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==> Brony Advice: Your Questions Answered #134/35/36! by Cuddlepug


Fantastic art done by: :iconquila111:

Brony Advice is both an active collaboration with artists and an advice column, in the simplest of terms: I want you to send me notes if you have any problems, secrets or comments on the pony fandom of any nature. It doesn't matter how embarrassing, offensive or vicious they might be - if you want someone to comment on them in a rational way, send them over. Maybe there's something within the fandom that you particularly despise, or perhaps you're feeling sad and need to hear some friendly advice? Whatever the motive, send me a note with your comment or question.

I'll then respond with advice and commentary and post the answers up in future installments. Users will remain anonymous, so you don't need to worry about your feelings and thoughts getting out onto DeviantArt. You may find that some of the things that you've personally been feeling will be addressed.

Feel free to note me if you would like your questions and observations to be answered in an upcoming edition. Every edition will be engaging with three issues. The above three featured today were submitted by anonymous deviants.

Other Work By the Artist:

AT:: Oopsie! by quila111 Evacuate The Dance Floor by quila111 Pwincesses of Equestwia by quila111
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Chapter 1
There I was, just sitting underneath the old oak tree. It had been such a peaceful twilit night as the winds of Lai softly blew. I watched the water nymphs sing and dance in the moonlit river as I played a ballad of Water.
The wind was so relaxing… so carefree as it caressed my face ever so gently. The grass, a luscious green, waving to the sky. The clouds, just drifting by as the starry night is their sea.
I sighed in awe as this night was truly a wonder. Sadly, it was time for me to leave as it was almost dinner time. I stood up and pulled my blonde hair behind my pointed ears as the wind started rushing their song.
The nymphs had stopped their dance and smiled up on me. I could hear their silent giggles and whispers. I suspect that they are attracted to me. I waved goodbye to my beautiful friends and walked down the dirt path. A guide back to my peaceful village.

Chapter 2
I journeyed through the dense forests that walled the entrance to the village. Trees as tall as castles and the atmosphere, as grim as graves. Darkness lurked here and fear filled my lungs. I looked around only to see shadows spread around me. Glowing eyes watched me. A blood red of fear loomed in the trees as they glare at me with terror.
The moon was blocked by the tangles of the trees as I looked up. The only noise I could hear was the padding of my footsteps along the hard ground and my breaths deeply flowing in and out. My blonde hair flew about as the winds violently conjured. The whacks on my face were like whips. The only light that guided me were my glowing, sky blue eyes…
I was almost out of that horrid place when I heard whispering near my ears… The cold breath made me stand stiff. We will get you… You cannot hide from darkness… Such cold words pierced through my mind with such tension and force. I shook the thoughts away and continued heading for the village. At least I would feel safe there…

Chapter 3.
I was relieved that I was finally out of that damned forest and able to see the moon again... It brought a smile to my face.
The trees were flowing gently with the wind and the stars glittered in the sapphire sky. A small red glow emitted from the centre of the village. Singing filled the night and dancing made it more faithful. I was carefree and at ease. The sacred dance of Lai was one of peace… Tranquillity… Honour…
Everyone watched me come forward and greeted me happily. I smiled back at them and danced along. My heartbeat was beating to the rhythm of the song. My feet padding and my arms swaying like the water. My hair bounced around in the calm, nightly wind. My eyes brightly wide as I grinned. I started to whisper small words that had started to sing in my head. Oh Lai, our dear, you bring us our light, giving us our sight. May the Guardians keep you safe and well, let the elements be rung at your bell...
Everyone had played their part and it was now time for rest. I went back to my humble home, watching everyone say their goodnights. For some reason…. I felt as if I needed to do something… A duty…. But what?

Chapter 4.
I entered my home and sighed. It was a small place, but it was enough for me. A small bed I had made from simple timber… A barrel of water with my dirty, worn clothes placed in it. A fireplace that I had not used in a while… I decided to light it and hang my clothes to dry.
I looked at myself, gazing at my filthy tunic. All of those chores I had to do… I took off my tunic and placed it in the barrel. I watched as the water turned a murky brown. Glancing at my bed, I wearily stretched in exaustion. As I sat on my bed, I looked out the small window. The moon shone brightly against my pale skin and gave me warmth. I closed my eyes and laid back… Drifting off into another world…

Chapter 5.
I was falling… Down and down… Very slowly…. I watched myself just close my eyes and let myself fall freely… I heard a voice… A divine voice… I looked around to see where it was coming from, but I saw nothing…
The divine voice serenely sung as I continued falling into the darkness…. Dear one… You are the last of the Light… Restore the world and rid it of the Dark… You must save us… Before it is too late… These words echoed through my head. What could it mean? I tried talking back to her, but it was like I was muted… I couldn’t speak out… I saw a hand come out from above me… Glowing brightly… I reached my hand up towards the fading light hand in the sky, desperately trying to pull myself out of the darkness… But I was pulled down… Dark, shadowy tendrils wrapped around me, preventing me from grabbing her hand… I couldn’t escape… A menacing laughter now echoed in the darkness…. Pain struck through my heart…. I couldn’t breathe… What was happening? What is my destiny?


Chapter 6
I woke up with sweat dripping from my brow… I held my blanket tightly in my grip as I gazed out the window. Thinking about what that dream had meant. The tendrils of darkness that were wrapped around me… The divine spirit reaching out her hand… Falling into a pit of shadows… What is it trying to tell me?
I was so confused… I didn’t know what to do. I kept wondering if I should tell my friends, but they probably wouldn’t understand… I got up and went over to the basin. I splashed the cool, pure water on my pale face as the sun shone brightly. As I looked up with the water dripping from my lashes, I could see the village girls carry their baskets full of fresh grown corn cobs and apples. I waved to them gratefully and politely thanked them for helping us all.
They giggled softly and quietly whispered to each other as they walked. Their dresses swayed and twirled as their hair bounced about in the wind. The young and old were well known for their kindness and beauty, but also for their exquisite cooking.
I smiled and had put my favorite tunic on. It was a magnificent shade of indigo with fine gold threading. A leather belt crossed my waist and the skirt of my tunic went down to my thighs. The creamy brown tights were comfortable against my legs and my boots were well worn from travel. It was time for me to do my daily training with the mayor. My daily sword training.

Chapter 7.
I ran over quickly to the mayors residence, the wind was flailing my blonde hair and hitting my face. I could hear all of the children laugh as they played, and I could see the trees flow gracefully and the water rush on by. Such peace is common here. I loved it.
I had finally arrived to the mayor and quickly rushed through the door. I called out for the mayor and quickly grabbed my wooden sword that was leaning against the old chair. I heard footsteps thump against the floors and dishes were shaking.
He had come out of the living room and faced me. His big belly was bulging and his fine grey hairs were bristled upon his head. I heard him guffaw with his proud voice as he held his bulge and looked at me. “Good to see you, my boy. Are you keen for your next set of training?”
I nodded quickly and posed with my sword. "Yes sir!". I felt as if my head was going to drop off from the excitement that had whizzed through. “Good to hear, Fin! Go on to the barracks. I will be there shortly.” He walked off slowly to his room and shut the door behind him.
I went to run out the door but it must have shut and I had knocked into it. I groaned in pain and held my head. As I opened the door slowly, I could hear the mayor laughing. He had probably heard me. I gave a small smile and again rushed off to the barracks, pumped with adrenaline to learn more skills of sword mastery.

Chapter 8.
The barracks were old and horse trodden. The old oak wood had been covered in moss due to thunderous winds and ravaging rain. It was a great place to train though as we could practice our slashes against the unwanted wood.
As I entered through, I saw the mayor stand in the middle with his armour on. His sword was by his side and he stood nobly as he looked down on me. I looked at him in shock as his sword was not of wood… But of steel.
“It’s alright, Fin. I won’t hurt you with it. It is just to see how well you can handle facing a real sword.” The mayor swung the shining sword and pointed it at me, the point at my jugular. I gasped and smiled devilishly as I quickly strafed and tapped my sword on his buttocks.
"Come get me, old man." I stood tall and gestured my sword cheekily, inviting him to attack with all his might. He laughed and had his sword at the ready. A quick slash! I ducked and rolled to his side. With a smirk, I tapped his thigh and jumped back. I could see his small, blue eyes gaze at me with anger as he lunged at me. It may have been a real sword but I would pretend that it is wooden. Just like in our training.
As he tried to lunge and make contact, I dodged every move with ease. Seeing a good moment to strike, I poked his belly with my sword, leaving him winded. He was gasping for air and struggled to concentrate. I grabbed his sword and dropped my practice one. In awe, I twirled it around and gazed upon it as it shone in the sun. I smiled gleefully as I had swung the sword with pride. But then somehow, I felt a sharp prick on my throat. Somehow, the mayor was behind me. How did he get there so fast!? I would have seen him move!
“Fin my boy… You still have much to learn.” I stood nervously as I heard these words. Maybe I was been a bit foolish. I sighed in surrender and nodded. “Go home and rest, boy. A man needs his sleep. And I can tell you hadn’t any.” I nodded and the mayor moved the dagger away from me. I smiled peacefully and slowly walked out the bulky barrack doors. Should I tell him? About the dream I had last night? What if he doesn’t believe me? He would probably laugh. Oh well…. I am sure everything will be alright…

Chapter 9.
As I walked back home, it was very strange because all was quiet… I looked around me and I could see no children playing… No beautiful women helping carrying those delicious, fresh vegetables and fruit… The sky was gloomy, clouded by darkness…
I padded softly as I continued looking around. The winds gushed about, whacking my body with brute force. All was silent, not even the birds were singing. As I looked down, I saw shadows come towards me. I stared in confusion and before I could react, somehow, it held my legs. I couldn’t move. I struggled to break free but it was dragging me down towards the ground. It was like I was sinking. I called out for somebody to help but there was no reply. Lower and lower I sunk… Into the mysterious darkness… I now couldn’t move my arms. This force squeezed me tighter and tighter for each time I wriggled. Up to my neck…. What do I do!? The darkness was overwhelming me. I tried to breathe, but it was now over my nose. The last thing I saw… Was the glowing oracle somehow standing in front of me… Watching me drown in this darkness…

Chapter 10.
I slowly opened my eyes only to see more darkness surround me… I slowly stood up as I held my head in confusion… What was happening to me? I carefully treaded along the dark paths… Nothing was among me… Then a flash of light shone brightly from behind me. I turned and saw a door… A pure white door that had glimmered pierced through the shadows and pointed to me…
I started walking towards the door, but something grabbed my arm. I gasped and looked to see a shadow being hold me with a big, black hand… Its eyes were soullessly red as the stared into my soul… Its malevolent smile cut through me… The maniacal screams and laughter now filled the dense air…
I ran for the door… Reaching my hand out to it, ready to grasp… More and more shadows started to form and began to run after me. Desperately trying to get away, I kept my eyes on the door. I felt like I was going nowhere as I could see the door was still the same distance away… I looked behind me and the minions of the darkness were getting closer… Running and running, I was almost at the door… Finally out of the dark…
Before I could grasp the doors handle, black tendrils surrounded me and wrapped once more… With one arm still free, I stretched out my hand… I was pulled backward and thrown to the ground… The shadows were coming closer with each tread. Trying to pull myself up, I continued looking at the door… I then felt heavy… The minions caught me… I waved my arms, attempting to strike but my arms went straight through them…
They climbed all over me and held me down… I tried to call out for help but their dark hands covered my mouth… I was unable to do anything… As I kept struggling, a black feminine figure appeared over me… She went up towards my face and stared at me with a wicked grin…
You will never succeed, boy. The darkness will reign! You can’t do anything to stop us! We will take over! The light shall be no more!
I stared at her shocked and confused as she raised her arms and laughed with evil… A sudden dagger appeared in her hands and she pointed it at me… You will be mine…
Wriggling to break free of the grip, I watched as she came closer. The knives point was now resting over my heart… As it touched… I felt like something had invaded my body… Something rushing in my blood stream… I shook from so much tension and force that overwhelmed me… A flash of light had burst…
Dear one… You must stop her… Free us… Free us from her despair!


Chapter 11.

