Multiple vs. MPD, DID, DDNOSRogan: Hey Sneak. We're multiple, right?Multiple vs. MPD, DID, DDNOS5 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
Rogan: So, does that mean we must have Multiple Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, or Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified?
Sneak: Nope! Not at all!
Rogan: Care to elucidate on that?
Sneak: Sure! First of all, we flunk the diagnostic criteria for MPD or DID.
Rogan: *claps hands to face* Gasp! How can that be?
Sneak: Easy. To have DID or MPD, you don't just rent out your mental real estate. People have to take over control of the body, and you have to have trouble remembering important things. We fulfill the first and second parts, but our memory problems are pretty much negligible
Real-Not realNot real? Not there? Doesn't exist? These concepts are foreign to me when I think about them, they don't feel right. I think it over. Sometimes I think they aren't real, and that I'm just playing mind games with myself. That I'm just trying to make an excuse for why I'm such a fuck-up, or why I'm literally sometimes "not myself". Thinking more about it, it's silly. They may not have always been there as they are now, but they've always been there. I've always been split. I think, and ask myself questions. How could they not be real? Is this person not real? They're silly questions. How could someone who's not real cry over their abandoned child? Or be so proud of their daughter? How could someone who's not real be abused? How could someone who's not real hate themselves? Or have nightmares? These people are just as real as I am, if they aren't real then neither am I. They have tastes and opinions and lives. They're people. They're my family. They're alters. They're real.Real-Not real5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
IdentityIt should be normal to the young one; so easily broken.Identity4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It should be normal to ride in the car with her father and not be shaken.
It should be normal.
It should be; but isn't.
How do you know that's your daughter, daddy?
How do you know the one that sits silently in the car is her?
She sits silently for a reason.
That is not your daughter.
With cold replies and stern looks to, "How are you?"
That is not your daughter.
I'm just fine. Just fine. But who are you asking?
"M*****, are you alright? What's wrong with my baby?"
You oblivious dolt. You should've asked earlier, a lot earlier.
"Nothing, dad. I'm in the mood for music. I don't want to talk to you."
"Ouch... Alright, sweetie."
Oh how heart breaking; I am further cracking their bond.
Ten minutes pass, on the way to school... That's still not your daughter.
"Are you alright?" He asked yet another time.
"How many times do you have to ask to get it through your head? I. Am. Fine."
Reasons to Live1) loveReasons to Live5 years ago in Articles & Interviews More Like This
2) the future is so much brighter
4) seeing others smile
5) to fulfill my dreams
6) to watch the sunset over the ocean
7) not only to love, but to feel loved
8) to dream
9) to achieve dreams
10) to learn something from the hardships, and make tomorrow better due to it
11) to have your toes in the mud on a warm summer day
12) to laugh
13) to experience new things, may it be travels, may it be dancing under the moon.
14) to feel the sun
15) to take the time to sit and watch ants
16) to lie in the grass
17) to hear the crash of waves
18) to hug and be hugged
19) to make a child smile
20) to eat a piece of chocolate
21) to hear a moving piece of music
22) to meet a kindred spirit
23) to show others that life can change and get better
24) to write love on your arms
25) baby siblings. they'll need you and look up to you
26) God (with love, honor, hope, and appreciation)
28) my family, Friends old and new
29) laughter (even with just myself)
30) music listening, co
DID-MPD Biography TemplateBASIC INFORMATION:DID-MPD Biography Template4 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Age & Gender?
Species & Powers?
City or town of birth?
Hate Or Dislike?
Any Physical Or Mental Disabilities?
Describe Where You Live?
Favorite Place’s To Go?
SelfWhat makes you a person- a human- a being? I am an alter- seem by society as a fragment or part of another but why? What makes me different from Tori or her mother? From the woman across the street or the man that stumbles while carrying in the groceries? What makes me an alter and her a person?Self4 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
Is it because we were born under the name of Victoria while I call myself Llana? No- I don't believe that's it. If that was it, surely those that legally change their names would be alters instead of people, too. But what if I legally changed my name? Would that make me a person and not an alter?
Is it because I see myself as being younger than we are physically? No, that can't quite be it. Many people are immature for their age- just look at Tori's mother. She's in her mid forties and acts like a teenager.
Is it because she thinks and feels? I think and feel! I feel happy sometimes and miserable others, completely independent from her. I get angry and scared and I cry even when she doesn't. Ho
Julian Michael Casterella BioJulian Michael Casterella Bio5 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Julian Michael Casterella.
But most of my friends call me Juli or Julls. ^_^
What's Your Age & Gender?
Can I pick myself?
Or Evan, he's like a little animal.
mmmmm . Foooooood.
I like pizza the most.
