MockedI'm the girl who is always mocked for how i look
For how i dress
What music i listen to
I sit in bed and cry
Not because of what they say hurts
Because it does
But because I'm not appreciated
Wondering down a path
I try my best
But nothing works
I don't eat because I'm "too fat"
I listen to my music loud to block all the words
Those words that will stick in my head
Make me cut again
I don't want that
I just want to be freed
I feel so trapped
I cant explain it
I begin to have feelings for someone
They aren't ever mutual
I sit and realise
Once again my hopes are dashed
Its a vicious cycle
I've never been told how to love
I've never experienced it
I feel empty
Yet tears slowly roll down my flushed cheeks
Has taken hold of me
ComplimentsThese compliments i receiveCompliments2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Mess me up inside
They confuse what i believe
The negativity cant hide
No i'm not
Have you seen me?
I'm fed up of getting these things said to me
I'm used to the negativity
Its almost like i miss it
its so messed up
I don't understand
I make progress
Then fall 10 steps back
Its a vicious cycle
Over and over again
Its beginning to bore me
I get my hopes up
All the time
In the end
Its always the same
Depression changes people
Many for the worse
I've become someone different
Its hard to overcome
I push the ones i love away
It all ends up in pain
I just want to be me again
The one who didn't acknowledge the depression
Because now i feel its overrun me..
I Need You To KnowStop.I Need You To Know2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I need you to stop what you're doing
And listen to me for a second.
I need you to understand my words
Even though they fall carelessly from my lips.
It will only take a few minutes, I promise.
I need you to know that I love you,
And that I always have.
I cared for you more than myself.
Nothing else matter as long as
You were there to comfort me,
And I thank you for that.
I think you should know that when I
Woke up this morning my first thoughts
Were of you, as they are every morning.
I wanted to know how you felt,
If you were okay,
If you were thinking of me…
Now for the hard part:
I need you to know that I don't want this.
Because it completely blindsided me.
I was suddenly picked up out of this universe
And thrown into another.
And now I am constantly needing a reminder of how to breathe.
I did not ask for this.
I could have picked someone better;
Someone who would wrap their arms
Around my waist and mean it when
They say that everything is okay,
But I didn't. I didn't choose.
GoodbyeThis feelingGoodbye2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Over runs my body
Shuts everything down
All i think about is you
I discover the truth
So much emotion
A little too much to be able to deal with
Getting to know you was a big thing
Gaining the crush was another
You changed my whole way of thinking
You seemed like 'the one'
You were kind
So nice to me
You had this charm i couldn't understand
But then i had this feeling
Something wasn't right
That moment i found out
You had a girlfriend
Seemed to stop everything
My world just fell around me
All i could do was stare into the distance
As tears began to flood my eyes
I recall what i told myself
wait untill ill i was alone to dwell on my feelings
It got to that point later on
I sat down
And there we have it
Everything opened up
Like a dam
The tears flooded down my face
It was never ending
I felt so much for you
And you didn't with me
Story of my life
I later realised
He had his girlfriend all along
He never told me
Something I'm NotI'm not pretty,Something I'm Not3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'm not beautiful,
I'm not gorgeous nor cute.
But I've always found myself different,
Different from the rest.
I don't always like the same music,
Or have the same taste,
I don't always think of what I'll do tomorrow,
Because I know I may not even have tomorrow.
The Lion King wasn't always my favorite movie,
Not at all.
I usually preferred Robin Hood ,
Or my real favorite, Mulan
I write in composition books,
About my sadness and grief,
But I wanted to tell you today,
That I may be something I'm not.
I may not have blonde hair,
People tell me it's light brown.
I may not have blue eyes,
They have an odd tint of gold in them.
And I may not be who I say I am.
Or am I?
I can say that because even I don't know who I am,
But for now, I think I'll enjoy the moment of letting myself be, just a little
Unfamiliar feelingsWords cannot describeUnfamiliar feelings2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
These feelings inside
I think i'm in love
You make me happy
Like no-one ever has before
I decide to tell you
But i've misread the signals
Nothing but friends
The word 'friends'
Echo's in my mind
I've braved it
Disguised my sadness
I step in the house and take down my disguise
I slowly stumble up the stairs and lock my bedroom door
All my tears fall to the floor
I feel so weak
I cant bare to face you
I try forget
It comes back stronger
Not even music can help me escape
This familiar road of pain
Looks like i've got a long way to go
Today i cried at college
The first time my friends saw me like that
You were opposite me
You saw me cry my eyes out
I felt so ashamed
Even more upset
Then i hear even more news
My heart momentarily stopped
Except my tears pour faster than ever
Seems you never liked me like that
I was so stupid
Thinking you would want me
I don't know what to do
What to think
I just want to cry
Poem: Hold OnHold OnPoem: Hold On2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I heard you crying last night
Did you stop trying last night?
