I Might Need YouI think I might need you,
But here's the thing:
I'm spinning out of control
And careening off the side of the road.
I pretend to hold on to the wheel,
But we both know I'll crash.
It wasn't a fair fight.
If you would listen,
If you would actually listen,
You would hear me whispering
"I want you."
"I need you."
And if you would listen,
If you would actually listen,
You would know that
We are horribly wrong
For each other,
And that my words mean nothing.
But what's to stop us from
Sharing our sheets anyway?
We sleep folded together
Like slips of origami paper
Pressed so tightly that
We could not possibly split.
I think I might need you,
But here's the thing:
I really wish I didn't.
I wish it was you,
And not me.
I Need You To KnowStop.I Need You To Know2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I need you to stop what you're doing
And listen to me for a second.
I need you to understand my words
Even though they fall carelessly from my lips.
It will only take a few minutes, I promise.
I need you to know that I love you,
And that I always have.
I cared for you more than myself.
Nothing else matter as long as
You were there to comfort me,
And I thank you for that.
I think you should know that when I
Woke up this morning my first thoughts
Were of you, as they are every morning.
I wanted to know how you felt,
If you were okay,
If you were thinking of me…
Now for the hard part:
I need you to know that I don't want this.
Because it completely blindsided me.
I was suddenly picked up out of this universe
And thrown into another.
And now I am constantly needing a reminder of how to breathe.
I did not ask for this.
I could have picked someone better;
Someone who would wrap their arms
Around my waist and mean it when
They say that everything is okay,
But I didn't. I didn't choose.
For YouListen:For You3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I would be lying if I said that I didn't
Think of you every time I close my eyes,
That my mind doesn't wander to thoughts
Of you whenever I'm lonely,
That I don't whisper your name
While I sleep.
Truth be told, I am inevitably in love with you.
In a way that makes my heart skip a beat every time
I see you smile, every time I hear you laugh.
It's the fact that I still get butterflies whenever
You lightly whisper my name in my ear
That lets me know we are something more.
Nothing has ever seemed so comforting than
The feeling of your arms wrapped around my waist.
I smile up to you as we share a brief connection of
Soft lips and grazing teeth that makes me swoon.
Believe me when I say that I think of you
Every time I close my eyes,
That my mind always wanders to thoughts
Of you when I'm lonely,
That I whisper your name while I sleep.
Believe me when I say that I love you,
That there's nowhere I'd rather be
Than with you.
I Am WishingI am wishing I wasn't alone,I Am Wishing2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That my brain would shut off,
That people would listen
When I whisper the undeniable truth.
But if no one listens
Then who the hell cares?
I am wishing that you were here
To smother my nightmares
And make me feel like I am safe.
If they can't see what I see
When I close my eyes
Then is it really there?
I am wishing that you still loved me,
That you would feel more for me
Than you do for her,
But I will never be good enough.
If you hold me and say everything is fine
Will it be a lie?
And I just wish you would say something
Because the silence screams
More truth than I can take.
And I just miss the sound of your voice like crazy.
But if I can't feel my own heart beating in my chest
Does that mean I am no longer living?
I don't know
MaybeYour body has been usedMaybe2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
By all of those who are broken.
The ones who are trying to repair
Their own wounds with
No regards towards your own.
You are a hand for him to hold
While he thinks of her
And tries to forget the emptiness
And the fact that he is alone.
For a brief moment while
He is inside of you,
You feel as if you are the
Missing half of the whole,
And it is perfect.
He recites memorized lines
And you wonder who else
Has heard them before you,
But you tell yourself that
You're the first anyway.
Your body has been used
By all of those who are broken,
And you begin to wish that
You could be loved once,
And loved most.
DrowningI feel AshamedDrowning2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Of everything I have ever written,
And everyone I have ever Loved.
I’m growing Tired of writing
About the stories where I fell apart
Again and again.
I’m Sick of crying
For hours upon hours while being
Held by a man who doesn't feel my Pain.
I Wish so badly that I could say,
Because I know I don’t deserve this,
But as the room starts to spin
I know I’m letting myself Down again.
We Will Never BeI met you on August 18th of 2008.We Will Never Be3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I remember how hot it was in the classroom
That day and how your eyes widened with confusion
As I sat down next to you.
