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Mlp Thebadtoothgallows by dm29THE BAD TOOTH GALLOWS
An MLPFIM Fan-script written by Julian Yeo
Twitter: @judacris

SCENE: Golden Oaks Library/Twilight's Treehouse
Twilight Sparkle analyses muffins on her desk. Measuring each out for weight and height. She records her findings, only to find one muffin missing.

Twilight: "Spike, did you see the muffin I had on the desk?"

Cut to Spike, visibly having something in his mouth.

Twilight: "Spike. Did you eat that muffin?"
Spike: "Maybe."
Twilight: "Oh, Spike. I needed that for my very delicate research!"
Spike: "And I needed that as my very delicate dessert! Why are you doing research on muffins anyway?"
Twilight: "These aren't just ordinary muffins, Spike. These are muffins from Sugarcube Corner. I'm trying to find out what makes them so very delicious among ponies in Ponyville."
Spike: "Why don't you just ask the Cakes, or Pinkie Pie?"
Twilight: "I'm sure the Cakes have some secret family recipe they can't reveal, and I can't get a fair response from Pinkie Pie since she likes everything from Sugarcube Corner. Besides, doing research and coming up with my own findings is fun!"
Spike: "Delicious fun." (Spike scarfs down another muffin, to Twilight's annoyance) "Hey, do you think you could experiment on brownies next?"

Twilight rolls her eyes and sighs.

(Opening theme sequence)

Act One
SCENE: Sugarcube Corner
Twilight Sparkle walks into the confectionary, up to Mrs. Cake, who is manning the till.

Twilight: "Hi, Mrs. Cake."
Mrs. Cake: "Oh, hello. Twilight. What can I do for you today?"
Twilight: "I'd like another batch of your delightful muffins, please."
Mrs. Cake: "Oh, I'm afraid we're out of muffins for the moment, Twilight, but it won't take long for Pinkie to have a fresh batch ready if you'd like to wait."
Twilight: "Not a problem. I'll go see if Pinkie could use some help."

Twilight heads to the kitchen to see Pinkie Pie hard at work on a new batch of muffins. She stirs the batter, fills the trays and tosses them skilfully into the oven.

Twilight: "Hey, Pinkie Pie."
Pinkie Pie: "Oh, hey Twilight. Here for another batch of muffins?"
Twilight: "Yup. Mrs. Cake said you were whipping up another batch, so I'm here to see if I could help."
Pinkie Pie: "Oh, it's alright, Twilight. (Pinkie brings a fresh batch of cooled muffins onto the counter) I'm almost done here. I just have to do a... (hesitant) taste... test on these muffins before they go out."

Pinkie Pie picks up a muffin to sample as Twilight looks on. Pinkie Pie takes an unusually feeble nibble. Twilight gives Pinkie a puzzled look. A suddenly insecure Pinkie attempts a bigger bite out of the muffin. Pinkie Pie winces, mouth full of muffin.

Twilight: "Pinkie Pie, are you alright?"
Pinkie Pie: (speaking with her mouth full) "Mm-hmm. These are some (she winces) good muffins."

Pinkie Pie winces some more. Tears well up in her eyes.

Twilight: "Pinkie Pie, are you sure you're okay?"

Pinkie does a weak "mm-hmm". An unconvinced Twilight moves up to her, and gently taps Pinkie's cheek. Pinkie winces again, strongly this time.

Twilight: "Hmm... Pinkie, could you open your mouth for me?"

Pinkie does so, mouth still full of muffin.

Twilight: "Swallow first, Pinkie."

Pinkie swallows the muffin with difficulty and reopens her mouth, but Pinkie Pie winces once more and refuses to keep it open.

Twilight: "Oh, Pinkie! I think you have a bad tooth!"
Pinkie Pie: (moves away from Twilight) "I know! I've had it since Thursday!"
Twilight: "You need to get it seen by a dentist!"
Pinkie Pie: "Are you crazy?! Do you know what a dentist does to ponies with a bad tooth!?"
Twilight: "They-"
Pinkie Pie: (interrupts) "They'll send you to the Bad Tooth Gallows! They'll chain you up and get the bad tooth out through the most painful way POSSIBLE!"
Twilight: "They'll what? Pinkie, I don't think dentists-"
Pinkie Pie: (interrupts again) "Oh, I know you're worried, but I'm never going to the dentist. The Bad Tooth Gallows would be too much for me. Have your muffins, Twilight, while you still can. It's too late for Pinkie."

