queen of nothing.what I've learned:queen of nothing.2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
I still remember singing in my room when I was six, and having my mother come down the hall and slam the door so hard that the windows shook.
Her nails hurt when she scraped the tears off my face. "It doesn't matter what you want," she'd always tell me.
Like, when that drunk driver swerved and hit her car I didn't want her to leave me, and it didn't matter.
Once on vacation I bought a pair of fuzzy leather heels for two hundred dollars, and when I wore them to dinner, I found out that
1. "Suede" is a fancy word for "fuzzy leather."
And 2. Good things don't last: That night my cousin told me that she thought 135 pounds was a little too big for five foot eight. So I tore my tights up to the thigh and threw those new suede heels in the garbage.
It felt good later, to know that they couldn't hate me more than I hate myself.
My six-word story from ninth grade reads, "If I don't laugh, I'll cry."
When I read that treating people like trash to gets them to nee
to my lullabies, old and newyou always wereto my lullabies, old and new3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
my favorite lullaby
i once thought
our endless song
would carry through
forever and beyond
i quickly learned
how things change
our melody ended
my heart cracked
but something new
has finally occurred
a sweeter lullaby
with welcoming hope
a brighter horizon
thanks to you
farewell old lullaby
and good luck
...Jada are you doing okay...Jada are you doing okay2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Its so hard you guys... its so hard to be strong...
Im stepped on, told Im not good enough. Its only proof when I flunk school. People ask why I never go hang out with people... I have lots of excuses... and lots of reasons. Some are better than others.
Life is ment to be tough... but is it meant to be this tough? So hard it makes you wish you would die? I sometimes wish I had the guts to pull the trigger, to get out. I cant see a path out of this. No matter what I do, its like Im not going anywhere. Im stuck in place, staring at my own personal room of pointless drama, hate, death, sadness, and cruelty. My own personal hell...
I know people have it worse than I do... But that doesnt mean I dont feel it...
Every other friday I have to go by to my mothers... its like Im stabbed with another knife forcing myself to smile. Its only because she ruins everything about me. Its selfish to point the figure though... isnt it...
I make a lot of mistakes, and I know everyone else does to... Its n
The Blood in your Veins - Part 1Fair Warning, this one falls under TRAGEDY.The Blood in your Veins - Part 12 years ago in Drama More Like This
An alternate ending to season 4 and the complete opposite of 'Hell Bent'
The Blood in your Veins
Dean splashed the warm water on his face, closing his eyes for a moment to reflect on the day he'd just had. The day that had changed everything in the blink of an eye. Sam as he knew him, was gone and the road he was on just seemed to be getting narrower. He'd promised his servitude to the angel who had pulled him from Hell, but now regretted his decision as he watched his little brother slide over to the dark side he feared. He let out a sigh and opened his eyes, jumping slightly when he caught the reflection in the mirror of the angel standing behind him in the small motel washroom. "Dude, you couldn't wait till I was done?" He groaned, turning to face the angel that had suddenly appeared.
"We need to talk." Castiel started, eyeing the busted lip and bruised cheekbone.
"I'm not really in the mood Cas." Dean growled, passing a towel over
fall to intangibility with meYou're just one of those lionhearted rarities; distinct in this world of fast-moving heartbeats and electric cacophony. For every key you touch is another second of pending and disquieted love. One of those ethereal extinctions; before everyone turns their eyes on you you've already flown away.fall to intangibility with me4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I stand watching under your dim balcony behind a happy façade; Watching you like a dream catcher. Because I keep cotton clouds in glass jars and paint my world in shades of white and write your name in the spaces between my fingertips.
Weeks are rigid borders like prison barring minutes in; and cliffs made of metal;
I watch you laugh and frown through those incandescent gold reflections.
I want to write you the most beautiful nocturne and paint you something abstract of gold swirls and blue intangibilities to hang on your ceiling;
to make you think of me.
While years and years race past me I drag old clothes out of closets until flecks of dust dance in the air because I want to be a butterf
Binary tool eraser for Paint Tool SAII get asked this quite a few times, and sometimes I see people trying to use the regular eraser to erase pixel lines in SAI. There is a way to make a binary tool eraser, which will make your life tons easier and keep your lineart and shading looking sharp!Binary tool eraser for Paint Tool SAI3 years ago in Personal More Like This
After I did this, it was a lot easier to do pixels, especially when I shade. I build up layers and multiply them and erase away highlights.
