11 days to Christmas - PhanAfter a long day of doing nothing it almost surprises me how nice it feels to crawl into bed once its over. Dan was under the covers before I'd even entered the room and had already busied himself on his iPhone.
I settled myself to lie under the covers and he quickly locked the phone, put it on his bedside table, laid down and turned to face me.
'Hey Phil.' he mumbled.
I ignored him. 'What were you doing on there?' I asked
'Nothing really, just a quick bit of shopping, nothing for you to worry about.' He said, snaking his arms around my middle and resting his head on my shoulder. 'Hey Phil.' he asked again.
'What is it Dan my dear darling husband?'
'We're getting the Christmas tree tomorrow.' He grinned.
'Excited at all?'
'Very.' I said a smile spreading across my face 'I haven't had a real tree in ages.'
This Christmas is different to the other ones when we've lived together in a few ways, new apartment, sort of a new stage in our relationship and so a new type of tree only
Imaginary friends-PrologueHe sits at his computer just playing around on the internet, it's probably something to do with that YouTube account that he's so popular on... and I watch. All I ever do is watch; I watch him and wait for fuck all to happen. If this was ten or twelve years ago I'd be playing with him right now, or at the least he'd be talking to me. but not now; now i get nothing. He barely remembers that I exist; all I can hope for now is a passing thought from time to time.Imaginary friends-Prologue2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Maybe now would be a good time to introduce myself; my name is Dan, and there are many names for what I am, none fit better than 'imaginary friend'.
I am the fruit of his mind, a friend that only he could see, and who was always ready to play or talk, I was always there when he needed me.
but he hasn't needed me in years.
And so now you find me, a grown and forgotten imaginary friend of an eighteen year-old boy called Phil.
I've stood by him at every stage of his life so far, it could be said I do so out of loyalty.
but that's no
Imaginary friends-Part 9Its two days before Chris, Phil, Peej and me leave for university, at different ends of the country because going to universities that are close to each other was far too much hassle for Chris and Phil to bother finding then applying to.Imaginary friends-Part 92 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Okay maybe I'm being unfair but I still wish we didn't have to go.
The last few weeks have gone far too quickly, Chris and Phil saw each other much more often than their usual record for the past year, it's like we've gone back in time to when they were seven and had no internet which they could easily contact each other over.
so much like they were seven in fact that they have decided that today –on what is probably their last meeting before leaving- they are going to meet in the park where they used to play, just under a little bridge where Phil and Chris used to sit and talk when they were too 'cool' to play on it anymore, which worked out really well for me and Peej since there's only so much fun we can have following around Chris and Phil when the
Taking Responsibility - PHANFandom: YouTubeTaking Responsibility - PHAN2 years ago in Romance More Like This
Pairing: Phan (AmazingPhil/danisnotonfire)
Point of View: Phil
"Phil! I think I may be dying."
I look up from my laptop to my boyfriend, fully expecting to see him looking perfectly fine and just being his usual drama-queen self. Apart from that's not what I see; I see Dan slumped in the doorway of the bedroom, skin horribly pasty and pitch-black bags underneath his eyes.
So maybe he's not dying, but he's definitely sick. And I'm the only one around to look after him, poor guy.
Without putting any thought into it, just letting my body react how it naturally should, I place the laptop on the floor and reach my arms out, gesturing for him to join me on the bed. As sappy as it may sound, as I know it sounds, seeing him sick genuinely makes me feel bad too; because our degree of love is so high that it physically hurts me when he's hurt. Like I can't be happy unless he is.
He doesn't even stop to hesitate; he just flops over to me, the force of his body knocking me o
Imaginary friends-Part 1Phil's best friend, Chris, is coming over shortly to make a video with Phil for the YouTube thing that they individually do but sometimes come together on.Imaginary friends-Part 12 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Goodness knows what it'll be about, neither of them bother on deciding these things beforehand, they like myself know very well that whatever they decide beforehand will be long forgotten by the time it gets filmed.
-when Phil was four-
'Dan will agree with me.'the boy shouted at another slightly older boy.
Everything around me is new and strange and almost scary, but the first boy, his name is Phil, is teaching me, somehow I just know stuff. Stuff like how to talk and what things are and that I'm needed now because Phil is having an argument with his brother, Martin, and he needs someone else on his side.
'Who's Dan?' Martin asks.
'My invisible friend.' Phil said proudly.
'Well I can't see him so he doesn't count.'
'He does so count.'
'No he doesn't.'
'He does too'
'Well how come you have never talked about him before?'
