure where this is going to be in the book, but I'll find a way.adaptation of scene from 'moon in the door'3 years ago in Personal More Like This
"Simon, Simon! Wait!"
His arms were wrapped round his stomach as though he was embracing himself or holding something inside him, though he never stopped walking. Holly followed him, being sure to stay several feet behind as she pulled along his oxygen tank.Holly followed him, being sure to stay several feet behind as she pulled along his oxygen tank. She worried desperately for his lungs, but knew he would refuse to put the cannula back on, so she simply went along behind him for twenty minutes or so until he suddenly veered off the road and made his way towards a small stone church. His strides were swift and as long as his legs, and soon he was walking among the moss-covered gravestones and monuments that littered the grounds. His eyes listed over the various names upon the plaques until he at stopped suddenly at one.
A Skewed Perception of Modern Beautyokay, so I feel like I need to do a body image/ media rant right now, especially since I just got back home from shopping and it's depressed me a lot.A Skewed Perception of Modern Beauty3 years ago in Personal More Like This
I'm just so fucking sick of the media forcing girls to compare themselves to each other. Honestly, I am. This is coming from a girl who has struggled with weight and severe self esteem issues since 4th grade. Ever since I hit puberty, I've had radios and TV's and magazines telling me that I'm not pretty enough. After eight years of this, it really wears you down. It's gotten to a point where I can't even go shopping without just sitting in the changing room and crying my eyes out because I have to settle for everything.
I'm 5'5", I have natural curves, and I weigh around 150 lbs. The doctor says I'm at a healthy weight: not really overweight and not underweight. But how can I feel healthy when every image I see on billboards and adverts and movies and tabloids tells me that I'm fat and that I need to be "fixed", when, in real
A Special Moment.I wanted to share this with you guys because it is by far the most beautiful moment of my life.A Special Moment.3 years ago in Personal More Like This
It happens to be the day I flew back. The flight back to England was very long, only because I knew what was waiting on the other side and I couldn't wait to see him again.
When I got off the plane, I don't think I have run faster in my life. I stood in front of the area where the bags were coming out and acted like some kind of idiot really because I was literally pacing around it trying to get my bags out as fast as possible. I borrowed a stranger's phone to call Kurt at that moment because I knew when I crossed those doors, he would be waiting for me on the other side. And when I walked out with my trolley of stuff, there he was. Right in the middle wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans, his arms open wide to grab me, I could see him before I even walked out of the doors at Heathrow. I left my trolley at that point because honestly, I didn't give a damn where it went and in seconds
Possible new story!Since I'm having major writers block for TMITD but too much creative energy, I've channeled it into another project, at least temporarily.Possible new story!3 years ago in Personal More Like This
It's 1961, and to support herself and prepare for nursing school the subsequent fall, eighteen-year-old Holly Halliburton becomes a member of a very peculiar agency. They are called "The League of Bedside Sympathizers", or at least that is their official title, though nobody seems to know what it means nor where it originated. Her job? To provide solace and smooth the transition between life and death for hospital patients who have no living or reachable kin. Having successfully undergone four separate "transitions", serious, soft-spoken Holly feels as though she is prepared for anything the agency throws her way. That is, until she is thrust to the bedside of Simon Dalaigh, a melancholy, spirited and blunt young man dying from acute Cystic Fibrosis of the lungs. Their unusual circumstances eventually throw them together int
an introduction to my Anthro universe.. :PI got a question the other day, about what dog breed Sam and Saunders in their anthro form is supposed to be.an introduction to my Anthro universe.. :P3 years ago in Personal More Like This
I started answering the comment, but soon found out it would just end up being a looooong reply... And I thought, as I wrote, that maybe others would be interested in what breed they and their relatives are, as well as Spike's breed, some character origins, how the people (or anthro) in my little fictive universe views their fellow inhabitants, and a bit of history around this whole thing.
Therefore, I'm deciding on writing a journal entry about this.
The different breeds.
Saunders and Sam were originally, when I first created and designed them, supposed to be Golden Retrievers. Thus, they did in fact both have floppy, furry ears just like the Golden has. For some reason, I felt this made the characters look sad, so I changed - I think - Saunders' ears first to stand up just like a Terrier's ears. Sam's ears changed shortly after. I kept this change as I thought it ma
got an email from Penguin Publishers!...and I just gave them information about the book. Guys, this whole publication dream might actually come true! Thank you so, so much to all of you who have stuck with me from the beginning, and to all of you who have just started following me. I love and adore every single one of you and will make sure you each get a copy of Paper Stars if it gets published, because you're the reason I've made it this far. I can't even begin to explain how much support you all have given me when I've felt useless or untalented or insignificant: you, my watchers, my friends, have been with me and believed in me even when I'm at my lowest, and I cannot put to words the extent of my gratitude. From commenting on every single one of my pieces to simply clicking the "watch" or "favorite" button, you have given me the confidence and drive to pursue my dreams despite my anxiety and fear, and I could never ask for anything more wonderful. Thank you.got an email from Penguin Publishers!2 years ago in Personal More Like This
Phone-Call #1: February 18th, 1961"He—Hello?"Phone-Call #1: February 18th, 19613 years ago in Personal More Like This
"Is this Miss Halliburton?"
"Who on earth is calling me at this time of night?"
"Take a guess."
"I—what? Who is this?"
"Wow, you don't even recognize my voice. I'm offended."
"Is this some sort of prank call?"
"After all we went through."
"If you don't tell me who you are and why you're calling, I'm hanging up right now. It is too damn early for this."
"Then I'll just call again. Well, actually, don't hang up, I've only got fifty cents left."
"For God's sake, who the is this?"
"I already told you to guess, Ilex—I thought you were clever."
"Took you long enough."
"Simon, it is two in the morning. What is wrong with you?"
"Well, I've got six pounds of shit building up in my airways, I can't breathe without an oxygen tank and I'm an asshole."
"I already knew that. Now why are you calling me in the middle of the night—and did I hear you say you're at a payphone?"
"Yes, there's one on the bottom floor of the hospital."
"What are you doi