Ghost of Myself"Ghost of Myself"
By: cookiekeras/Ezra Miles
To give up or give in
Is like becoming a ghost of myself
Hopes and dreams,
Thoughts and feelings
Were they all real?
Your touch, the smell of your hair
All distant with solemn intent
I lie awake at night
Wondering the possibilities
I live in dreams,
Hoping to relive memories
Headphones and piercings
Hoodies and rings
Glasses on tan skin
Staring into an empty sky
Have I become a ghost of who I was?
A ghost of myself
Still living but empty
I used to laugh,
Greet you with a wide grin
Am I stuck within
A ghost of who I was?
Murder Me With ImageryPlease write me a poem.Murder Me With Imagery2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Please, won't you please?
Paint pictures with your words.
Make me fall to my knees.
Dot your I's like bullet wounds,
As my lifeblood leaks.
Cross your T's like switch blades,
Cut my throat with ease.
Stop my breath with your metaphors,
Make my heartbeat cease.
Let the concussion of your verse,
Make me rest in peace.
Steal my soul with each pen-stroke.
It shall be your masterpiece.
The TalkI twirl a lock of hair around my fingersThe Talk1 year ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
And look deep into your eyes
My lips part to give this message
I guess its no surprise
Were both unable to love
And its hard as hell to admit
But Ive taken to you anyway
Even though youre full of shit
You say you dont have feelings
And I can see you have them, somewhere
But theyre not, and never will be, for me
So Ive started not to care
You never knew what I wanted
But gave me most of what I needed
Even after we finished
Most days, I left feeling defeated
I couldnt cry, or scream, or fight
There was nothing there to break
Fixing things was your job, darlin
But my broken smile was fake
In the end, I wanted you for you
And you wanted me for what?
Never mind, just lay down and forget
Close your eyes and keep them shut
I'm Gonna Save You - Frerard 5"Okay, I'll ask him." Mikey said to the person on the other line of the phone. "Gee, Ray ask if you wanna go for a coffee or something like that, he misses you."I'm Gonna Save You - Frerard 53 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Gerard glared up from his comic and saw his little brother stand at the other end of the couch.
He had pretty much only been outside in their garden or at least very close the house the last month and he was oddly enough fine with that.
Ray was one of his best friends and he hadn't told him about the project with getting sober. His friends had been over a few times, but because it was summer they preferred to be outside, maybe down at the beach or stuff like that.
Gerard smiled at his brother and said he would go if he came too. Mikey nodded and agreed to meet down at the nearest Starbucks with Ray and their friend Bob.
About ten minutes later the brothers left and Gerard smiled when the wind blow his hair out is a giant mess. Normally he would get pissed when it happened, but now he just enjoyed the lovely weather.
Black Pariah _Chapter Nine_Black Pariah _Chapter Nine_3 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
He yelled in frustration, trying to get his cold numbed fingers to punch out the right sequence of numbers on the too small payphone buttons.
"Hey Buddy, Cut that shit out! " the bartender called over, half heartedly.
Gerard never paid him any heed; he was too busy praying this was still the right number, that this would work, this would answer his question, all the while dreading hearing that much longed for voice, feeling guilt for the longing, even throughout the horrified screams for his mother that echoed around his head.
"Hello, Mr Iero, Sir?" the young blue haired receptionist babbled into the phone with obvious relief threading through her voice.
"Um... no, sorry, I was just...... um, is he there? I was hoping to speak to him " the unfamiliar male voice stammered into the phone, he sounded upset.
Was this the call her boss had been waiting for before he took off? Could it be THE Gerard himself?
She knew the others voices and it wasn'
You Still Don't Love MeBloody needles and broken hearts.You Still Don't Love Me3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Bandaged, ripped and split apart.
Stitched and healing like a dream.
Reality hits and tears at the seams.
Died to lie and protect an indelible sin.
Dead for a lie of a love deep as skin.
A dull knife carves the deepest scars.
Trapped in a mind lost in never ending wars.
Look deep into my eyes and tell me what you see.
I've been dead this whole time and you still don't love me.
Black Pariah _Chapter Ten_Black Pariah _Chapter Ten_3 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Gerard hung up the phone and stared at it. Now what?
He felt his pocket to make sure the fold of bills and small coins were still there, he hadn't checked in his headlong flight to find the nearest phone.
He turned and made his way to the greasy bar and hoisted himself up onto the stained red plush barstool.
"Bottle of bud and a JD " he told the indifferent bartender,sliding two folded bills across the bar,and tucking the rest of the meagre fold back into his jeans pocket.
May as well wait, see if he phones.
Frank was frantic, he felt like he was going crazy with anger, worry, frustration and grief - all underscored by guilt.
why the hell hadn't they heard from him by now?
Why hadn't anyone found him? -he and the guys had had everyone they knew keeping an eye open for Gerard and all this time nothing.