Imaginary friends - Part 25Netta excitedly repositioned herself to sit with crossed legs opposite Chris on his bed while Vi and me sit side by side together on the floor.Imaginary friends - Part 252 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Vi said earlier that today is the day that Netta’s going to try to get Chris to remember me and then he can kill me too.
I flinched; usually when I say that Vi doesn’t hesitate to slap the sense out of my arm and tell me that I’m talking rubbish. I suppose the joy of only thinking that and not saying it is that she to my knowledge can’t read my thoughts -and if she can she refuses to act on them- In her eyes I just flinched for no reason whatsoever, so I really shouldn’t wonder why she asked me if I was okay.
‘I’m fine.’ I replied although that’s the sort of phrase that sets peoples pants alight isn’t it.
‘Nothing Vi, I just hope that you’ve had enough of the Peej mister before Chris-‘ I said pausing to receive another hit fo
Fantastic Sleepover- Phan/Kickthestickz - Part 1Fantastic Sleepover- Phan/Kickthestickz - Part 12 years ago in Scraps More Like This
There was a pounding on the front door, and I quickly dropped the blankets in my hand onto the couch. I jogged over to the door and opened it, revealing, not Phil, but towering bags of groceries.
“Phil!” I exclaimed. His head popped out from the side of the bags, and he had a worried smile on his face.
“Too much...?” He asked me. I groaned, but took a few bags from him nonetheless. We carried them through the flat and into the kitchen, where we set them down on one of the counters.
“What’d you buy? How much was this?”
“Uhh, it wasn’t that much. I just got a few bags of crisps, some biscuits, pop, movies...” Phil trailed off. “Okay, it was a lot.”
I sighed and shook my head, reminding myself to never let Phil shop for parties again.
“When are Peej and Chris here, again?” I asked, beginning to take the items out of the bags. There were at least five bags of crisps. Jesus Christ, P
Phan-Do you need me? Part 1Magnificent. That's the word, the one word I would use to describe this feeling; this place right now.Phan-Do you need me? Part 12 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
It's like the world wakes up in places like these, there are so many people here enjoying themselves all at the same time, all in the same place, yet separately. There are hundreds of people, each with their own lives, their own drama, but they all decided to come here to get away from it, dancing and/or grinding to the music with the bass that makes my chest throb; beating my heart so I don't have to. The lights move rapidly, blinding me often, but briefly, with multi-coloured patterns that search the room for dark corners and make them explode with colour. Dan is standing about a metre away from me. He's looking at me in that way; the way he only does when he wants something from me. I'm very conscious of this as he advances moving his hips slightly too much as he walks towards me. 'Hey.' He says as he looks me up and down once and biting his lip; I can smell the alcohol in his brea
Imaginary friends-Part 14I stare at the computer screen as Phil and Chris have one of their regular Skype calls.Imaginary friends-Part 142 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
I always stare, but not necessarily at Chris - I stare at the spaces around him where I assume Pj is.
I've never seen him on one of these calls before but I can’t bring myself to accept that I’m never going to and often I end up pretending that I can see him; which then leads to having little conversations with myself and pretending that they’re with him, most of the time this proves to be more of a method of entertaining myself that doesn't involve watching Phil rather than actually providing me with comfort.
My little conversations never occupy me for long they only ever lead on to something interesting that I happened to overhear in the conversation that’s going on between Phil and Chris which I then pay full attention to - this time it was talk about people in university that managed to grab my attention away from fake imaginary Pj.
I began to take complete notice of the
Okay - PHANFandom: YouTubeOkay - PHAN2 years ago in Drama More Like This
Pairing: Phan (AmazingPhil/danisnotonfire)
Point of View: Phil
The screen flashes at me, announcing that I've died one too many times for a small blue hedgehog to be able to cope with and I sigh; playing Sonic by myself isn't nearly as fun as playing it with Dan, with my sixteen-year-old boyfriend.
But no, he has to be in school and I'm meant to be out looking for a job lest I want my mother to throw out all of my Pokémon trading cards. Not that she actually would; she spent way too much of her hard-earned money on them throughout my childhood to just throw them away now.
I glance to the clock; half past three. Dan should be home at any minute, ready for our regular Friday routine. First of all he'll come in, tell me about his day even if there's nothing in particular to tell, then I'll fail at trying to help with his homework and then we'll stay up all night, alternating our time between watching YouTube videos, playing my new Xbox game and kissing.
