LT FLYING SANDWICH JIM JAMLIEUTENANT FLYING SANDWICH JIMJAMLT FLYING SANDWICH JIM JAM3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Damn it Jim Jam! You almost killed that diplomat in your recklessnessesesness!"
"That's Lieutenant Flying Sandwich to you bitch!"
The flairs of the commissionaire's nostrils flared into a fireball as he smashed his celery hands onto the desk. Jim Jam had just been sent to save a diplomat from an orphanage for terminally ill children from terrorists who had barricaded the building; it had taken him 10 minutes. 9 minutes of that time was spent making love to Mrs Sandwich. He was covered in margarine.
"I am your superior Sandwich! Now you get results sure but look at the case records! Anyone could replace you! You've solved just as many cases as anyone else!"
Sandwich started to squirm on the desk; leaving a crummy residue of pure anger. Anger to THE MAN. Celery wasn't A MAN (for one he was celery (and a woman)) but he didn't have to be. Apart from being daringly androgynous he stood for everything Sandwich w
The Adventures of Crumple-ManMild-mannered Jeremy Shafer is an origamist, known most for his whimsical, humorous models. But few know that he is actually...The Adventures of Crumple-Man6 years ago in Humor More Like This
CRUMPLE MAAAAAAN, defender of paper, folding, and the purist way!
In Shafer's study
Hmm...it seems I need to add an extra pleat here...
Help me, Crumple Man! My collapse won't work!
Back at the study
What's that? An origamist is in trouble! This is a job for...
*dashes into closet and comes out several seconds later in a paper costume*
CRUMPLE MAN! Fold, fold, and awaaaay!
With his super creasing ability, Crumple Man valley-folds space-time and travels across the globe at super speed!
Citizen 1: Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird!
Citizen 2: It's a crane!
Citizen 3: No, it's Crumple Man!
Crumple Man arrives at the home of the distressed origamist.
CM: Never fear, good origamist! Crumple Man is here!
--HAHAHAHA! I've got you now, Crumple Man!
CM: Gasp! It's none other than my arch nemesis, Dr. Scissors!
Gasp! It's n
Guide - realistic dictatorI've noticed a trend of having dictator/world-ruler/people in a position of power characters. Normally, I find these types of characters fascinating - I love hearing the minutiae of how they keep their regime in control, the cults of personality they develop, their rise and their fall ... it's one of the reasons I love 1984 so much; is Big Brother real? Did he even exist in the first place? Who is the real leader of Oceania? Unfortunately, I've begun to see it addressed shoddily and without much thought, so I decided to make a guide of sorts (more like a glorified checklist) for anyone who is curious on how to develop their dictatorial character, and to make them realistic.Guide - realistic dictator3 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
1. Why do they want power?
I have seen this written away with, "because they want to control everyone", which is true to an extent with many historical figures who were dictators, and also fictional characters. However, this often goes much deeper than "wanting to control everyone" or "they're mad, I tell you! MAD!"
World Domination FormWorld Domination in 9 Easy Steps!World Domination Form4 years ago in Humor More Like This
Thank you for your interest in dominating the world, a dynamic new field filled with rewards and yes, some challenges. Many people believe world domination is not for them, but surprisingly, once they try it many agree it's fun and engaging. This handy checklist can help you get started in the exciting new hobby everyone's talking about!
STEP 1: Choose Your Name
A proper name can liquify the bowels of both enemies and friends alike.
(one check per column, multiple columns allowed):
[ ] Adolf [ ] Violator [ ] The Awesome
[ ] Doctor [ ] Soul-Destroyer [ ] The Merciless
[ ] Billy
General Purpose Love LetterDear: _______________________General Purpose Love Letter4 years ago in Humor More Like This
My love! For too long I have kept my feelings secret. It's time I told you how I really feel, because:
[ ] It's making me crazy.
[ ] It's making my spouse crazy.
[ ] My therapist won't shut up about it.
[ ] The cops will be here any moment and there's no time.
Quite honestly, I'm a little obsessed. How can I make you understand? Let me try:
[ ] I tattooed your name on my body.
[ ] I tattooed your name on my spouse's body.
[ ] I changed all my pet's names to honor you.
[ ] Even the voices in my head are a little afraid of me now.
Whenever I think of you, I:
[ ] Dream of us together, forever.
[ ] Imagine what it would be like to hold you for a time.
[ ] Spasm, pass out, and wake up in a puddle of... um...
[ ] Push harder on the accelerator.
Your voice makes me:
[ ] Sigh contentedly.
[ ] Tremble like a leaf.
[ ] Tremble like a leaf-blower.
[ ] Imagine a choir of angels with loofahs.
I made a gift for you.