I will never forget those eyes.
You loved Mondays and dreaded Fridays.
I thought you were crazy and you told
Me that the only reason was so you
Could see me in school.
I still thought you were crazy.
We would do our math assignments on the
Playground and talk about our lives.
We were so different, but you always
Insisted that we were absolutely perfect.
I wish I would have known how right you were.
I miss you so much that I can't sleep.
But I have to keep moving because you
Promised me that we would be again, remember?
You held my hand for a second too long and
Told me that you would see me tomorrow.
And I believed you because your eyes had that same
Warm look in them that you always got when
You would tell me something important.
I've seen you three times since then, and we
Have walked away from each other
CastleCome with me, little girlCastle2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Let's watch the rose pedals fall
Let's bury your castle
And put up a brick wall
Lets rip off your butterfly wings
And place them in your grave
The demons have come to get you
You better start to behave
Come with me, little girl
For you can only have the gown for an hour
Do they love you, or love you not,
Ripping pedals off a flower
Come with me, little girl
Let's open your scars
And bury your castle,
In the girl you no longer are...
I Can't Hear You AnymoreThe clouds are heavy tonight,I Can't Hear You Anymore2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And I am suffocating,
Choking on my own words
As they fly from my mouth.
You never cared about yourself,
And after your death that
Became hard to think about.
(But I do anyway.)
I suddenly find myself missing
The years we had spent together
And how spider webs would form in
The corners of your eyes when you smiled.
But the thing is that I can’t hear you anymore.
I can’t remember the sound
Of your voice or the feeling of
Your hands as they touched my lips.
You once told me that home
Is where you lie,
But I hate it here, and
I hate living with these ghosts.
When I'm GoneI want to tell you something although IWhen I'm Gone2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Don’t know why I even try.
You were never the type who liked
To listen to what was on my mind,
But I’ll just keep talking anyway.
Maybe this time I’ll get through.
Here’s the thing:
I want to be the reason why
You can’t sleep at night,
Or the reason you don’t eat.
I want you to feel that twist
In your stomach when you see
Something that reminds you of me.
I want you to know the
Feeling of a heart that has been torn.
It beats in your chest, but it still isn't
Enough to convince you that you’re alive.
I want you to feel emptiness every
Time you realize that I’m not there,
And that it is because of you.
Believe me when I say I don’t
Miss you, and that I never could have
Possibly been in love with you.
I want you to see what you've done,
And actually mean it when you say you’re sorry.
I want so many things that will never happen
All because you were better than I was.
I Loved Him OnceI love him once,I Loved Him Once2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That boy that made me smile,
The boy who took away all of my fears.
He was everything to me
And I never wanted to lose him.
I never wanted to see him hurt
Because I couldn’t bear to see him in pain.
He was the guy who made me feel alive.
He made me believe in who I was
And he made me see who I really am.
He’s the guy who cared about me
More than anything.
I wanted to keep him safe,
I wanted to make sure
That no one would ever hurt him,
But I couldn’t have him.
I wasn’t allowed to love him
Because I was told that I couldn’t.
So I lost my feelings for him.
I gave up on trying to love him,
But as long as I live I will always care about him.
I will always want what’s best for him
And I never want to see him hurt.
I loved that boy once,
That boy that made me smile,
The boy who took away all of my fears,
But I’ll always care about him,
And he’ll always be on my mind.
I should have seenI tryI should have seen2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And I try
To be better
I try to be perfect
I want no fault
All for you
I only wish to be everything
And give you everything
I didn't know
I was hurting you
Again and again
You told me I was fine
There's nothing wrong
I should have understood
And accepted myself
We all have faults
It doesn't mean there's something wrong
I just wanted to reach the impossible
I wanted to be perfect
I should have seen
You love me
In my Lover Arms ForeverI've waited for you for a long timeIn my Lover Arms Forever2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But time has kept us apart
Through the years that has happened
All I wish was to see you for a life time
Time has been cruel to all
But to me this is what fate tells us
Deep inside we were always meant to be
Cause your my lover and forever my future
Its been said to all
that we always had a purpose to live
Now I speak the truth to all
Cause my heart always tells me its right
Its been for so long
that I never had this feeling
Until the day that I met you
I knew that I was free to this world
Life has its moments to all
I have got to say that this was best of all
All the thing that we share
This is the precious gift anybody could ask for
Now all I ever want
is to be close beside you where I belong
Cause forever fate will guide us
and forever we will never be apart
This is what we all have hoped for
dreamed of, and nurtured every day
This is all I ever wanted in life
was to be safe in my Lover arms forever
I'm Still HereI am screaming again andI'm Still Here2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Throwing my fists into my mattress.
