Uh Fack, part 1.5 : Some thoughts on perfectionA
nxiousness, frustration and the likes have been effecting me as an artist, holding me back in my pursuit of progress and happiness. I've noticed two things about that: Taking the time to dissect the problem helps me to find the right answers, And I'm all but alone in dealing with these problems.
For me there's two types of challenges in becoming a better artist: the mental blockades, and the actual practicing. The 2nd challenge is the one that is being addressed aplenty in the form of an seemingly infinite numbers of tutorials, live streams, demo's and what not. But if you find yourself struggling with the first challenge there isn't quite as much to work with. Plenty funny, recognizable and sometimes even consoling memes and comics about the topic have been made, but usually they offer little solution. That's why I've decided to focus on the first challenge for now.
Part of the condition of being an artist is the yearning for perfection, e
A Rude Awakening
Let me tell you a tale of a newborns journey within Starcrew, and how difficult the road can be.
I remember waking up hearing my alarm going off, screeching a hideous noise, although this wasn't my actual alarm. It was simply the alarm of, some shit is going down, and you need to get up, otherwise I would sleep all day,
I slowly got out of bed, reached over to the intercom and told them I was coming down. The ship was cold, it had been weeks since we rested at a space city, and we would save fuel by keeping the heating down.
Peering outside of my window, while I was getting dressed, staring into the nothingness of space, I noticed how much the colder the world seemed, perhaps a foreshadowing of things to come. But I didn't let it bother me, I stepped outside into living quarters hallway, a large thump came from Kroes room, you could say he isn't really the early bird type. The hallway was nicely lit, making the place seem more pleasant, an old rug had been placed on the floor of the hall a few months ago. This was incredibly nice, much better than waking up and having to stumble around on a hard metal floor, with this rug, we could enjoy the last piece of comfort before were sent upon a mission, and then experience the warm welcome when we'd return.
I caught Arcan's eye as she turned the cover into the main hall, we've woken up early for missions before, but this seemed different, something was definitely wrong. I heard Kroes door opening, glancing back at him, giving him a short nod then proceeding to the ship's deck.
Kroes upped his pace and was now walking besides me “you know what's going on?” he asked letting out a yawn followed by a stretch. “No idea, but its gotta be something serious.” I replied. We continued until we entered the ship's conference room. This where we would conduct meetings and mission briefings. This was a reasonably small room, the table took up most of the space, surrounded by a few chairs, and a large whiteboard nailed to a wall, pretty low budget, but none of us really cared. The other wall contained a large screen that was used for communication. We walked in to see that both Thea and Arcan had already sat down around the table, the screen displayed a live video of our boss, Miss Miura, she's in charge of several other crew as well, although I bet she liked us the most, since she constantly insisted we called her Miura, when we first started. She was an apex, well dressed, blond, fine kept hair, smooth pale skin, although there were some scars where she had been fighting in her earlier years as a crew member.
Miura had already been speaking but we both quickly caught on. “This is unacceptable, Starcrew gave those barbarians a home, and this is how they repay us? I don't think so, as you might know the Organ Donors have been on edge for a while now, and have finally snapped, we found out yesterday that they had murdered fourteen crew members and wounded eight, Cento crew has been completely wiped out, Hears crew only has a few survivors and Farren crew only has one survivor, it has been decided that you will be the ones to sort this matter out, we all know that Vex has had experience with them before, however your group is far too small for this task, and we have a wiling member to join your crew. He is one of the survivors of their massacres, he has lost the entirety of his crew to them, and is seeking vengeance, so we have decided to put him with you.” After she finished speaking, we all sat in silence, since we all knew people from those crews, I know we wanted vengeance for our fallen crews, but we weren't exactly keen on getting a new crew member. I bet we were all thinking the same thing, we'd take the guy in, just so we could take the Organ Donors on. We all looked at each other exchanging nods and grunts of agreement. “Alright, we'll do it.” Thea said as she cleaned her glasses. “Good, first you'll pick up your new member at Spacecity 441, then you'll proceed to the last known location of the Organ Donors, which will be uploaded into your ships computer, your orders are to exterminate the Organ Donors by any means, this has been issued by the Hierarchy itself, so do try not to disappoint. Also do be wary of their numbers, the last we saw they had over forty members.” After another one of her agonisingly long briefs, the screen shut off.
