Reflection.I'm here now.
Now where we once were. Now without you.
Bonds between two can be made instantaneously
and will both strengthen and weaken overtime.
Our bond was like any other: irregular, stressed,
and at times looking as if it might break. It
never did though. We mended each others wounds.
It took time; although, everything goes along with time.
I can't help reflecting on those days.
Sometimes moments that I had lost in the back
of my mind are found so easily while I waste the
night away. Your face, your voice, your character,
I remember it all. But what I recall and cherished
so much back then were your eyes. The window to
the soul, or so they say. To me they were a glimpse
into your heart. A heart that had known oppression,
begged for answers, and suffered loneliness.
So I did what I could, and with only a glimpse of
something so magnificent I gave it what every heart deserves.
I gave it love.
I did not even know it at the time. Regardless, I had
done it. Whether intended or not, you
What Lies Past.Sitting here.What Lies Past.3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Satisfy my hunger.
A sip of liquid.
Back to typing.
Adjust the fan.
Nothing changes much.
To the door.
Lean towards it.
Close one eye.
Squint the other.
Peek through eye-hole.
Over a short amount of time, I have seen much. Sounds and noises will come
from past that door and I will rise every time, trying to catch a glimpse of
what it was. Gazing through that circular crack in the wall of my mental prison.
A taste of freedom.
Cool breeze of the outside.
I could be out there.
In the open.
But shortly following the mere seconds of spying outside the confines of my mind,
I return to my seat once again to continue typing.
Satisfying my hunger.
Drinking more liquid.
Never ceasing the clicking.
You'll Never Understand...You'll never understand...You'll Never Understand...3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But I'm glad you don't.
Because that would mean
You'd have to go through my pain.
And I'd never wish that
Poor Man's GoldHush the youngest children, for the demon in the skiesPoor Man's Gold3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Treasuring the very thought of anyone's demise
Glitter fades to black and shining moonlight fades to dust
Every cruel man's wonderland is built of poor man's trust
Tragic, empty melodies and blood beneath the air
Fearlessly escape the wind and drown without a care
Treasure death as platinum, as silver and as gold
Every cruel man's wonderland is built of poor man's gold...
Sick of societyI may live inside my own, twisted universeSick of society3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I may change, sometimes for the worst.
What's normal to me is not normal for you.
Sometimes I just do what I need to do.
Behind a brick wall, I hoped someone would break it
I threw out my heart hoping someone would take it.
But I got tired of hiding and tired of hating
And instead of throwing myself at every guy, I'm waiting.
I'm sick of the person I tried to be
So basically, here I am, I will be me
I'm sick of the hatred, would you not agree?
.. Basically I'm sick of society.
Gun Within The MirrorIt feels as if my reflectionGun Within The Mirror2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Points a gun at its own head,
As my bullet shoots the mirror
And paints the floor with red,
And it feels as if my gun
Just isn't steady in my hand,
Because darling, when I jump off cliffs,
Do you think I always land?
It feels as if the razor blade
Might be my only friend,
And it feels as if the broken glass
Might soon begin to bend,
Because my reflection is distorted, love.
Can't you see that, love, can't you see?
I'm pointing a gun at the mirror,
And the mirror points back at me.
Am I Good Enough...?Legs crossed on a cold basement floor,Am I Good Enough...?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Blood stains painting my flesh,
The wounds deeper than ever before,
A white gown now a short black dress.
Long tangled hair clinging to my tears
Wind howling through the trees,
Moonlight painting a sky so clear,
And darling, I'm going to be set free.
My fingers scratch at the blood on my skin,
A delightful pain at the thought of a touch,
And hey, everyone who said I wasn't worth it,
Now am I good enough?
Are You?I'm sorry,Are You?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
that I'm not
I'm not a supermodel.
that I'm not
I'm not a comedian.
that I'm not
that I'm not
that I'm not
I'm not perfect.
I am a labelI slid the blade across my wristI am a label3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Again and again.