It depends on my mood. Probably Red tho.
Haribo Gummy Bears!!
Place To Go:
Around the world with Kiki and Wolfe.
Mmmm Spring. Wind, but lots of sun.
And I like all the flowers and trees blooming. It's pretty, and the air smells good.
I try not to, but when Evan isn't home, I promise nothing.
Blame It (On The Alcohol) By Glee or by Jamie Foxx. Both good.
Do You Have Any Kids/Or Had Any?
I have my son Evan who is 3 right now. I share custody of him with Becca and all the people that live with me help. Lol.
What Kinda Of Fears Do You Have?
Being locked up.
Percy Jackson meets Kane ChroniclesPercyPercy Jackson meets Kane Chronicles4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Annabeth and I were in Manhattan during the night, dating while summer vacation still lasted,while I was walking Annabeth home at around 7:00 am we were attacked by a group of Laistrygonian giants or as Annabeth called them, Canadians. Since we were tired doing something together, I mean working together not doing anything else, and we were out numbered cause we were two demigods vs twenty giants, we split apart. I thought Annabeth was able to take care of herself , but when the battle ended, I couldn't find her. I counted the piles of gold powder to check if twenty died, I found 4 survived. Scared they took Annabeth as prisoner, I I.M.ed her and found her body, unconscious and carried by 4 Canadians. As fast as I could, I finished the I.M., and sprinted to C.H.B to ask Chiron if we could get a quest to find Annabeth.
I woke up in a backseat of a car full of Canadians, panicked I pretended to still be unconscious. I looked around to observe things, the giants were on eac
Only My ImaginationI can see you, your short brown hairOnly My Imagination3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
your big brown eyes
your smile that always gives me butterflies.
I can taste you, savory on my lips
tangy in my mouth
sweet on my tongue.
I can hear you, your calm breathing next to my ear
your steady heartbeat against my chest
your soothing voice.
I can feel you, warm against my skin
cool to the touch
burning with our joint passion.
I can smell you, your cool masculine musk
your fresh clean skin hair
your strong spiced deodorant
LostScreamingLost3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I Miss YouI miss you.I Miss You2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I can't stop loving you.
True love never dies.
I can't find the words to tell you
What you mean to me.
You never know what you have until it's gone.
What's wrong with me?
What did I do?
Hopelessly thinking about then
On the rooftop,
When you said
"This is the end.
Nothing lasts forever
My AnxietyWill you accept me? If I show you the real me?My Anxiety4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
No, not the me wrapped in pretty ribbons,
Meticulously layered in that vomit-inducing, festively designed wrapping paper you like so much
Those are the distractions I made for you
The real me, she's hidden in a deep dark place inside that carefully crafted box you see
And when she is no longer covered in all the pretend
There is nothing festive or pretty about her...
I never knew how easy it was to lock myself away forever with fear
Fear of rejection, pain, fear of the world beyond the make-shift walls I built myself
Not until reality showed me how disgusting people can be
The cruelty that was once myth, I now see, shining in the eyes of my closest friends
And it's staring me down, constantly
Every god damn day
Every god damn time I get too close!
Will you still love me? If I open myself up to you?
If I allow you to unravel that stupidly sarcastic ribbon?
If I don't stop you when you peel away strip after strip of that thin l
As I Await my DeathI listen to the rain on the window,As I Await my Death2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Smell the glass on my desk with the burnt matches,
Press against my ears hoping to relieve the pressure,
And I realize- I am dying.
It's a comforting thought, really.
Now I can wake up with hope, knowing that,
At the end of the day, I am closer to death.
Always one instant closer to my end.
I do not know how I will go.
It's like a game, or a present.
I crave the contents of the box,
Giddy for its arrival like a child.
Will I die of old age,
After a long life of love and heartbreak?
Will people miss me, or would I die
Alone and full of empty resentment?
Will I die young?
I could die today, in any number of ways.
My parents would be stuck with wasted loans,
And everyone would be disappointed in me.
Will I someday be married,
Have a wife and some kids,
And die in a car crash,
Leaving them to wonder, If only.
Will I live life as a bitter alcoholic,
Drinking myself into numbness,
And wishing I could die?
I need to get away from that.
I listen to the rain
Don't Give Up! Better Days are on Their Way.Dedicated to:Don't Give Up! Better Days are on Their Way.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
All of those who have been through Hell, in hopes that they will hold their chin up, keep smiling, and move forward.
Some things in life will try to bring us down.
Sadly some will succeed, but do not frown!
It may feel like your sorrows will not end,
But fear not my dear, the sun will shine on!
There are moments that makes us want to die,
And all we can see is a gray, rainy sky.
We feel like our destinies have become dead, defeated, and detached from this desolate world.