“We’d better get going” said Thea as she put on her glasses, and proceeded to walk out of the room, Arcan followed shortly after. Me and Kroes simply stood in silence for a moment, “I’m so glad we can finally get rid of those fucking assholes” he said as he walked out of the room shaking he head.
I replied with a simple “yeah” I was never much of a thinker, but when friends and family come into things, it just makes me wonder about things.
Letting out a sigh, then leaving the room, I knew that this week was gonna be a rough one, the Organ Donors were well known for being trouble makers, they were good at what they did, only they were too good at it. These were the kind of monsters that would be sent to a planet to wipe out any life upon it, they were feared, if any of them got aggravated at someone in public, you could bet that you’d wake up in the hospital the next morning. It annoyed me how powerful they knew they were, it annoyed me how its only now the Hierarchy has decided to get rid of them, but what annoyed me the most, was knowing I could have been one of them…
Back in boot camp, and the 42 Grout war, I was known for being vicious, but I could be tamed by three people, these three people make me see that I was not a mindless killing machine, but a team member, someone that they could rely on, as I could rely upon them. When we got assigned to our crews on graduation day, we all could have split up and gone our separate ways. We all possessed the skills for specific crews, only we worked together the best. We didn’t care for our races, we cared for survival and Starcrew. Crews like the Assassins, and the Rioters never got along, but for some reason, we could work together in peace. It’s quite funny actually, it’s so rare of people with such different skills working together and forming a crew, that we don’t even a proper name yet, however we did get an emblem. Which we all wear proudly, although we might not show it, we respect Starcrew for its cause. Which is, to put it simply, it’s just to make the universe seem that little bit better, and since most of us were brought up in harsh conditions, we don’t want that happening to anyone else.
I felt the engines begin to power, that faint hum of the engine was always so soothing; it made sleeping a lot easier when traveling. The space station we heading to, to go pick up that guy, wasn’t too far, maybe an hour’s way. Then would be the trip to the Organ Donors last known location, which would be a few hours travel, but that didn’t bother me, what bothered me was what we would find when we got there.
Some Links of Inspiration & AdviceSome of you may have seen these before, but here are some thoughtful, inspirational, and light-hearted links that have served as a great reminder to myself to keep doing what I do. Sometimes we need these kind of reminders. They've just been hanging around in my bookmarks, and since I saw a few of these things resurface on tumblr today, I decided now was as good a time as any to share.
Studio Shelter "Keep Drawing"
Tales Of Mere Existence: "My Favorite Artistic Advice"
Super Obvious Secrets I Wish They'd Teach In Art School
How to Steal Like an Artist
Exposure, Getting Better, & Having the ChopsEXPOSURE & GETTING BETTER AT WHAT YOU DO
I'm only going off of my own personal experiences talking about these few things. (And I'm not specifically talking about ONLY dA here.) So take it with as many grains of salt as you can.
I've recently been asked questions like "How do I get people to see my work?", "Why am I not receiving commission inquiries?", "Why isn't anyone following my work?", "What can I do to get better?". Often, and I answered it before, the answer is as simple as this:
Create, as in, DRAW. PAINT. RENDER. SCULPT. You have to do develop a tolerance (or the obvious definition: LOVE) for creating if you want exposure and to get better. You have to LOVE the drawing or illustration that you HATE how it came out in the end. You have to ask yourself after every piece, what could I have done to do that differently. And you have to do this frequently.
Some folks come on the scene, post once or twice a week, and expect an audience to flock yo
Say NO to the Internet PricesI've been observing a situation of the artist who courageously set up their prices on very decent prices (in meaning: no more 50 bucks full color image of yer characters! but almost 200$ one for her really nice character painting) where I felt so proud of her for being brave to set up the real price of the art. But I was also a witness of bunch of complaining people (mostly I noticed they were young) screaming that her art is not worth for shitload bucks.
I really wanted to slap faces of these people.
Really, who decide that someone's art is worth that price?
You do not decide how much wort is my art - as my work.
You do not know how much effort I've put into a piece, countless hours, stress, time, including also a years of practice and studies, frustration as well personal finances into the art materials.
Do you think my art is a fun hobby?
You do not decide if my art is a form of fun and what are real feelings with the artist while working on artwork as part of paid job.
It's no more