StationI stared down the grey lineStation3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Lingering at the station.
Pathetically waiting in vain,
For the vivid colours of Autumn
To burn through the mist of November
That had settled along the tracks.
I was still waiting when the branches were bare;
December leeched the last of the hues
From the sight of my hometown horizon.
I don't pray --but somehow hoped
For a more promising January
To emerge from the downpour
As the train arrived late.
ForestryYour frail twig-like frameForestry3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And befuddled mind at peace;
Committed to already hazy memory--
A kindness in the saddening loss
Of another fragment of a generation,
And another branch hewn away
From the living family tree.
Paper PoppiesChildren’s fingers shed copper coinsPaper Poppies3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Exchanged for red paper poppies
Not fully understanding the symbol
Or the sacrifices made by millions.
I still can't say it...I've grown.I still can't say it...4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
You no longer haunt me;
I have changed
I accept my face is my own,
You are part of me but I'm not you.
I never have been
And never will be.
Four years on;
I still can't find the words I need
To finally manage to say
Early November.The late songbirds lament the final passing of Summer;Early November.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
As the corpses of fireworks lingered here and there,
Fallen into yards and streets with the leaves burning
Like the still smouldering fires that lit up the nights before;
A celebration of infamy with pyromania and explosives.
let me in...You begged of me 'let me in.'let me in...3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Share and share over again.
So, I finally opened like a book,
Guided you underneath my armour
And past all my carefully constructed defences
To see the true and 'real' me behind my smile;
I don't know how it happened--
But I inadvertently spooked you.
Like the scrape of jagged thorns mentally...
And then we became strangers
You looked at me with different eyes,
Once you knew me better than anyone else.
I gave everything of myself to you;
Every last little secret, wish and wicked thought.
Everything laid bare for your scrutiny;
But you treat me like something 'dangerous'
To be kept distanced-- at an arms-length,
You closed like a door slammed shut
Share and share over again.
All I ask is 'please let me back in.'
Erased.With no foot in the present,Erased.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I find the old photographs I possess
No longer match the landscape;
(I don't even remember when this happened)
Part of me feels somehow erased.
Everything re-ordered with every year I add,
My life unravels with the ticking of the clock.
In what seems to be an eye-blink,
The places I remember changed--
Trees of my childhood felled,
Halls of my education renamed,
Streets and roads re-routed completely,
Shops I visited just blind boarded fronts,
Or another familiar face gone forever
Ten-thousand-nine-hundred and fifty days--
No - even more than that and still counting.
I close my eyes and my mind fights in vain
To put everything back how it was.
I hold a million half-faded memories,
That I must accept more and more
Are now simply just that.
ReflectionI'm loosing gripReflection4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
No one to catch me
No one to pull me back
I don't know any more.
Nothing has been clear for quite some time
Am I myself or am I the looking glass?
The reflections all different to what I know
Uneasy dreams trailed with me
Into the waking world
I start to wonder end over end;
which one of us is trapped in a frame?
Am I just chasing clouds and dreams now -
Still chasing after something (but I don't know what)
That has already fallen apart before I touched it?
but I don't realise that yet;
Like the light of stars that hits our eyes
Long after they're dead
The stars still shine
And you are not dead
I feel it--
I grow weary of the world love
You are both yourself, and the looking glass.
You are what you see reflected within.
Even if different from what you know
Don't let go completely
Its showing you your soul.
No matter how broken You
Atlas... The first chanceAtlas...3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have to be with you,
I would drop the world.
You're not Atlas.
You don't have to carry the world,
Though you seem to try sometimes;
To shoulder every single burden.
You ought confess to that much.
Troubles and events
Beyond human control
These small things are straws
They only seem little weights
And it takes only one to break a back.
You must learn to let them go--
Else let me share the load.
Relationship SeasonsI remember when we were Spring;Relationship Seasons3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
So new like the waking of the new
We planted our beginning you and I.
With held hands, first dates and kisses
Like those fragile wary shoots and tentative buds
Hearts like plants, we became gardeners.
We began to develop and to grow into an ‘Us’
This--this could grow into something special…
I recall how we were Summer;
The moments were forever in a riot of colour
Of light and sound and splendour and tastes
Baked by the sun we took on the world fearlessly
Giddy as the wheeling of swifts above
Our skies were blue and hearts were light
A certainty of togetherness and embraces.
This--this could be amazing for always…
I recollect us as Autumn;
How we sparked and we burned-- like fireworks
Ours becoming a volatile and yet beautiful romance
The harvest woodlands lured us with its fruits
And we lived for the darkness and the licking flames
That held nothing compared to our passions--
Yet all those ‘when’ statemen
Autumn Childhood.Autumn was always my season.Autumn Childhood.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
This year, the wind just seems a little colder
And the aches a fraction more acute.