I just thought I should post this for those who wanted to know!
The Death Within LifeRaging SeasThe Death Within Life3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That is what life is.
No fairy godmothers
or knights in shining armor.
Only witches and cauldrons
recipes for disaster.
There are no three wishes
or steeds that fly.
No hero, no powers,
certainly no rewinds.
Life is but time
Spent by little moments
we call ours.
It is never enough,
they're left to remain.
Not even our mind, our knowledge
can prolong our hours.
To live them as they come
seconds remembered, never forgotten.
To let them pass
by our envy and our pride.
No wonder we are fools
both then and now.
Not one of us
Making us relish,
bathe in the honor
There was never a vow
of an easy way out.
Forever there will be work
never will it be clean.
Evil, never in absence
but nor will light and hope.
Perhaps all we can do
is to fight, to fall.
To live and die
Dear GodDear God,Dear God3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Let me just start out by saying that
I know I don't believe in you
- I don't think I ever did.
I know church was just an obligation to me,
Filled with psalms and flickering candles.
I know I've "sinned",
And I'm sorry
- that's what you say
When you're in confession,
Right? I'm sorry?
(more than I've told the truth),
I've committed blasphemy
Godhow I've used your name in vain).
You could even say that
I'm not happy with what I have
(is this body really something to be proud of?).
But worst of all those sins,
I've committed murder.
I've killed the person
You used to know.
That innocent little girl
Who used to balance your book
In her tiny hands
And caress its weight to her chest;
Those papyrus-thin words
Rustling as they impacted
Her still developing morals.
The little girl
Who created ripples in
Your bowl of holy water
- watching as they rebounded
And slowly stilled into
admittance is defeatthey called you beautifuladmittance is defeat2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with porcelain eyes about to crack
and cigarette skin crumbling
away, a knotted spine and
you were never gracious.
you're slipping underneath, this
virulent smog masks a paper sky that
never allowed a dream and
you're afraid because it's soaking in
your pores again, unattainable and unoriginal;
the meaning of life never meant enough-
you were never hopeful.
there's a getaway map on the underside
of your pillow, and a lifetime of secrets
on the underside of your bones
you're a walking travesty:
your chest ticks, dull
your wrist beats, dying
time is keeping you but
you were never patient.
you lie large enough to make us believe you
don't entertain nightmares, but what if
no one could hear you scream?
remarkable, it seems
caged birds really know how
to sing out
(you were always beautiful)
The same path we are onI always told youThe same path we are on3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
not to ever feel
because you knew
I would think of you
and I would
where you were.
If you only knew
that we are
under the same sun
and under the same moon
under the same
bright - burning
You'd see that
we are not so far away.
That miles are only numbers
and I refuse to let them
keep your heart away
(I am trying,
like I never did)
But miles are also wide
and I never learned
how to swim,
you were quite
I know you can
but I was never
for you to carry me with you
and save us both.
Just tell me,
which way to go
so I don't get lost...
I don't know where else to turn.
All I need is your voice
but your voice is turning into
an empty e c h o.
I know you're alone
because that's exactly
the same path
that I am on...
When fragile things let goHave you ever feltWhen fragile things let go3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
like a leaf in the middle of autumn?
Just falling off,
into n o t h i n g.
Like if the wind was trying to set you free
but it only got you nowhere?
I promised myself I wouldn't let you close enough to hurt me
But like everything in life,
it's just meant to be broken.
Now I feel like if I didn't feel, (does it even make sense?)
and I'd like to call myself a zombie,
but even zombies are more alive... (and they don't even exist)
You told me to hold on,
that you'd never let go
How didn't I remember that it couldn't be true?
that forever is just in fairytales,
and that I'm not in one.
Love seems so strong but it's so fragile,
it lifts you up to the sky, and when you fall...
you just break.
And the falling is even worse that when you hit the ground.
Fragile things we hold on to...
and when they let go,
we are just blown away...
And I'm just a leaf,
that is falling off
it's like if I was on the edge.