We all come to know some sort of agonizing, abysmal atrocity that accumulates in our soul.
Sometimes others are at fault for our pain,
But often we create our own vain rain.
When it comes to others, it can be many things-
Why is there war?
Or why do people act sly and lie?
Why are people deceptive and so selective?
Do people not recognize the seven deadly sins??
A Letter to the Self-HatedTo my self-hated youth and those who are broken:A Letter to the Self-Hated11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Remember your beauty. Remember that even if I were gone, and you were broken, that you would still come up from your cocoon into a glowing butterfly. Remember that even if your hearts' a mess, that hope is gone, that salvation is dim... that there is always someone to hold your hand, someone to care for you. There is always someone who feels for you... even if you feel you have no one.
We always have our inner fears, our inner woes, our inner beliefs. Sometimes we think we are bad, that we are so broken, no one will love us. But the truth is, no matter where you are in life, and in the world... there is always someone who cares, and would love to hold your hand through all of it, even if you struggle more than anyone else in the world.
There is compassion, there is hope, and there is prosperity. There is darkness, there is hatred, there is cruelty. But we must not focus on the aspects that make us so hurt and in pain... instead, we
Who will suicide hurt?Empty and cold insideWho will suicide hurt?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Is this all that's left
This narration inside my mind
The ability to have these thought is the only thing keeping me alive
What would it be without them
No pain to think about
Nothing to worry about
I wouldn't need to cry anymore
I'd still be empty, but atleast I wouldn't have to know it
I can't cry anyway
There are no tears left inside
It's like my sorrow is too much to express
But would others cry
What about my parents, my friends, my one true love, would they cry
My parents wouldn't shed a tear
I have to friends to shed tears for me
For me, there exists no one true love
There is no lover to shed a tear for me
I was scared I'd hurt someone, but there is no one to hurt
If there is no one to shed a tear for me, than why should I shed a tear for myself
Hating You.You will never be sorry enoughHating You.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Why should I accept that?
All that's left is nightmares
Blood should be leaking from my mind
You tortured it enough so
Why do I feel numb?
Should it be this way?
Was I really that dumb?
I really do hate you
You're the horror of my past
You're the chill that haunts the room
You are the scars upon my skin
What more damage could you cause?
Maybe you don't deserve this
But actually, I know you do.
Poem: Call MeCall MePoem: Call Me3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
There’s a little spark
Of a feeling I thought was gone
I’ve held all my breath in
Until I thought I would die
I held onto every word you spoke
And, just like a fool,
I thought I could get over you
Sometimes I take the long way
And hope that when I get home
It’s all just a nightmare
And I’m not alone
Pretend you’re not gone
and moving on
I know it’s wrong
To hold on to this
It’s not comforting
To know what could’ve been
I know the truth
I know it hurts
But I know there’s nothing left
Giving up is not giving in
Call me when you fall in love
So I can move on with my life
So when you find the one,
Who I’ve been thinking I was all this time
When you fall in love
First LoveI don't know.First Love3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I don't understand.
I don't know if I want to.
I saw you today,
but you weren't really there.
I heard you today,
but I know you were far away.
I almost touched you,
but I realized the hand I grabbed for was not yours.
It's been so long since I saw you.
It's been so long since we spoke.
It's been so long since I felt your presence.
First Love, where have you gone?
First Love, why did you go?
First Love, I don't know.
I don't know if I want to know.
I don't know if I want to understand.
I don't know if you can hear me,
But I know it wouldn't matter if you could.
Silent LoversI look at you, likeSilent Lovers3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
a lover from a different
But you were never mine.
And all the secrets
we kept away,
that were hidden for
days, are now nothing
but treasured memories.
Even when I closed
my eyes, and couldn't make
you were still around.
Even through the silence,
you knew what to say.
It was magical, just
you and me.
Depressed GirlI'm tired of live in a world full of cruel, selfish and hypocritical peopleDepressed Girl1 year ago in Emotional More Like This
I do not want to live in a world like that, I can no more
Was stupid of my part believe that one day would find my place in society and in the world
But they reject me and treat me very cruelly, that made me a person who all his life will bring a great emptiness and pain in his heart
I opened and gave them my heart into small pieces, until they left me with nothing
I put aside my problems and needs, to put theirs first
I put aside my happiness, to put theirs first
And the only thing I received was incomprehension, scorn, rejection, ignorance and the most painful loneliness
Love is a privilege that I can not enjoy
And I feel great pain to think that maybe I was not born to be loved
¡Damn all those pushed me and trampled me mercilessly!
They think I have no feelings, but before of this I had many feelings, but now they are dying with the passage of time
Now I have only feelings of self-hatred for having give