Fantastic Sleepover- Phan/Kickthestickz - Part 5Fantastic Sleepover- Phan/Kickthestickz - Part 52 years ago in Scraps More Like This
“Phil?” I called hesitantly as soon as I left my room. I had a feeling Phil was in his own, but before I checked, I went searching around the whole house, to give him a few minutes to take in the information.
When I finally did get to his door, though, I opened it instantly and went straight to the crying mess on top of the bed, the man who looked like he was six as he was curled up and sobbing. It broke my heart, and I crossed the room and pulled him into my lap as soon as I sat down.
“Phil, baby, calm down,” I whispered quietly, as softly as I could, trying to sooth him. I ran my hand through his hair and let him cry into my shoulder. We stayed like that, silent besides the fews times I tried to help but failed.
When Phil had stopped, after a good long while of crying, he was left with a sticky, red face, and a few leftover tears. I used my thumb to gently wipe off the remaining ones, and then held him for a few minutes more. Finally, when he seemed to be done
Imaginary friends-Part 2-when Phil was seven-Imaginary friends-Part 22 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
'Dinner's ready!' Chris' mum shouted up the stairs to us, almost immediately Chris abandoned what he and Phil were doing on the computer and ran down the stairs, Phil followed, with only the smallest gap in between him and me, Alfie, Luke and Pj. We had been sitting on the floor pretending that one of us had the power to kill the others with a wink, it's a game we learnt at school today, it's called wink murder.
We all bounded into the kitchen to see that the table was already set with Chris and Phil's dinner. 'Thanks mummy!' Chris said.
'Mm, thanks for making me dinner Mrs Kendall.' Phil agreed.
Phil and Chris sat next to each other on one side of the table.
'Oh you're very welcome, it was my pleasure.' She sat down on the other side of the table so she could talk to Chris and Phil. I stood next to Phil because usually if he's not too distracted he'll think up some food for me to eat, not that I particularly need it, I just like eating.
'So what have you two been
After Hours - PHAN"It'll be fun... what? Is wittle phillywilly scaaaawed!"After Hours - PHAN3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Alex, Charlie and PJ were laughing at me, poking at my stomach. Chris was nervously laughing behind them, obviously not too into the idea, but his head was so far up PJ's arse he'd agree with anything.
I gently tugged at my fringe, trying to redirect my embarrasment. "Phil." PJ finally got annoyed that I wasn't giving in, "You're gonna stay here or you just aren't cool enough for us... Right Chris?" PJ bit his lip after he said 'Chris', forcing the other man to answer with his penis--
"Yep, PJ. If he doesn't do it he's out, for good," Chris stumbled out, playing with his collar.
The guys, who I'd thought were my friends, had dared me to stay at school over the weekend. That is- in a cold, non-heated, huge building, with no company and locked in.
Obviously I didn't want to do any of this shit they wanted, but they were all I had. All I'd ever had...
"HEY. YOU!!" Tiny PJ had screamed in my ear, showing off a toothy
Imaginary friends - Part 19We’re finally home and not just ‘a room that Phil’s been given’ home, proper home, the family house.Imaginary friends - Part 192 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Phil seems happy to be home. Although I am fully aware that he hasn’t really stopped being happy since his and Eddie’s last meeting. And that was four whole days ago.
I’ve missed this place; the familiarity; the secrets; the memories; but most of all the fact that when staying here Phil and Chris actually see each other in person.
The next time that I know that they’re going to see each other is in two days’ time, at Chris’ parents annual Christmas party.
We enter Chris’ house at 7:24 pm on the evening of the party, we’re not early, the party technically started at seven … but Phil's family have a knack for making themselves accidently fashionably late to these things.
It takes Phil and me all of one minute to find Chris and Peej in the sea of People now swarming Chris’ house. Peej didn’t actua
Imaginary friends - Part 15I watched him prepare another bag, its been weeks since he last did this and any other day I'd be angry for him giving in to the demands of university work, but not today.Imaginary friends - Part 152 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Why? I hear you ask.
Because today is a Sunday - he has spent most of it doing literally nothing; and now I'm bored - Watching him doing stupid things whilst high is always way more interesting than watching him do nothing, so there's really no point in being angry. And besides so far he has an almost perfect track record of noticing me when he's high; so I'm actually starting to wonder why I seem so completely against him doing this to himself.
He sat on his bed and stared at the bag in his hands like it was both his savior and his killer, although I think the 'saviour' terminology won the small argument in his conscience and he swiftly brought the bag to his mouth, took a breath and fell back on to his bed; he lay there perfectly still with an expression of bliss on his face.