Pinkie Pie becomes forlorn, fumbling with a lone muffin, while a helpless Twilight looks on, before her face lights up with one of her signature ideas.

Twilight: "I have an idea! Why don't I help you check out that tooth so we don't have to go to the dentist? Would that help?"
Pinkie Pie: "I guess that would be okay. Do you have a spell you could use?"
Twilight: "Not exactly, but I have books on the subject. Those are just as good, right?"
Pinkie Pie: (rolls eyes unconfidently towards herself) "If you say so..."

SCENE: Golden Oaks Library/Twilight's Treehouse
Twilight and Pinkie Pie enter Twilight's Treehouse. Spike is carrying books around.

Spike: "Hey, Pinkie Pie. Say Twilight, where did you say you wanted these books again?"
Twilight: (ignores question) "Perfect, Spike. (lifts book from top of the stack) This is exactly what I needed!"

Spike gives off a puzzled look as Pinkie and Twilight trots past him. Twilight opens and flips through the book.

Twilight: "Here. 'Chapter Seven: Pouts and Grouts' (Twilight skims the chapter) Hmm, I could do that... (continues reading) Ooh, I have one of those. (continues reading) Well, this doesn't seem too hard. We just have to do one teensy thing."

A transition occurs. The camera focuses on Twilight as the background visibly changes from the Treehouse to Twilight's underground laboratory. We then see Pinkie Pie strapped to an operating table propped upright.

Twilight: "Perfect."
Pinkie Pie: (concerned) "Are you sure about this, Twilight?"
Twilight: "Of course I'm sure, Pinkie. Now hold still. This will be over quick."

A ray of magic is shot from Twilight's horn. Pinkie flinches and the beam gets reflected off the metal operating table, bouncing off the ceiling before hitting one of the laboratory's wooden counters, creating a hole where it struck. Cut to Pinkie and Twilight, who both have a stunned look.

Twilight: "Oh-kay. Let's try that one more time, but it's really important you stay still, Pinkie."

Pinkie Pie whimpers, helplessly fastened to the operating table. Twilight's horn warms up again to ready another bolt of magic. Cut to Pinkie Pie's face, pupils shrinking in fear, cut to Twilight's horn, cut to Pinkie's eyes, cut to a close-up of Twilight's horn. Pinkie Pie, who can no longer handle the tension, pops out of her restraints and briefly floats in the air, screaming:


before bolting out of the laboratory.

Twilight: "Pinkie, WAIT! Oh, what have I done?"

(end of act one)

Act Two
SCENE: Ponyville
Pinkie Pie, who freaked out and ran off, has apparently gone into hiding, evident by a guilty-feeling Twilight's search attempt around town.

Twilight: (looking around) "Pinkie Pie! ... Pinkie Pie! Oh, where could she be?"

She continues searching around the streets of Ponyville, calling out "Pinkie Pie" as she goes, eventually meeting Applejack and Rainbow Dash by AJ's apple stand.

Applejack: "Howdy, Twilight. Something wrong?"
Twilight: "Unfortunately, yes. See, I think Pinkie Pie has a bad tooth, and I tried to help by using magic to ease it out, but the stress of my experimentation was too much for Pinkie and she ran off!"
Rainbow Dash: "She ran off?"
Twilight: "Yes, and I have no idea where she is! Have you two seen her?"
Applejack: "Not recently, but Rainbow Dash and I will be happy to help you find her, right Rainbow?"
Rainbow Dash: "Yep! Just leave it to us!"

Twilight and Applejack split off as a search party while Rainbow Dash performs an aerial search flying solo. They all look through various locations at every corner of Ponyville, still calling out "Pinkie Pie" as they go.

Cut to Rainbow Dash, who is hovering beside a tree.

Rainbow Dash: "Pinkie Pie... (scritches mane) Where could she be?"