I am laying here trying so hard
To be something more than this.
My sheets are crumpled from
Being horribly wide awake
And restlessly unconscious,
But they still smell like you.
And it is achingly cruel.
I don't believe I will die,
But I do believe in reckless behavior
Because as hard as I try I
Will never be good enough for you.
My hands don't fit in yours
But I keep trying to force them to.
And I know you will let me
Because I am weak and I
Will undress when you ask me to,
But I really hope you don't.
I am screaming again and
It shakes my bones.
I scream until my voice breaks
And there is nothing left.
I am hollow.
I am empty.
I am too far gone.
PleaseI want you to love mePlease3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A little like I love you.
Like lovers kissing
For the first time that
It sets the world on fire.
And I plan to burn down
With it because I keep failing
To realize that I'm more than
Just a body for you to touch,
A body for you to hold.
You arms around my ribs
Makes me feel so fragile,
But so safe that I could not
Possibly break while you
And I can feel you hand slipping
From mine even though I beg
You to stay because I hate
The word goodbye and how
You look as you walk away.
I want you to remember me
When you arrive.
And I want you to remember me
When you leave me behind.
If someone asked me..If someone asked a couple months ago, that if I ever missed you. I would have bit my lip and turned away. Holding back tears of pain, happiness, regret. Thousands of memories playing over and over through my mind. Memories of us, laughing, kissing, acting as if nothing could ever bring us down.If someone asked me..2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But now, if someone asked me if I missed you, the answer would be yes. Just plain and simple, I thank you for the love you've given me, and all the good times we've shared, despite the fights and hateful words. I look back and see that it won't ever work again even if we tried. Our friendship was altered, but was it worth it? Loosing such a good friend, I could turn to you for almost anything. But now I don't dare try that, I feel so distant from you, it's like I barely even know you.
I know that we'll both find someone else, it's only a matter of time sweetie. We just have to keep our heads held high, our eyes wide open. We're still young, don't expect everything to happen right now
SorryIt doesn't matter if I've kissed anyoneSorry3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Since you've been gone.
And I haven't,
I meant it when I said I wanted
Your lips to be the last ones
Maybe I'm only missing you enough
To make my heart sink.
And I want to be held in arms
That care because I don't
Remember what it feels like.
But I do remember the feeling
Of your hand in mine as we
Fell asleep together.
And I just want you to talk to me.
I want you to smile because of
Something I said, but maybe that's
Too selfish of me.
I was always that way.
I don't know how to live,
There's really no point
When I keep dying every day.
But my lungs keep taking in
The air and I breathe.
A New and Bright FriendshipIt's always been hard to explain my feelingsA New and Bright Friendship2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But right now I'm speechless
I've never thought I could care so much
Yet here I am
Offering my help and support
No matter what.
Some of my darkest corners
Smile when I talk to you
My worries begin to fade
And my stomach feels warm
A new and bright friendship
I'm just glad I met you.
I'm Honestly OkayI'm fine.I'm Honestly Okay2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'm always fine.
I'm sorry if I am acting odd,
But honestly, I'm fine.
She looks away when you catch her eye,
Asks you how you are,
Even though you have just asked the same...
Does this not seem strange?
She acts like being fine,
Is all part of the job description,
She bottles it up inside,
I wonder what she hides.
She sits down and listens to your problems,
Listens and thinks intently,
But have you not seen that far off look in her eyes,
That appears every once in a while?
It never stays for long,
Pops in then straight back out,
Sometimes she has to shake herself,
To bring her thoughts back to reality.
Do you ever notice,
How she never says whats truly on her mind?
Does it worry you?
Keep you up at night?
Her skirt it twirls,
In the midnight sun,
As she spins around,
Never letting you see what she holds.
When you get an honest answer,
When she can look you in the eye,
When you ask how are you,
And do not recieve a lie.
