MaybeYour body has been used
By all of those who are broken.
The ones who are trying to repair
Their own wounds with
No regards towards your own.
You are a hand for him to hold
While he thinks of her
And tries to forget the emptiness
And the fact that he is alone.
For a brief moment while
He is inside of you,
You feel as if you are the
Missing half of the whole,
And it is perfect.
He recites memorized lines
And you wonder who else
Has heard them before you,
But you tell yourself that
You're the first anyway.
Your body has been used
By all of those who are broken,
And you begin to wish that
You could be loved once,
And loved most.
When I'm GoneI want to tell you something although IWhen I'm Gone10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Don’t know why I even try.
You were never the type who liked
To listen to what was on my mind,
But I’ll just keep talking anyway.
Maybe this time I’ll get through.
Here’s the thing:
I want to be the reason why
You can’t sleep at night,
Or the reason you don’t eat.
I want you to feel that twist
In your stomach when you see
Something that reminds you of me.
I want you to know the
Feeling of a heart that has been torn.
It beats in your chest, but it still isn't
Enough to convince you that you’re alive.
I want you to feel emptiness every
Time you realize that I’m not there,
And that it is because of you.
Believe me when I say I don’t
Miss you, and that I never could have
Possibly been in love with you.
I want you to see what you've done,
And actually mean it when you say you’re sorry.
I want so many things that will never happen
All because you were better than I was.
I Can't Hear You AnymoreThe clouds are heavy tonight,I Can't Hear You Anymore9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
And I am suffocating,
Choking on my own words
As they fly from my mouth.
You never cared about yourself,
And after your death that
Became hard to think about.
(But I do anyway.)
I suddenly find myself missing
The years we had spent together
And how spider webs would form in
The corners of your eyes when you smiled.
But the thing is that I can’t hear you anymore.
I can’t remember the sound
Of your voice or the feeling of
Your hands as they touched my lips.
You once told me that home
Is where you lie,
But I hate it here, and
I hate living with these ghosts.
I Am WishingI am wishing I wasn't alone,I Am Wishing1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
That my brain would shut off,
That people would listen
When I whisper the undeniable truth.
But if no one listens
Then who the hell cares?
I am wishing that you were here
To smother my nightmares
And make me feel like I am safe.
If they can't see what I see
When I close my eyes
Then is it really there?
I am wishing that you still loved me,
That you would feel more for me
Than you do for her,
But I will never be good enough.
If you hold me and say everything is fine
Will it be a lie?
And I just wish you would say something
Because the silence screams
More truth than I can take.
And I just miss the sound of your voice like crazy.
But if I can't feel my own heart beating in my chest
Does that mean I am no longer living?
I don't know
I'm Still HereI am screaming again andI'm Still Here1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Throwing my fists into my mattress.
I am laying here trying so hard
To be something more than this.
My sheets are crumpled from
Being horribly wide awake
And restlessly unconscious,
But they still smell like you.
And it is achingly cruel.
I don't believe I will die,
But I do believe in reckless behavior
Because as hard as I try I
Will never be good enough for you.
My hands don't fit in yours
But I keep trying to force them to.
And I know you will let me
Because I am weak and I
Will undress when you ask me to,
But I really hope you don't.
I am screaming again and
It shakes my bones.
I scream until my voice breaks
And there is nothing left.
I am hollow.
I am empty.
I am too far gone.
I Might Need YouI think I might need you,I Might Need You1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
But here's the thing:
I'm spinning out of control
And careening off the side of the road.
I pretend to hold on to the wheel,
But we both know I'll crash.
It wasn't a fair fight.
If you would listen,
If you would actually listen,
You would hear me whispering
"I want you."
"I need you."
And if you would listen,
If you would actually listen,
You would know that
We are horribly wrong
For each other,
And that my words mean nothing.
But what's to stop us from
Sharing our sheets anyway?
We sleep folded together
Like slips of origami paper
Pressed so tightly that
We could not possibly split.
I think I might need you,
But here's the thing:
I really wish I didn't.
I wish it was you,
And not me.