I had awoken in a strange place. I was lying on a cold, hard floor made of stone. As I slowly let my eyes adjust, I saw a huge stone roof above me with hanging plants gently waving in the calm wind. The birds flapping were echoing in this mysterious place. Slowly as I got up, still tensed of what had happened, I rested my head in the palm of my hand.
Somehow… I could hear voices sing… A choir singing such a divine song. I looked around only to see more stone and green. Sunlight had slightly shined its way through the cracks of the stony walls. I then heard a voice. Welcome dear one…
“Who are you?” I called out. My only reply was a silent giggle. I looked around for the owner of this voice but I couldn’t find them. I ran towards every pillar, every wall, every crack yet I found nothing.
Fin… Need not worry… Need not find me… You cannot see me just yet… They giggled once again and I then heard a creak. I turned to look behind me and saw a huge wooden door open. How did it get there? It was all walls of stone.
Slowly I approached it and carefully looked through the small crack. Waterfalls, luscious green grass, elder trees and lavender bushes had filled my vision. I entered the strange garden and walked along the stony path. My boots had pattered and my breaths were calm with the wind.
As I looked at the middle of the garden, a marble crescent stood. It shone a pure white as the rays of the Sun were glowing. My curiosity got the better of me and I went towards the statue. Holding my palm in the air close to it, I felt it was warm. It started pulling my hand closer but I snatched it back. More giggling had filled and the sky grew darker.
Looking up, I saw the sun was falling fast and the moon was rising. As the moons rays glow in the sapphire blue sky, the statue was pulsating purple waves. I held my arms in front of my face as the waves pushed and pulled with much force and strength. One last wave had pushed me far back onto the stone path. I groaned as I held my head in pain  and looked back up to the sky. I suddenly saw a glowing white cloud fly above me…

Chapter 12.

Looking closely at the mysterious cloud, I saw a figure with tree brown hair, pale moonlit skin and a crown of gold. Her dress was flowing like white waves among the blue night sky and her eyes were filled with care and worry. She flew down closer to me as I gently sat up. Her eyes gazed in on mine… Such a pale white… So ghostly… I couldn’t look away.
Hello… She whispered. Her voice was so gentle, so quiet and so sacred. As I continued to be captive to her gaze, she held my head with her soft, pale hands and rubbed my cheeks gently. You are the last of the Guardians, dear one… You are the only one who can find it…
“Find what?” I asked.
She sighed and placed her forehead upon mine. I could feel her cold breath blowing calmly on my face and her hair brush on my shoulders. You must find the hidden key… Lai… She is the only one who can bring Light back…
“Lai? Who’s that? And who are you?” I placed my hands on the ground and lifted myself up. Still in her mystic gaze, she smiled and giggled.
Let me show you… She flew closer to me and hugged me tightly, pinning both my arms to my sides. She pulled me upward, higher and higher we went towards the clouds…

Chapter 13.

“What are you doing!?” I yelled out. I didn’t dare move in her arms, fearing if I did, I would fall to my death. I dared not look down and I kept looking up at her face. So beautiful… Such… Finesse in a delicate pale face.
The clouds grew closer and closer as we continued our flight. The clouds felt like soft puppies fur had been brushed against the skin on my face. She had let me go when we have risen above the grey clouds in the dark sky, leaving me falling onto the soft puffs. I looked up at her as she gently floated down.
Her dress was waving softly in the gentle winds and her hair and crown shone brightly against the pale, mystic moons light. Now dear Fin… Listen very closely to me… She waved her arm across the sky and the stars began to dance and form images. There is one of the Light named Lai. She is the divine princess and oracle of this world.
The stars formed into the shape of a woman that had short hair, slim body and a key shaped marking on her left side of her face. The glow of the stars coloured her image. White skin, white hair… The only things of colour were her gorgeous yellow eyes and the black marking of the key.
She is the one you must seek… Only you can bring her back to save this land… Save this entire world…
“Why only me?” She looked at me deeply and walked closer. Caught in her gaze again, she whispered.
Because my dear Fin… You are the last Light Guardian…
I looked at her in confusion and she simply laughed. She then handed me a golden rimmed mirror that had been lit by moonlight.
Look at your eyes, dear one… What colour are they?
“Blue. They had always been an aqua blue. What makes them so special?”
Look again… I gazed in the mirror again and I had seen my eyes were slightly glowing. I gasped in shock and put my hands towards my eyes, dropping the mirror onto the soft, spongy cloud.
Those glowing blue eyes of yours are the only ones in existence. There were four Guardians that had these strange eyes. They all resemble elements. She waved her arm to the night sky again and images of four people were now shown across the stars. Tao, the Guardian of Earthren. He had green, tough looking eyes to symbolize his strength. The man she pointed to was very big and bulky, shoulder length hair and a huge sword resting on his back.
She then pointed to a woman with a very slim and acrobatic figure. Knee length hair was twirling behind her as she danced and her eyes shone a very bright white. Ariel, the Guardian to the Breaths of Windrel. She was well known for her cunning during battle and the graceful beauty she possessed.
I noticed she held a small dagger in each hand as she twirled. She looked pretty… But dangerous…
Another woman now appeared in the stars. Her hair was flaring like a flickering flame and I could see a small light in her hand. Her eyes furiously shone a vibrant orange. Flair, the Guardian of Firea. She had a firey attitude and yet, she was so kind and gentle.
“What happened to them?” I asked in curiosity. The woman simply lowered her head and I saw a small tear had shed.
Unfortunately… They had fallen to the darkness… She waved her arm again and I saw the image of me in the ever glowing stars. I saw that I was smaller than the others and I had a small sword in my hand. I watched as my tunic and hair softly swayed in the image and my eyes glow a soft blue. You are Fin. The Guardian of Waywa.
“Waywa?” Waywa is of an ancient language. Meaning ‘Water’… I continued looking up at the sky and slowly walked closer to the image. “Who are you then?”
I am one of the Goddesses. Loyal oracles to Lai. I am the one of Lune. She waved her arm and the stars began to dance again while the moon started to smile. I gazed at her in awe as she walked towards me. She knelt down and a flash of light appeared. I covered my eyes and looked away as it was too bright to bear. I looked back to her and saw she held a sword in her hands and her head had lowered. This is yours, dear one… Use it well and save us all…
I gently reached for the sword and slowly lifted it from her hands. The blade was a magnificent silver as the moonlit rays kissed it. A golden handle with a light blue gem had held the blade in place. The hilt had fine carvings of what looked like an old written language.
Dear one… Do you accept this fate? Will you find Lai and save the world from Darkness?
I nodded in response and I saw her smile. Well, go on. Find her. And good luck! She waved her hand again and a hole had formed through the cloud underneath my feet. I fell through, seeing her bright face smile at me as I fell further and further down…

Chapter 14

Falling… Falling… Just like in that dream I had that night… I didn’t dare shut my eyes as I feared that the darkness will find its way to me. I watched as the clouds started turning pink from the rising, new born sun. I watched as the dark blue started to shade lavender purple and the clouds drifting calmly. Birds of white flew above me and danced as the warm sun’s rays had shined brightly against their soft, fluffed up feathers.
Even though I continued falling, I felt as if I had nothing to worry about… The wind was just slowly gushing onto my back and through my sandy blonde hair… My tunic was flying about wildly from the tension of the fall and I felt the sword rattle in my hand. Gripping it tightly, I finally closed my eyes and continued to fall.
As I opened my eyes again, I saw white, glowing feathers lay underneath me. I landed softly onto the bed of wings and started to float down. Lakes were now glittering against the rays of the welcoming dawn and the trees started to show their beautiful green hair of leaves.
The sky had become to transform into the peaceful blue it normally wore and the clouds puffed up into the pure white creations I was accustomed to seeing. I had finally reached land and my legs started to slowly touch the ground once again. Onto the luscious sea of grass, I continued to gaze up at the clouds… Still holding the magnificent sword as it shined its noble silver steel…

Chapter 15.

I sighed and lowered my head to look at the rest of my surroundings. A huge waterfall gracefully fell its pure, clear water against the rocks of the mountains foot. A lake had formed underneath it from erosion and time, always ever-flowing. The tall trees of old had surrounded the beautiful sanctuary, the leaves of olive green softly swayed and the animals treaded peacefully against the ocean of lime green grass.
I went closer to the pure lake and stared at my reflection that had emitted. The water started to wave calmly and a saw a vision had formed. I watched as the reflection continued to change, slowly waving and dripping. The reflection showed a magnificent stone temple that had stood tall against the trees and could be clearly seen from the canopy. The grey, rough walls were covered in ancient encryptions and tangled in vines with long, sharp-pointed thorns.
I turned to look around again and I saw the point of the temple glowing eastward. “Well. I guess that is where I have to go first…” I headed for the point in the sky, gripping my sword tightly ready for any dangers to come.

Chapter 16.

Carefully I treaded through the deep woods as the light couldn’t shine through the density of the leaves. I could hear laughter and cackles in the darkness and the shadows as they continued to loom over me. All else was silent… No birds singing their ballads or the rustling of the trees with the winds… Nothing… But the cackles of darkness and the deep breaths that were heaving out of me.
All of a sudden, a black, shady cloud appeared before me. I watched it as it landed to the ground and a black shadow being had formed from underneath it. Rising up slowly, it stared at me with malevolent yellow eyes as I watched it smile an evil grin. Sharp, pearly white teeth had barred from its wide mouth and it spoke. “You will be ours. You cannot see the Light again! You will fall!”
I gasped as I saw it lunge for me with its huge hands, fingers twiddling to grab a hold. I jumped backwards and it simply stood still again with the grin of white still cut across its face. It then disappeared into a cloud and invisible to my eyesight.
I looked around nervously as I held the noble sword in my hands, all I could see were the dark trees that were surrounding me. Hearing a cackle again, I felt myself been pushed, making me fall to the ground and losing my grip to the sword.
I struggled to get up, but I then felt heavy on my back. Feeling myself been turned by force, I realized that the shadow being had me in its clutches. Its eyes stared deeply into my soul with that furious yellow glow and its smile had made me tense up.
“You’re ours now!” It held one of its hands above my face and slowly pushed it towards me. I felt around me with my right arm to try and grab the sword that was just inches away. I slightly touched the hilt and jolted myself to grab it.
Before it could react, I stabbed it in the chest, right where the heart would have been. A loud, dark scream now filled the once silent air and pierced through my ears, making them ring from the force.
I watched it hold its head with its shadowy hands and close its yellow eyes. It then dispersed with a blast of light and a white butterfly had formed from its shady remains. It had beaten its pure white wings and flew closer to me gracefully. Hello.
“Hello?” I stared at it in confusion as I still lay on the dark green sea of grass.
Thank you dear one… You have freed me from her evil curse…
“Her? Who are you talking about?” It flapped down even further and landed gently on my chest. As I looked closely, I saw a tiny, feminine body purely of white. I saw her cross her legs as she sat and stared at me with pure white eyes.
You don’t know?

Chapter 17.

“Know what?”
She sighed and cross her arms in anger and sadness. Empress Shade… She is the ruler of the Darkness… She wants you Fin. She wants to find you and turn you dark like her.
Quizzically, I carefully sat up and made her fall gently into my open hands. She whimpered and looked back to me. She wants to marry you… She wants you for herself… She also wants to reign this world with her darkness. So if she does find you, I am afraid all is lost…
I gasped in shock and quickly jumped up with her delicate body still in my pale hands. “What!?” Her small hands held her face as she tried to hide her shame.
If you do not find Lai soon… Well… I guess it’s over… I pulled my hands closer to my face to look closely at her. I saw she moved her hands away from her face to look at me. Her face was red and her eyes widened to show her glowing white eyes. I smiled at her and kissed her tiny head of brown hair.
“Light will stand strong. I am sure of it. Thank you little one for telling me about Shade. You are very helpful.” I heard a small giggle and watched as she hid her face once again. I felt the beats of her gentile wings against my palms as she floated upwards.
Thank you Fin! I know you can do it! She waved and then floated off into the darkness of the trees; her white glow had slowly faded as she went deeper into the thick forest. Looking back at the point in the sky, gripping my sword tightly, I ran as fast as I could with the winds once again brushing my face and the sun shining its noble, bright glow.

Chapter 18.

As I slowly walked out of the dense forest, I had finally reached the temple. A tall, stony building with cryptic Lai markings all over it. Looking above me, I saw the huge point stand strong in the sunlight, shining a powerful green aura as I held up my hand. The earth began to shake and tremble underneath my feet and the blinding green light furiously beamed. I quickly covered my eyes and turned myself away, my tunic was waving back and forth, my boots shook with great force and my head started to rumble. No sooner, the earth had softened and stopped its shaking.
Slowly opening my light filled eyes, I glanced at the temple once again and to my surprise, a door had opened. Peering through, only darkness was to be seen. Looking both sides of me, watching with caution, I took a step forward… Slowly treading towards the cryptic entrance. I held the doors gently with my hands and continued to glare inside. Voices beckoned me to enter the mysterious building of old. Come on… Enter… You will be alright… Gazing in deeply, I entered with my sword still in hand. A sudden slam had sounded behind me. I spun on my heel and saw that the door had shut forcefully. My eyes were now glowing their water blue shine and had lit the walls in front of me.
“I guess I have no choice now…”
I breathed out slowly and began to wander… Deep into the darkness once again…

Chapter 19.

