A Poem About WordsA Word on Words
I’ve never been very good with words.
I spend so much time searching for the right ones,
For that one perfect phrase to describe a feeling.
Slippery as a sunfish it incessantly escapes me,
Or gets hooked upon my lip.
It’s difficult to say what I mean,
Let alone mean what I say.
And words make it so much harder;
Ineffectual, impersonal and imprecise as they are.
I might say I love a steaming pot of tea in the morning,
Or a big cozy sweater on a winter’s day.
But sweaters and tea don’t quite add up to how I feel about you.
You might say a rose is pretty,
Or a sunset.
But I am hardly a flower or a sinking star.
I wish there were a way to pinpoint these feelings,
To let you know exactly what they are.
Instead I tread water futilely,
Drowning in the vagueness of language;
I simply choose silence.
Perhaps worst of all about words,
Is that they can lose their luster so devastatingly quickly.
I want meaning to permeate time; to last forever
Jigsaw - Chapter 1 (Serina)Chapter 1Jigsaw - Chapter 1 (Serina)3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
So I’m curled up with the cold porcelain of this empty bathtub digging into my ass and this tank top fused to my back with sweat. Across a minefield of flawlessly waxed marble flooring and four entire walls of mirrors, beside the silver automatic sink with golden handles there is a white door and a banging from the other side of it. I don’t know what’s happening out there – if someone needs to piss really badly, if they’re moshing too hard and bumping into it, of if they’re actually worried about me. That would be a huge fucking surprise.
Those disgusting socialites don’t give two shits about me. If anybody even noticed I left, they’d probably think I was just sticking my fingers down my throat or shooting up on something. They all do it – that’s normal for them. Disappearing to the bathroom for half an hour in the middle of a party is just a day in the fucking life for these peopl
Jigsaw, Chpater 4 (Seth)Chapter 4Jigsaw, Chpater 4 (Seth)3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The ringing from the crack of the gun is still in my ears.
According to the nurse that should go away in a few days – feeling in my left side should come back around the same time.
I’m on a diet of red jell-o and nutrients fed from tubes stuck in my arms.
They’re calling my survival an “act of God”. One in a billion. My face is all over newspapers and 5:00 television.
“Man Survives Gunshot Wound To The Head!”
“Modern Day Phineas Gage!”
“Luckiest Man Alive!”
Leave it to me to fuck up suicide so much that the whole world turns and laughs.
I got a text from Angie’s father when I was still out cold – just after all those photos of me hit the news-o-sphere. I met him a few times. Big tall guy with a bristly mustache and a crushing handshake. We talked about hunting trips and fishing, he offered to take me out on the lake at his summerhouse to catch bass and lear
Jigsaw - Chapter 2 (Seth)Chapter 2Jigsaw - Chapter 2 (Seth)3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
One of those guys.
I promised myself I would never be one of those guys. But I am. I’ll tell you now that it’s a dehumanizing feeling. Knowing that you are everything you hate and having to live with that. I’m such a screw up. Fuck, am I ever a screw up.
I never meant for it to be this way – I swear to God I never meant for it to be this way. I’d never hurt her – I mean, I mean I never wanted to hurt her. I just didn’t know what I was doing, I was stupid and careless and, and I know it shouldn’t have happened but it did.
My hands are shaking and I feel sick. I’m sweating like a pig. I wring my hands. My palms are cold and clammy but drenched in sweat. I look around my totaled apartment.
After she went running I still had all this anger left I didn’t know what to do with. It started with tearing down a poster, but I needed to destroy something and watch it smash, ripping paper wouldn
Jigsaw- Chapter 3 (Serina)Chapter 3Jigsaw- Chapter 3 (Serina)3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I’m still breathing.
I’m still breathing?
Beep, beep, beep.
She’s coming around.
This isn’t right, I’m not supposed to be here. I cut my fucking throat, game over, finita la musica, passata la fiesta. I’m not supposed to be breathing. This is a mistake. There must be some mistake.
Beep, beep, beep.
Doctor, she’s struggling.
There has to be some mistake. My arms feel like lead and I can’t move my legs. It takes all my strength to lift my head and reach out to the bleary white figures. Please, I beg, there was a mistake. This was a mistake. I’m not supposed to be here, this is a mistake. My hands grab blindly and catch on thin white fabric. I drag it close. Please, please, I’m not supposed to be breathing.
