~Christmas in Riga~ *Husband!Latvia X Wife!Reader*~Priecīgus Ziemassvētkus~
*Husband!Latvia X Wife!Reader*
'Drabble #12 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
Everything until the horizon line was white,even that small dot far was powdered in the same fluffy tone,estomped among the delicate lines the greyish cloudsh brought.
It was as if a fragile hand untightened the fist in which a generous amount of flour was placed and skattered the content on the ground so that the dough could be baked on the marble like work table.
The little snowflakes glimmered with a shy silvery twinkle,the dim light emanated by the rays which succeded in escaping the canvas of gray landing on the petite stars and creating a symphony of turquoise,pale yellow,estomped red which could easily be mistaken for vivid pink,neon greens and faded purples.
(Name) made her way through the thick layer of snow hand in hand with Raivis,the (f/c) coloured mid length overcoat embracing beautifully her upper curves,becoming loose from under her slim w
~Christmas in Kiev~ *Hubby!M!Ukraine X Wife!Reader~З Різдвом Христовим~~Christmas in Kiev~ *Hubby!M!Ukraine X Wife!Reader3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Husband!Male!Ukraine X Wife!Reader*
'Drabble #23 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
The little (h/c) haired girl drew patterns onto the frozen window,watching the sea of white with bored (e/c) eyes,as she swayed her legs back and forth to keep herself occupied.
"Don't you think they are pretty?" a soft voice came,causing the girl to gasp in surprise and retreat her now cold index finger from the window's glass.
"No,I actually hate snow!I get sick quite fast and my mom gives me all those yucky things to get better!" the girl explained to her small companion,watching his curious baby blue eyes widden in surprise.
"Da,but the snowflakes are nice,aren't they?So soft and delicate,falling to the ground as if they are dancing." the blonde boy explained with a lullying tone,his voice a symphony of notes which reached plesantly the gi
~Christmas in Reykjavik~ *Iceland X Reader*~Gleðileg jól~~Christmas in Reykjavik~ *Iceland X Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Iceland X Reader*
'Drabble #6 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
The female watched in amazement as the capital city of Iceland was a sea of white,snowflakes still graciously making their way to the frozen ground to continue broding the touchable stars,as if the sky moved down or as if a mirror was posed there to reflect it perfectly.
The crispy Nordic wind blew cold disturbing a big pile of snow,removing some of the frozen tears from the structure and in the (h/c) locks of the girl,causing her to giggle.A smile crawled upon the Icelander's features as he watched with soft purple eyes the childish adult female.
His smile dropped though into a frown,as frozen snow got caught into his bright long lashes,some pieces into his silvery white hair and some cruely touched his hot skin as they made their way through his clothes.
"This is war,(Name)!" Emil said,grabbing a handful of snow,modelling it in his gloved palms so that it soon took a round s
~Merry Christmas~ *Finland X Fiancee!Reader*~Hyvää Joulua~~Merry Christmas~ *Finland X Fiancee!Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Drabble #1 from 'All I want for Christmas' series*
*Finland X Fiancee!Reader*
The crispy Nordic wind blew cold,the skies were painted in soft coloured greys,only here and there a stain of white - though there was no sign of snowing.
It was as if those fragile snowflakes eagerly waited for the female's arrival so they could graciously land on the already frozen ground.
Tino let a small sigh escape his lips,his head supported in both his palms as he watched with big purple orbs the horizon line expecting something to happen - or better said,someone to appear.
As if on cue,a small figure appeared in the frame of greens and browns,her laugh echoing,the atmosphere catching something of the (h/c) female's cheerfulness.
The front door opened with a swift movement of the Finnish's male,a smile stretching onto his features as he caught sight of (Name),his purple orbs wide and sparkling with excitement.
"Tino!!!" the female squeaked in happiness,tackling t
~Christmas in Sofia~ *Hubby!Bulgaria X Wife!Reader~Весела Коледа~~Christmas in Sofia~ *Hubby!Bulgaria X Wife!Reader3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Husband!Bulgaria X Wife!Reader*
'Drabble #22 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
(Name) played with the pen in her hand,rotating it until she got to the same point,her eyes lost through the mathematical equarions written in a sloppily way with the white chalk which made students sick.