Then, just when he began to believe as the others did, that he was dead after all, right out the blue - a phone call, from some bar in a city he couldn't
Black Pariah _chapter two_Black Pariah _chapter two_3 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
He drained the plastic bottle with loud pops of the thin bottle walls collapsing at THAT name dropping into his drunken haze.
Frank. Frankie, and so many other pet names they all used to use so casually, that now cut him to the quick just to think, even in the most private sections of his mind.
The empty bottle slid from his weak grasp to fall the few inches to the floor with a quiet hollow thud, as he finally managed to pass through the veil of memory and into a drunken dream filled sleep.
"Frankie, Frankie where are you?"
he called happily, wandering backstage on a warm sunny afternoon, his claret hair bright, and latest costume fitting perfectly, he felt great and looked better and oh! How he knew it, played on it even and knew exactly how to work the crowds of adoring fans and give photographers the special something extra they all wanted.
They had a great afternoon filming the latest video in what he felt was his best creation yet, he usually felt t
Black Pariah _chapter three_Black Pariah _chapter three_3 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Gerard stirred restlessly in his sleep, uncomfortably searching the old junkyard couch for a soft place to rest his head. The old emotions rose up, just to drag him down again.
Lindsay lay listless in a hospital bed, a waxy pale grey tinge to her skin. Her voice was barely above a whisper when she used the last of her waning strength to reach up a trembling hand, a hand that seemed almost thinner that the cannula drip that was inserted and taped to it,in a futile attempt to ease her suffering.
He leaned further forward, so she could stroke his hair and struggle to tell him how much she loved him before another hacking coughing fit sent her frail frame into spasms, making him scream for the nurses again.
The coffin was being lowered under the innocuous sunshine that filtered through the green canopy of leaves that would shelter and protect his Lindsay. It would show the world that he couldn't, the scope of his failure. He stood by on shaking legs, hugging his Bandit too tight
Black Pariah _Chapter_Six_Black Pariah _Chapter_Six_3 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Gerard violently wrenched the door open. He wanted those arms. He could almost feel them holding him, just like they did every time he hit rock-bottom. Frankie was there waiting to catch him. As he stepped outside, he instantly put his head down hiding. He couldn't stand to look Frankie in the eyes, and with Frankie it was impossible not to. He stood frozen outside his mother's door and heard the sounds of traffic and normal people getting on with life. A life that all seemed so surreal and distant to him now.
His spell was broken by the feeling of warmth against him and an arm sliding around his neck. He closed his eyes, not wanting this to be just another drunken fantasy. He needed so much for this to be real. It felt as though his heart was going to pound right out of his chest.
"Ger-Gee, honey. I brought my car. I thought you'd be more comfortable there than in a cab. That ok?" the golden voice from his dreams asked softly, almost whispering in his ear. The arm
Black Pariah _chapter one_Black Pariah _chapter one_3 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
The drizzling rain that came just after nightfall made the dirty streets and tall, looming buildings of the city shine. It was a false glisten, however, a mask to hide the filth and scum it really was. The street was relatively quiet, as everyone had already escaped to their homes from the daily grind. The only sounds one could hear were the occasional wail of a distant siren and the staccato blares of game shows coming from unseen televisions.
A tall dark figure hunched against the drizzling rain, his wet hair straggling over his face. He huddled a small brown paper bag to his chest, as he made his way towards the dark green door that sat between a deserted clothing store and empty, brightly lit Laundromat. His hacking smoker's cough bounced loudly off the buildings, and he heaved a heavy sigh as he fumbled with his key. After a short struggle with the cheap lock and damp wood, he opened the door and disappeared inside.
Gerard leaned wearily against the door o
keep me goingemo, freak, goth and bitch,keep me going3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
all the names,
are all the same,
go die in a hole,
you're a wast of spance,
I'll never give up,
but they want me to,
go slit your wrists,
go crie in a cornel,
im to strong,
i want to keep on going,
they'll keep me going,
the ones who belive,
in the broken me,
they'll fix me up,
good and proper,
they'll fight till the end,
that'll keep me going.
Black Pariah _Chapter Seven_Black Pariah _Chapter Seven_3 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Gerard woke on the battered old couch. He felt maudlin and stiff as he swung his lean body around and dropped his long legs to the floor. He pulled the ashtray that sat on the table closer and lit up. He took a deep drag as he scrubbed his palm across his eyes and up into his hair, all while still dwelling on that car journey to some rehab clinic with Frankie.
He wondered what would have happened if he had made it as far as that clinic. Would he still be here? In this place? At this time? Probably he thought to himself bitterly. After all of his successes, friendships and grandiose schemes, he still ended up a drunk living in shit and sucking the life out of everyone around him with the creeping darkness that had held his soul prisoner for so long.
