Weight Loss PlanA man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.Weight Loss Plan5 years ago in Humor More Like This
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her.
A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."
Well, he's out the d
Mother in the NightMother is sitting at her sewing machine,Mother in the Night10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
its built in light cascading
in a warm wash around her.
The soft orange light illuminates
the walls and edges
but not the shadow of her back.
She is sitting on the floor
at her low work table.
Her silhouette is like soft stone
obscuring the glaring morning sun;
I cannot see beyond her,
and I cannot see her face,
but I am thankful she is there.
The low soft hum and tick
of her white bodied Singer
plays like a lullaby
from a music box missing teeth.
She stirs suddenly.
Looking at the clock,
and turns to look at us,
her sleeping children.
Only turning her head, still blocking the light
with her body,
in the silence and shadow
it feels like she is smiling.
She turns off her machine,
kisses our foreheads,
and in the dark
slowly slips away.
Bitter SweetWhisper sweetly,Bitter Sweet1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
soft like silken honey.
Your words ever venomous,
glimmer like sugar,
itty bitty sugar crystals,
bending light as they
pass between your lips.
Last to leaveThe park is dark tonight while I'm drinking,Last to leave1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
the shadows of friends have long retreated.
Bright orange city lights tinge my thinking
Lying in the grass alone, defeated.
My bottle now empty, discarded glass,
no longer a den for spirits and mirth
sequesters the moon on the dying grass;
an icy blue light for unworthy earth.
The vodka I drank still teases my tongue
while cold night air penetrates my clothing.
Salty bitter fire between each lung
Keeps me warm from the cold of self loathing.
The park is spinning as I try to leave,
but I fall back down to my knees and heave.
An Island in the Middle of the OceanClose your eyes,An Island in the Middle of the Ocean10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
and I'll be with you.
I will keep the world
at bay with my body,
so you can rest,
in the cove of my chest.
I'll brush your cheek,
with my lips,
like a warm passing breeze,
and whisper in your ear,
like soft waves
lapping at the sand.
In the shelter of my arms,
and when you are ready,
you may float away.
I will always be here,
in the middle of an ocean,
with a harbor just for you.
ItadakimasuYukino had never really noticed the small, compacted sushi restaurant that sat between the two towering apartment buildings. Every Sunday morning, Yukino walked down past the apartments and the restaurant, wearing her Sunday best. Although she never planned to go anywhere specific, she enjoyed the brisk morning walks. The walks were a beloved past time of hers, ever since she had started her university career last month. Today, Yukino sported a white dress with a light blue floral pattern, with a white hat tied with a silk ribbon to match. As she passed the sushi restaurant, she took a look inside through the window. Smiling, she then continued on with her walk, thinking to herself that it might be fun to eat there later that day.Itadakimasu7 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
During her walk, Yukino went all about town, looking throughout all the stores and the public parks found within the city. Being unfamiliar with the place, Yukino soon lost track of the time, and quickly rushed home late that night. However, before she could
PrologueTo the average person, life goes on without much trouble. People are born, grow up, live life, and die. That is the cycle of every living creature on this earth. That's how it's supposed to be.Prologue4 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
In the twenty-first century, scientists are working on better technologies such as how to cure cancer and other various diseases, inventors work on developing the latest machines to make our lives easier.
Magic isn't supposed to exist. For the imagination of a human it exists in entertainment such as movies, cartoons, and comic strips. But they only know one side of the coin. Magic isn't supposed to exist, so for most, it doesn't.
But it does exist.
I was born in the United States, the current year being 2056. Technologies such as desktop computers, laptop computers, land lines, and CDs are all things of the past with the industry being as advanced as it is. It's the same for most countries of the world. Life seems good, right?
People like me live separated from the rest of the world, simply for
Cardinal Pretty Cure Chapter 1Cardinal Pretty Cure Chapter 19 months ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I swear I’m not crazy… but I’m pretty sure that stuffed animals are talking to me.
Alright, let me explain that a little. I was walking to school, like a teenager would in the morning, and I get this weird feeling as I reach the gates – like a spider crawling up my back. Next thing I know, everything is frozen in place except the cherry blossoms, two stuffed animals flew down in front of the class assignment board, and I now stand here staring at them in shock after they began talking to me.
They’re babbling about some “legendary warrior” stuff. I’m honestly too shocked to even care. What’s going on here? What happened to everyone? Did these mutant teddies make everything all frozen-like? What if they’re gonna try to hurt me?! That might not be rational, but what is at this point?
“You. Human. Are you listening?” The blue thing asks me. So they actually are talking to me… huh. Well I guess there
Exodus of Expectations 013Exodus of Expectations 0131 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Exodus of Expectations
BOOK 1 Prayers
PART 3 Past Impressions/Present Amnesia
CHAPTER 13 Missing Faces and Conjecture
Timothy Vincent Alexander
AS I LIVED THROUGH AMIL MEMORIES I would realize how little I actually knew of Karima's life before America. That said what I knew was potent, horrid, and stark enough to give me a deep impression of what had shaped her. The earliest of her childhood memories I know of is of explosions going off all around her as easily as rain falls in some place she thought of as religious and peaceful before it was assaulted by the terrorism of war. She never specified if the explosions were due to Russians, Mujahedeen, or the Taliban - for her it was beside the point. Running away for her life with her parents and her first and older brother I know only she started in Afghanistan and ended up in Pakistan. That broad stroke of her past alone was enough to wound me into sympathy for her. Arguably those explosions were the g
Porcelain DollPorcelain Doll1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
There was a girl, so very lost,
She gives her heart, only to have it smashed.