Carefully treading, further and further down I went, ready for anything that dared attack. I could feel along the walls that there were small bumps from the ancient encryptions of the Earthren language. I’d stop to look at them from time to time as I was curious of their life and past. Small pictures of women dancing on dirt mountains and men beating massive drums had filled the walls.
“Maybe… That was for a ceremony… Like what we do back in my village… Hmm…”
I gently sheathed my sword onto my belt and continued. The only sounds I could hear were the pads of my worn boots and the scratching of my fingers running along the ancient barriers. I had finally seen light at the end of the dark corridor and had decided to run to it. Running and running, happy to see light again. I then heard crackling underneath me and felt the ground shake.
I stopped and looked down to my feet. The floor was collapsing.
“Oh no!” I yelled out and I had quickly sped off again. I was almost there… Almost at the light… Reaching out my hands to jump as the floor in front had already collapsed.
I jumped over the gap, hoping that I would have been able to reach it. Thankfully, I was able to reach it… I slowly turned my head to look behind me and I watched as the rest of the ground started to crumble and fall.
Breathing heavily, I started to walk forward again, entering the light. I had to cover my eyes as been in the dark for that short while had made me dizzy and out of focus. Looking again after adjusting to the brightness, I saw this humongous door stand before me. Torch fires had been lit around it and the encryptions had… Been moving… I walked closely to one of the walls and stared at it in curiosity as they continued to move around.
Fin… You shouldn’t have come here….
A strange voice spoke to me.
“W-who are you?” I looked around and stared up to the roof of the room.
You’ll see…
Frightened, I quickly placed my hand on the swords hilt. But before I could wield it, I suddenly passed out.
My world went black…

Chapter 20.

I was lying across a dirt ground when I had awoken. As I looked up, the sky was just pure black. Slowly, I had pulled myself up and continued to look around. The ground was a very dark brown, the walls were the colour of dampened sand and there were tall pillars of dark red standing around the walls. Small lanterns that had swung around the pillars were the only light other than the glow of my eyes. I then saw a glow of green, standing in the middle of the room. I walked closer to it but it kept moving further back.
“Who are you?” I called out, my only reply was a laughter. The voice sounded young, like a 13 year old child.
“Show yourself!”
The glow of the eyes had come closer to me with each padding step I heard echoing from the hard earth. The figure was then shown in the shine of the lanterns light. A boy a bit smaller than me with brown shoulder length hair and tanned skin had cut a smile across his face as he watched me. He was wearing a green shirt with a brown over jacket and his pants were black. As I looked down, I saw he wasn’t wearing any footwear.
“Hello Fin. Nice to meet you.”
His voice made me jump and stare straight back into his deep green eyes. His face was still grinning as he pulled a thick sword from along his back. The hilt was hidden by his hair, I didn't even know he had a weapon.
“Who are you?” Still gazing at my soul and cutting a smile, he had suddenly twitched his fingers that were around his sword. I then felt a sudden snatch along my arms and I was pulled back a bit from force. I looked behind me and seen that dark green vines had latched onto my forearms, making me unable to grab my sword from my hips.
“I am Tao. Guardian of the Earthren people. My leader has asked for me to bring you to her.”
I looked back to the child with eyes widely open from shock.
I thought Tao was a big, burly man! What happened!?
Tao had walked closer towards me with his sword still in his hand, pointed to my direction.
“Tao! What’s happened to you!? Who is your leader!?” He lowered his head and his smile had broken.
“I am not one of Light anymore. The Light are weak! You hear me!? WEAK!”


Chapter 21.

“What!? No! What makes you think that!?”
I kept tugging at the vines to release their hold of me as I continued yelling at him. Tao simply laughed.
His voice suddenly sounded deeper. Like a fully grown man. Looking back at him, he was now a tall, muscular man with a dark green tunic and his pants were dark brown. He was also now wearing big black boots, much bigger than any normal persons. His hair was still the shoulder length brown and the bottom of his chin had black whiskers.
“Are you ready to battle, Fin?”
Still shocked from the sudden transformation, I nodded as a response to his challenge. With another twitch of his fingers, I felt no more grip and I had stumbled forward. I stared at him angrily and sheathed my sword into my hands. Tao laughed as his had proudly shown off his sword and how big it was.
“I doubt you will beat me, lad. Look at you compared to me. I am much bigger and much stronger than that puny little body of yours. Beware, I will not hold back.”
I barred my teeth tightly and had run forward towards him with my noble blade pointed towards his chest.


Chapter 22.

With a clash of steel, we both collided. Facing each other as our blades began to scratch screams and cries of metal.
“Is that the best you can do!?” Tao yelled out, making the ground rumble and quake. I quickly backed away as he drew back and slashed again, aiming for my arm.
“Tao! Don’t you remember your duty!? To protect the world! Not help harm it!”
I jumped up and lifted my sword above my head ready to strike. But before I could get a hit, vines had wrapped around my waists and had thrown me hard onto the ground. I groaned in pain as I held my head and dropped the sword.
“You are too weak boy! Come and get up like a man! You talk so big about defeating me! Do it then!”
I looked up at him and he had started to run towards me with the heavy blade dragging across the dirt floor, leaving cracks along the path he made. I scrambled along as he came closer and closer each passing second.
What do I do!? He’s too strong!
I kept moving backward on my hands and legs until my back collided with the pillar. I looked around and then stared back at him in fear as he had lifted the enormous blade above his shoulders and yelled out a battle cry. As he began to swing it down, I quickly rolled to the left of me, making him hit the pillar instead of me.
The pillar began to crackle and crumble from the force of the attack and had finally collapsed from the powerful strike. Tao let out a roar of anger as the pillars debris had fallen on him.
“You stupid boy! How dare you!”
I laid on my torso and began to crawl for my sword to avoid the debris still falling. I reached out my arm to grab the shining blade but then Tao had caught my ankles and started to pull me towards him.
“Let me go!” I began to wriggle my legs to see if it would make him release me but the grip of his burly hands were just too strong so I began to stretch out more, struggling to reach for my only hope.
My blade.

Chapter 23.

“You’re not going to win boy! Not if I can help it!”
He tugged me hard, dragging me across the hard ground again. I felt as if my legs were about to be pulled off from my limbs.
“Must… Reach…” I was tearing myself apart just trying to grab my sword from the cold earth.
Come on… Almost got it….
With a final jump, I was able to grip my blade once again. I twisted my back and waved my sword onto Tao's arm, leaving a huge cut along his muscular arms and him crying out in pain. He got up slowly and held his arm to stop the bleeding. I quickly bolted away from him and held my sword in front of me in case he dared attack again.
Tao dropped his arm and it waved around weakly as he ran towards me again.
What!? How!?
But before he could reach me, he had fallen over and landing near my feet.
Fearfully, I moved my legs away from his range and knelt to see his face. Tao weakly looked at me with pleading eyes as the glow of emerald began to fade.
“Fin… Strike my heart… Do it…”
With shock, I shook my head.
“Why!? I don’t want to kill you!” I then heard a faint laughter coming from him as he closed his eyes.
“Just do it, you coward.”

Chapter 24.

I came forth to him and lifted my sword above my head in fear as his eyes still gazed at me with despair. I shut my eyes tightly and quickly struck the blade downward towards his chest.
A sudden squelch of flesh and blood had echoed in the room and Tao cried out, making the whole room shake and stir. Opening my eyes again, I saw black tendrils shoot out of the blades cuts and start to fly about all over the room. I crouched and held my arms above my head as their screams loudly filled the air.
I stared at Taos lifeless body as more and more tendrils flew out. I slowly placed my hand onto his shoulder and stared into his pale green, soulless eyes.
“Tao…. You are now free of the darkness… I wish you a safe journey and may you protect Lai once again.”
I closed my eyes and lowered my head to silently pray for him as I held my sword in both hands. The walls began to crumble down and light began to fill the room, blinding me.
“Fin… Wake up…” I looked around to find the owner of the voice but before I could move, a scream echoed.
“WAKE UP!!!”


Chapter 25.

I quickly opened my eyes and jolted upward in a sitting position. I was breathing heavily as I looked around and had seen the huge door again.
Was it… all a dream?
I slowly got up and held my head in confusion and relief.
Did Tao really… die?
I ran towards the great door and looked up towards it. It began to creak open and sunlight began to peek out. I pushed it to open it more, using all of my strength. When it finally moved, I watched as the warm orange sun had begun to set behind the purple clouds.
Somehow… I was back in my village. But it looked younger. The trees were still only small sprouts; the young women looked very familiar as they walked past me.
“Hello?” I waited for a response but they walked past me without reply. I turned to watch them and saw that they were smiling to little children that were playing with small wooden swords.
I looked towards the river and had seen that it was still a crystal clean blue as it flowed towards the mountains. The houses were much recently built too. Freshly carved wood and wheat were the golden yellow, ready to harvest.
I walked towards the children and watched as they pretended to fight each other with the toy blades. They were all laughing as they formed a ring around two figures. Looking over them, I saw a small child, smaller than the rest start to hit a man that looked around adulthood with a tiny, brown wooden sword.
The little child wore a dark blue shirt and tannish shorts that sat just above his little knees. Small, blonde strands of his hair blew about in the wind as he puffed up his chest and ran towards the elder. I watched him as he kept hitting the man’s wood sword with all of his might but the adult was just standing there laughing.
“Face it boy. You are too small to beat me.”
Suddenly, the poor boy had fallen over as the man pushed him backwards. I was about to run in there but it was like there was a barrier blocking me from going near. I just watched as he started tearing up while clenching the blade ever so tightly in his delicate hands. He had then jumped up as he saw the man walk away and pointed to him bravely.
“Just you wait, old man… I will beat you one day! People… People will accept me for who I am! You’ll see! I… I will be a hero!”
The child had yelled out in-between sniffs. The determination could be seen clearly in his light blue eyes as he stared at the man in anger.  The elder stopped in his tracks and turned to look at him with caring gleams. He had then knelt towards the boy and placed both of his hands on his shoulders.
“You know what… With a heart like that, I am sure you can be someday.”
The child looked up at him with innocent, wet eyes and had then hugged the man. The elder hugged him back with an arm around his back and a hand carefully holding the boys head.
“My dear Fin…”
It is not finished yet but I would love some feedback of it so far. Please.. I am really in dire need for opinions. :icondeepworshipplz:
ALL OF THIS STORY BELONGS TO ME! IF YOU DARE STEAL, I WILL REPORT! And Master Sword your bloody ass~ :iconlinkstareplz:

MEGA UPDATE!
With the thanks of :iconshadowbladetsuyo:, I was able to improve on my writing a bit. THANK YOU SO MUCH!~ :heart:

Edit!:
Alrighty! Whew. This story is awesome! *ahem ahem* I has a question. Should I give you soundtracks to certain parts of the story? Please comment your opinion.
Here is your first example. For chapter 25. --> www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZGNGn…
Into the Darkness --> www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYvJWx…

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I met Ed when I joined the Marines for the first time.  Her name is Jessica Edwin, but in the Marines she was Corporal Edwin, or Ed.  It stuck.  She was tough and pretty, smart, driven, and two years older than me.  I was nineteen and foolish.  Somehow it worked.


We got married when we found out she was pregnant.  My parents were very nasty about it.  They felt I'd somehow taken advantage of her.  Good as raped her.  Her parents were wonderful.  They hosted the wedding, Ed and I wore our dress blues, and took an oath that meant even more than the one we swore to our nation.


Tiger was born just a few months after that.  Ed's four year contract was finished, so she found us a little house near the base.  She found a job, and she raised Tiger, almost by herself, while I ran PT, stood firewatch, crawled the obstacle courses, fired my rifle, shipped out on West Pac, and came home.  I wrote to her and Tiger every day while I was gone.  She was true to me.  I was worried about that, even though I never told her.  I wanted to trust her, but I had to worry.  She's a beautiful woman.


Soon as my contract was up, I found a job; nothing great, but it helped.  And we moved out to be closer to Ed's family.  My parents still couldn't get their heads around the idea that I'd got a girl pregnant when I was just nineteen, and that it wasn't to do with drugs, and that I was doing right by her, taking care of her.  Really, she was taking care of me.  And Tiger.


Tiger was already three by the time I left the Marines.  Summer birthday, just missed the fourth of July.  He was four when his baby sister was born.  We named her Natalie.


And for about a year that was my world.  And I've never been happier.