Only then will you truly know her,
Reversed Abduction -Intro-My breath began to choke me. I sprinted through the thick forest, my hair tangled and my skin covered in blood. Fallen branches scraped at my open wounds as wind howled through the trees. My ripped t-shirt felt like it was suffocating me. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t escape. A seemingly invisible tree root tripped me as I tried once again to find a way out of the forest. I landed with a thud in the dirt. In panic, I quickly crawled to a tree and sat, confused and terrified.Reversed Abduction -Intro-1 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
My name is Hazel Moon. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know how to escape. And I don’t know who he is.
But he’s trying to kill me.
I got up, and suddenly, a hand covered my mouth furiously. I tried to scream, but my body was in such a shock that no sound could come out. I tried to break free, but I couldn’t.
What was happening? My thoughts raced through my mind. I tried to scream again, and finally, I actually made a sound
Sleeping Souls Never Liethey buried youSleeping Souls Never Lie2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with stars in your palms, because
they thought it was a crime
you'd never made a wish in your life
the dirt and darkness
was enough to extinguish
their dying lights
(it's okay, your silent skin
said, softly, I always wanted
the sky to bring me to sleep)
the priest begged, believing you
might rise from the hole
you'd dug for yourself
he wanted to let you know
there was something bigger than all of us,
someplace farther than 6 feet under
(I'm alright, your stony eyes
swore, sometimes falling
feels enough like flying)
their voices all filled with tears
even though you said you weren't worth
their worries, they wept for the future
you wouldn't get to live
(I wouldn't have lived it anyways,
they buried you
near the ocean, where the moon
always shone too bright
so you'd never again have to fear
any monsters of the night
they left flowers, photos, notes
and a little bit of themselves, too
when they finally left you
you believed it was right
Goodbye, miscarried babyI love the little baby that I never got to holdGoodbye, miscarried baby2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The baby that I never got to see.
And maybe, just maybe that baby would love us, too
If only that baby got to be.
I love the little baby that was never able to smile
Never even able to survive.
And maybe that baby would have a life worth living
If only that baby was alive.
And maybe that baby had mommy's blue eyes
And daddy's smile, and grandma's tight hugs.
And honestly, there's no way to describe that little baby
And no way to describe the way it was loved.
Run AwayThere have been so many times,Run Away2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have just wanted life to stop.
For me to run away form this life.
You treat me like garbage,
And I don't know how to handle you anymore.
I want out.
If I died young,
Life for you would be the same.
If I died young,
You wouldn't mourn my passing.
If I died young,
You would keep living your life the way it is.
If I died young,
You wouldn't care.
I feel bad for you,
That you're like this.
One of the few people that care about you,
You push away,
And could care less.
So if I died young,
You wouldn't notice.
ContradictionsThese things seem to rule my life,Contradictions2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Some people hate me and cause me strife,
Others think me a hero, ready to sacrifice myself.
Many think me noble, but you can decide that yourself.
Contradictions, they rule my life, "Why did she break up with you?"
A complete and utter list of contradictions, all of which I tell you,
"Does she love you?" I answer she says so, and I love her too.
A contradiction follows, "But then why did she break-up with you?"
That's the mystery, the greatest contradiction of all, to all of you,
But no, I leave out one thing, the thing that kills me inside too.
"I'm just... I'm not happy." What she said, word for word,
And I cry now, because what she said did not go unheard.
Reversed Abduction -Chapter 1- The silver clock hung noisily on the wall, ticking with the sound of a bomb as each second went by. I was impatiently waiting for nine o’clock that evening. The reason? I was practically forced into walking to the mall with my best friend, Lux, and her “boyfriend”, Jack. Jack would repeatedly end their relationship, until he discovered that his good looks weren’t going to get him very far when matched up with his attitude. So, he would beg for Lux to take him back… and Lux, being so in infatuated with him, would agree to the relationship in an instant. Apparently they were back together, and wanted to meet with me at the mall that night. … At nine o’clock… on Sunday.Reversed Abduction -Chapter 1-1 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I turned my head to my mother as she sat on the recliner. Her short, curly blonde hair barely reached her shoulders. She was twirling it with her finger, as if it wasn’t already perfectly shaped and spiraled.