The female gave up a long time ago even bothering to take down notes,which either way she couldn't even understand.
Searching frenetical for her pencil and realizing after a short period of time she had previously used it to put her hair into a one side lower bun which kept the locks together,she sighed to herself starting to write - or rather said,to draw letters beautifully,as if they were to escape the page and those small curves created a sort of spiral which seemed to never end.
The Mathemathics teacher,mister Beilschmidt fixed his glasses with his index finger,giving his fema
~Gelukkig kerstfeest~ *Netherlands X Reader*~Prettig kerstfeest~~Gelukkig kerstfeest~ *Netherlands X Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Daddy!Netherlands X Mommy!Reader X Child!Fem!Belgium X Child!Male!Belgium*
'Drabble #11 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
The fluffy white bunny shivered at the bubbly's girl touch,the blonde boy giving him a symphatetic look as if the non talking being could actually understand him.The flock of white jumped out of Bella's lap and landed on (Daughter's Name) frilly pink dress,causing the said girl to gasp in surprise.
Peeking one ruby red orb out of the mass of soft pink,the girl's gaze softened and a cute smile was placed onto her features as she started caressing with her thumbs the top of the bunny's head,whose ear fell limp in sign of pleasure - the small creature loved the gentle touch of the (h/c) haired girl,as she ressembled a lot her mom - fragile and trustworthy.
(Name) smiled softly at the scene,picking up Abel's white and blue stripped ribbon and as soon as that happened,the bunny hopped off (Daughter's Name) lap and headed off (Nam
~Christmas in Budapest~ *Male!Hungary X Reader*~Boldog Karácsonyt~~Christmas in Budapest~ *Male!Hungary X Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Male!Hungary X Reader X Fem!Prussia*
'Drabble #13 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
The (e/c) eyed female hummed a melodical tune,tapping her foot gingerly onto the white marble floor,watching with glimmering orbs the safe distance between the Hungarian male and the obnoxious Prussian female.
Daniel ruffled a bit his mocha locks kept into a lower ponytail,annoyed by the situation he was going through.(Name) felt the dense atmosphere and decided it was the best if they finished fast.
"Look Julchen...you are my best friend and all,but I'd appreciate if you stop teasing my husband!" the female spoke in the most delicate tone,causing the Prussian to put her ruby gaze upon her petite body.
"I can't believe you did zhis to me,(Name)!~" Julchen pouted,puckering her pale lips together.
(Name) bit down on her lower lip,trying to hold back the tears which pricked at the corner of her (gem) eyes - but she failed miserably,as they hit her face,flowin
~Christmas in Oslo~ *Husband!Norway X Wife!Reader*~Christmas in Oslo~~Christmas in Oslo~ *Husband!Norway X Wife!Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Husband!Norway X Wife!Reader X Child!Iceland*
~Drabble #2 from ‘All I want for Christmas’ series~
The (h/c)'s female breath came in visible puffs as she made her way through the hectic masses of people moving to a side to another caught in the holiday's spirit.
The (f/c) purse hanged on (Name)'s shoulder,different coloured shopping bags in one hand,as she hoped she would be able to get home soon,away from the several groups talking,doubled over by the noisy engines of the cars which passed by,traffic jams as the main road was busy over the limit.
It was rather easy as a pedestrian to make your way in that holiday atmosphere the capital city of Norway was enveloped in - because if you were a driver,roads were blocked and the traffic was coordinated by several police officers,who kept everything in order.
At night,things would calm down,the illuminating decorations hanged on the electrical poles sending their lights on the powdered pav
~Frohe Weihnachten~ *Daddy!Swiss X Mommy!Reader*~Frohe Weihnachten~~Frohe Weihnachten~ *Daddy!Swiss X Mommy!Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Daddy!Switzerland X Wife!Reader X Child!Lichtenstein*
'Drabble #25 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
The wind roared at the corners of the large mansion,giving off that empty feeling,making it more acute.