You scream there is nothing left
You say there is nothing inside
You used to fly up so high
But you fell to pieces in the sky
You let go of your faith
And threw away your dreams
Try and find something left for us
I'll turn the lights out
Sleep for tonight
I have to leave,
You have to face this alone
You need to build your strength
You lost faith in me
And gave up
You know there is nothing
Left of us
You say it's too late
And nothing hurts
The feelings will come
And some will burn
But some will heal
If you keep strong
You won't hurt anymore
You can lay in the grass
And feel the sun
If you'll just wait for one
Keep shining darling
It's never too late
To turn your life around
Even if only for a day
You can reinvent yourself
And become someone new
Live a different life
And dry off your eyes
Just keep smiling,
I promise you it's not all gone
There is light at the end
All you have to do is hold on
MuteI rip out my vocal cordsMute2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
One at a time
With no disregard towards
The blood and gore I'm
Getting on my rotting palms
No one cares anyways
They wouldn't care if I was dropping bombs
They're too wrapped up in their own days
Why make myself mute
Now they can't hear me complain
About my oh so very cute
And insignificant pain
Now they won't need
To suffer anymore
They will be freed
From me, only a constant sore
EyesCan't you see itEyes3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In my eyes
Can't you tell
What is going on
Are the windows
Into the soul
So can't you see
How broken mine is
The pain is written
All over my face
Maybe that's not it
Maybe you do see
But you just
Maybe acknowleding my life
If you pretend
I'm not there
Then it doesn't matter
I'm not your problem
I'm just another
Nothing you need
To worry about
Just go on living
Like I'm not there
You think because
I stay silent
That must mean
I scream for help
I beg for mercy
Not with my mouth
But with my eyes
I Can't Devour You, Not YetI Can't Devour You, Not Yet:I Can't Devour You, Not Yet2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I long to taste the sweetness of your flesh,
To roll your meat between my tongue and teeth.
So many times have I come - so close -
To taking that first bite from your neck.
Yet, there is something about you,
A scent perhaps or a sickly sap.
It turns bitter upon my tongue,
Poisoning it; I am left unable to eat...
Much like the caterpillar, covered in spines,
Each bite would spew only bitter venom -
Numbing my senses and dulling the mind;
It would leave me naught but a gormless wreck!
Even so, despite me knowing of the repugnant taste,
I am drawn toward you, like a moth to the flame.
May my wings crumble in the heart of the fire -
& body be turned to dust and ash...
If only for the chance to feast once more!
Ah, my dear - I will have you.
& on that day it will be so sweet.
But for now - I'm afraid that -
I must leave this as a mere - tantalizing - fantasy...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 12th December 2012
PrideIt is not a disease.Pride2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It is not a choice.
It certainly isn't in just black and white,
No, there are many colours in a rainbow.
It is not just you.
It is not just me.
It certainly isn't abnormal,
No, there are many people like us.
It is not only painful.
It is not for attention.
It certainly isn't a game,
No, this is serious.
It's what you make it out to be.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Fuck Society"You can't be pretty,Fuck Society2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Without being skinny."
That's what they say,
So I start dieting,
And starving myself,
To follow their way.
"You have a disorder,
If you look too skinny."
So that's what I do,
I start to gain,
But it doesn't feel the same,
How much do I even weigh?
"You need to cover up,
If you still don't wear make-up."
I start to wear make-up,
But I don't feel pretty,
I feel like I'm suffocating,
My mom takes pity.
"Don't cover up too much,
You'll look like a slut."
I stop wearing make-up,
They want everything,
Instead of messing people up,
Why can't they chose something.
"Don't you dare cry,
Hold it in with a sigh."
I dry my tears,
I can't show my fears,
But I'm scared,
What if no one cares?
"But you can let emotions show,
So people can love you more."
My insides start to hurt,
My heart is about to burst,
I'm so confused,
What do I do?
"You want to be perfect?
We'll show you how to work it."
They messed with my head,
Causing me to hate and be hated,
For me, it's too l
Don't Kid YourselfDon't kid yourself that I'm happy.Don't Kid Yourself2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
My heart hurts
My eyes water
My soul is scarred
My skin is a concrete wall,
Protecting the porcelain doll within
I don't want to be this way.
I want happiness
I want joy
I want to wake up smiling
I want to go to sleep content
I want a day filled with real laughter,
Not that I force.
People laugh at me
They say that I'm young and I will be happy eventually,
And I believe that is true
But that doesn't mean I want to spend until then feeling this way
I Need You.What if I need you to stop me?I Need You.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
What if I need you to stop me making myself sick for the fifth time today?
What if I need you to stop me running that razor across my wrist tonight?
But I've got to not need you anymore...
Where are you?
Where are you when I swallow all those pills?
Where are you when I run out of a classroom bursting into tears?
But you're not here for me anymore...
Who can I talk to?
Who can I talk to when I don't want to eat for four days?
Who can I talk to when I can't take things anymore?
But you don't really care anymore....