People try to help her find the shards,
But they never can make it whole.
It become mangled and cold,
Protected by a wall, imprisoned.
She locks herself away, to cry out in pain.
So sick of being broken and discarded.
A porcelain doll, so fragile.
That is her, a doll on a shelf,
Worn out and old, dropped so often.
Look closely and see the gaps.
Words never spoken,
Coldness ever present,
Look closely and see the gaps.
Forever trapped within her own heart
She is the porcelain doll on the shelf.
Never moving, always hiding,
Unable to speak or shed a tear,
Stuck on a shelf, collecting dust.
This is her life, forever and eternal,
The cold cruel life is hers.
The Porcelain Doll.
Sonadow One-shot Today was a very big day for the people of Mobius. Why you may ask? Well today is the wedding day of our two heroes: Sonic and Shadow. The people of Mobious will be there. right now all the people are sitting in their Seats, waiting for the ceremony to begin. Meanwhile, our lovely couple are getting ready for their wedding day. The boys are dealing with Shadow, while the girls are dealing with Sonic.Sonadow One-shot1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Om my gosh you look so gorgeous!" said one of the girls. "Thanks Rouge, do you think Shadow will think same too?" asked Sonic."Don't worry hun, he'll love the dress." Just as Rouge said that Amy came running in with tears in her eyes. "Is it true Sonic?" "W-what?" "Is it true that you and Shadow are getting married?!" Yelled Amy. "Y-yes we are getting married." said Sonic. Amy ran up to Sonic and pulled him into a huge.....hug? Sonic was in complete shock of this. "I'm so proud of you little brother, I really am. Why didn't you tell me before?" "I thought
JerkReally?Jerk7 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
You had to say that.
That wasn’t very nice, Bob.
I feel like flipping crying, that was so bad.
I can’t believe you said that.
I mean, it’s true, but...
The Bite of the Darkness: Chapter 4I wok up betwen Damien and Seth. WAT HAV I DONE!!!??1?!? I jumped up and ran out of the cave. I took a walk and started talking to myselfThe Bite of the Darkness: Chapter 41 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"What am I doing.... How could I?? Damiens my boifriend... But Seth...." I fell down and screamed "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!?!?!??!????" I cried for 2 hours and cut myself so deep I almost died. I walked backk to the cave and Damien rushed up to me and hugged me. He teared up emotionfully and I did to. "Where were you?? We looked everywhere!!" I dramtically cried into his shoulder. I looked up and saw Seth behind Damien. I'm so confused I thought. WTF IS GOING ON????/ I-I love them both . We packed up our stuff from inside the cave and started heading back on the trale to TEVL's castle. IT was realyly akward between us. Damien and Seth were glaring at each other. And I'm in the midle. It started raining so we ran to find shleter. WE took cover underneeth a tree. Seth looked up and shouted
We looked up and their was a small house. WE ran t
Moleman9000's ERBs #3: Sally Acorn vs. Mega ManMoleman9000's ERBs #3: Sally Acorn vs. Mega Man7 months ago in Comedy More Like This
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!!
Turn up the Beat and crank up the Bass,
So I can Mega–bust a Cap–com in this royal brat's face!
I'll call up Rush, Auto, Eddie and Roll
For an assault that'll decimate your Knothole!
I have so many games, it's hard to keep tally,
While your show, Sally, never even got a real finale!
What am I even fighting you for? Where the Hell is Sonic?
He should be my opponent; you're not iconic!
The reasons I'm superior are too many to list;
In the original games, you don't f**king exist!
You're the Mary Sue creation of a bunch of stupid DiCks,
And I'd sooner be defeated by Sandy Cheeks!
You're a mistake that should be treated with contempt.
I'd call you a Zero, but that would be a compliment.
I'll forever remain in the gaming hall of fame.
SEGA should have let you die back in "Endgame"!
Was that supposed to
2pEnglandxReader: I wanna Play a Game Part112pEnglandxReader: I wanna Play a Game Part116 months ago in Short Stories More Like This
2pEnglandxReader: I wanna Play a Game Part11
~~Previously on I wanna play a game~~
"Hey,are you sure you will be able to drive,you look really tired" you said getting into the car along with Alexia,"Actually,I'm not tired at all,I just look like this" she said as she started the car up,when she started to drive,the car came to a bump,and it felt like she ran over something. You looked out the back of the car and saw Al getting up. "Ha,dumb ass got a taste of his own medicine" you said with a smirk as she continued to drive.