The blonde teen removed the glasses he used only when he read or had to complete stacks of important documents,rubbing soothing circles with the edge of slim fingers in attempt to wash off the lost hours of sleep.
He simply missed times when he and the Austrian were getting into fights,which ended won by Vash and with a fuming Roderich promissing he would never play with the Swiss.But as soon as he got into trouble - as the brunette aristocrat seemed to be a magnet for it - the person to tend his wounds so that he wouldn't be punished when he got home and to carry him back there,even if both boys weighted almost the same,was Vash - the Austrian always thanked him with a delicate smile,that black mole onto his pale face contra
Christmas in Tallinn*Daddy!Estonia X Mommy!Reader*~Häid jõule~Christmas in Tallinn*Daddy!Estonia X Mommy!Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Daddy!Estonia X Mommy!Reader*
‘Drabble #19 from ‘All I want for Christmas’ series’
The female`s (e/c) orbs fell upon the handsome Estonian male who just sat there silently,a focused expression crossing his features as he read the quite thick book at an incredible pace – page after page,his index finger pointed onto the yellow sheet,some letters faded or partially covered by a brown stain as if it had previously went through fire,Eduard`s brows furrowed in sign of either annoyance or confusion,but it lasted only for few seconds as in the instant his muscles relaxed.
(Name) tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she dreamily watched the blonde continue studying,sometimes taking down notes in that elegant writing of his in which the letters seemed to reach the upper part of the page and try to evade.
The female loved him for quite a long time,but she just couldn`t gather up her courage and tell hi
~Christmas in Bucharest~ *Hubby!Romania X Reader*~Crăciun Fericit~~Christmas in Bucharest~ *Hubby!Romania X Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Husband!Romania X Wife!Reader*
'Drabble #24 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
"This is my best friend,Dacian!" the brunette explained to the girl who only did to hid behind him,tightening her grip onto the boy's mint green uniform.
"It's ok,I won't bite,promise!" the ruby red eyed promised,making a cross sign with his finger onto his white shirt where the heart was supposed to be.
"I-I'm (Name)!Nice to meet you!" the girl stuttered,reaching her small shakily arm towards the Romanian,who gladly accepted it and gave it a friendly shook.
"Awesome!Now you are mine and Bubu's playmate!" Dacian proclaimed,hugging little (Name) in excitement at which the girl squeaked - because the boy took air out of her lungs by doing that.
The Romanian and the Bulgarian gave eachother a look,bursting into laugh,taking each a hand of (Name)'s into theirs and heading towards the playground.
"A vampire?" (Name) asked,pointing cutely he
Sweet dream - Husband!Norway X Wife!Reader~Søt drøm~Sweet dream - Husband!Norway X Wife!Reader2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
'Sequel to the 'Christmas in Oslo' - Husband!Norway X Wife!Reader X Child!Iceland from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
The (h/c) contently sighed as the Norwegian's warm palms massaged the curve of her shoulders,going south and applying a welcomed pressure onto the lower muscles too.It felt just right how Lukas seemed to drain all that pain from her back with the simple rub of his palms against her form - of course it was all honey and sugar,the idea of the baby both allerting and making the young couple happy - but also brought such pains with it,including the muscle aches.
Feeling herself being brought into a warm hug,(Name) placed her head against the blonde's chest,his hands resting onto the visible baby bump,drawing patterns with his fingers across the dress' material.
"Does it hurt kjære?" the Norwegian asked,his monotonous voice betraying concern.
The (h/c)'s lips curved up into a genuine smile,feeling satisfied - Lukas never failed to make her feel u
~Merry Chrismas~ *Husband!Scotland X Wife!Reader*~Merry Chrismas~~Merry Chrismas~ *Husband!Scotland X Wife!Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Husband!Scotland X Wife!Reader X Child!England*
'Drabble #9 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
The female braided the pretty fiery red locks of her 5 year old daughter while the little one swayed back and forth her tiny feet to keep herself busy.(Daughter's Name) stiffled a yawn,but failed miserably as her mother's touch was more than gentle and the adult's humming was serene as a lullaby.Both (Name) and Arthur laughed at the same time,hers feminine and subtle,his a little bit more manly and loud.