Beep, beep, beep.
Put her under.
Again? What if her system can’t handle—
She’ll die for certain if we
the scars on your shouldersthe scars on your shouldersthe scars on your shoulders3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
are braille to me, so that i
can read your skin, so that i
can know you better.
i like to listen to your heartbeat
and how it resounds differently
from mine, just so beautifully
like two songs played in tandem
to harmonise in rounds;
i like to hold your hands
and rub your back
so that maybe my love
can find its way through your pores
and seep into your blood
(never can i find the right words
to tell you just the way you feel to me)
and to think that and how i nearly missed you
makes me miss you more
every minute and mile we spend
i can't sleep with another body
in my bed,
but sleeping without you
leaves the space next to me
much emptier than i'd like.
my only company is
the sadness that comes from
being alone, and having no strong arms
to reassure me that i am beautiful
and no dream can hurt me-
i can only hope that
you are not the exception.
this is the pen finally knowing
this is how we hold onto the bones
we support in our bodies.
Dear YouDear YouDear You3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You are a hurricane.
You are a volcano.
You are a flurry of beautiful violence;
A plume of volcanic ash cast into the sky.
You are all the voices of the world;
A scream and a whisper and a sigh.
You are the beauty of the earth;
An exquisite wildfire, divine in its destruction.
And you are so strong.
You are stronger than this weight on your shoulders,
You are stronger than this emptiness in your chest,
You are stronger than all these things that dare get in your way.
You will charge past these things;
These regrets, these desires, these insecurities.
You will get through every pitfall and mistake and slipup,
And you’ll be made better for it.
You are unbeatable, unconquerable and unstoppable.
Every obstacle, an opportunity,
Every failure, a lesson.
You will beat this because you are better than this.
You will beat this because you are you.
And that is a powerful thing.
Seth and Serina Go On TourSeth and Serina Go On TourSeth and Serina Go On Tour3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I met you in the suicide ward.
In a group therapy session they claimed would make us feel less alone, you sat across from me with your dark tussled hair and sunken eyes. You were wearing a stained denim jacket with patched elbows and torn sleeves. The group leader told each of us to go in a circle and exchange compliments with someone else to get the ball rolling. When the circle got to me, I told you your jacket made you look homeless and you told me my haircut made me look like an ugly dyke. We were both asked to leave. When we parted at the door, I told you to go fuck yourself and you told me to go to Hell.
I didn’t feel alone anymore.
In the night, I could hear you play guitar through the paper-thin hospital walls. And even though I had thick bandages around my wrists, and my fingers were cold and sore, I picked up my ukulele and harmonized to your melody. We played on and on into the night, together and apart, until the nurses asked us
Write Love on Her Arms?I just saw a Facebook page that said this: "Write Love on Her Arms."Write Love on Her Arms?5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I chuckled at this grotesque idea.
I would never write love on her arms, for I would write it on a sheet of paper, page-by-page, a serenade to be crafted into an art form of lyricism and beauty -- forever it shall remain with her, whereas ink will fade quickly . . . but, I suppose that's what we've come to.
the destruction of destructioni leavethe destruction of destruction3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
&empty watter bottles
on your floor
in case you decide to forget me.
this is just our dynamic
this is just how our relationship works.
i read you chapters of the
strangest book i know
&you have me create
voices for each character.
i am most comfortable as the narrator,
but you like my crazier caricatures best.
it reminds me of how you like
the stranger ways my mind works,
&how you will pry sharp things
from my clawed fingers
&show up late for work
just to make sure i eat;
the hateful frustration i feel
when my body yearns for its
only to be thwarted by something
it can't control;
it reminds me of how you love
the parts of me i most hate,
&the way we can fight
as we go to bed
but before i fall asleep,
i nestle myself into
the curve of your back
&i am safe.
The Petals OnlyAnother late nightThe Petals Only3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
sober, without conviction.
Not loveless, not
a cat in the road,
not even moss on the doorstep.
The heat shimmer is bawdy
and the kids go to sleep
early for a reason.
It's just like
when you find out
you weren't born special.
When you find out
the pretty ones do
have petals on their beds.
Stepping on the sheets.
