Lost FaithThere is a lot on my mind. A lot. The weeks have flown by lately and yet it's all just been an uneventful, numbing blur. Nothing big (or good) has happened and I feel like I'm just...serving no purpose. Living no life....
I'm still on anti-depressants of course. Only one friend knows and I feel awful for betraying H like this. But how exactly do you tell someone that? Especially when she suffers with depression too?
Is it bad I wish I was depressed like I used to be? That I don't want these pills? I'm just numb. I don't know how I feel anymore. It's the worst feeling anymore. I'd rather feel constant depression than be purely CONFUSED with my emotions. Honestly.
I'm a freak.
I've also come to the conclusion that I no longer believe in God. I don't know if I ever did. I was searching for a comfort of some sort...hope. And he hasn't really done anything. If he is real, the only time he's ever answered prayers is for my mom not having cancer-that was almost a year ago...and that wasn't ev