A breath, then more stillness as I slow
Imaginary friends - Part 20The Thursday after Christmas day offered me another meeting with Dan.Imaginary friends - Part 202 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
It was pretty decent as some unexpected meeting’s go; some past meetings have literally been ‘Hi.’
‘I’m running late.’
They aren’t fun meetings.
This one came about because both Chris and Phil happened to be catching the same bus into town, so Dan and I got a good twenty minutes together before Chris and Phil went their separate ways at the end of the journey.
Dan spotted me first as he almost always does, although he didn’t do much except wave to begin with since he and Phil were already waiting at the bus stop and we were only walking toward it.
When I noticed him waving at me I sped up my pace and he took a few steps toward me but inevitably nether of our efforts really got us together any quicker than if we’d just continued the way we were going before.
‘Morning Peej.’ He
Imaginary friends - Part 37.6'So Mr and Mrs Lester how did you two meet?' Eddie asked politely as he began eating his dinner that was ‘so lovingly prepared by Mrs Lester’. He’s sat between Phil and the open end of the table, opposite him and Phil are Phil’s parents and martin is sitting at the head of the table between Phil and His dad.Imaginary friends - Part 37.62 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
'We met at university.’ Phil’s mum said. ‘we were lucky in that sense, we were on the same course and we just got on really well, but not everyone’s like that you know there's a couple down the road who didn't meet each other until they were thirty-four.'
'Oh really? What are they like?' Eddie asked just before taking another mouthful.
'They're a lovely couple. They said that they're really glad that they found each other later on though because they said that their tastes changed, particularly Bill's tastes.'
'And what were Bill's tastes?'
'He never said, but he seems pleased to have waited so he found Ellen, instead of one of his pr
Fantastic Sleepover- Phan/Kickthetickz- Part 7Phil’s P.O.VFantastic Sleepover- Phan/Kickthetickz- Part 72 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
“I’m ready to go back out now.” I said it quietly, so quietly I’m surprised Dan actually heard me. He kissed me lightly on top of my head.
“Ok, lets go.” We stood up slowly and I wiped the last of the tears out of my eyes. Dan took my hand and we walked out of my room. When we re-entered Dan’s bedroom we found Chris and PJ sitting silently on Dan’s bed, both with a worried look on their faces. PJ was the first to see us.
“Phil! I am so sorry! Please forgive us!”
“It’s ok Peej, I know you didn’t mean to. Lets forget about this, just for tonight.”
“Whatever you want Phil.”
We set up the Twister mat and began to play. It was so much fun, I actually forgot about my secret relationship with Dan not being secret anymore.
“Right foot blue.” Dan moved his foot to the blue circle, he was literally twisted. He started wobbling and sure enough fell over. Him falling cause
Imaginary friends - Part 23After a week it becomes clear that Netta is well suited to this course. Right now I'm not sure whether fact that Chris is guiding her though almost everything is helping or hindering her progress; Vi won't tell me.Imaginary friends - Part 232 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Vi is quite secretive about what Netta thinks and feels when Chris -and therefore I'm- not about.
She wont tell me anything no matter how much I ask; it's really annoying
'So Vi.' I asked for the fifth time this lesson.
'What is it Peej?'
'Do you want to talk about something?'
She shrugged. 'Why?'
'Because there's nothing better to do.'
'Netta and Chris are having a conversation you know.'
'Yeah about an essay and to be honest Vi I'm more interested in you.'
'Me?' she asked with more surprise than I think was necessary, especially considering the amount of times I've asked over the past week 'But Chris is your real friend. you're supposed to at least know whats going on in his life.'
'Friend?' I scoffed; Chris has never been and probably will never be a friend to me.
Imaginary friends - part 36There's more than a little bit of me that's looking forward to seeing at least some of this thing between Phil and Eddie that's about to go on right in front of my eyes.Imaginary friends - part 362 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
This thing that I'm so looking forward to is a heart-to-heart of sorts, well that’s what Eddie first proposed they do to stop Phil's suspicions completely but after a little further discussion on the topic it’s become really less of a heart to heart and more of a you-ask-me-a-question-and-I'll-give-you-the-truth-the-whole-truth-and-nothing-but-the-truth-I-swear-to-god-I-have-nothing-to-hide -sort of thing and what that really boils down to is that Phil is allowed to ask Eddie anything and Eddie will respond with the complete truth and the same applies the other way around.
it's already been acknowledged that past relationships will come up and so has the fact that this is probably going to get uncomfortable but they both still seem to think it's a good idea, and so here we are; Phil and Eddie
Phan - Mirrors'Everything would just be so much easier if I wasn't gay.' I mumbled to the my bedroom floor, but something didn't sound right when I said it, so I said it again, and again something didn't work. The 'I' sounded funny, as if it ended in an 'e' and it was quieter than the other words I said.Phan - Mirrors2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
I stared at the mirror that I was sat in front of and talking to; I like talking to my mirrored self, I can trust him not to tell my secrets.