Then... everything changed.  Terrorists attacked our nation.  The nation we loved and had sworn to defend.  I was horrified, and outraged, but Ed took it to a whole new level.  She told us she was going back to the Marines.  She wanted to fight back; she knew we would retaliate, we couldn't afford not to.  She wanted to be in that first wave.


It scared me to death.  I knew I couldn't support the kids with the job I had.  Natalie was just a baby, just eighteen months old.  Tiger was coming into his own and testing all the limits.  He had another six months or so before we could send him to kindergarten.  I couldn't take care of them, and work to support us.  I told Ed so.  I was only covering up the real reasons.  I didn't want to lose her.


She just smiled at me.  "Rome, honey, I'll be fine.  And you can handle it."


I couldn't talk her down, I wouldn't tell her she couldn't go.  It's her right.  And her duty.  I felt it too; just not as strong as the duty to my family.


The day she shipped out, we spent most of it wrapped up in each other's arms.  I did not want to let her go.  I think Tiger was embarassed.


I told her, "This is all backwards, Ed.  I'm s'posed to go away to war, while you cry over me at home with the kids."


She laughed.  "Roman, if you cry today, I will kick your ass."


"Yes ma'am."


She wrote to us every day.  I found a better job.  We moved again.  Our new neighbor – sweet lady, retired teacher – watched the kids for me while I was at work.  I had nightmares about Ed dying over there.  I scared myself awake and cried myself back to sleep.


When it happened for real... I just shut down.  It's maybe stupid, sentimental, but I knew.  I had a dream about Ed; she was sitting beside me on the bed, singing softly.  For most of the night, she sat there and sang to me.  And then just before morning she leaned over and kissed me.  "I have to go.  Stay strong for me, Marine."


I slept better that morning than I had in months.  When I woke up, I just knew, in my heart, she was gone.  I just felt empty.


I tried to give Tiger and Natalie one more normal Saturday.  We watched cartoons.  Then Tiger 'helped' me clean up the yard.  We planted daffodils for next spring.  We mulched Ed's lilac.  Then we all played in the yard until dark.


The contact team arrived just after supper.  With two uniformed Marines standing in our living room, I hugged my kids and told them as carefully as I could that Mom wasn't coming home.  I didn't cry.  I wanted to, but it wouldn't come.  I called Ed's mom.


"Hi, Roman," that sweet midwest accent, and that tone, like she was always glad to hear from me.


"Mom..." she is my Mom, since my parents basically wrote me off.  "Ed's gone."


"Honey?"


"She's dead."  I came so close to crying, right there.  My throat ached, my chest got tight.


"No..."  She went quiet for a long time.  I could picture her struggling with it.  Finally she came back; "How are you handling it, Rome?"  That woman is a saint, worrying about me, when her little girl was dead.


I couldn't speak.  Just saying it out loud felt like somebody stabbed me.  I forgot to breathe.


"Roman?"


"What do I do?"  It was just a whisper.


Very quietly, very firmly she told me; "You hug your babies like you'll never let go.  And you hunker down 'til I get there."


"Yes ma'am."


Tiger and Nat and me huddled up on the couch.  I asked the Marines of the contact team to stay with us, at least until Mom got there.  I don't think the kids understood it yet.  But they knew I was broken up and scared and they stayed, cuddled up with me.  Nat fell asleep on my chest.  Then I fell asleep under her.


Six hours later, Tiger was shaking me awake, and the contact team was welcoming Ed's mom into the house, carrying the suitcase inside for her.  I laid Nat down in her crib so she could finish her sleep.


Mom caught me in the hallway outside the kitchen and hugged me so tight I thought she'd crack my ribs.  It wasn't tight enough.  I came real close again right there.  My eyes stung.  I hugged her back.


She kissed my face.  "It will be all right, Rome."


I just nodded.  I couldn't speak.


"Dad will be here tomorrow," she told me.  "Let's make some coffee."


It gave me something to do, keep my hands busy.  I made coffee, she finally put Tiger to bed, hours past when he should have been asleep.  I poured coffee for her, and myself, and the Marines.  At some point we all sat down together, and Mom asked the question I couldn't.


"How did she die?"


They didn't have details, but they understood it had been an RPG, fired on Ed's vehicle convoy.  I shut my eyes, unable to get past the image of her beautiful, sleek body, her sweet face, all mangled and bloody in the dirt.  I felt sick, and enraged.  I went outside to be alone.


In the morning I left the kids with Ed's mom and drove into town by myself.  First stop I made was at the barber, got myself a proper high-and-tight.  Somehow it was comforting.  I went into the pharmacy and bought a lilac scented soap, her favorite.  I went to the grocery and paced the aisles for too long.  I bought bread, peanut butter, milk, eggs, carrot sticks, orange juice, toilet paper, cereal, oatmeal, bananas, pears, broccoli, celery, cheese, hotdogs, bologna, pickles and mustard.  I got my heart set on watermelon, but it was out of season.  I bought a six-pack of Sprite; a six-pack of beer.  I drove myself home, very slowly.


I washed my hands with the soap, and the lilac smell was comforting.  I hugged Ed's dad; he had arrived while I was out.  And I found myself apologizing to him.  He looked hurt.  "It's not your fault, Rome."


We sat outside and drank a beer each, while we warmed up the grill for hotdogs.  The contact team was still there.  I liked having them around.  They made me feel secure.  I think even then I was thinking about going back to the Marines.




________________________________________________

The funeral was so hard.  I didn't have that sleek dark uniform to draw strength from anymore.  I felt fragile and empty.  I finally cried a little; but it just scared the kids.


It was difficult for me to adjust.  Ed's letters kept arriving in the mail for days after the funeral.  It was like touching a ghost.  But after they stopped, it was worse.


I took as much time from work as I could.  I stayed at home with the kids.  I drove Tiger to school, and picked him up, played sports with him after school, took him to movies.  I played with Natalie, and prepped her meals, changed diapers, gave her her naps, nursed her through a fever.  I read her stories, and taught her new words.


My babies.  I felt so torn.  I wanted to be there with them, always, but I also wanted to fight!  I wanted to go over there and take some back for Ed!  I wanted to finish what she started.


I talked with Ed's parents, told them what I was feeling.  "I want to go back to the Marines.  I need to finish this.  For Ed."


Dad was dead against it.  "You can't do that to your kids, Roman.  They've already lost their mother."


"I know..."  It was like a killing pain in my chest.  I hated the thought of leaving them at all.  And leaving them to go risk my life; to go and die in the desert half-way around the world... that was even worse.  But I couldn't shut it down.  I still had that need.


Mom was more open.  "You're a fighter, Roman, always have been.  You're a protector.  I understand why you feel you need to do this."


I felt like she'd articulated something I'd been feeling for months, but couldn't put into words.  I wanted so passionately to fight back because I felt that if I'd been there I could have protected Ed.  It was stupid, but it was extremely powerful, and I couldn't shake it.


"Mom..." even if she wasn't mine, I'd call her that.  "I feel really strongly that if I do this... I won't come back."  My voice was deathly soft.  It scared me badly.  "But I feel like I have to do this."


The sadness in her eyes; it broke my heart!  But she just hugged me.  "I can't stop you, Roman.  It's your right.  It's your life."


"If I go... it's not like I'm abandoning my kids..."


"Hush.  I know that, honey."


"I don't want them to hate me."


"Roman!  Don't talk like that."  But she didn't know what nasty things Tiger was saying about his mother lately.  That she left us on purpose, that she hated him and Nat.  That killed me.


So before I went too far, I tried to explain it to Tiger.  He immediately resisted the idea.  As soon as I told him he pulled away from me.  "You're gonna leave us too?"


"Tiger, it's not like that."


"Why do you have to go?!  Why can't you stay here with us?!"


"I want to, but if we don't fight, the terrorists could attack us again.  They could hurt more innocent people."


That made him quiet for a minute.  "Is that why Mom left?  To fight the terrorists?"


"Yes."  It shocked me that I could have neglected something so important.  Didn't we ever explain to him why his mother was going to war?


"But she didn't win."


"No.  Sometimes... sometimes the bad guys win."  Seven years worth of Saturday-morning-cartoon feel-good logic out the window.  Sometimes people really do get hurt.  Sometimes the enemy wins.  Sometimes mothers – and fathers – don't come home.


He stares at me, very serious, maybe a little afraid, but not as horrified and hateful as I'd braced myself for.  "Who's gonna take care of us?"


"Gram and Grampa, and maybe Mrs. Silver.  Would you like that?"


"Maybe.  I think so."  So cautious.  "What if you don't come back?"


What if I don't come back?  What if I die over there?  Those questions haunted me for weeks.  I felt very powerfully that I was going to my death.  "Tiger.  If I don't come back... that means I'm with Mom."


"Mom hates us."


Tears burned my eyes.  "Don't ever say that."  I hugged him tight, and after a minute he relaxed and hugged me back.  "Your mother loves you so much.  If there was any way she could come back to us she would.  But they took her away from us."


"And you have to go and hurt them, because they took her."


"Yes."  Maybe it was that stupid and simple.  I wanted payback on those sick bastards.

________________________________________________

Tiger is seven.  Natalie is three.  I'm twenty-seven, and foolish.  Today I ship out to war.  I hug my babies like I'll never let go.  But I don't cry.


I can hear Ed laughing.  "Roman.  If you cry today, I'll kick your ass."


"Go, tell the Romans that it is the will of heaven that my Rome should be the head of all the world. Let them henceforth cultivate the arts of war, and let them know assuredly, and hand down the knowledge to posterity, that no human might can withstand the arms of Rome."
from History of Rome (Ab Urbe Condita) by Livy - Book 1 Chapter 16

based on a dream I had this morning...
all persons and specific events are fictional

Any feedback, reactions, questions and/or crit is much appreciated!

Part II: TheBattleForRome...
Part III: TheFallOfRome...
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I must try to let go
all interpretation meant to lead me
to the answers of my homecoming,

to discover there is only one answer,
having no original question

casting off the apparatus
of these collective thoughts,

the intermezzo of my life-

I rail between ophidian impulse
and hominal dilemma,

the octave of my corporeity-
between diligence and sloth,

becoming overwhelmed
as decisions turn to obsidian-

or to be met at the juncture
in a state of vacuous grace,

unburdened.
From the passage into what's next from this husk to the unknown - what do we really need of what we think we know...

:bulletorange: 8/6/12: Featured here [link]

:bulletblue: 4/20/11: Entered in #Masters-of-Poetry's "abstraction contest" [link]
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I was on Sharezone (chat.deviantart.com/chat/Share…, a chat channel hosted by dA, when the new logo was rolled out on December 4, 2014. I am ambivalent about the logo. It performs its function, and I am not a graphic designer, so I don't have much of an opinion about it.

However, in addition to being an artist, I have writing experience. The logo was rolled out with an article titled on the link tab as "Our Story" but titled at the top of the article* as "Boldly Facing The Future". Because of my experiences writing articles on Wikipedia, I am frequently preoccupied with vagaries and misuse of language.

Spurred by a spirited discussion on Sharezone about the logo and the associated article, and encouraged by other deviants in the conversation (JenFruzz, SnazzyDoodle, calebvoorhees, and Mercy4You2Live0), I assessed the "Our Story" article on its effectiveness as a piece of expository writing. In Sharezone, I stated my opinion that the writing is over the top, unintentionally hilarious, and conveys an insignificant amount of information to warrant six pages of text. I was pressed by other members of Sharezone to explain my stance, and this is the result. As a piece of expository writing, this article fails. It is obviously an exercise in advertising copy, marked by forced enthusiasm that seems to go with rebrandings full of public relations vernacular commonly used by startups and tech companies. Even at that however, this article/advertising copy is bloated with meaningless statements that convey very little to dA's members, many of whom pay for premium memberships as I do. 

In the end, it seems this article conveys two pieces of information that are important to members: dA has a new logo, and other changes are coming soon. I know there could have been any number of ways to express these two pieces of information, inform members of dA's past accomplishments while indicating what may lie ahead, AND still showcase the art and impressive design of the journal without the hyper-enthusiastic advertising copy. 


*A dA staff member named Pickley was present for the discussion and called "Our Story" an article repeatedly. I was, at first, confused by this descriptor because I saw "Our Story" as advertising copy, not an article.

Note: I intended to load this as a journal. However, it seemed impossible to do so (new design interface?) with this pdf, so here it is as a deviation.
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A collaboration by happy accident: John `RetroZombie took the photo of the cherry tree he originally planted himself, now in full spring bloom. I was inspired to write a tanka for it - and voila! <3

cherry blossoms—
so fleeting,
more delicate for their
brief existence...
waiting without the grief


Here is John's posting (give it some love): [link]
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For the original photo by *mcdermid, I wrote a tanka which he added and thus became our first collaboration. Al has some lovely photos in his gallery which are sure to inspire me again!