Nostalgia taking on the shapes
Of a carefree childhood--
Those seemingly indestructible days of youth;
Hours of blackberry picking and apple scrumping,
Bramble scratches, skinned knees and rope swings
Tree-houses, chestnuts, playgrounds and bonfires
All longed for again with the taste of toffee apples,
Home-made pickles, pies and walnut cake,
As thirty years get left behind.
Forget-me-notsI thought I might find you here;Forget-me-nots3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
No surprise to me
That you wander silently,
In a place of old memories
And consecrated grounds
With the long dead beneath your feet.
Erosion takes away the heart-felt words
That were once carved with family pride
Lost names and remembrance in stone.
You have no fear of the ghosts
Where now nature and time reclaim
Whispering gently in pale blue:
Undecided...I’m not living any moreUndecided...3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I’m existing-- struggling to survive
Hour by hour, then day to day.
I can’t seem to think any more.
I might manage the week,
If I can pull together my inner turmoil,
And wind it back up like string into a ball of unease
That tangles and twists in with my gut
And haunts the curved hollow of my skull
Its empty these days; I’m sure of it
Cause I think I dashed my own brains out.
If only I could rid myself of this heart,
I won’t stop bleeding inside with it there
I can’t wind down with it cluttering my chest
Nor can I find a tin-man who wants one.
Or the pieces of one, ‘cause I think its broke again.
And I don’t have the warranty any more.
I need to reassemble some of my emotional tatters
That seem to hang from my bones like flayed skin
And feel like crumpled paper under my fingers
As I try to smooth them out-- its not working.
There’s a knife in my back
I know I didn’t put it there--
Buy you make me
ReflectionsFor centuries we lay together;Reflections3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Past upon layered past.
But, fates are cruel in the present,
Cleaving we two apart instead of together.
I look at my own face in polished surfaces--
Hoping to see your eyes reflected somehow in mine,
Maybe you hope to see mine in yours?
As our bodies and hands were once so very close
I think on how our hearts and souls still are;
Still so inexplicably tangled together--
And they always will be.
No matter the distance to overcome.
lies...I forced a smilelies...2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And my lips split apart
Cracking up like dried earth
Spilling redness down my chin
And seeping between my teeth
I spoke through that grin
Although I could taste
The lies in my blood.
Bookworm.I observed you in your concentrationBookworm.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Fingers following spines lips murmuring titles
Before making your selection (or two... or three…)
And then with paper treasures in hand
You folded like living origami
Curling down and in on yourself
Into your favoured chair for hours
Hot tea slowly growing colder
With the world beyond the front and back covers
No longer existing.
BetrayalYou gave me scars;Betrayal4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Cuts that run soul deep.
I can never forget you,
Because in absolute truth
I never felt the knife slide in--
But I felt it twist.
Erased.I half expect to findErased.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Your face gone.
All faded away
Vanished from the family albums,
As we all faded from your mind and memory
Age, senility and dementia,
We all became fragments--
You to us and us to you.
Its like you’re erased--rubbed out
And the only things left to do
Are close the casket and say a goodbye.
Hawk-eyesYou have hawks eyes;Hawk-eyes3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A tilt of a head this way and that,
As you scrutinize me.
I half expect talons in my back,
Vulture-like you take time,
Picking at those little things
That you see as my flaws--
But for all your budgerigar nature--
And time spent before a mirror,
You fail to see the bigger flaws
That are all your own.
Lastly...The final day of another yearLastly...2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Arrived almost unnoticed;
As I count up the long list of losses-
Those of people and those of emotions,
Tallying up all the wrong-doings,
The petty spites and bone-deep hurts.
Boxing each away as a memory
Left to gather dust somewhere,
Able to neither forgive nor forget,
But able to move forwards--
And start counting the gains.
FakeMaybe they were lenses,Fake2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But I think you had ocean eyes-
It was hard to tell
Behind the cosmetic fakery;
Lashes struggling to flutter
Like seabirds after an oil spill,
As the far-to-cherry-red
Of your melting lipstick
Marred those overly-white teeth.
The straw thatch of your
Showing darker roots;
And I knew then, in those few moments
I would find nothing at all real
about you or within you.
Thief."I am a thief of lines." She whispered;Thief.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Then the words became something resonating,
Like a half forgotten melody down the ages
As you wrote your songs for a word-smith
Untameable soul and wicked little heart-stealer
Able to paint with words but unable to sing them.
Guilt.The confessions faltered my heart,Guilt.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
As you spill them so casually;
They eat into me,
Hollow me out--
Becoming doubts perched upon my shoulders
That evict both the angel and the devil.
An echo of who I remember me being,
I'm a trusting fool
As you change the subject,
And avoid my eyes.
Will I be a future guilt on your list?
Looking into an empty glass; I wonder,
Do I have anything to admit?
I meant every single 'I love you.'
--But I don't think you did.