Maybe I’m an emotional freak.
I cause fights and arguments
Maybe I’m a troublemaker.
I use make up to make myself seem
Maybe I’m girly.
I complain about things
Even when sometimes
Maybe I’m an attention seeker.
I fall under so many
So maybe I am a label.
I’m just me.
And Daddy always lied.My legs are covered in bruisesAnd Daddy always lied.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And I have a scar by my left eye.
I’m not allowed to smile, though
And I’m not allowed to cry.
I think my right arm’s broken
But shh, don’t tell my dad.
He doesn’t like to worry bout me
When he’s already mad.
I have a burn on my left wrist
From when he pushed my arm
Against the stove, the hot, hot stove
And did a bit of harm.
I have a bear, a teddy bear.
He doesn’t have a name.
He makes me better every time
I’m feeling hurt and shame.
Today, my dad came home kind of late
A beer still in his hand.
I closed my eyes and waited.
He screamed, he shouted, and…
Well, my name is Mary Starr
And this is how I died.
But daddy always loved me.
And daddy always lied.
Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?Does that make me Different?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
But at least it makes me
When I SaidWhen I said I wanted a fairy taleWhen I Said3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I meant I wanted a prince.
I didn't want to be locked in a
I didn't want to be fought by a
I didn't want
When I said I wanted a fairy tale
I meant I wanted to be a princess.
I didn't want to watch a rose
I didn't want to wear the gown
I wanted it
When I said I wanted a fairy tale...
I expected it to end in a
But i never expected it to end like this.
Heartfelt repetitionSometimes I long to hold youHeartfelt repetition3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Bury my nose in your hair and breathe
I want to know what safety smells like again
I want to be held back by you
To be cherished and loved as much as I do
I love you, I love you
I just want to see you right now
Hold your hand tight and kiss your brow
Just feel the warmth that radiates
Just talk and talk for hours
I wish I could always be with you
You'd call and I'd be right there
I love you, I love you
I'd need a hug and you'd be there for me
We wouldn't need secrets or pain
Sad faces and sickness
No, we'd be okay
You and I
But then I'd always be afraid
Of when you'd say goodbye
I love you, I love you
Getting By About a month or so before my thirteenth birthday, my parents had gotten an eviction notice. My dad hadn't had a job for two years and both our rent AND light bill was $600 dollars. My grandmother had been paying rent for us for a few months with her retirement money, yes she's that kind and loving and I love her for that. When my parents told me about the eviction, I bawled like a little kid for almost two hours. We were losing our home, there was no where else to go. All we could do was pack some of our stuff into our car. (we packed a few blankets, our most precious valuables and a few other things really) We lived in the car for about a week, we were parked in the back of a Wal-Mart parking lot. My "grandparents" as you might say... somehow found us and checked us into a hotel. We stayed in the hotel for about a week as well. Then, a friend of my dad's had called him to tell him that a homeless shelter had space available. Well, when we got to the sheGetting By3 years ago in Profiles More Like This
No Longer a Little GirlDear imagination, can't you be the thing you wereNo Longer a Little Girl3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Butterflies and daffodils and happiness so pure
Sunny skies and lullabies and dreams of what could be
Hidden worlds and wonderlands of things they couldn't see
Shining gowns and silver crowns for dancing with the prince
Twirling with excitement, though the others weren't convinced
Dear intimidation, did you find it to be true
All I ever needed was an overdose of you
Silly stares and laughter slowly flood a child's mind
Making me abandon every daydream I could find
Lost beneath the shadows of the sky so dark and dead
Far too weak to turn around, yet scared of things ahead
Dear destructive tendencies, I feel it's time to hear
You were all I had when nothing else seemed to be near
Everything so out of reach, too far for me to see
I decided I would choose the needle next to me
Slicing through my very skin to feel something once more
Weeping through the satisfaction I could not ignore
Dear imagination, can't you be the thing you were?