:bulletgreen:1.29.10: A change to the look of the tanka by the gracious skill of `RetroZombie - thank you, John! (and the resizing is perfect for my smaller monitor, too)

the text of this piece:

at riverís edge,
only fish may hide in
its flaming beard,
but birds think nothing of
perching near . . . waiting



(please let us know your thoughts - thanks so much)

:bulletblue: This collaboration can also be found at :iconbluemoonbird:
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Name(s):
Alfonso the Alpaca,
Bo the Blue Alpaca

Reason for name change:
During his first week of service in the newest restaurant (FNaF Pizzeria) Alfonso wasn’t doing too good many parents felt uneasy around the animatronic waiter, didn’t like the way he spoke to them/their children, felt it inappropriate (use of the words babe, doll, little lady seemed outdated). Alfonso lost his balance during a party, fell backward and had to be reset & reprogrammed to improve his "sense of" balance when using his wheels, to prevent adults from feeling uneasy around him (and complaining) they ended up reprogramming a new name, returning him to his original Fredbear’s programmed personality. He was re-dubbed as Bo (after the first digits of his serial number/code BO). It was supposed to be temporary but they didn't bother to change him back due to having bigger problems i.e. money, dead security guards.

He will still respond to Alfonso, Alfie if addressed as such.

Nickname(s):
He's often been dubbed by patrons/staff:
Alfie,
Al (rarely responds to this),
Bo (the mechanics used to call him by his serial number),
The/That Blue One,
Big guy,
Bluey.

Species modeled after:
Alpaca (Vicugna pacos- pointless scientific name is pointless).

Duration of service (age):  
Ran in service from the original Fredbear’s restaurant until the Current Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria. He was the last of the 4 main robots created. He was first activated on August 1st.

From here down I will address FNaF Alfonso as Bo to prevent confusion between the three Alfonso's.

Height:
Fredbear’s & Toy Alfonso stood at 6’5ft.

Bo stands at 7ft tall (his head reaches the tip of Bonnie’s ears) making him the tallest animatronic at the restaurant.  

Fur colour:
Fredbear’s & Bo are Dark blue in colour with lighter blue wool.

Toy Alfonso was purple in colour with lilac wool.

Eye colour:
All models of Alfonso share brown eye colour

Reason for decommission (FNaF):
Bo’s hooves were not designed to support carrying rounded items like cups on their own (On a tray yes, because of the flat surface). Bo was shouted over by a customer and handed a cup of coffee to be taken back to the kitchen, he complied to the order before a human staff member could stop him. He dropped the still hot cup onto the customer.

That was his first warning. He was removed from service after a second incident by which he dropped an oven fresh pizza onto another customer. This however was due to Bo’s motor systems glitching out and causing his limbs to jolt and the pizza to be flung off the tray into the lap of a patron. As menial as it seems the customer kicked up a fuss and threatened to sue the failing restaurant, seeing an easy way out they stored Bo in the back of the kitchen storage where he always was and forgot about him.  

Function in the Pizzeria:
Fredbear’s Alfonso was a walking waiter he was able to serve children and adults, he would not take orders however just place the food down on the table.

Toy Alfonso & Bo are strictly children’s waiters they would "take" children’s orders (a Human staff memeber would actually do the taking) and fetch their food to the table. They were mostly used for large children’s parties and when the restaurant was busy.

Level of intelligence (measured against a person):
All three models possess intellect that would be considered just below average when compared to a person.

Programmed "Gender":
All three are programmed to respond to male pronouns when addressed, being spoken about by others (i.e. "Have you see Alfonso around? he should be doing his job serving customers, let's call him out children").

Programmed personality:
Bo has gone through two personalities his original one was quiet, soft spoken, naive, curious, easily entertained, calm and complacent (This is the personality that has carried over into Bo all the way from Fredbear’s).

However when they updated an rebranded the restaurant with the Toy robots they opted to replace the personality with a more forward, cheeky, savvy personality because Alfonso was too quiet, “shy” didn’t relate to children as well.

They based him off the 70’s-80’s bad boy archetype (always carries a comb, kicks a jukebox and it plays music) so they made him brash, forward, flashy, savvy, gave him an attitude and he would often seem to be rather flirty (this was the trait that concerned parents the most hence swapping him back to his original programming).

Personal audio:
“Service with a smile” (originally Toy Alfonso would say “service with style”), “Orders up”, “what can I get for you *child’s name here*”, “here to help”, “here to serve”. His audio files have not changed much over the years. However Toy Alfonso had more interactive dialog with the other Toy animatronics.

Fredbear Family diner model's design:
The original design of Alfonso was rather clunky in shape, sharing the same blocky body as Freddy, Bonnie. The clunky body he was given gave him a very distinctive heavy footed walk as he moved around. He was programmed to move at a steady pace, process a route around the restaurant as he moved to prevent him from dropping anything or bumping into people. His only item of clothing as such was a generic apron that reached Alfonso’s knees, a small green ribbon around his neck.  

He was more accurate in terms of his design resembling an alpaca compared to his future counterparts possessing smaller ears, a smaller shorter muzzle, facial markings, “whisker” freckles, hoof like hands with 3 digits.  

The broken version of him seen in FNaF2 has one working eye, the other has been shattered no longer works rendering him half blind, missing suit covering his left hand and shoulder, a large gash on his chest revealing his inner workings, right forearm, left leg. His right leg seems to be no longer functioning from the knee down making his walk have a very distinctive dragging sound.

Toy Design:
To go with the kid friendly design that was planned Alfonso gained not only a new body but a new personality to make him appeal more and be able to be memorable next to the others he was given an 80’s Brooklyn bad boy persona.

They chose to keep the same body shape as his Fredbear’s model. His processing was updated, the provided him with a gyroscopic core to prevent him from falling over. He had a bit of a shaky start but became popular.
He was made purple due to Bonnie’s new toy model becoming the blue one. He kept the facial markings, the “whisker” freckles, the ribbon and the hoof like hands however he was updated to have a longer muzzle, longer ears, longer hooves, added more wool around his neck to make him look cuddlier. His new apron was orange and featured little shapes resembling the main three other animatronics.  

Freddy Fazbear Pizzeria's design:
Bo had the most drastic design change, they scrapped his Fredbear’s model in favour of making him taller and lankier to balance out his body weight further. Keeping most the design and Ai features from his Toy model they went back to his Fredbear’s design in terms of colour scheme, but used the shape of his Toy model, broad shoulders, broad chest, sturdy legs.
Due to the bite of 87’ where the characters were no longer allowed to have free speech modes or free roam, he was only allowed to roam the restaurant at special request from a customer and when supervised by a staff member. He was no longer allowed full free roaming and had pre-set routes to each table programmed into his system even still he had to have a staff member on watch at all time for fear of another bite incident.

Unique skeletal features/Ai features:
• Advanced gyroscopic core (Toy, Bo)- To prevent them from losing balance while skating or carrying trays.
• Obstacle avoidance programming (all three)- Programmed to avoid obstacles as he manoeuvres around the restaurant and to find an alternate route if the path is blocked.
• Advanced audio reception (all three)- Programmed to have better “hearing” to allow him to hear each individual child as they speak to him over the noise of the restaurant, other Ai and arcade.
• Programmed to respond to height differences (Toy, Bo)- Will instinctively kneel or bend down to make himself at eye level with the child he is interacting with, this was programmed in due to his height making him appear intimidating.
• Unique hand structure (all three)- Hands are not very articulated since he does not need to move them as much and merely serve as flat surfaces to allow him to carry trays upon them.
• Unique foot structure (Toy, Bo)- Originally built as a walking waiter robot which gave him heavy footing and made him rather off balance. The manager provided Alfonso with a central wheel in his feet for stability, balance, to soften his walk a bit so it didn't sound like an elephant was passing through.
• Programmed protective attitude (all three)- like the other four robot programmed to both protect and serve the children at the restaurant.
• Weight distribution (Toy, Bo)- because of the skating and the gyroscopic core he is now very bottom heavy, compared to the other robots. to evenly distribute the weight in his body more evenly the upper half of his body is considerably lighter than his lower.
• Seeking behaviour (all three)- if the audio sensors can detect a child in distress or detect a child they will actively approach the child or seek out the child.

Quirks:
Mouth will occasionally hang open revealing a set of blunt teeth, his arms hang loosely by his sides when he isn’t carrying anything, his head will sometimes tilt to the side, one of his ears will occasionally flop over or down, his eyes will seemingly appear half lidded. Sometimes seen carrying a dishcloth.

Passive/Aggressive:  
FNaF:
Bo is passive until he notices you are observing him
FNaF2:
Broken Alfonso is aggressive especially during the later nights.
Toy Alfonso is passive until notices you are observing him.

Hours most active:
FNaF:
Bo is active from 3am until 6am.
FNaF2:
Broken Alfonso & Toy Alfonso are active from 3am until 6am (this increases to 1am-6am as the week goes on).

Nights most active: (Presence on the custom night is varied depending on Ai level)
FNaF:
Bo is active from night 2 to 6
FNaF2:
Broken Alfonso is active from night 2 to 6.
Toy Alfonso is active from night 1 but becomes less active as the week progresses.

Starting location:
FNaF:
Bo starts from the Kitchen (Kitchen storage) but is not visible until he has left.
FNaF2:
Broken Alfonso starts from the parts and service room, similar to Foxy he is not visible until he leaves.
Toy Alfonso starts from Party room 4 (stood beside the paper doll of BB).

Programmed route of the restaurant:
FNaF:
Bo’s route of the restaurant is as follows, kitchen- restrooms- dining hall- pirate cove (on a loop). He will only descend on the corridors when he has been triggered.

FNaF2:
Broken Alfonso’s route of the restaurant, Parts & service- main hall- games room before doubling back to the corridor that leads to the office where he proceeds his attack pattern. He will occasionally “grow bored” and go into the party rooms. Never approaches the vents.

Toy Alfonso’s route is party room 4-party room 3- party room 2- party room 1-Left air vent (if he was triggered to come looking for you). He will also approach the games room and main hall (seemingly looking in the parts and service room).  

Mechanics:
FNaF:
Bo is just doing his job, he's looking for anybody that needs his assistance, he will leave the kitchen after the sound of a service bell. He will move between the rooms back and forth and seem to be paying you no attention, but if you keep staring at him he will notice and turn to face the camera giving you a few seconds to look at him before he will come headlong at the security room surprisingly he's not as fast as Foxy giving you enough time to slam the door on him.
Unlike Foxy who will bang on the door and steal some power Bo will simply crash into the door as his sensors do not detect it being closed and he will temporarily disable the door for about 3-7 seconds. Bo will come at both sides of the office depending on where he was when his charge was triggered. If Freddy and Bo are in the same room Bo will proceed to stare in the direction that Freddy is hiding, this can be useful and indicate to the player that Freddy is on the move.

FNaF2:
Broken Alfonso shares his basic in game mechanics with Foxy, however unlike Foxy he is fooled by the mask. Alfonso will begin his approach standing glaring at the camera in Parts & services before moving to the main hall where he glares at the camera once again.

He will then begin his attack pattern standing at the end of the corridor from the office. Flashing the flashlight at him will draw him closer unlike Foxy who is repelled by the light. He will approach until he is stood at the door (his eye, the bottom half of his body will be visible in the light from the office),it takes 4-5 flashes of the torch to get him close and you must put the mask on or he will rush forward and get you. He will reset after failing to attack.

Broken Alfonso will not perform his behaviour if Foxy or Bonnie is in the corridor (due to the heavy reliance on the torch to get rid of them) or Alfonso is in the Vent. He will approach much quicker if Mangle is in the office. He will sometimes seemingly “get bored” and go poke around in the party rooms until he picks up on being watched or has the flashlight flashed at him (turning to face the camera) then he will return to the corridor.

Toy Alfonso shares similar mechanics with Bo in FNaF, he will not actively seek the player out unless he has picked up on the fact he is being watched (He will turn to face the camera or approach the camera before making his approach on the player). He traverses the party rooms in reverse numerical order if he picks up on being watched (or the flashlight was flickered at him) he will head toward the left air vent and crawl through, his left eye seemingly becoming black with a white pupil. He will sit in the opening of the vent similar to Toy Bonnie and stare at the player, if you do not put on the mask quick enough he will attack. However putting the mask on will result in a similar “stalking” animation to Toy Bonnie he will slowly approach the player from the front the lights will flicker then he will leave.    