(Daughter's Name) was a precious little girl and she was the princess of the family.She resembled so much her daddy,as if the girl was the sculpted form,both in appearence and sometimes in acting,of Allistor.The pretty vivid red hair,her big emerald green eyes which glimmered with happiness and innocence,her white complexion - everything made her look as a porcelain doll - though (Name) was happy she inherited her father's traits and not hers,as the adult
~God Jul~ *Daddy!Sweden X Mommy!Reader*~God Jul~~God Jul~ *Daddy!Sweden X Mommy!Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Daddy!Sweden X Mommy!Reader X Child!OC!Stockholm X Child!Finland*
'Drabble #17 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
The Swedish male bore his navy blue gaze in the pretty female's direction.Eversince he had been notified that his younger sister Tina died and left behind a new born child in his care,Berwald started taking interest into finding a wife for himself.
His search of such a female was a failure,as the large Swede was quite intimidating and most of the people misunderstood him.But not all of them.
One of the greatest people he had ever met was a female.And she was a beautiful one at that.Delicate and carring,good with children,hardworking and sensitive - she had the perfect traits in the blonde's view.To top that,(Name) - as that was her name - was also Tina's best friend and supported her through good and bad.
Berwald hated her for a small amount of time,as the (h/c) haired female supported the Finnish girl even when she decided t
~Buon Natale~ *Romano X Reader*~Buon Natale~~Buon Natale~ *Romano X Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Romano X Reader*
'Drabble #5 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
The female straightened with the bridge of her soft palm the red material on the table,paying extra attention so that not a single wrinkle was present on it.The small dark haired boy gave her snowflake patterned napkins,for which she beamed her best smile at him and started folding them in beautiful Christmas themed shapes.
The little boy gaped his mouth in surprise,clapping his hands in excitement as if his mother was using some sort of magic he had never seen or ever heard of.
Truth to be told,he thought that his 'madre' was magically making things appear or disappear,such as when his stubborn 'papà' wasn't able to find his jacket even if the female told him was in a certain place,he would defeteadly come to her with a pleading face and she - calm as ever - would take his hand and give him the item from the previously specified spot.
Now the way his mommy was able to
~Merry Christmas~ *Husband!Canada X Wife!Reader*~Merry Christmas~~Merry Christmas~ *Husband!Canada X Wife!Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Husband!Canada X Wife!Reader*
'Drabble #20 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
The female searched for a certain warmth under the red covers she was now missing.Reaching the other end of the bed,she lazily snapped her eyes open,revealing a pair of watery (e/c) orbs.
Rubbing her tightened fists onto her eye,she threw the covers off of her,regretting immediatly she did so.
After debating whether she was to get up or not,(Name) decided it was the best if she at least gave it a try,so she just moved reluctantly to the edge of the bed,slipping on her comfy tricotated socks.
As she was descending the wooden stairs,the smell of freshly made pancakes and mapple syrup invaded her nostrils plesantly,causing her mouth to water and her stomach to beg for a bite of the delicious treat.
Peeking her head into the rather small kitchen,the sight of the Canadian happily finishing the last batch of pancakes and some other good looking desserts,made (Name)'s heart skip
~Christmas in Rome~ *Italy X Reader*~Christmas in Rome~~Christmas in Rome~ *Italy X Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Italy X Reader*
'Drabble #7 from 'All I want for Christmas' series’
The once hot Italian air was now somewhat crispy,bringing chills down the passers spine as they improperly dressed,cold pinching at their rosy cheeks with no mercy.
The atmosphere brought new aromas besides the variety of pasta,either with Alfredo sauce or the bolognese ones,and even the daily eaten pizza seemed better baked,as if a sort of magic was put upon the ingredients.
Different types of dishes were exposed to the public on the long cherry wooden table clothed in red and vivid greens,porcelain plates alligned,as well as silver utensils and crystal glasses.