And Rainbow Dash, giving out a "whoa!", is suddenly pulled into the tree by a pink hoof. Rainbow Dash is slightly dazed, and Pinkie Pie is revealed to be hiding in an inconspicuous treehouse atop that very tree.

Rainbow Dash: (dazed) "Ugh..." (sudden realisation) "Pinkie Pie! There you are!"
Pinkie Pie: "Yes, you found me. Or rather, I dragged you in here. So technically I found you, which is actually kinda silly since you were looking for me."
Rainbow Dash: "Why are you hiding up here? We've been looking all over for you!"
Pinkie Pie: "Because I'm too afraid to get my tooth fixed."
Rainbow Dash: "Why?"
Pinkie Pie: "Haven't you heard about the Bad Tooth Gallows?"
Rainbow Dash: "The what?"
Pinkie Pie: "It's the place where ponies with bad teeth are sent! They'll get my bad tooth out but the pain will be so great, I will never taste anything ever AGAIN! I'll lose my job at Sugarcube Corner! (suspenseful sting) My life will be ruined!"

Silence falls upon a distraught Pinkie Pie and a visibly unimpressed Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash: "Pinkie Pie, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. There's no such thing as the Bad Tooth Gallows."
Pinkie Pie: "There... Isn't?"
Rainbow Dash: (sighs) "Look, Pinkie, I had a bad tooth once, and I was afraid too. But I got it checked by a dentist and it turned out to be nothing serious. And by the end of the week, it got all better! I actually had nothing to worry about!"
Pinkie Pie: "R-really?"
Rainbow Dash: "Really. It's a better idea to have that checked, Pinkie. Trust me."

Pinkie Pie maintains her concerned look, before she's convinced and says:

Pinkie Pie: "Okay, I will. Thanks, Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow Dash, pleased for Pinkie Pie, grins.

Rainbow Dash: "C'mon. (prepares to crawl out of the treehouse) No one else knows we're up here. Twilight and AJ are probably still looking for you. Let's find them and let them know you're okay."

SCENE: Ponyville Town Square
Twilight and Applejack are still on their search when they see Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash trotting towards them.

Twilight: (surprised, relieved) "Pinkie Pie! Oh, Pinkie, I'm so sorry I scared you off with what I tried earlier."
Pinkie Pie: "It's okay, Twilight. You were only trying to help. *I'm* sorry I caused you all to worry."
Applejack: "We're just glad you're safe, Pinkie."

Pinkie Pie suddenly winces, hoof to cheek at the point of pain.

Twilight: "Oh, Pinkie, what are you going to do about the pain? You can't just live with it forever!"

Pinkie Pie, hoof still to cheek, glances at Rainbow Dash, who smiles reassuringly at her.

Pinkie Pie: "(sighs) I guess I'll have to get it seen by... a dentist."
Twilight: (deeply concerned) "Are you sure about that?"
Pinkie Pie: "Yes. I've thought about it. It's for the best."
Applejack: "Good for you, sugarcube."
Rainbow Dash: "And I know just the pony you'll be seeing. C'mon!"

(end of act two)

Act Three
SCENE: Ponyville Hospital
Wide-shot of Ponyville Hospital. Cut to Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, who are seen waiting inside, seated outside a dental clinic. Nurse Redheart walks by past them.

Suddenly, the clinic door opens. We see Derpy Hooves leave with a mouth full of cotton (as the usual cameo appearance). Angel Bunny appears by the door, peers at the gang, then signals them to go inside.

The ponies do, confused. They look around the dimly lit room, noticing one particular hovering pegasus ahead of them, holding a clipboard. She speaks:

Mysterious Pegasus: "Well, what seems to be the problem today?"

She spins around out of the shadows, revealing herself to be...

Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie Pie: "FLUTTERSHY!?" (Fluttershy is shocked)

Fluttershy: "Girls!?"
Twilight: "Fluttershy, you're the dentist?"
Fluttershy: "Well, yes. I take care of so many animals at my cottage, I eventually picked up the skills to help them treat their dental woes. And now I volunteer at Ponyville Hospital from time to time."
Applejack: "But have you worked on actual ponies before?"
Fluttershy: "Oh, yes. Well, just one."
Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie Pie: "Who?"
Rainbow Dash: "(zoom to close-up) Me. (pause) See...