We Will Never BeI met you on August 18th of 2008.We Will Never Be1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I remember how hot it was in the classroom
That day and how your eyes widened with confusion
As I sat down next to you.
I will never forget those eyes.
You loved Mondays and dreaded Fridays.
I thought you were crazy and you told
Me that the only reason was so you
Could see me in school.
I still thought you were crazy.
We would do our math assignments on the
Playground and talk about our lives.
We were so different, but you always
Insisted that we were absolutely perfect.
I wish I would have known how right you were.
I miss you so much that I can't sleep.
But I have to keep moving because you
Promised me that we would be again, remember?
You held my hand for a second too long and
Told me that you would see me tomorrow.
And I believed you because your eyes had that same
Warm look in them that you always got when
You would tell me something important.
I've seen you three times since then, and we
Have walked away from each other
PlayHer green circlesPlay1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
open wide and
her pitch black
that your face
is close to her face-
it is close enough,
and that she
also said: "only
the hands", but
you chose to
it feels better
this way and
what is wrong
with a hedon
who wants to be
and loud music.
I Love You, In A WayI love you in a way that keepsI Love You, In A Way8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Me from sleeping at night,
In a way that crushes my heart
Whenever I see her.
It makes it hard for me to write anything
Because I love you and
Hate you all at the same time,
And all I’m doing is confusing everyone.
I want you to love me
All night long just one time,
And I want you to make me not
Regret it the very next day.
I want to throw my arms around
You whenever I see you,
And remember what it was
Like to feel cared for.
Your bed isn’t comfortable anymore,
Nor is your body,
But you still give me the best
Sleep I’ve ever had.
I hope someday I will be younger,
And that I will be out of love with you.
I hope someday you will be older,
And that you will understand.
AgingWhen I walk on the curbsAging1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
of downtown, I can turn my head
and see my reflection
in the glass.
In the windows that stand guard
against the smoke
and the rain
and the winds.
I can see myself,
flickering between panes
as I move down the streets.
I can see myself,
waiting to grow old
and learning how to remember.
Butterfly/RavenSo we are sitting on one of thoseButterfly/Raven1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
uncomfortably tight bus stop benches
and we've just met,
but she's rather pretty
with her artificially dark hair
and naturally dark eyes.
I tell her a story about my past
and a joke about drugs
and she's laughing-
she says: you sound like you want
my boyfriend says he would never
wouldn't you want a girl
And I say no, I would rather
have a butterfly's proboscus
that I could unravel and slide down your throat
in order to better taste your nectar.
The little bench is suddenly too uncomfortable
for her and my laughing
probably doesn't help either.
I should have seenI tryI should have seen1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
And I try
To be better
I try to be perfect
I want no fault
All for you
I only wish to be everything
And give you everything
I didn't know
I was hurting you
Again and again
You told me I was fine
There's nothing wrong
I should have understood
And accepted myself
We all have faults
It doesn't mean there's something wrong
I just wanted to reach the impossible
I wanted to be perfect
I should have seen
You love me
Drink DeepWe are not yetDrink Deep1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
dead, but the
have you believe
that we are dying.
We have rehearsed
the methods of our
We make muses
from nature and
from each other.
We assume, like the
canyon's high-water mark,
that the floods
will not come.
Who am I
to say that
this is false,
that we have
that hold us apart-
(we are ever so slightly
levitating off the ground
and from each other.)
And the streets protest
by rehearsing the methods
of our end.
When our blood
turns to alcohol
and the first thing
they see of us
is the white
of our bones.
BreakableBe a little more careful with meBreakable1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I told you how frail I am
I bruise easily, I crumble so fast
I am still so breakable
I wish you'd understand
That I am just awaking
Starting new, all naked and hurt
With no secrets
With no regrets
But you never want to accept
That I am not who I used to be
You just never forget
That I try to let go this grudge
By facing my fears
My greatest fear is you
I can't stay out of your life
Unless you let me go
I can't stop seeing you as enemy
Unless you talk this out with me
I am so tired of playing the game
But I never manage to write my own rules
I just stay in a corner of my deranged mind
And enjoy the abuse of being a tool
Life is so heavy lately
Why do you threaten to make it worse?
Why don't you accept that you are wrong too?