He went to the small damp, musty smelling tiled bathroom out on the landing which he shared with the unknown occupants of the other two bedsits on his level. He ran the tap until the rust stained water began to resem
Dreaming Of TearsDreaming Of Tears1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Dreaming Of Tears
Weakened to the very core
I can't endure this anymore
I'm going to black out
And be transported to a realm
Where my screams don't make a sound
Hate keeps me bound while I leave my fears to drown
I loath the days without rest
I despise the nights of endless stress
Though I can't settle for anything less
Because lower than this is death
It's like living and sleeping within tortuous realities
Even though I'm unconscious- there is no such thing as rest for me
No one knows how powerful my dreams can be
No one knows all of the graphic images I've seen
Dive into the ocean! / Swim through the thorns!
Let your pain open! / Allow your skin to mourn!
The memories start to fill
Then time stands still
A level of this kind of guilt
Is more than enough to kill
I don't know whats worse- my dreams
Or all of the secrets that I keep
It's hard to believe
This is what I call 'sleep'
In these impure waters
I bathe in the pools
Those of a coward
Twelve white lies chapter 1Twelve white lies chapter 13 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Nothing is like a bad start
The air in the room is filled with smoke. It's almost as dark as it is outside. Except for the few lamps that lights up the stage. There's no one on the stage, tough. And no music is playing.
A DJ is set on the far wall. And he looks rather lost in place. But by all means, he might just look like that. All of the time. He has a headset in his hand and a computer in the other. Ready to set the mixing stand up, it seams.
A giant sign is resting against the wall. It says "party hard", with bold glittery writhing. I think it's more tacky then fancy. It seams to fit the party theme though. It's bright color matches the walls, which is decorated with balloons and glittery decoration. It looks like a ten year old is throwing a birthday party.
But if that were the case, the champagne which is definitely with alcohol would probably not be here. And I would most likely not stand here right now. And as it seams to be the c
Twelve white lies PrologTwelve white lies Prolog3 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Liar with a capital L.
The way he let his hand rest by his side, and the way his cigarette glowed in the night. That was the first thing I noticed.
To be honest, I didn't really look in his direction. I wasn't even going to walk down that street.
But a cold wind, and loud laughter made me turn. Something that usually doesn't makes me turn. Normally I would just ignore it and keep on walking. But not this evening.
He held a glowing cigarette in his right hand. It rested between his index and middle finger. The lit cigarette hung there in his hand like he already had forgotten it. It was newly lit, and the white filter was barely burned on the tip. He put the cigarette package in his jeans pocket. His right front pocket to be exact. Why I saw this, is a mystery to me.
His oversized clothes stood like in contrast to the other styles that surrounded him. The two other guys dressed nothing like him. They wore clothes that fitted them perfectly. Dark jeans and hoodies were probably t
Bleed it out fucking dickBleed it out fucking dick3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"MIKEY YOU FUCKING BITCH, GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!" I heard as I woke up my head was spinning my lungs and stomach feels like they have been ripped and the put back in backwards as I heard Gerard shout again "MIKEY!" my head was killing
"Gerard shut the fuck up, my head is killing me!" I said as I heard the front door slam shut,
"F Frankie baby a are you o o okay?" he asked
"No I'm not you fucking dick, you scared the living shit out of me and fucking when vampire on my arse I hit my head and Mikey the git just watched so you tell me!" I snapped at him opening my eyes looking up to beautiful pale skin that was dotted with blood it suited him
"What!" I said bitterly
"We're vampires!" he said I blinked at him and I let my eyes travel to his mouth where I saw his pearly white fuck fangs I moved my fingers up to my teeth and felt two long fangs with a sharp tip,
"FUCK!" I screamed sitting up and back up and
Wolf's CryWolf's Cry7 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
A wolf basks beneath the night,
Gasping the air below the moons light,
Howling at the rays of midnight sky,
Bewildering the moment with an inner sigh,
I stand alone
In the darkness of this rugged land,
Where nothing can go hand in hand,
Staring into the sky through eyes wistfully,
Into a realm where I can never be truly,
Be on my own
Once I belonged to a pack,
Where trails of footprints go in track,
As we ventured into the mountains bliss,
Where nothing can be seen in the abyss,
I felt so alone
At a time when I needed them most,
My brethren were in the forest lost,
As I journeyed through the woods of Faerie,
Lost in the sensation of a moonlight ferry,
For all the brethren who had lied,
For every lone wolf who had died,
For the hunt where we never succeeded,
For the forest we had never seceded,
For the lost that will never be bribed.
As I wail a lupine howl through the night sky,
An answer to the moon, this is my wo
Weather the TideSitting here in peace and quiet.Weather the Tide1 year ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
A nice break from the daily riot.
Relaxing through a simple dream,
All life really is it would seem.
Breaking the silence, my heartbeat.
Eternal love, shall I ever meet?
A dream we all crawl through in life.
Wishing for hope, living in strife.
We're always praying, day by day
Wishing it would all just go away.
Always learning, always teaching.
For another, always reaching.
Escape the eternal daily grind
When, at long last, the one we now find.
Bonds are formed and our hearts exchange
Our united lives rearrange.
Sitting here in peace and quiet.
A nice break from the daily riot.
You and I, sitting side by side.
Weathering life's unending tide.