Audio cues:
FNaF:
Bo’s audio cues the sound of a service bell, this is the command that brings Bo out of the kitchen. Approaching soft footsteps mean he is coming to the office (similar to Foxy). A firm slam against the door if you closed it on him means he has crashed into it. The sound of shuffling movement from behind the player means he’s in the office with you. Bo makes the same screech as the other robots when he attacks.

FNaF2:
Broken Alfonso’s audio cues are a set of distinctive heavy dragging footsteps mean he is on the move in a room. Broken Alfonso shares the same sound effect with Foxy when he is in the corridor, he shares the same scream as everyone else. Other than that he has no other specific audio cues.

Toy Alfonso’s main audio cue is the sound of roller skate wheels which indicate he is on the move between or in rooms, the volume of the wheels will vary depending on the distance from the office he is. He shares the same sound effect as the rest of the other animatronics that enter the vents and shares the same scream.

Attack screen:
FNaF:
Bo and Bonnie share similar attack screens, Bo will hesitate a few seconds before knocking the tablet from the player’s hands, leaning into the player’s face and clamping his hands on their shoulders/sides of their head.

FNaF2:
Broken Alfonso will rush forward from the doorway of the office and force the tablet from the player’s hand accompanied by the signature scream.

Toy Alfonso will hesitate before popping up from the left of the player, knock the tablet from their hands if it was up and appear to be reaching toward their head/shoulders. He will hesitate lulling the player into a false sense of security. Again using the signature scream.

“Interaction” with the other Animatronics:
FNaF:
Apart from Bo watching Freddy. He does not directly interact with the other animatronics. His actions however are there to aid them in getting to the player.

FNaF2:
Broken Alfonso has no interaction with the other animatronics. Unless you count him speeding up when Mangle has entered the office.

Toy Alfonso seems to double team with Toy Bonnie, will move much faster if BB is on the move or Mangle is in the office.

FNaF 4th/5th Night glitching:
Similar to Bonnie and Chica Bo will experience a form of glitching on the later nights. Bo will stand in front of the camera in the dining room and not move, his head with twitch sporadically and sounds similar to that of the night 4 distorted phone call can be heard as if Bo is arguing with himself.

Alfonso’s eyes:
All three of the models actually cannot see very well in the darkness of the restaurant, they does not possess as strong a night vision as Foxy or Freddy’s band do due to being assigned to work in well-lit areas of the restaurant. They can only just make out the light on the camera, the light from the office. They rely on hearing more than anything (the sounds of the camera).  

FNaF Bo’s speed:
Bo has always been slower than Foxy due to his high processing level as he travels around the busy rooms during the day avoiding people, bags and coats on the floor, spills, and chairs. He processes routes around the obstacles to avoid collisions. Even though the building is empty at night he still has to process a route around the rooms.

FNaF Bo's build:
Unlike Bonnie, Chica & Freddy Bo was created with a taller lankier frame, similar to Foxy this was to allow him more freedom of movement & the ability to move at speeds without being too clunky if he had to. To get into the office Bo has to stoop a little to get through the door (hence the shuffling noise when he manages to get in), he also has to stoop to look through the window at the player.

Levels of Ai:
FNaF:
• Night 1- Rarely active
• Night 2- Starting at 3am Bo may come out from the kitchen after the bell, he is very unlikely to notice the camera on him.
• Night 3- Again from 3am the bell will ring & he will come out, has a slightly higher chance to notice the camera watching him.
• Night 4- Bo will come out at 3am after the bell, he will hang around pirate’s cove more often, act as the spotter for Freddy’s presence, if Freddy is in the same room as him Bo will not pay attention to you, if Foxy is out of his curtain Bo will not enter pirate cove.
• Night 5- Bo will leave the kitchen of his own accord, high chance of him spotting the camera, he will continue to watch out for Freddy, hang around pirate cove.
• Night 6- Bo will leave the kitchen of his own accord, continue to hang around pirate cove, he will not look in Freddy’s direction but at the camera instead giving you a few seconds to look away, He will be trying to break both doors on you to allow Freddy or Foxy to get you
• Custom night- 0-2 (easy) Bo will never  activate, 3-6 (medium) Bo will assume his night 3 regime, 7-12 (hard) Bo will assume his night 5 routine, 13-20(extreme) Bo will assume his night 6 regime.

FNaF2:
Broken Alfonso
•Night 1- Inactive in the parts and service room.
•Night 2- will potentially leave the parts and service room at 4am and begin his regime.
•Night 3- Leaves parts and service room at around 3am, speeds up regime.
•Night 4- Leaves parts and service at 3am, gets faster at approaching, tends to follow Foxy (Foxy is reset, Bo takes over the corridor, Bo is reset, Foxy takes the corridor), time given to allow the mask being put on is lessened.
•Night 5- Leaves parts and service at 2am, skips main hall, party rooms altogether, Foxy cycle, the time allowed for the mask is lessened.
•Night 6- Leaves parts and services immediately, skips main hall, party rooms, Foxy cycle, you must immediately put on the mask as soon as his eyes are visible in the doorway.
•Custom nights-  0-2 (easy) will never  activate, 3-6 (medium) will assume his night 3 regime, 7-12 (hard) will assume his night 5 routine, 13-20(extreme)  will assume his night 6 regime.

Toy Alfonso
•Night 1- activates at around 3:30am, has a low chance of spotting the cameras watching him.
•Night 2- activates at 3am, chance of him spotting the cameras increases significantly.
•Night 3- Due to the old robots being out and about he’s less likely to attack however he still activates at 3am and moves around.
•Night 4- Same as night 3, however his chance of attack is more likely to happen.
•Night 5- Activates at 2am, will approach player even if he hasn’t been triggered and stands in front of cameras gazing in blocking out the rest of the room.
•Night 6- Activates at 1am, approaches player immediately, begins to randomise regime of movement (Party room 4-2-3-1, 4-3-2-1 and 4-1), will not go to the back rooms like the main hall, games room, time before he attacks decreases significantly.
•Custom Night- 0-2 (easy) will never  activate, 3-6 (medium) will assume his night 3 regime, 7-12 (hard) will assume his night 5 routine, 13-20(extreme)  will assume his night 6 regime.      

Backstory:
Due to the growing popularity of the restaurant the owner of Fredbear’s family diner decided to splash out and purchase a fifth robot. Based off a design for a sheep that a staff member had doodled onto a napkin, they purchased another endoskeleton had it programmed it to be a waiter and gave it the blue alpaca suit naming it Alfonso. After several trial and error runs he was ready to join the rest of the robots.

Although he wasn’t very popular because he didn’t stand out. Alfonso became more of a background character with children being more interested in the Rabbit with a guitar, the Pirate Fox.
When the restaurant went bust the new owners re branded the place as Freddy Fazbear’s pizzeria, the wife of the new owner liked Alfonso’s design so they kept him on alongside the main four. Deciding that the old robots weren’t child friendly enough they put them all through a redesign. Alfonso’s redesign was created in part by the new owner's wife and her daughter.

After the horrible events in that November of 87’ just a few short weeks after opening the restaurant shut down again due to missing presumed dead children, a bitten now vegetable staff member.

The third reopening back in the original restaurant, Alfonso and the others were revamped again using their old bodies as basic templates and adding or removing a few extra features. Alfonso was almost overlooked but the wife of the owner insisted they keep him, do him up so he could serve again.

He served for a week before falling, which was then they reactivated his original quiet personality, spent more money on improving his stability. He ran in service until a customer threatened to sue after the animatronic dropped pizza onto his lap where he now remains within the back of the kitchen storage. Only venturing out after midnight due to his night mode kicking in.        

Lore:
-There were some rumours Bo was inhabited by one of the dead children, a little girl named Susie Alfonso was her favourite.
-There was a rumour amongst the staff that mentioning Susie would cause Alfonso to reactivate, make Bo short circuit. Nobody dared try it for fear of breaking the robot and getting the sack.
-The mysterious influence that the puppet seems to have over the Toy animatronics also affects Toy Alfonso, when in the vent or occasionally on the party room cameras Alfonso’s left eye will be black with only a white pupil. His eyes will return to normal when he attacks.
-Bo could sometimes be heard quietly arguing or talking to nobody from the back of the kitchen storage, any staff that entered found the robot seemingly in sleep mode. Two distinct voices could be heard.
-Even after the bite of 87’ Alfonso would still seemingly sometimes proceed to stare at the adults or the staff members, not respond to commands.
-Bo is seemingly very protective over children, often seemed to herd children around or follow them very closely as they ventured around.
-It was rumoured that an armed robber broke into through the kitchen one night, Bo was found stood over the man who was hiding in a cabinet in the kitchen. The robot didn’t allow him to leave with the police until 7am, when he turned and returned to his recharging station. The man was delirious and rambled about the animatronics trying to get him.
- There is a rumour amogst the staff that the reason the kitchen camera is out was because Bo would bump into it every time he left the storage area damaging the camera.
-Another rumour about the camera is that the animatronic would stare into the camera for all hours, disturbing many a night guard so the camera feed was shut off.          

Trivia:
-BO stands for Blue one.
-Broken Alfonso’s name on the custom menu in FNaF2 is B.O.
-Many people assumed Alfonso’s model was based on a Llama instead of an Alpaca, hence the longer ears, longer feet, longer muzzle and taller build.
-Bo & Alfonso are often confused by patrons as sheep, llamas, goats & occasionally cows.
-Both Bo and Alfonso are (in terms of design, colour scheme) based upon the Alpacsso plushies that are popular in Japan.
- Bo’s voice would pretty much sound like Jack Pumpkin head from Return to Oz
- Toy Alfonso sounds like your stereotypical Danny from Grease/Cronus Ampora from Homestuck type character. He tends to say “babe”, “sweetie”, “sweetheart”, ”little miss” and “ayyy” a lot.
-A rare occurrence in FNaF similar to triggering Golden Freddy, Bo could be drawn to come look in through the door or window (depending on the side) and if the player stayed still he would leave. Flashing the corridor light when Bo is at the end of the halls (rare) would get his attention and get him to come say “hello”.
-In FNaF2 there would be a custom night called “Alpaca? Llama? Duck?” Which features Old Chica, Broken Alfonso, Toy Alfonso all on 10 AI, the prize would be a small plush of Bo.
-In FNaF2 Toy, Broken Alfonso would not appear on Golden Freddy mode or 20/20/20/20 mode.  
-There are no drawings of Bo anywhere in game.
-Both Fredbear’s and Toy Alfonso would appear in the death mini games.
-and potentially have their own.
-Toy Alfonso would not feature on any of the posters in FNaF2, because he isn’t one of the main 4.
-Toy Alfonso’s personality was not deleted by the staff and remains within Bo’s systems.
-The dead children theory would not apply to the Alfonso line (he has no child possessing him).
-A strategy against Broken Alfonso would be to just to lure him into the office instead of risking a Broken Freddy or Toy Freddy attack, The time given to the player to put the mask on matches that of Broken Bonnie's.

-An Easter egg of sorts (FNaF) would be to set the AI on the custom night to: 00108, this is a reference to Alfonso’s activation date the 1st of August, it will trigger only Bo to be active however he will not be acting or look as expected. The ears will be flopped over, the eyes, half lidded, the wool quiff flopped forward, the mouth hung open in a smile. He will be much more aggressive than usual and behave like Bonnie & Chica. This merely is a showcase of the Alfonso personality.
HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS! 4600+ words coming right at you! Sit tight grab some biscuits we're going in!

If you manage to sit through this mess I applaud you my friend ^^ get yourself a biscuit or something xD
I am that sad... I wrote a bio that goes this in depth.... shows you how much I love my characters doesn't it....
Granted some of this is copy pasted from my old Bio but the majority is updated.

I have plagued DA with Bo (the very first image of him I posted ;) his VERY first image might get posted) for 3 months since I joined the FNaFbase ^^ I enjoy working on him, making new things, drawing him, writing stories for him, RPing with you guys. So I want to say a big massive thank you to you all for all the faves and comments I'm so glad you guys like seeing him just as much as I do xD

:bulletblue: Bo, original Bo's ideal voice www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMfPzW… (I couldn't find any clips from the film of just him sadly)
:bulletblue: Bo's angry? voice I really like it okay www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM0RFE… (they don't talk very often... mainly laugh, make squeaky noises)... tempted to make a Gijinka design for Bo based on these.
:bulletpurple: Alfonso's voice xD www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdpBnG… this guy's voice is nearly perfect, it's his laugh though I have no idea if he is from Brooklyn probably not... I think he's from somewhere in Scandinavia from the fact he mentions Finnish dubs of Digimon, Pokemon

Any questions ask away ^^ anything you think I should add *laughs*

FNaF © Scott Cawthon
Alfonso/Bo © Me

Because you'll ask me Bio template 
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Letting out another growl, Toothless leaped with all his force from where he stood as a great flamethrower struck him at his feet. Dashing in between trees, he realized that trying to stay close to where Hiccup was became useless as the Timberjack kept firing one scorching flamethrower after another, not giving him a single chance to stop for air or counter her attacks with his own lightning ball. Following his movements, several trees were cut down by the intimidating Timberjack wings and smaller rocks crushed beneath her feet as she chased Toothless around in great circles. Not even hiding behind bushes or anything that could serve as a cover stopped her from firing blindly around her, making Toothless worried that if he kept running around, dodging the attacks like this close to where Hiccup was, one of the flamethrowers might end up striking him, intentionally or not. Toothless just wished he would wake up, so that he had least could get away while he averted her attention. But no such luck as he still catched a glimpse of his human lying completely unmoving in the middle of what had become a battleground.

