Lullaby of a RazorI've been here beforeLullaby of a Razor7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
So many times
Can't seem to get it right
You never die.
Really how much intelligence does this take?
Not much but then your lacking it in the first place
I know where to cut
But not which veins to drain
I'm such a looser my own life I can't take
Just start slashing, pretty soon in your blood you'll be basking
I've tried too many times to count
I ChangedTrying to cover the tears, trying not to show my fears.I Changed10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Why do I keep it all inside? My pain getting harder to hide.
I used to be cheery, it used to be real.
But now it's different, and they're making some big deal.
Saying "Why are you so sad?" and "You look depressed."
Can't you just leave me alone, let it rest?
So maybe I've changed...what's that got to do with you?
Just because I've changed? Well maybe you have too.
No EscapeTaking small pieces from me,No Escape5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
As I lay fragmented and broken
He destroyed what was left of my heart
Casting me into eternal darkness,
For so long I've searched for a way to escape,
Only to be surrounded by this inky blackness
Everything was dismal, nothing made sense
Everywhere I turned, I was surrounded by pain
And all of it came from making a deal with him,
The beautiful devil with the cold, wicked eyes
Same dark smile that haunts me still
Out of nowhere, you appeared to me,
Sent from beyond the realm of dreams
And I was the one who cast you away.
But you hunted me, tracked me down
Using our hearts as a guide
To find your way back to me
It is indescribable, but I will try.
Your scent sends chills through me,
With a voice that breathes life into
My abused, broken soul;
Your touch amazes me with every breath
And when you look at me with those eyes,
My entire world stops
Only for you.
I want to share this feeling with the world,
Yet I do not know how to name
-you do not know of the burden-1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
that lies upon my shoulders
nor the pain
that i carry in my heart.
The ballad of a cutterDream of marks being dug into my chest, Cutting into my flesh once again.The ballad of a cutter7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In places where not many lately save one could testify to have been.
It's rather gruesome, this recurring dream.
I want to watch my body bleed., The pain, it sooths me as nothing
Ever has. Tried being good, too caught up In being bad.
I want to see and feel the flesh being peeled From my skin.
I want it so bad, cause pain takes away every feeling.
Leaves me devoid of devotion to anything but
The simple act of drowning out my very emotions.
My tale has been told many times before, In the eyes of those forever unsure,
The young and the old, and the somewhere in between.
Some of us yes, we crave to bleed free. It's scary to hear, if you've never felt it,
But most of us, we prefer to be dealt it. Try it once and you'll see why we like it.
Adrenalines a rush, but pain's got a bite to it. Bloody and raw is when my skin looks best,
Covered in blood, from the slashes on my breast.
The wrists are too easy, and some do goo
RunBeneath the cadence of your call,Run4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I hear the wolves as they echo through
Darkest hour of the brightest light of night,
Nothing could ever be as dark as you
And what you are to me
What are you to me?
I merely blinked,
As I was eaten alive
Consumed by your hatred
And bled out of such rage.
I've only a single word for you:
Run as far from me,
And as fast as you can;
Else I should catch you
And devour all that is
A thousand ways to fight this feeling,
I shouldn't feel it.
I've never felt that I was human
Surely I must be a monster,
Fighting this monstrous voice inside,
The sound of instinct;
What the hell am I?
I catch your scent on the wind
And know only one thing:
That I must go to you.
Clawing my way past,
Nothing will stand in my way.
OverTell me,Over4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Are you lonely ?
Lost within such a Labyrinthine heart,
Ruling from somewhere up so high,
Glaring down at me with those eyes
There you stand,
So opaque and obscure
With all the little pieces of us,
Twinkling in the distance,
Cannot fill the spaces between
Those that separate our hearts.
And I can't even say your name,
I wish I could just tell you
Someday I will find the strength
To say these words to you
What are you really playing at?
Cruel NovemberToday I picked a bunch of daisies...Cruel November4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And they've got malice in their eyes,
Wanton coming on
Like forbidden decadent chocolate again.
For all the lands that have been stolen
As each of the meadowlarks decide to sing,
This was not meant to be a forever song.
Cast from the fires that burn throughout the abyss,
It is our greatest challenge;
Overcoming the white maiden martyr
She comes to us each night and cries,
Reaching out for the one that her heart still longs for...
And it covers me in coveted waves of silk,
Etched from such tears...
His crystalline presence blanketing the earth,
Sewing his seeds of sorrow and hate...
But they were not the ones to blame.
You've no one but yourself left,
Hiding emotion inside this cruel November...