It's the pin-prick stars
that are sick of waiting
It's telling the clouds
what they look like.
Grab a handful of a dirt
with your back to the grass,
and choose which finger
to point at the sky.
Falling in LoveI fell into what can only be explainedFalling in Love3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
as thin air.
Filling every inch of space
from me to you.
That attraction pulling me from afar,
over all rocky mountains and oceans.
What I feel is the thrill of free falling,
like butterflies are fluttering around in my belly,
gently caressing my soul.
If they ever left…
they would surely return,
with only a single glance of soft creases,
surrounding your shimmering eyes.
I'll hold you as if the sun thought,
"No, I'm not going to work today."
And the moon...
trudging forth around the Earth,
clung to blackness,
that could never be brightened.
I'll hold you as If today is the last day,
and there is no where else I'd wish to be.
are the reason roses bolt upright
from wilted states in dusky atmospheres.
are the antidote of seen-too-much-eyes.
have a smile that emanates all happiness.
have a voice made up of cozy hymns of melodies,
projected from your delicate and full lips.
Have a touch that is smooth a
A Thousand MoreHeart beats fastA Thousand More3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Colors and promises
How to brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone,
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
Looking around, I noticed with annoyance that everybody around the school cafeteria seemed to be chatting with somebody elsethe same people, for two years, now. It was boring. The little cliques had all been the same since the very first day of high school.
Who's that? I wondered, noticing a stoic-looking boy sitting alone at one of the small, round tables in the courtyard, on the other side of the cafeteria glass. He looks kind of lonely.
The boy glanced up, vivid blue eyes meeting my dull green ones as if he'd known I was watching. Our faces both remained carefully blank, until he raised a single golden eyebrow.
What? his eyes asked.
You look lonely, mine replied.
He lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug and then jerked his head in the universal Come here gesture.
Goodbye for now, Goodbye for laterThe Goodbye for now hurts meGoodbye for now, Goodbye for later3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
And it is for your pleasure alone you see
For you are the only one who gains
And your heart he'll "Forever" Keep
But little did you know my dear
that you weren't the only one
Now your sitting there all alone
while they are together on the run
The Goodbye for later hurts us both
For as you try to come to me
I am forced to pull up the courage
To tell you its just not to be
Because if you were willing to leave me
for someone who you barely knew
then i know that you would do it again
And then i can no longer blame you.
So cry on my shoulder if you need to
I never said we couldn't be friends
but as far as love is ever concerned
This will have to be the end.
Love LiesLove lies.Love Lies3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And I was never in love.
I will deny it every time you ask.
I will say "No."
I will say "It didn't mean anything."
I will say "I'm fine."
In your fingertips as you trace
The curves of my body,
Memorizing every turn.
And I was happy.
But suddenly I'm screaming and
Holding my head in my hands
Because I can't remember how to breathe.
And I'm pounding my dashboard because
I can't handle listening to this song anymore.
But I don't like the silence.
And I didn't ask for this.
I didn't mean to spit my heart out so close
To your feet because you keep stepping on it,
And I don't think you even realize it.
I don't want to lean into your words
As they fall from your soft lips
Because I know that they're false.
And it makes me angry as hell.
I guess what I'm saying is:
I don't need you.
I don't want you.
I was never yours.
And I was never in love.
I will deny it every time you ask.
I will say "No."
I will say "It didn't mean
GlitchStatic arises along her face. Her eyes are altering to a haze. Her expression is drawn to blank as she becomes part of a faint memory.Glitch3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I sit beside her, her static hand held in mine. I don't know if this is reality or a lucid dream. But the anguish I feel is my castigation.
Her hair slashes at me when the breeze becomes a tempest. And her static body develops zigzag lines across her torso and face. She gives me a reassuring smile. But within my mind, that smile is a suppressed secret. Digital fragments of her body break away and dance with the tempest.
“Where do you think we go when we glitch?” she asked before she knew her life would end.
Above the twilight sky,
Beyond the violet horizon,
Is a firmament depicted perfectly.
Do not let your worry become so high.
That firmament is displayed so vividly, blazon.
And its welcome erupts abruptly.
Release your grasp from me.
And let its light wash you away
Into the embracing sea
And rest aside your fray.
