There is so much cynicism in regret
And so much sadness in azure clouds
and plum washed horizons.
Sweeping skies and
cherried burns beyond the atmosphere leave me blinded
I spiral every time I remember the sun,
branded in the walls lining my eyes.
[More charcoal on the fire-
run faster, my iron horse.]
I don't wait for trains-
screaming through timid valleys and fearlessly over centuried bridges.
Cast the mountains in their slurry,
(They live forever too)
so do you.
I keep your hurricanes hidden and
covet them until I can hold no more
And I too will scream over cast-iron bridges,
seeking sunlight over the next ridge
seeking solace over the next bridge
dropping ash and polluting trees with more...
and salt water.
With every stone I have ever skipped
I have hoped for a new outcome,
a longer trail of success,
carving valleys there too, in waterlogged earthquakes
sailing oni have been forgottensailing on2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
left like old shells in another expanse of
free of the erosion, abandoned by the waves
or maybe its i who has forgotten everything else-
cast it away in more glass bottles and faded parchment
let someone else pick up the pieces.
i have none left to give.
there is a godI look at this blank page and see the infinite possibilities.there is a god2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I am underwater.
Drowning in white,
fingers wrapped around the pen,
knowing its the only object that can lift me out.
the only source of lungs,
writing with whatever is left
from my faltering mind.
I wait for my deity,
golden eyes behind dark windows
and heels clicking on pavement,
smoke prevelant. fire in his hands.
cigarettes on the cold ground,
cherry still glowing, alone.
I can tell you he does exist as
another god in a lawless reality.
He is in the somber countenance
of every sinner,
in the shuffled walk of veterans
limping, broken, and alive,
a change behind their eyes.
There was a chain around my neck,
symbolic of his presence- gone,
where his own marks used to be.
It left scars. Like him.
Marking my belief, that soon
He will come back to me.
He is near.
I struggle with the feeling,
of tension spread between us
years waiting, longing
amplified, with every hour passing
and every mile descending
i promise i wont forget, the chain around my neckTell me how you wish to be forgiveni promise i wont forget, the chain around my neck2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
spill your lamentations to the floor
grovel at the feet of every sin youve ever spoken
and drill what prayers are left upon the door.
I know you feel so helpless,
kneeling for the smoke, for the burning trees
hanging another masochistic bullet
for the blood on your black sleeves,
in silver chains around your neck.
You carry a cross, I know
chrome, heavy, leaving bruises and
scars with every step, and every second
crucified to your chest in the irony
of your godless world
held only as a memory
for the irony of your godless years,
your endless years.
oh, my love, your endless fears.
I know you feel so helpless,
how you wish to be forgiven,
I know you carry your chains to feel bound
back to the earth, and to me,
I know your fears, and your lamentations
for I have heard them whispered in your sleep.
You walk through flames and come out unscathed,
dont think I have forgotten
what you come from,
in what fires of hell you were so mercilessly bathed.
snowfall beaconsThere isn't much for me to write about lately.snowfall beacons2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
I could contemplate the cold, the mountains and snow
or I could lament the distance between us,
create a metaphorical connection between you and
the way I see my breath
every time I speak
Every time I breathe.
I could draw pictures in the frost
on car windows, begging to be washed,
wander down the main street with smoke in my hand,
again exhaling visibility. Is it you in the air I see?
You're simply farther down the monochrome asphalt,
always a sorrowful step ahead of me.
You know I could sleep at night,
and avoid the insomnia,
but we both know the impossibility behind the sun
how it blinds us in its haze and reflections
and the dark is always easier to deal with.
We are night-born creatures, you and I
We find our lifetimes in the silence of snowfall,
slave to the backdrop of three-hours-past-midnight
and the lack of noise you only find
in small towns like this one.
Still, in the soundlessness and absent light
we'll continue to find one an
raw and rivetingthere is only one way to express your heavy heart,raw and riveting2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
beating down on your chest,
smothering your ribcage in the acrid smoke of a thousand
Your voice is cracked from the abuse, like your bones,
and the bridge between your eyes
crooked from your chaos
like your fingers bent over guitar strings
bleeding into the music as you strum yourself raw,
twine digging deep into the flesh with every note.
you've forgotten the pick again,
lodged it into your still-beating heart and left it to ache,
strung through like the shaft of an arrow.
it has left shrapnel splintered in your blood stream,
trapped beneath the flesh and leaving trails of collapsed veins,
white track marks on your knuckles, forearms scarred and risen.
you feel the electricity of such long-gone contact as a phantom memory,
it traces its way down your spine,
spreading to the edges
fading with every gasp and intake.
yet as you try to
desperately fill your lungs
you find yourself fighting
for a mind not clouded in
Withered BetweenIt's almost likeWithered Between3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You can't see past last time,
When I broke down and out.
Withered between flames.
You remember everything.
I wasn't good enough,
I couldn't numb the pain.
I couldn't drink from your veins.
I tried to kiss your hands,
Withdrawls never hurt like this.
And thinking never hurt
You couldn't care less.
Salty lips and aching eyes,
I couldn't care more.
crucifixionI am exhausted by this inflictioncrucifixion2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
tired of being your absent deity.
missing, again. comatose as always.
I am regarded from you as that one
you cannot reach
but yearn to grasp
to feel, heart beating,
pulse drumming again in your ears,
under your palms
beneath your fingers.
you pray to me with whispers
under the faded depths of your heavy mind
and unspoken, unheard and relentless on the walls of your reality
trying desperately to break through,
clawing again at the unseen barriers holding us apart
keeping me distant.
i am tired of this pedestal
held up above the crimson waves
and the webbed scars
and these knife wounds through my hands, white with age
and still rough to the touch,
abrasive to the one who made them
not to me.
I wish I could close the distance, still
through the space we've made and the years between,
still, although you've kept me close by trying to push me away
subconsciously, most likely.
i know you havent
Can't Face the Truth (I Blame You)You know I don't care,Can't Face the Truth (I Blame You)3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
About here or there,
About take and share.
Yeah, I'm your nightmare.
I am your perfect liar,
Sinned for Holy Father,
Died for what I'd rather.
Can't look past looks,
Caught on my hooks,
I learnt from books.
My legs like crooks.
I'm not your friend,
Just an empty trend,
Just a forgotten end.
A rose for you to send.
Put me in the ground,
So I can't hear a sound,
So my heart can't pound.
Happy I'm not around.
Ignore all my cries,
The look in my eyes,
The forlorn sighs,
My dwindling size,
My gone disguise,
Lack of prize,
Lack of rise.
I'm not sorry if I hurt you,
For I am lacking in virtue.
I am sorry if I tricked you,
Into thinking that I'd miss you.
You'll be sorry when you see,
You're the one,
Who cut me.