I came here back then to have my bad tooth checked out, but the dentist couldn't figure out what was wrong. Until Fluttershy came along and noticed a splinter on my gum. She gently removed it in this very room. And I was done and back to normal within the week!

(Rainbow Dash grabs Fluttershy by the shoulder as Fluttershy hugs her clipboard, bashful.)

So if Pinkie Pie is going to have to see a dentist, why not let that dentist be Fluttershy?"

Twilight and Applejack smile and nod in agreement, facing Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie: "I'll do it."

Fade out, then in to various angles of Pinkie Pie sitting in Fluttershy's dentist's chair, with no visible restraints.

Fluttershy proceeds to work on Pinkie Pie. Cut to shots of dentistry tools and Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy calls out for specific tools, which Angel Bunny hands to her. Fluttershy brings tools near Pinkie Pie, but Pinkie whimpers as Fluttershy does so, causing a situation where Fluttershy is also too afraid to proceed. Another tool is brought up instead, but Pinkie Pie clenches her teeth shut.

Cut to Fluttershy contemplating her next move and then sighing out a stern face before deciding to bring a scalpel-like tool close to Pinkie Pie's mouth, of which we get a shot of, before it cuts to a wide-shot of Ponyville Hospital and fades off.

SCENE: Ponyville Hospital - Ward
Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow Dash walk up to Pinkie Pie's bed with Fluttershy, where Pinkie has just been reviewed by a doctor.

Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow Dash: "Hey, Pinkie Pie."
Twilight: "How're you feeling?"
Pinkie Pie: (muffled speech)

Fluttershy realises the situation and yanks out a wad of cotton out from Pinkie Pie's mouth. Pinkie Pie speaks as Fluttershy realises the cotton wad is damp from drool before tossing it aside.

Pinkie Pie: "I'm feeling so much better now, and it's all thanks to Fluttershy."
Applejack: "What happened in there?"
Pinkie Pie: "Fluttershy had a lot of scary tools in there, but I told myself not to panic! Fluttershy started poking around, trying to find the exact problem, but then she couldn't! She was getting all nervous and then I was nervous and I didn't know what to do..."
Fluttershy: (interrupts) "Pinkie Pie had a little nut stuck between her teeth that was causing the pain, so I just took it out with my tweezers!"
Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow Dash: "Ohhh..."
Pinkie Pie: "Aww, I would've told the story better!"

Pinkie Pie pouts. The girls all laugh.

As Twilight begins narrating her letter, we cut to outside of Ponyville Hospital, where Pinkie Pie is seen discharged and leaving the premises with Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie hugs Rainbow Dash gratefully for her advice from the treehouse as they trot back to Ponyville together.

Twilight: "Dear Princess Celestia,

My friend Pinkie Pie has learnt that facing one's fears and going at it alone can be tough. But when she opened up and got her friends involved, she managed to overcome her deepest fears and see that things may not always be as bad as it seems, something we can all learn to do.

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle"

(fade, closing credit sequence)

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic & Original Characters © Hasbro
Pinkie Pie has a bad tooth and her friends try to help her out in her time of agony.

I got bored staying in hospital that I decided to write. This fan-script is written in the style of an actual family-friendly episode of My Little Pony, but it's total duration is questionable. Bronies who've been around may find allusions to one infamous fanfic, but that was not intentional.

Let me know what you think, this being my first piece of fan writing ever.


My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic & Original Characters © Hasbro
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What's the greater meaning here?

Fantastic art by :iconcatnipfairy:

Full image:

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(Threatening dreams of courthouses and bench)
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Mantles word from an informed alibi;
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With a loud SNAP, Shadow landed in a new world. Before he even managed to open his eyes, a wave of exhaustion wrapped over him. T-this world must be far away from my home, Shadow thought, I've never been this exhausted from traveling before. Shadow, as quickly as he could, took out his inhibitor rings from his bag and replaced them on his wrists. There, that should stop me from losing too much more energy. I need to conserve my strength as much as possible.