(and I feel it's all o
Within the heart of darkness.Tear tracks carve delicate patternsWithin the heart of darkness.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Into to hollows' of my cheeks
Your beautiful face forever etched
Into the gallery of my memories
Choked cries mingle in the air
Twirling like a broken symphony
My eyes filled with fresh sorrow shine
Like the moon on a clear winter's eve
Sobs wrack my body uncontrollably
Moving it in a jerky puppet's dance
My hands desperately rake at the ground
Tearing at the Earth to try to bring you back
My heart splinters into a thousand tiny pieces
An exquisite jigsaw only you can complete
The fibres of my very being unknit
And unravel into a tangled web of colour and anguish
My soul yearns and searches for you:
A homing pigeon in the raging, rolling storms of my emotions
I lay on the floor defeated and wounded
A broken soldier bereft of a cause to fight for
Yet, in that night of madness and insanity
In which my world was turned on its head,
And my light and life had nestled so close
Then was snatched so cruelly away
The sun rose and brought with it new hope.
I Never Called Myself a PoetSomewhere, outI Never Called Myself a Poet3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
hiding in the
the answers can
what I was
the first place.
Can't smiles be broken too?Close your eyesCan't smiles be broken too?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
no, open them
no, how do you see better?
it seems you're just blind...
or am I the one that made up her own reality?
(I wish I could throw you up,
just like I throw up words,
or just like I throw up my food
but you're pretty buried in my heart
and you can't purge a heart,
I always said I didn't want to forget you.
but you're leaving me no choice
and still I can't seem to let you go...
( I still don't want to)
I always loved the silence of when we lied on the grass,
because you used to fill it with your warmth
you were like your own star
but now is like I'm freezing
and I can't find the star that you used to be.
Baby you took my heart
you know it's with you
how can you forget?
that's the reason it's broken.
(leaving my heart on a basket full
of dust isn't what I really wanted)
I'm tired of hearts getting broken
can't smiles be broken too?
Writers"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me"Writers2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
How many times have we heard that?
What a fool that person was indeed for creating such a lie as that
Sticks and stones do break bones and words cut much deeper than a knife
Words go where no weapon can ever dream of reaching, our very soul
Words move us, inspire us, bring us down, create hate, create love.
Words can destroy just as easily as they build
Bring life as easily as it could death
Give hope and in the same second despair
Words can change the world for good or evil.
It is the job of writers to wield these weapons with care and maturity
We speak loudest with just a whisper
And quietest with just a shout
We create and nourish worlds for those who still believe in good
We open eyes and minds and hearts to the world around them
We become a beacon, and sometimes that beacon goes out
We forget what it is we do for this world and forget that we must tend to our gardens
We forget we're human and make mistakes
Sing me lullabiesI miss the lullabySing me lullabies3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
your heart used to sing to me,
lying my head on your chest
listening to your heartbeat
as I fall asleep
was music to my ears.
And not even the louder
thunder of this rain of pain
that's where my soul
used to be for so long,
not even that could wake me up.
(I thought my soul and my heart
could actually get along
but they never seem to work things out)
Can you live with a feeling heart
and have no soul?
because I've never felt
I missed it
it's like you had always been
my missing soul.
(So I guess that's why
my soul isn't coming back
not unless you leave
but no, darling
don't ever leave
you're so much better
singing me lullabies
as I try to sleep...)
Can't You Hear Me?Hello,Can't You Hear Me?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Don't you hear me?
Don't you hear my cries?
Out to you.
You don't answer.
You don't answer.
You don't answer.
And all I get is an E
I need help.
I need you.
Don't you hear me?
Don't you understand?
Can't you give me a hand?
DreamlandWake up, little girl, wake up.Dreamland3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The dream you've created is crumbling..
The life you're leading isn't real.
Your memories are nothing but lies.
Look beyond the window.
Sneak a peak into this reality;
this isn't some lovely paradise.
This is Hell on Earth.
I'm sorry, precious child.
I wish you didn't have to see the decay.
I never wanted you to witness
how cruel life truly is.
You can't go back to sleep,
you can't forget what you've learned.
The knowledge will stay with you from now on.
You can't go back to innocence.