~~now back to the story~~
It wouldn't be to long until you finally reached the airport,but you knew you wouldn't be safe until you got on the plane or would you even be safe on the plane. You knew you weren't going to go back to (Country Capital),(Country) since you left you wallet at that mansion and it had information about you and your address. You were feeling a little drowsy and thought you would take a nap until yo
Yes MasterOne day there were two hedgehogs, Sonic and Shadow. They decided to have a bet. Well Sonic wanted to do a bet, I don't know what, but who cares? The bet was supposed to be challenging but lasted for ten seconds. And here's why.Yes Master1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
Sonic: Yo Shadow lets have a bet. You can't say What or How ok.
Sonic: Aw come on, at least one little round, it won't kill you.
Shadow: Listen faker, I don't need to waste time with u.
Sonic: you're just scared that you will lose to me.
Shadow: I'm not scared to do a bet with you. I'll even beat you the second we start.
Sonic: pfffft yeah, like I'm gonna lose to you.
Shadow: Oh really. Fine I'll play this bet. So, what are the consequences?
Sonic: Well, *smirks* the loser has to do what the winner says for six months, without complaints.
Shadow: Hmph sounds good to me so let's start, let's see how long you can last.
Sonic: you're on! Ready......Go!
There was a ten second silence until...
Shadow: I wonder how good you'
Epic PoemEpic Poem2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
There was a bat.
not a bat bat
but a bat
wolf and girl book2 of bears moonwolf and girl book2 of bears moon2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
WOLFS MOON !!!!!!!!!
a day as queen !!!!!!! CHAPTER 1 > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9-Lhhout-U&feature=my_liked_videos&list=LLOo_CowbuozljWimNywOEzg
a guess i am your spirt .
i guess you are lucy said while she was sitting on her throne
so your a wolf she smiled
well of course your lady .oh well then
( remember shes only 11)
CROWD LEAVE she said with a big crackle .
as they all left she walked down in the dress that she had wore that same day when her mom died ( suzy ) aka that was today .
well edmund . she smiled .
show me . show you what ? he relayed .
how you change of course . no i . i .i cant .
WHY ! cause your not ready .
VERY WELL , LEAVE ! as he ran .
CHAPTER 2 as she began to walk down many people said , may we get you a new dress .
yes she relayed and began to change .
as she came out with a cape and her chopped up red hair. she ran up and said , I MUST GO TO THE FOREST .
all respected that and bowed and returned to there work.
as she ran
HVW BATTLE 2Darksoul started runing and lost sight of Moondust. He quickly stopped and looked around. Oh no. Darksoul was walking in a circle, but was distracted when another cat started to come towards him. Darksoul got in a fighting stance and saw the cat was Dipspot. The she-cat went for his neck, but his neck was barely protected by his fluffy neck. Darksoul then went for her and soon the she-cat fell. Darksoul stared at the body at his feet and started panicking. W-what did I do. Is she still alive?! Darksoul's eye's widened and he kept staring at the she-cats body. Gladly the body was still breathing and Darksoul, sighed a bit but he was caught off gard.HVW BATTLE 28 months ago in Sketches More Like This
Sunstar faced him and Darksoul eye's widened even more.
"Are you ready?" Sunstar meowed.
Darksoul nodded and tried to look serious like he didn't care that he almost killed a cat.
Defending with Tooth and Claw "Hah...hah..." Raccoonshine panted as she dashed around the area near the SunClan border. She couldn't keep on running forever though she swung her head around to see her friend Moondust on her right. Wishing Coldheart was there to support her, she ran on. Coldheart had left to join SunClan. She was horribly wounded by many fights, but had just kept on fighting, she wasn't going to go down easily. "We need to split up. I think our target should be Duststorm," She mewed to her friend, "distract him."Defending with Tooth and Claw7 months ago in Short Stories More Like This
Moondust nodded and sped straight off towards the warrior, hoping to attract his attention so Raccoonshine could sneak in an attack. Of course Duststorm jumped to attack, always ready to defend his Clan. Raccoonshine dashed over to his backside and raked her claws down it. The warrior yelped in pain. Suddenly a shape flew out of the bushes and bowled Raccoonshine over. It was...
"Coldheart!" Raccoonshine yelped in suprise. She shook her head and tried to throw him
DepartureDeparture1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Friends, must this chord be broke and we depart,
And head our ways to lands that we have sought?
Have all the times and fights that we have fought
Been nothing more than whims of our lone hearts?
Why must it be, for we have not impart
The love and strength of memory long wrought.
This touch is but the fleeting leaf of thought
That falls away like drops of deadened light.
But I fear not this leave, for lighted day
Shall come again, and draw us in the Light
Of which we pray, and name it Glory's name.
So let us not be in the Night of Nights
And let the Muse of light say its say
Of where we go and where we part in ways.
My Scars Prove You Wrong (original song)Scars on the surface, on my skinMy Scars Prove You Wrong (original song)4 months ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Look at the wounds to know, where i've been
Throwing me against, my own walls
But I've learned to fly, when i fall
And I know my scars are only on the surface
And I know that I, I, I am not worthless
No matter how they break me, i'm unbreakable
No matter how they hurt me, i'm invincible
You know a heart
Keeps on bleeding
When it breaks it goes on beating
I, I'll keep on keeping on
'Cause my scars prove you, wrong.