It is a place of enormous sadness.
Like daisies, in the storm.
One by OneThe human soulOne by One4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Is a thing so hollow
Not even time can fathom
The end to it's fathomless depths
Just like the hole in your heart.
No one wants a broken toy,
That is all that I can ever be
Shameful to burden society
With my petty useless nonsense.
Your eyes betray
So much more than you allow them,
And you are so much more
Than you give yourself credit for.
Haunting melody that calls to me in silence,
As we're gazing at the stars together
Everything goes by,
And we're counting all the scars
One by one
And the hidden meaning behind
The look in your eyes
Says it all.
The KnowingThe KnowingThe Knowing15 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
by jsenn (Joy Senn)
not quite the same
not quite the same as before
before the papered golden ring
before the child from swaddling grew
before the hand of unheard aches
touched us here and here and here
we never knew
I swear to you, we never knew
(we live forever. don't we? nope.)
(does it get better? yup.)
falling leaves . spring renews . summer's sweat
I do digress
now is more
more than before
now we know the knowing
and the power in the word
knowing some mountains won't be climbed
knowing some oceans won't be crossed
knowing the awful wait does end
that patience is not the heavy load
knowing even this
...the rose's scent before the sniff
and this...oh, this, of greater import now
knowing the slightest grin
the unseen move
the imperceptible glint of eye
the elegant, the elegant
there you have it, boiled down
hopes and dreams, love and life
contained by the beginning
smooth assurance, abiding time
For the Deceased Poet and the DreamerI only missed you by 15 yearsFor the Deceased Poet and the Dreamer2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and I know you would have enjoyed
these words I now lay with blue ink.
We see each other near what was a
bowling alley in my youth.
You wave and from a distance yell,
"I am a ghost who was
once not so bald!"
We walk these streets where the gutters
whisper of red rain and river mermaids.
"Oklahoma speaks to me. But that's
not what I mean."
An old man blows cut grass on us
with a gasoline drinking machine. He acts
as though he's grown accustomed, being
old and near - but unafraid of a shadow
holding a scythe, to seeing a scowling ghost
walking with a living local; both
extending hands in an insulting manner.
You seem to have been risen and I say so.
"I will arise and go now."
I say that doesn't sound like you.
You say that's not what you mean.
These streets have sidewalks and potholes
and grass growing through seems;
partial shoe-prints on gum,
dropped calling cards and
used Taco Mayo napkins;
Dragonfly's SymphonyI will forever be bound in this way,Dragonfly's Symphony4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Caught in a spider's web.
A thousand drops of dew
Lying cemented to the floor,
Stretched right across the ceiling
And I am waiting here
I don't flutter like the butterfly,
Hovering around the prettiest flower,
Waiting forever for it to be mine.
Not quite foolish enough
To be the moth anymore,
Always flying into the flame.
I fly instead in straight directions,
Not caring about anything,
Except for getting somewhere;
Zipping past on a whim.
You are like the caterpillar
Waiting in the garden
Spiders weave their webs
Trying to cage me,
When my heart is set in illusion
And I just want to reach the end.
Flawless BelovedSo many people, swimming in a sea of facesFlawless Beloved4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And you were once lost to me...
Though I'd searched, the place was never right
Timing was off just by a few minutes,
Moments slip like grains of sand
Falling down the hourglass of my heart...
From the moment I first saw you,
I know it sounds much too bold
But I knew you'd follow me home
From there, knew one day you'd be mine
To have and to hold,
Someone who compliments me perfectly,
Going hand in hand with my own ways
And so flawlessly intuned with my soul...
For so long I had wondered
Why there was so much darkness within me,
Why I was surrounded by it
Why it consumed me so completely...
But most of all, I wondered why...
It felt like I was missing half of myself,
Like I was incomplete
And without you, I am.
Without you, there can only be dark
There is no light,
And I know it's cliche' but...
You will always be my light
Even in all of this darkness.
Two halves of one shell
Drawn to one another
From across vast distances,
ContortedDancing devilsContorted6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Angels with tambourine's
Wicked circus of depravity.
The pastor's a drinkin'
And the bartender he preaches.
What kind of twisted world's in front of me?
Beer in one hand, bible in the other.
Who's going to heaven or hell I wonder?
Come the morning
Will this have been reality
Or yet another psychotic dream?
Something I'm used to seeing.
Ramblings from the whiskey,
Something I'm skilled in saying.
So what is it to believe?
Cause seeing it, doesn't mean a thing.