Anyway I stared at the mirror and said 'I' but the mirror didn't copy me; the mirror said 'he'.
I said 'I' again and the mirrored version of me said 'he' again, his expression otherwise matching what I would've expected mine to be, and we moved in exactly the same way as we both went to check the other side of the mirror.
I sat back in front of the mirror and looked at him/myself, occasionally making small but sharp movements in an attempt to catch the other me out, but nothing worked, he copied me exactly all the way down to taking breaths. 'He.' I said slyly
Imaginary friends - Part 22The two girls over there, one with brown hair and the other dark blonde, are definitely new to this classroom, and now would be first time Chris has actually spoken to either of them.Imaginary friends - Part 222 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Well he spoke and the blonde one responded, Her name’s Nanette, apparently her friends call her Netta, and she’s the new girl In Chris’ class.
The brunette didn’t say anything so I know literally nothing about her.
‘No; talk to the other one Chris.’ I moaned quietly as their conversation passed pleasantries and began to dig in to why exactly this Netta didn’t stay in her English course. ‘I want to know the pretty brunette girls name.’ I added later.
The brown haired girl was prettier than the Nanette, I don’t know why exactly, there’s just something about the way she held herself, or the way her hair was somehow fixed into shallow waves that draped over her shoulders with such grace that I’ve never seen on anyone before now, and I can
Phan: Kiss It All Better Part1Phil was curled into a ball on his bed in the flat that he and his best friend shared. He hadn't left the flat since he'd heard the news. He wasn't sleeping properly and he didn't feel like eating much. He glanced over the alarm clock next to his bed. It was one in the morning and he really needed to get some sleep, after all it was the funeral tomorrow.Phan: Kiss It All Better Part13 years ago in Romance More Like This
"Phil, seriously! I don't want to go!" Dan sulked as Phil marched him towards Manchester University. It was Dan's first day at uni. He didn't know anyone and was nervous, of course.
"Well you have to. There's no arguing."
"But Phil I don't feel well."
"You're only saying that to get out of going! Do you think I wanted to go to my first day of uni? No, I didn't but I went anyway." Phil placed his hand on the younger boy's back and began to gently push him forward.
When the pair finally reached the entrance to Manchester University Dan turned to face Phil, he was pouting slightly.
"Don't do that." Phil said, "Off you go! We'll
Fantastic Sleepover- Phan/Kickthestickz - Part 2Pj’s PoVFantastic Sleepover- Phan/Kickthestickz - Part 22 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Chris and I both dropped to our knees on the floor beside the pile of DVD’s and games that Dan had left for us to look through.
I brushed aside a few that I’d already played before and heard Chris mutter ‘He has absolutely no idea does he?’
‘Who? What?’ I asked just a little confused.
‘Dan has no idea about the thing does he?’
‘Oh that. Nope, none at all.’ I replied. ‘But it can’t stay like that you know you are going to have to tell him –both of them- soon; tonight even.’
‘Oh do I have to?’ he moaned.
‘Well we can’t just let it happen without giving them any forewarning -that would be mean.’
‘No, I meant do I have to be the one who does it? Why can’t you?’
‘Because you’re better at giving people bad news.’
‘I’m not; I suck at telling people bad things.’
‘Not as badly as I do and besides we flipped a
Imaginary friends - Part 21The moment that I first set foot back in the university halls is the first moment that I realised that I’m all alone again for yet another term.Imaginary friends - Part 212 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
The second half of the Christmas holidays was better than the first; after new year’s eve -which at least for me was a marvellous night spent almost completely with Dan- the January boredom quickly set in for Chris and Phil, and I ended up seeing Dan another five times before he and Phil left to go back to their university campus a day or seven early.
I’m not quite sure when Chris’ lessons start this year, but he seems sort of relieved to have his own independence again.
What I do know is that when he does re-start lessons there’s a new student joining the course; she –I think she’s a she- spent her first term realising how much she really hated the English-type thing that she was taking and so now she’s joining us for the second term and then probably the ones after that.
I can’t remember