The fine white marble chamber - which surprisingly enough seemed a princely ballroom waiting for the royal guests - held that lovely smell of pasta,combined with granita and the sweet scent of pannetone freshly baked.
The red satin curtains left unveild the sight of the beautiful paved streets of Rome,but the interior w
~Christmas in Moscow~ *Daddy!Russia X Mommy!Reader~С Рождеством~~Christmas in Moscow~ *Daddy!Russia X Mommy!Reader3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Daddy!Russia X Mommy!Reader X Male!Child!Belarus X Male!Child!Ukraine*
'Drabble #21 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
"What?You've got to be kidding Ivan!" (Name) spoke at one end of the phone,rubbing her temple in soothing circles,which became more like a dig in her skull.
"I'm sorry,sunflower!I really am.But I'm quite caught..." the Russian male tried to explain,his tone unusual apologetical,a heaved sigh coming soon after.
"Look...I've got to end the call.I'll try my best,but most likely I won't be able to get home in time!" he continued,his voice full of guilt.
Not actually waiting for an answer,the phone went with an annoying beep,announcing the call was over.
(Name) felt tears spring in her beautiful (e/c) eyes as she actually realized one thing: her husband and the dad of her kids couldn't come home from Christmas because of snow.
The female remembered now why she hated snow tha
~Christmas in Copenhagen~ *Denmark X Reader*~Glædelig jul~~Christmas in Copenhagen~ *Denmark X Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Denmark X Reader*
‘Drabble #8 from ‘All I want for Christmas’ series’
The laughs echoed in the large living room,blending together so no one knew anymore how his own laugh sounded like.
The sapphire blue orbs of the Dane franatically scaned the vivid atmosphere,a smirk plastered onto his features as he choosed his target,hitting the play button on the camera.
Matthias sneaked behind the velvety red couch which gave him a pretty good view upon the navy blue eyed male without giving off his position.He started narrating in a whispered tone to the inanimate recorder as if it was a person made out of flesh and able to respond to what he said.
“This is uncle Lukas!He is quite a party pooper,but damn,he`ll love you a bunch!Gah!I shouldn`t have used that word.Forget it!This is a bad word.You should never use it!” the Dane continued,facepalming.
“I can hear you,Dane!” Norway cut him off,cocking a light blonde
~Christmas in New York~ *America X Reader*~Christmas in New York~~Christmas in New York~ *America X Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*America X Reader X Child!England*
‘Drabble #14 from ‘All I want for Christmas’ series’
The pretty female straightened her bright red skirt from her two piece suit.She wore a plain ruffled skirt which ended right above her knees with a white cotton like material,a black leather belt at her slim waist and a shirt same colour as the down part,embracing her delicate curves perfectly,swollen from her shoulder to her arm,where the fabric caught on the (s/c) skin.
As a part of her suit,red and white stripped socks caressed gingerly the female`s legs,ending under her knees and kept together by a festive white bow,accompanied by a pair of high heeled satin black boots.Of course the fluffy red Christmas hat couldn`t be forgotten as it stayed proudly on the top of (Name)`s head,her (h/c) locks falling in delicate waves on her shoulders.
The female`s eyes sparkled in excitement as she waved her hand either in sign of welcome or goodbye
~Christmas in Paris~ *France X Reader*~Joyeux Noël~~Christmas in Paris~ *France X Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*France X Reader X Child!Canada X Child!Seychelles*
'Drabble #18 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
"Bonjur à tous!Je m'appelle Suu et j'ai 18 ans.Mon pays d'origine est la Roumanie et je veux faire les gens rire et être vraiment joyeux! " a random blonde girl presented herself,making a thumbs up sign towards her female friend.
"Bonjur!Je m'appelle (Name) et j'ai aussi 18 ans. Mon pays d'origine est (Country Name) et je veux à apporter de bonheur a tous et s'il est possible,de faire les petites enfants de croire à nouveau au Père Noël! " the delicate female smiled a small smile which enveloped her features gently.