Who can give me that support?
Who's going to tell me it's okay to be scared?
Who's going to give me that hug when I'm shaking?
But not you, because my problems aren't your responsibility anymore...
But now I am alone.
And I can't feel this way.... Not anymore.
wet scribbles, tattooed tragedyI am shedding my skinwet scribbles, tattooed tragedy2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
like the poetry that bleeds
from your ink-cracked lips
onto the bare bones of my
Unfold these moon-shy limbs
that chase silence
& beg stay-with-me.
For you are the only verse
hidden within this labyrinth
of scar-damaged flesh.
BurialThe mud caked my fingernails.Burial2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
My hair slipped from inside my hood,
blowing across my face.
The wind shifted the leaves on the ground
a collage of yellow, red, and brown
and the earth crawled around me.
The rain fell hard
and the wet grass grabbed at my ankles.
The hole I dug with my own two hands
was between two trees where you and I
used to sit and talk about superheroes,
videogames and high school bullies.
I thought the location fit.
I pulled from my coat pocket
the heart necklace you gave me
the year before you said goodbye
and drove off, leaving skid marks
on the vacant street.
I dropped my heart into the hole
and buried it.
As I walked away,
the rain still pouring,
I picked the mud from inside my fingernails.
Please, don't give up.You’re not alone, even if you feel such sorrowPlease, don't give up.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Please try to calm your mind and forget about tomorrow
I know that life can hurt, but from my happiness you can borrow
Please don't cry anymore, I will help you with the troublesome morrow
Even if the bad seem to be everywhere you go
Just keep in mind that you have to stay away from what’s below
And I know that you’ll learn from these bad experiences
So then you can help those who are inexperienced
Please don’t be sad, everyone has a reason for his or her existence
You can’t ever give up, push through and have resistance
The worst thing you could do is to lose all of your hope
Just promise me that you will try to never mope
The Meaning Of A KissThe simple act of bringing one's lips to close to the sweet contact of another, to which upon seals a promise.The Meaning Of A Kiss2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
A kiss should have meaning and not be given out unless it is meant with solemn clarity and truth.
To kiss the hand, a polite gesture of respect, and the intent to treat the recipient as such. The back of the hand to represent strength, and honor. The palm of the hand represents a treasure, to be carefully held and cherished.
To kiss the forehead, a sign of endearment, and the will to be unbreakably bound by friendship. Above the eyes to represent protection, and shelter.
To kiss the cheek is to hope for a blush, relaying admiration and interest, where you can see eye to eye and outward together, representing the vision of what is to come.
A kiss on the lips, the most important of all, should be a promise, where upon meeting the other person's eyes you will never betray or hurt the soul within that gaze. It is the the ultimate symbol of trust.
This is The Meaning Within A kiss
BulliedHe was by best friendBullied3 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
I tried to help him
But a dark cloud
so black, came down
engulfed the soul I knew.
I watched the lightnin'
the day I caught his wrist
what is this
the scars were emotional
It was always hovering
what was it
that seeped inside
into his heart.
into his very mind now
I know who and what it is,
the sneers, jeers
glares an' stares
in eachothers ears
was just to much to bear.
(He said he didn't care) - 1 Min mark
He gave up sleeping,
He said no one cared
when he tried to tell his mom.
I recall that day,
the look on his face!
(it turned from smiles and laughter
to tears and fears)
shivering as he walked away!
I recall that very day,
The look on his face!
shivering as he walked away!
Tell me what they say
what their sayin' to ya' now,
Tell me what the
DieDie:Die2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Such a simple word, spewed without thought.
"I wish you'd die, I wish you'd be killed."
But what if we actually gave meaning to those words?
Can you understand the emotion, the magnitude, the weight,
Of actually seeing the life of an individual depart?
Can you look them in the eyes, as they bleed into your hands;
Observing their final moments, as the light fades from their eyes?
Or are you simply a soft-hearted coward,
Sitting fat behind a computer, wishing death upon others?
To say that one is deserving of death,
Suggests that you are ready to kill.
And if indeed you are ready to kill,
Then you too must be prepared to die.
"Now please, stop those tears my good man, we've only removed three of your toes so far (^_^)"
-Chen Yuan Wen, 9th July 2013
I Am WishingI am wishing I wasn't alone,I Am Wishing2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That my brain would shut off,
That people would listen
When I whisper the undeniable truth.
But if no one listens
Then who the hell cares?
I am wishing that you were here
To smother my nightmares
And make me feel like I am safe.
If they can't see what I see
When I close my eyes
Then is it really there?
I am wishing that you still loved me,
That you would feel more for me
Than you do for her,
But I will never be good enough.
If you hold me and say everything is fine
Will it be a lie?
And I just wish you would say something
Because the silence screams
More truth than I can take.
And I just miss the sound of your voice like crazy.
But if I can't feel my own heart beating in my chest
Does that mean I am no longer living?
I don't know