And that you deserve the pain you get
It has to have a reason
And honey, you are the reason yourself
Maybe if you'd agree with the truth
You'd be free and stop hurting those
Those few unrealistic friends
This hate and anger
I know it
ConfidenceThe mirror said nice things about me today.Confidence1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
But tomorrow it will probably be biased,
And strongly opinionated,
To say otherwise.
Sometimes, when I'm sadSometimes, when I'm sadSometimes, when I'm sad6 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I remember that one time,
All I had to worry about was
If the bubbles I had blown, were about to
Sometimes, when I'm sad
I remember that one time,
I began to worry about the day that
My childhood would simply
Sometimes, when I'm sad
I remember that some day,
When I'm sitting with my husband
In the old old house... my days will simply
And that day,
The day when my heartbeat is
The day when my breath
Truly gets taken away.
That's the day
When my worries, my concerns, my fears...
ListenCan you hear meListen1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Listen to my cries
Feel my pain
See your neglect
Understand what you've put me through
Hear me roar
My anger bouncing off the wall
My sadness ringing in
Your deaf ears
Can't you hear me
Do you just not care
Listen to me
Don't walk away
I'm not finished
If only you'd hear me
If only I could make you see
Why won't you listen
Why don't you care
Do you not see the tears
You're the one that's made to care
It's your job
Why can't you just listen
Maybe you can't hear me
I'm just not loud enough
What if...What if I told you I don't know?What if...1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I don't know if I should go...
Would you be kind enough to say
"Please don't go away"?
If someone makes you sad,
You can bet I'll be mad.
I would go the extra mile,
Just to see you smile.
Sometimes I feel so down,
I'm happy when you're around.
Everytime you walk away,
I'm left with so much to say...
One thing is true,
I love you...
Send Me the Raintoday, they're all talking about the fires.Send Me the Rain1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
the people on TV, the voices on the radio,
the mouths that open and whisper
and softly touch tongues. even the sky is
revealing black plumes of smoke,
flaunting shameless and seductive curves.
the rain's been too dry and the lightning
isn't wet enough, panic is
rising out of control in this
burning city. that's
we have a crisis on
our hands- the balloons are
running out of air and even
the experts don't really know why,
and on top of those sinking rubber toys
my soul is losing moisture
faster than the crackling grass under the duress of flame.
i'm starting to see the subtle luscious contours
i might not exactly be news-worthy
but if i catch, then
the forest might too.
i'm considered a reasonable loss, however.
they heard it might storm tomorrow. and everybody knows
that means they'll be safe-
because they all talk about it.
it almost stormed-
the sky spat and then
thought better of it,
EveShe wore a galaxy on her rib-cage,Eve6 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
settled high upon her breast,
when I kissed her I could taste it;
the currency of her success.
alone in my cara shaky, frantic handalone in my car1 year ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
for a splash of orange
against the old, tan plastic
covered with ash.
fingers curl around my lighter,
removing the bright color
from my vision
that should be on the road
watching the headlights
my eyes cross
steering with my knees
while shaky fingers cup
the wavering flame
bouncing on the tip
of an orange lighter
that once belonged to you.
compromisewe'll stretch the seats back --compromise10 months ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
in this rain tonight.
Christmas Evethinking of you,Christmas Eve1 year ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
as i'm watching --
the snow fall gently,
on this holy night
as the wine bottle empties,
turning it to rain --
three glasses down
and I'm ready for the flood.
RearrangeI don't understand itRearrange1 year ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
When you're talking to my face
I don't accept it
That you treat me like shit
But this is what we have become
We have gone too far
From pride we have fallen
Let's rearrange this and build It up
I don't understand when
You're treating me like shit
I don't want to hurt you
But I'm falling for your tricks
How did we become this
How did we lose all hope
Lets rise from the ashes
Let's rearrange this and built it up
So now we have walked a thousand miles
But we haven't learned
We crossed the corners of the earth
But this just won't work
Why do we keep hoping
This has gone far enough
Let's watch this crumble
I won't even try to help
If you fall down
Don't come crawling to me
I've moved on
And now I can finally breath
Now I'm free from you