A wave of applause filled the air,causing the said female to blush a faded pink - as that was a way of the staff to greet the two new employees.
Both (Name) and Suu gave eachother that look which meant they were satisfied with the reaction,(e/c) eyes gazing into emera
~Last Christmas~ *Male!Belarus X Reader*~Last Christmas~~Last Christmas~ *Male!Belarus X Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Male!Belarus X Reader*
'Drabble #4 of 'All I want for Christmas' series'
(Name) watched with big,curious (e/c) eyes as Nikolai,Dmitri and Ivan decorated the forest green Christmas tree with multicoloured and varied shaped decorations,from the simplest red spheres,to the most complex one such as Santas,glittery angels,plush teddy bears with delicate patterns and so on and so forth.
The quite large mansion in the heart of Russia was enveloped in a festive atmosphere as Christmas was soon to come.
Mistletoe was hanged at the crystal drop lamp,the small white breakable fruits contrasting with the green of the branch itself.
A petite chuckle escaped the female's lips,her eyes wandering to the white marble fireplace,where red and vivid green socks hanged,a snow globe tactically placed in between tall red candles kept in the silver broded support.
The sparks were playing,hitting the interior of the fireplace,the wood cracking with a jingle as it slowly turned i
~White Christmas~ *Husband!England X Wife!Reader*~White Christmas~~White Christmas~ *Husband!England X Wife!Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Husband!England X Wife!Reader*
‘Drabble #3 from ‘All I want for Christmas’ series’
The young couple walked hand in hand,a big smile plastered onto her features,as his was more shy,still giving an happy allure to his handsome face.
The capital city of England was painted in dull greys and couloured blacks as it always had been,the atmosphere humind and holding something of that disgusting mold aroma which caused foreigners to scrunch their noses - as the inhabitants of the said country were already used to it.
The illuminating posts gave off pale yellow rays which danced on the paved streets,the female`s delicate steps almost inaudible as she snaked her arm around her green eyed husband`s to catch some of the warmth his body always held.
(Name) had always been clingy towards people – but when it came to Arthur,the boundaries of her clinginess were not to be surpassed by any human alive.Though he had found it annoying a
~Christmas in Wien~ *Austria X Artist!Reader*~Fröhliche Weihnachten~~Christmas in Wien~ *Austria X Artist!Reader*3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
*Austria X Artist!Reader*
'Drabble #16 from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
The Hungarian female bit down on her lower lip in frustration.She couldn't bear seeing her partener,Roderich Edelstein down and for such a silly reason she could resolve faster than a blink of an eye.She caught her mocha locks into a lower ponytail at her back,as if she was preparing to support the battle of her life.
Peeking her peridot eyes through the half opened door,she could clearly see the delicate form of (Name),also known as her target.The golden yellow sun rays fell gracefully onto the (h/c) locks of the female,making her even more beautiful than she already was.The golden string of the rays which childishly played upon her head broded one with other and created some sort of halo which seemed to float above the oblivious girl's head - if Elizaveta wasn't to know that (Name) was an ordinary female,she would have thought at the moment that
~Up she goes~ *Husband!England X Wife!Reader*~Up she goes~~Up she goes~ *Husband!England X Wife!Reader*2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
'Sequel to 'White Christmas' - Husband!England X Wife!Reader from 'All I want for Christmas' series'
'Up she goes,up,up,/I want to reach her,but it's hard/She's being like the best of me/She's reaching for eternity/I guess that's why I can't reach her/Because she's growing and I can't soar.'.
The female brushed her (h/c) hair with small movements,the action itself soothening her.Of course it was quite hard to hide such a thing - in a way,she felt egoistical to keep it just for herself and Arthur - but her major fear was how his family was to react.
Sighing inwardly,the female placed the hairbrush onto the small wooden table in front of the mirror,glacing once more at her reflection - she had grown unnecessarly tired and her belly proeminent,anouncing she had to speak up already.
Seeing his wife lost into her thoughts,the Brit enveloped her into a warm hug,placing his hand against her baby bump - small,but still there.
"I don't know how am I supposed to go