Because I'm GayAn important note: This is NOT me, this is my original character and his story. I've created him and hope to publish his story once I finish my novel, and hope his story will bring hope to those who are gay, bisexual, transsexual, etc. This is not my personal story. Thanks for reading!!Because I'm Gay4 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
My name is Spencer
And I'm fifteen
I like to play tennis
Not act in theater
I have two sisters
One older, one younger
And kind of annoying
I go to Church
Volunteer at the local
And I like writing songs about love
I eat, sleep
Breathe the same air
As any other human
People would like me
A whole lot more
Except for one thing:
Because I'm gay
I have no friends
At school I'm ridiculed
Because I'm gay
My Dad refuses to look at me
Like I'm some sort of mistake
Like I'm a problem
Because I'm gay
Society rejects me
My grandparents reject me
People I used to know reject me
Because I'm gay
I've lost my rights
To have a voice
To be huma
I can't write poetryI can't do thisI can't write poetry4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
From my body
Crimson on snow
Opening the door
To my soul
To make you feel
What I feel.
What do I feel?
Do you even know?
You stare at my words
It's a lie.
The Truth Hurts, Doesn't It?Everyone has a secret.The Truth Hurts, Doesn't It?5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Its the razor blade under their pillow.
The end of a toothbrush covered in bile,
Even a loaded gun stashed in your closet that was somehow 'misplaced'.
Its only the name of a crush scribbled over and over on a crumpled piece of paper,
The quiet whispers of where you snuck out to last night.
How you really passed that test.
Its the innocent sayings that hurt the most,
Pent up emotion that cuts the deepest
Your kin by blood that deal the killing blows.
Yet you continue to let them close enough to see the pain in your eyes,
Under the false hopes that instead of pushing you away,
They would accept you for what you are.
A monster of your own creation.
Don't try to change a creature of habit,
Never trust the wind to break your fall,
Promise you won't hide from something that is truly blind to reality.
Each person shouldn't have to change their ways
In order to be accepted by a society
Which stores their own s
That Gay Boy Sitting Next To YouLook at the gay boy sitting next to you,That Gay Boy Sitting Next To You2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the one who you kick, physically torture and verbally abuse.
Look at his eyes that were once vibrant with life,
and keep in mind that you and your friend's were the one who stole his light.
You called him a sin and condemned him to hell,
every day he walked through the school doors, he was greeted with your intolerant yells.
With your injustice , you treated him as terribly as you pleased,
and when you were through with your torment, you treated him like some sort of disease.
Was religion your actual excuse to act like an ass,
or was there something that you refused to see past?
Because that gay boy who sits next you daily in class,
is the one who knows your present, future and past.
He knows where bullies come from, so don't hide fully behind Christianity.
Because when you go home, you yourself are showered with profanities.
The same fist you used to beat the blue eyed boy,
is the same fist that your father uses to wring around your neck
If you are a victim...If you have ever faked a smileIf you are a victim...3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Slit your wrist
Cried yourself to sleep
Wished yourself gone
Chased a dream (and lost it)
Ended up in a nightmare…
Turned away from your “friends”
Tortured yourself over an error
If you are a victim…
Remember to stay strong.
Because you’re only a survivor
Leaveme.Leave3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I no longer house sanity
only ghosts that were never
told how to move on.
maybe we used to be the same,
but now your cracked reflection
only adds to my years of bad luck
you never counted the lines in my smile,
or the notes between my freckles,
you only measured me.
I'm something to get by on,
but I'm simply not enough.
my watered-down voice
is growing weaker.
and you feed me sugar pills
to diminish the pain
(these bones still bleed)
there are vultures in your eyes,
they know what's coming next
children call on saviors to vanquish demons
from their closets and I'm begging
the silent priests to
they didn't understand what I meant
when I said you stole my breath away
if I turn on the lights,
would you disappear like the times
when I needed help?
I live in waking fear of silence
(I know it's where you wait)