An Adult's Letter to SantaAn Adult's Letter to Santa8 years ago in Prose More Like This
Every year, after suffering through horribly tacky presents, like a single, hideous sock, a box of Kleenex, a piece of wood, a bag of two-year old candy from the dollar-store, an out-of-date phonebook, a dead fish, and some toilet paper - not to mention the same damn fruitcake that I've gotten for the past six years, this year, I've decided to ask you for something that's not in your toy sack and won't fit down the chimney.
This year, I'm asking for a perfect man. The perfect man has beautiful blue eyes, good hygiene, ripped abs, a genius IQ, a nice car, a tan, and a Harvard education. He is filthy rich, very artistic, a CEO of a major corporation, is no more than five years older than I am, and is drop-dead-gorgeous. He cooks like a professional chef, washes the dishes, vacuums, loves to travel, will give me massages whenever I want, and will do anything in his power to please me.
Oh, wait - that man does not exist...nevermind then, just give me some chocolate.
P.S. If I e
Fella's HalloweenAnother Halloween night. The child-sized, pointy-eared creature gave himself one last once-over in the mirror before heading out the door. There hadn't been much for him to do, costume-wise. Given his everyday appearance, Fella didn't think he needed a costume at all. His sole concessions to the holiday were a pair of glittery antennae and a ray gun.Fella's Halloween4 years ago in Spooky Stories More Like This
That'll do, he thought to himself. He picked up the most important part of his ensemble for the night - a massive Trick-or-Treat bag - and marched out the door.
It was a cold, crisp evening, filled with the delighted screams of children and the scent of singed pumpkin flesh. Fella eagerly hurried along to the nearest decorated house.
The door opened, sans a mood-setting creeeaaak. A middle-aged woman answered the door with a sweet smile on her face, but her smile quickly faded when she laid eyes on Fella.
"Aren't you a l