"What's the matter?! Can't you fly?!" the Timberjack growled while in the making of another flamethrower, spitting it out with a flinch of her head, this time making the ground beneath Toothless crack open as the rocks and dirt which was sent flying struck him powerful enough to make him twirl around several times down a hill, before he had to use his claws to stop himself from slipping over an edge, dropping a few meters down to rocky hill that surely would have caused a painful landing. Rapidly getting up on his feet, Toothless barely had shaken the dizziness from the impact off him before another wall of flames was fired towards him. Preparing to dodge again, it was too late. A painful whine emerged from Toothless as the scorching hot fire struck him, sending him flying backwards several meters before he again struck the ground in the most sudden and violent way. Quickly getting up on his feet, Toothless let out a whimper as his right front paw hurt badly, realizing something was broken in there as he couldn't stand properly on it. He had no time to pity himself however, for as soon as he no longer could run, he didn't stand a chance. Another terrible flamethrower struck him before he could even regain full consciousness, again sending him flying backwards, hitting a tree powerful enough to snap it in two. Not only was his right front paw and now back hurting terribly, Toothless had trouble remaining conscious and focusing his mind as not only were the Timberjack's flames incredibly powerful, they were also awfully hot. Only two direct hits had now covered most of his body with burn marks, and the unbearable heat of the flames was what made Toothless dizzy and not far from passing out from the exhaustement both the heat and wounds were causing him. Toothless knew it was a bad sign when he began to see double, knowing he was seconds from fainting. About to give in to the inevitable urge, he found himself roughly awakened by the pain of two sets of fangs closing around his body, lifting him up in the air as he was drawn back to his senses enough to realize that the Timberjack had trapped him within her jaws. Tightening the bite, Toothless whined madly while using his claws to scratch her bottom jaw in an attempt to get lose, but his short claws had no effect on her rock-hard scales. Before the Timberjack bit hard enough to pierce his body with a deadly outcome, she with a swing of her head, threw him out from her mouth, straight towards the rocky hill where the rocks got blood stained from the battered dragon striking them harshly. As in a daze, Toothless, with his body numb from the pain, opened his mouth in an attempt to create a fire ball, though that was something the Timberjack would not allow. Having walked up to where he laid, she with a heavy movement lifted her right foot and placed it on top of Toothless with a heavy stomp, breaking his fire ball making attempt. Slowly lowering her head until it was inches away from Toothless' injured self, rendered completely helpless beneath her claws, she let out a low sneer.

"Look at the brave Night Fury! You are so weak right now that another fire attack of mine would completely shatter you to pieces. Perhaps I should just kill you, considering your pathetic state as of now. However, I still stand by what I said earlier. It is not in my nature to kill that of my own specie. So whatever life you have left, I will leave you with. The human however, is mine." and with this, the Timberjack raised her wings and left the ground with one giant flap, leaving the battered and bleeding Toothless to himself. With a few more flaps, the Timberjack found herself back at the place where the still unmoving human laid, landing heavily in front of him with a loud thud. Feeling the anticipation arise in her body as she knew she was about to get her long awaited revenge, she couldn't help but to let out a roar as a sign of her victory. Taking a large step towards the lifeless human, she was startled by a dark figure suddenly throwing itself in front of her, painstakingly trying to stand up but fell flat on his stomach by his wounded leg giving in beneath him. The Timberjack now couldn't help but to be rendered in shock by the little Night Fury, who even now as he was more dead than alive, still stood his ground for the sake of the human child.

"You...!" she sneered at Toothless who had used what remained of his powers to get where they were from where his battered self had been left. Though he no longer was in much of a protection state, his stubborn nature told him to not give up while he still had some life left. Letting out a whimper, Toothless tried his best to at least get up on his feet, but as soon as he gripped the ground with his front paws, pain shot through his body and made him crouch together out of reflex. Letting out a sad growl, Toothless did the only thing he could think of; locking eyes with the Timberjack again, giving the same unwavering stare as before, not allowing himself to show any trace of fear.

"I won't let you..." he silently whimpered while trying his best to focus his eyes, though it was hard, for the numbing dizziness was taking its toll.

"You really are willing to give your life for that human?" she sneered with a mad voice, lowering her head to hang inches over Toothless again, staring hard at him with her one eye. Toothless, in respond let out another whimper as he lowered his head in a nod, before letting it touch the ground, from where he found himself next to passing out, the world turning blurry around him as the only thing he felt was the warmth of his blood gathering around his battered body.

"So be it then. His life for yours. The loss of you will probably serve as just as much of a painful punishment if he loves you as much as you think he does. And his father will feel the pain too.

...You have proved me your courage, Night Fury."


Toothless only listened in silence as the last sentence she spoke disappeared somewhere in his mind, before he felt the urge to let go of his consciousness take over. Letting himself slip into the darkness closing in around him, one final thought traced his mind before passing out completely;

"... forgive me ...I won't be with you anymore..."


XXX


Shutting his eyes tightly closed as soon as he had opened them from the bright sun rays hitting his eyes, Hiccup groaned as he slowly lifted himself up to rest his body on one arm while rubbing his face with the other. Being in a daze, he wasn't sure where exactly he was or what had happened, though when he suddenly remembered, his eyes widened while leaping up on his feet, franticly looking around him while unconscious tears were forming in his eyes from the shock of his realization and instant fright by the thought of where his best friend was.

"Toothless?!" he shouted while desperately looking around him, but suddenly felt himself hunching over by a trace of pain still being left in his stomach from the harsh headbutt he had received earlier. About to touch at where it hurt, Hiccup froze as he spotted a familiar dark figure on the ground, about 30 meters ahead of him. He had no time to rejoice inside however, for the first thing he noticed was a dark and red liquid covering the dragon's body and the ground around him. Panic stroke him by the realization of it being blood, and as quickly as his one flesh and one metal leg could carry him, he made his way over to the unmoving body. Cursing under his breath at how the useless leg was slowing him down like this, he let himself fall on his knees when having reached Toothless, at first not daring to touch him as he examined with horror the terrible wounds and burn marks covering the most of his body, not to mention the marks after huge fangs that indicated something great had bitten him. Fresh blood was still streaming from the open wounds, and was now soaking Hiccup's pants and one boot as he was sitting next to his body, tears he no longer could hold back streaming from his eyes. As much as hadn't dared to touch him, he now threw his arms around Toothless' neck and clenched with all his might, sobbing and rubbing his face into the bloody scales, ignoring his face being slightly ripped from it.

"Oh no, Toothless! I'm so sorry! I'll never go out on my own again! Just please… please be okay! Please be okay!" he sobbed franticly while tightening his hold. The minutes slowly passed by as the pair were both left in their unmoving positions, Hiccup's sniffing being the only sound present. The minutes soon turned into hours, and Hiccup began feeling the cold emerging as a result of the setting sun breaking into his body. He had no idea for how long he was holding Toothless, how much he cried or how much he hated on himself for this being all his fault. Because of Toothless' thick skin, he couldn't feel if his heart was still beating, though if he had been able to, he wasn't sure if he even so would have had the courage to check. All he knew was that he would wait days or weeks even, if that was how long it would take before Toothless would wake up again.

"They've probably noticed we're gone by now... the feast must have started... the berries... I couldn't deliver them...", Hiccup whispered in a daze as he began feeling tiredness taking over. Still not feeling any motion from the dragon under him, Hiccup unconsciously let the urge to let his broken and tired self fall into sleep, still having his arms tightly wrapped around Toothless' neck.

By the next time he woke up, it was nighttime, though luckily the full moon provided some light where they laid, both covered in their own or the other`s blood. Having some trouble falling back to sleep, Hiccup suddenly flinched by a slight movement of a leg underneath him. Quickly lifting himself up to be on an arm`s length from Toothless, he watched as in a daze at one limb after the other becoming more and more movable, as the dragon beneath him let out tiny growls and whimpers, lightly stretching and twitching his legs, as if he were having a running dream. Hiccup only stared in blissfulness for a second as he felt a tremendous relief welling over him, overwhelming him to the point that tears of happiness now burst from his eyes as he once again lunched in for a tight hug, letting out several happy sighs and laughs.

"Toothless?! You hear me, buddy?!" he shouted while lightly nudging his head. Watching as Toothless' one eye slowly opened half way to look directly at him, he couldn't help but to let out a bright smile while lightly placing a hand on his head, stroking him gently.

"You'll be alright, buddy. It won't be long until we're found. We'll get these wounds cleaned up. You'll see.", he said with a gentle voice while stroking all of Toothless' blood stained body with his hands, lightly sobbing from the feeling of both an awful regret and an overwhelming relief turmoiling inside of him. Hearing a weak whimper emerging from Toothless' neck, he watched at how he painstakingly shifted his head to look ahead of him, letting out a tiny growl.

"What?" Hiccup said in a hoarse voice while looking in the direction of where Toothless was. His eyes had to adjust a little more to the dark before he soon spotted the shape of a rock, covered in the moonlight. It didn't take long before he recognized it as the place where he and Toothless had first met, the rock being what the Night Fury had pushed him towards, when he was sure he was about to kill him.

Placing his eyes back at Toothless, who did the same by looking back at him, Hiccup saw what he thought looked like a smile curling at Toothless' lips, before he closed his eyes and let his tired head hit the ground again, letting out what sounded like a satisfied grunt. For some reason, Hiccup found himself letting out a laugh at this sudden gesture, as he felt himself taken a bit by surprise. For being so sure of his dragon's indifference to nostalgic stuff, he for once happily realized he had been wrong. Toothless remembered and cherished their meeting as much as he did. Knowing this, he once again let his body lean on Toothless', as they both provided each other with their warmth to get through the chilly night.



"Hiccup! .....Hiccup!"

Toothless perked his ears at a familiar female voice from afar, followed by the sound of several flapping wings. Lifting his head, he let out a loud growl as he immediately recognized the voice from his humans' loud mouthed female friend. A few seconds passed before several of the village's dragons landed on the ground with heavy thuds in front of the poor sight that Toothless and Hiccup had been reduced to. The Vikings on their back, among them Astrid, were quick to jump onto the ground and make their way towards them, though Astrid was the first at the scene, panicly falling to her knees besides Hiccup and checking his state. Soon realizing he was alive, her frightened expression immediately disappeared as she grabbed Hiccup by his collar, shaking him violently out of his sleep.

"Hiccup, you idiot! How many times do you plan to scare me like this! What the hell were you up to?! Answer me!"

Hiccup barely caught the last half of her scolding as he found himself roughly awakened by the all too familiar angry voice of Astrid.

"Ugh... hey, Astrid." he groaned while rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Astrid having let go her hold a little. Looking over his shoulder to see the other Vikings examining the wounds on Toothless' body, he let out a worried expression by what the judgment would be. Suddenly feeling his hand being tightly clenched by another, he looked back at Astrid who seemed to have caught the seriousness of the situation as she too gave Toothless a worried look, deciding to hold back the rest of her scolding for now. About a minute passed before one of the Vikings, who was known for his doctor's skill, sighed while giving Toothless a pat on his head.

"Some of these wounds run pretty deep, but no worse than what a few stitches and some herbals should be able to heal. It'll take a few weeks until they're fully grown, though. I wouldn't recommend any flying meanwhile. But he was lucky. Whatever dragon who gave him these wounds could have easily done a much worse damage, judged by the size of the fang marks. Once again, seems like the both of you have been blessed with the protection of Thor."

"Perhaps." Hiccup said while placing his hand on Toothless' head after the other Viking had removed his.

"But I think the one I can thank the most for being alive is Toothless." he said with a smile, before getting interrupted by a rough punch to his arm.

"Don't count on it to always be like that. Didn't you hear; you almost got Toothless killed! I'm surprised at why he still keeps up with someone he always have to save." Astrid said with a sigh while getting up on her feet, helping Hiccup up as well. Only replying with a scoff at her statement, Hiccup and Astrid both went in to help lift Toothless onto one of the dragons, so that he could be carried back as fast as possible to clean the wounds before they'd get infected.