She twists he
BoxcutterWe areBoxcutter3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in her hardwood apartment,
that we bought
because of the neighbors
and the windows
that light up
the dust on the floor.
She is kneeling
in front of
sliding the knife
down the sides
with a paper sound.
And I am staring
into the empty rooms.
If she pushed
into my lungs
the air would rush out
When you look at me
and bite your lip,
I see brown hair
and darker eyes.
And I would let her too
if it didn't
make such a mess
for the dust
and the neighbors
and the hardwood floor.
PersolusI’ve been alone for a very long time. I’m not quite sure who I am – identity is such a fickle thing, especially when you have no one to prove it to. Sometimes I remember things from before the fall. I remember what I’m called – Persolus with a “p” – but I don’t recall ever hearing it spoken. I can remember hands but not faces and lips but not words. All the people disappeared a long time ago.Persolus3 years ago in Drama More Like This
I don’t think it’s a bad thing by any means; the suffocating warmth of other people was replaced with the crisp chill of time spent alone - and that’s how I’ve always preferred it. In my Spartan solitude I’m neither happy nor sad – I simply am. It’s uncomplicated and it’s easy – maybe that’s why I’m so comfortable this way.
I do admit however, that there are days when I’ll look into the sky and wonder if I’m missing something
Blue Smocking in the True Essence of Time"You have no idea what time is going to do to you."Blue Smocking in the True Essence of Time3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The girl was certainly no older than me, certainly. In fact, she looked at least ten years younger than me, and her dark blue, smock-like top the drugstore chain made her wear at the register made her look even younger and more childish.
If I allowed myself a moment of superficiality right then, I would have said there was nothing special about her: not her hair style, not her face, not her body, not her smile, not her eyes or even the tone of her voice. In fact, there was something slightly non-pleasing about all those elements of her, but I couldn't quite put my finger on exactly why. Maybe everything about her was just a little "off' by the world's standard of what was beautiful and what wasn't. Regardless of that, though, I realized that at 2:00am, when I was the only customer in the store full of everything a person could need at 2:00am, it was an odd thing for her to say to me as I walked in and passed the che
Second SphereI found part of me by accidentSecond Sphere3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in a Parisian cardboard box
with satin rags; purple ink
depicting people and clouds.
Tungsten from the wires
of lightbulb husks.
He kicked my hand when I pulled him out,
my fingers caught up in the blonde.
Here there are boys who count
the golden rings of Saturn,
and retinas that lick up the sunset.
Pictures of Japanese lanterns on the sea-crest
and swarms of orange fireflies.
Girls who do not dot
their I's with hearts,
and wait for iodine skies
with slow, dripping
Mags, Rewrite, ProloguePrologueMags, Rewrite, Prologue4 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Cold. The overall impression of the place was cold. The kind of cold that could kill. The wind was staggering. It added enormously to the chill, hissing and screaming through the mountains. Mountains. Yes, those were there. They were all around - hulking giants watching over the tiny mortals in the snowy wasteland. There was no God here, only mountains. Cold and uncaring.
The snow came down like a swarm of angry white hornets. It stung the skin and made it impossible to see more than an arms length forward. The hissing and screaming of the wind burned the ears as much as the lack of heat. Why was it so loud? Why was it screaming so loudly?
Out. Want to get out.
There was cabin ahead. A minuscule wooden thing in the midst of the storm. It looked so small and insignificant amongst the mountains and the snow.
Love Happens'Twas accidental,Love Happens3 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
how two bodies intertwined
into endless knots.
you didn't listen when i saidthe thunder is an earthquake,you didn't listen when i said4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
waking my bones, waking my blood,
waking me up like a bump in the night.
i want to say
this is for everyone who has realized that
humans are just fragments of regret and hope
but it is more for you than anyone else.
and it is so easy to fall apart without you
but i am holding on and
i'll be okay. i'll be fine.
Dear Poetry,I might be dangerously on the verge of being poetic, but-Dear Poetry,3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Sometimes I don't feel me in my own skin.
I am too many breaks between pulses,
& a heart still living in the autumn of 99.
I'm telling stories about a girl.
A soul made of ink & godly metaphors,
too much for a non-homeostatic body.
There were once fireflies in her smile,
alight between the gaps in her teeth.
love letters carved into wrists
she never sent.
She is Porphyria, & you are her lover.