PrisonerLiving in such a worldPrisoner4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Where every day is the same,
Everyone looks at you
With those accusing eyes
Saying you're ugly and filled with hatred.
I look at you
With eyes made only
For the one they see
In a dead, cold, blind world
Where claws sink into light,
Waves consume the drowning itself,
Love doesn't know it's own name,
And dreams are impossible.
The soul sings it's own dream;
Something most of us could never do
I am in a better place now,
One without cold steel bars
I am not meant to be caged.
That is what I am.
Imprisoned by the very thought
Of being free.
I HideAll that I am and all that I doI Hide4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Is riddled with pure destruction,
Laced with toxic cyanide;
Never to be touched by mortal hands.
Can you buy a simple soul from me?
No, what I know is not for sale,
And even in your dreams
You could never see anything so pure.
Always saying things like
No, never, broken, so damaged;
Eternal, forever, always, so permanent,
And nothing can ever repair it.
You've stolen such things from me
That cannot be spoken of,
And yet I still must go on knowing
The true source of all this despair
My entire world is dying all around me,
And all I can do is watch the embers burn;
White hot, like the deadly pure magic
Which I am no longer to use.
Addicted to you and all of your charm
Not because of who you are
Or because you treat me well,
But because you cause me pain.
I've always been in love with pain,
Ashen cinders burning to a black death
Always wanting, but never feeling more;
At least I can feel you now
You're the only one in all the world
Who has the p
Cast OutI will forever be known asCast Out5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The girl with the poisoned heart
No one could touch me
Surrounded by an invisible maze of thorns,
Unreachable, untouchable, undesirable.
And you are made of poison
Deadly, killing me
Weeding you out from my garden
You're not welcome in this Eden,
Cursed with the pain
Of a thousand eyes
Yet why is it none of them can see
All the things you do to me?
Moonlit promises only turn
Into halogen lies,
No such thing as safety
Your eyes burning away at my soul,
Where only darkness goes,
There is a hatred that festers and grows.
In a scream-filled fantasy cosmos,
You are dead to me.
This monster that you made me
Tried so hard to make you see
You are a lost soul,
Who can never be complete.
SalienceVile, stinging suspicionsSalience7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Swallow me in their vicious tales.
Temptations abound me daily
To succumb would be eternal hell.
Emerald hues blind me
Who let the monster out?
Deviously clever musings
Enable my downfall.
Halfway into cement steps
I stumble hastily back.
It's a trap!
It's not worth the minuscule exultation.
Now bathing, drowning in my own making
Arcs of self hate
Run currents through damaged veins.
Dragonfly's DemiseButterflies get caught in your eye,Dragonfly's Demise4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Fluttering like wings
Throughout all the lashes
It's a scary feeling.
Dancing in the sky,
It's a revolution
Of the highest evolution
From the caterpillar,
Into the worm
Meanwhile, you were eating
All of the rotten apples
Straight through their core.
And the rattlesnake devoured the dragonfly
Swallowing all of the dragonfly's lie;
It was stricken with no real warning
From out of the blue
Going that much deeper
Just to get away
He chewed her up and spit her out,
Not caring to be poisoned.
And she crawled away
In futile, hopeless despair
She never saw it coming;
This rattlesnake had no tail.
Her wings were ripped away,
Torn down by the power
Of all the victims that came first.
He licked his lips,
With fangs still gleaming in the night.
I Fuckin Hate YouNo, you listen to me,I Fuckin Hate You13 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I\'ve had enough of your shit,
enough of your deciet,
...enough! This is IT!
If I have to listen,
to one more complaint,
from your tired mouth,
I\'ll have to use restraint,
before I pack up and leave,
for the next and final time.
There will be no return,
only one last goodbye.
This negative reinforcement,
isn\'t what I want to hear,
it has the opposite effect,
have I made myself clear?
If i have to listen,
to one more put-down,
it won\'t take long,
til I\'m out of this town.
I\'ll pack up and leave,
for the next and final time.
There will be no return,
not even a goodbye.
I fuckin hate you,
cause you\'re always right.
I fuckin hate you,
and your narrow minded sight.
I fuckin hate you,
and your condescending tone.
I fuckin hate you,
JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
-my breath hitches-1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
at the sound of your voice
my heartbeat quickens
at your pulse felt beneath my fingertips
and my world shatters
at the realization
that you no longer remain at my side.
-i am drowning.-1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
i am suffocating in the sea of lies,
the empty lies that spill from your pink lips,
the ones that cover your sins.
i am drowning.
and there is no hand that reaches out to grab mine;
there is no one to save me.