XXX


"Toothless, no! Down, boy!" Hiccup shouted while doing his best trying to press Toothless down with his bodyweight as he tried to get up on his feet, growling and wreathing madly as in an attempt to get out of the bandages that he clearly disliked. It had only been two days, and Toothless was already eager to get out in the sun and play and fly and do whatever he had missed doing ever since his powers and spirit had gradually returned while being "hospitalized" within Hiccup and his father's house.

"Toothless, I know you want to go out there, but the order was; no pushing yourself too hard while your puncture wounds and leg is recovering. I know that if I let you outside now, you'll go crazy with energy and run all over the place out of pure joy and then end up falling or crash into stuff and worsen the damage! So be a good dragon and stay here!" he said while once again grabbing a tight hold of the restless dragon, bucking in his hold while letting out several excited growls and howls. Feeling as Toothless was way too strong, Hiccup let out a smirk while taking a deep breath, intentionally letting go his hold a little, causing Toothless to break lose and make a dash towards the door.

"Toothless... you go out there and no fish for you!"

Hiccup had to contain himself from not letting out a laugh at Toothless who with a rough movement, paused a jump in mid air as it caused him to land on the floor with a tumble, turning around to let out a whimper and hanging ears that said; "I'm sorry.", in the most understandable way. Even not understanding human speech, the words "no fish" was among the words he had picked up on the meaning of, and he knew enough to know that those words was something that happened when he had done something wrong, and was not something he would risk happening if he could avoid it.

"Tsk, some proud creature you are. Food is more important than freedom." Hiccup scoffed while pulling out a fish from a basket in which he had been hiding, predicting a situation like this would occur as soon as Toothless would gain some of his health and restlessness back. Reaching out his hand, he let Toothless grab bites of the fish while gently stroking his head, smiling at the satisfied grunts he would give as he enjoyed being petted. His smile immediately turned upside down though, when he glanced over the bandages covering most of Toothless' body. Not having been much close to him since the incident with the Timberjack, because he had to be examined by the village's doctor as well to look for any injuries he might have received without knowing, next to answer all sorts of questions from the villagers, not to mention scolding from both his father and Astrid no less, who he at some point had thought was about to break up with him, when hearing how it was all his fault when it had started with him heading out on his own without Toothless. He had never thought Astrid could be angrier than what he had seen of her before, but she had made sure of proving him wrong on that point. If it hadn't been for her always finishing her scoldings with a tight hug or kiss to his cheek, he would never guess that the worry for him was the main reason for her outbursts. Having finally been able to come back to his house however, he was only met by the sight of a dead asleep, tightly bandaged Toothless, whimpering in his sleep as the wounds were still sending waves of pain throughout his body. Even as he was bandaged and cleaned up, Hiccup could still feel the gloomy suffering and tiredness that surrounded his body. No matter how much he tempted with food or tried to talk gently to him for the two next days, he wouldn't even lift his head in response. All he would do was stare mindlessly at the wall in between his uneasy naps. At this point, Hiccup had been terrified of this meaning that Toothless might never become the same again, or that he now hated Hiccup for him having been the cause of it all. He didn't know which was worse.
The joy had obviously been tremendous, when he the third day woke up to a big tongue, covering his face in spit as Toothless were clawing at his blanket, staring down at him with that big, goofy smile of his, awaiting his human to get up.
Afterwards, when having told Gobber about it, he could tell Hiccup that it was a common behavior for dragons to sometimes become indifferent to their surroundings when being ill or wounded, unless they felt threatened. It was least of all something to take personal, which Hiccup was extremely relieved about.

"I have no idea what all happened after you knocked me unconscious..." Hiccup said with a low voice while bending himself close to Toothless, who stared back at him with his big, yellow eyes, catching the saddened tone in his voice.

"... but you must have shown me a great deal of loyalty, didn't you?"

Reaching out his hands, he placed them on each side of Toothless' head, leaning in to let his forehead rest towards his, listening to his low growls as if he was questioning his sudden gesture.

"Please stay by my side forever, Toothless. I'll probably end up always doing these stupid things, but I probably wouldn't have the courage to stick through it if you weren't here. The least I can do is try my best not to put you in any unnecessary trouble again. Though if that's a promise I probably won't be able to keep, whether I want to or not, I'll give you this selfish request of always forgiving me whenever I do. My life wouldn't be the same without you. Not by far. You're my best friend. "

Toothless didn't understand much, although the soft and slightly hoarse tone in Hiccup's voice told him it was something important to him, and as a response he lightly nudged his head before pushing his head onto his lap to rest it there, closing his eyes while enjoying the strokes he received repeatedly over his head. Letting out yet a satisfied grunt, though this time at the fact he was still alive, Toothless couldn't help but to be at a loss of why it was so. He had no words for how shocked or happy he had been when waking up to find himself alive by Hiccup's side, a Hiccup shedding tears for him, talking to him and holding him like never before. Toothless' greatest regret about dying had been that he would no more be able to spend his days by his side, to play with him, to fly with him, to grow up with him. All this he regretted and so wished of all his heart that no matter what, his human wouldn't be sad about his death. Rather live on with his life like he did. All this, only to wake up alive by his side once more.
Why? Why was he still alive? Why hadn't the Timberjack killed him? All this and many more questions kept stirring inside his head, though in the end, they all got covered by the relief of still being alive together with his human.  

"I want to stay by your side forever, Hiccup. I love you."


.....
About a hundred meters from the village, towering on one of the many cliffs sticking out from the sea, stood a one eyed Timberjack, glaring calmly at the human village ahead, where she had witnessed from a distance the humans and pet dragons carrying the Night Fury she had injured so badly back to the village, caring for him to the point of cleaning his wounds and wrapping him up in some odd covering, which seemed to work as a healing of some sort. And ever since the little human brat had entered the den of dead trees in which they lived in, he had not once taken a step outside. Letting out a loud snort in which hot smoke emerged from her nostrils, she slowly unwrapped her giant wings to take to the sky, soaring in between the clouds while letting out a few fire breaths to reveal some tension.

"I have not ever met a more foolish dragon, yet not a more loyal or brave one for that matter. Hope you understand this, little Night Fury. I did not let you or your human live out of mercy or compassion. I wanted to see the so called care the humans have for us with my own eye, only so that I could slay you both when seeing the lie it is. Not once in my rather long life have I been wrong. But you and your human proved me otherwise... I hope the both of you have a good life together. You have certainly deserved it. However, know that if our paths ever cross and you will challenge me yet again, I will then kill you without fail."

Letting out an intimidating roar that made the sky rumble, the Timberjack flapped her wings one rough time to disappear into the sky, leaving her not so pleasing experience of the Night Fury and human that had changed her view on the world in general so greatly behind.



END
First chapter [link]
Second chapter [link]


Here you go^^ The final part of my HTTYD fic. Hope you liked it:)


So yeah, I don't know. Some parts I'm pleased with and other parts not so much at all. Perhaps an effect of me being a bit sleepy when writing this. But all in all, I'm satisfied with it. Am hoping to write some more HTTYD fics in the future, and hopefully those'll turn out better.


Anyways, hope you liked this chapter and the ending and a review is of course extremely much appreciated.


Thank you for having sticked through these three chapters :glomp::glomp::glomp::glomp::glomp:


-------------------
Characters belongs to Cressida Cowell & Dreamworks.
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OPEN in on a completely white scene with no visible elements whether it be cheap props or the occasional lost stagehand that forgot which actor wanted the double mocha with biscotti. Offscreen, we hear the pitter-patter of BOB THE TOMATO and LARRY THE CUCUMBER as they are preparing for the opening of VeggieTales.

BOB: Okay, Larry, time for Take 239 of the Theme Song!

LARRY: Bob, I'm getting exhausted and that moronic stagehand hasn't gotten my mocha yet.

BOB: [hiding his annoyance with false enthusiasm] Come on, Larry, it'll be fun just like all the other times!

LARRY: [not hiding his annoyance] FUN? Every time we do this number, you always drive me to play that tuba until I pass out. Last time, I nearly choked on one of those flower confetti things that you guys throw around! [beat] Besides, I can't function without my daily mocha.

BOB: [speaking through gritted teeth] You are gonna get out there before I have to beat your green ass with the peeler again.

LARRY: [horrified] You said you would never do that again!

BOB: [ominously] Get out there.

The voices stop after this and Larry slowly moves onscreen. He carries an exhausted expression on his face which he quickly replaces with his usual cornfed smile. Wrapped around him is a tuba which looks as though it fits a little too well. On cue, he begins to blow some triggering notes into the instrument. Bob flashes his cheap-at-Albertsons-for-two-days-only grin and stares creepily at the screen.

BOB: [singsong with the fake enthusiasm] If you like to talk to tomatoes, if a squash can make you smile-

Larry stops blowing notes and contributes some unwanted lyrics.

LARRY: [imitating the singsong tone] Then you have no life whatsoever!

Bob pauses and angrily glares at Larry as he sings this, trying to maintain his grin.

BOB: [through gritted teeth] This is no time for improv, jackass. Just play your tuba like you are supposed to.  

Larry continues playing the tuba. Bob almost begins to sing again but is interrupted when Larry makes notes that sound like flatulence.

BOB: [through gritted teeth again] What the hell do you think you're doing?

Larry stops playing and answers Bob in a matter-of-fact tone.

LARRY: Kids love potty humor these days, Bob. I just want to keep up with the times, tomato man.

Larry continues to make more farting sounds with the tuba. The canned laughter of children is heard offscreen. Bob angrily glares at the viewer.

BOB: DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM, YOU LITTLE GODLESS HEATHENS!

Bob turns back and re-focuses his anger on Larry who stops playing.

BOB: You are not Larry the Cable Guy! Now play the right notes!

LARRY: Oh I could be. [clears throat and speaks with poor stereotypical redneck accent] Get her well done, I tell you what.

BOB: [angrily] This is not funny, Larry!

LARRY: [same redneck accent] Lord, I apologize.

BOB: Alright, if you are not gonna take this seriously!

LARRY: [normal voice] You know, I find it odd how it's called "VeggieTales" when it includes several fruits including you, Bob. I mean, there's that Peach and that stuck-up Blueberry bitch who annoys me to no end.

As Larry muses to himself, Bob shows obvious signs of losing his patience. MR. LUNT, the Spanish gourd with no eyes and a Mexican accent, walks from the left side offscreen.

LUNT: Hey, is it my bit yet?

BOB: [at Lunt] Get outta here you damn Cheech Marin ripoff!

Mr. Lunt walks offscreen, swearing in Spanish. Larry shakes his head in the tsk-tsk fashion.

LARRY: Honestly, Bob, really? Don't take it out on Mr. Lunt, man.

Bob screams and lifts Larry with tuba using his invisible hands (or unregistered moment of vegetable telekinesis). Screaming, he throws Larry to the right offscreen. Bob turns in his rage and charges the screen. There is the sound of smashing glass before the scene cuts to a snowy reception.

A "Technical Difficulties" card appears. It shows the image of a gourd using a camera as a bludgeon to ward off the psychotic Bob the Tomato before a royal blue background. An unconscious Larry is shown in the corner of the image with the tuba bent and with an anime-style bandage on his forehead.

The scene changes when a camera refocuses on the same white scene. Bob is being dragged away by two asparaguses in white suits. He still rages at Larry offscreen. Archibald Asparagus walks in from the left and clears his throat.


ARCHIBALD: And it appears that the moral of the story is to remind us that Wrath is a deadly sin. And that Bob the Tomato is so easy to piss off. Thank you and have a good night. Or good day. Whatever time of day you had the misfortune of seeing Bob's hissy fit. I bid you all adieu.

Archibald walks offscreen. The VeggieTales logo slowly appears onscreen as if embarrassed to even appear. The scene plays out for a bit before fading to black.

END?
In the spirit of my parody piece about Hoops and Yoyo from Hallmark, I decided to make a satirical attack on the edible dorks at VeggieTales. It came to me after watching the intro on YouTube and realizing how easy it is to make fun of them.

Plus if you have ever seen a lot of the older stuff, Bob does have a hell of a temper. I figured I'd exploit that for the sake of humor.

Also, I find it so weird how talking animals piss off these Christian groups yet somehow talking vegetables are fine when their real-world counterparts never utter a sound, especially not bloody murder-style screaming when you dice them for your afternoon salad.

VeggieTales © Phil Vischer and Mike Nawrocki
Parody © :iconsaffronpanther:

Behold the "Failed Hoops & Yoyo e-card": [link]
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