Now with that settled Shadow took a good look around the area to find out what kind of world he is in. It looks like I landed in an orchard, Shadow contemplated from all the apple trees around him. He took a few deep breaths and noticed that the air around him is much fresher than on Earth. This place is probably not as industrialized as Earth. Ether that, or it just doesn't have someone like the Doctor polluting the place every chance he gets.

Shadow tried to go and see what the natives of this world look like, but as soon as he took a few steps, another wave of exhaustion washed over him. Ugg…I can conquer any foe that tries me, yet I can't conquer my own body. Ok…I get it. Rest first than I can take a look around. There's no use in over exerting myself. So Shadow walked over to the nearest tree, leaned against it, and closed his eyes to rest.


"What do ya think it is?" Asked a deep male voice in a Sothern accent

"Ah'm not sure. Maybe Twilight or Fluttershy'd know, but Ah'm not good with figurin out critters," said a female voice in a Sothern accent.

Shadow opened his eyes to see who was talking about him, but was disappointed to find that all that was in front of him was a copper colored horse that was strangely wearing a hat and a red horse. Shadow got up—and as he did the horses backed away—and looked towards the left and right to see who it was that was talking about him. They must've gone to see—I think they said Twilight or something like that—about me. But I don't get why they left their horses here, if I were some predator that would be bad news.

"Do ya think it's dangerous?" Asked the female voice. Shadow jumped at realization that whoever was talking didn't leave yet. He traced the voice and it went back to…the copper colored horse?

Well that's…strange. This is the first time I've seen a sentient being that isn't bipedal. It's a good thing that I usually have a stoic expression on me, otherwise I probably would be freaking out. Speaking of that, I wonder how that hedgehog would react if he were in my position. Shadow thought for a moment Knowing him he would accept the circumstances quickly. He always had a knack for accepting the strangest situations.

Shadow stared down the two horses for a few seconds, probably causing them to become nervous. Normally I'd ignore random civilians, but my excuse of I don't have time to interact is blown out of the water here. And I might as well get some idea about where I am.

"You two! Where am I at?!" Asked Shadow, probably more forcefully than needed.

The two horses jumped back, whether at the forcefulness of Shadows voice or at the surprise at the fact that he is talking. Either way the copper horse blinked for a few seconds than said "Well howdy. I didn't figure you'd be able to talk. My names Applejack and next to me'd be my brother Big Macintosh. You're at Sweet Apple Acers, which is my farmland."

Friendly, but I was hoping that you would skip the introductions and just tell me where I'm at.

"So, if ya don't mind my askin," Applejack continued "what are you?"

"My name is Shadow the Hedgehog. Now, where is the nearest town and is there a library there?" Shadow asked less forcefully than before but still quite forceful.

"Well Ponyville is right close to here. How about Ah show you the way," Applejack offered.

Ponyville? I'm going to assume the founders of the town where lacking in the originality department. That's like naming some town on Earth 'Humanville'. "Fine, lead the way," Shadow said.

"Um sis…" Big Macintosh said, speaking for the first time since his voice woke Shadow up.

"Ah know we've got work to do," Applejack said "But you know it's nice to help somepony out." (Did she just say some pony?)

"Just give me some directions and maybe a map and I'll be fine from there. I don't need an escort," Shadow said bluntly.

"Ok then. Come with me," Applejack said. As she turned to go, Shadow noticed for the first time that she had three apples tattooed near her backside. He then passed a glance at Big Macintosh and saw that he had a green apple tattooed near his backside. Shadow decided not to say anything, in case it might (which it most likely would) come off as rude.

Applejack brought Shadow over to a large barn that was in the distance, went inside it, and came out with a bag. "In here's a map of Ponyville and a few apples for the road." She gave the bag to Shadow than with one hoof, she pointed towards a path leading away from the barn. "If you head that way you should reach Ponyville quick like. Now when you get there some ponies might be a little afraid of ya, but when you get to the library my friend Twilight should be able to help ya."

She said ponies again. Great…this is going to be fun, Shadow thought sarcastically. "Thank you for your help. I'll be going now," Shadow said, trying to contain his annoyance. Before Applejack could reply Shadow walked off, setting off for Ponyville.


Shadow stopped to take a good look at the town that is emerging in front of him. So…this must be Ponyville, Shadow thought as he observed the town. Looks to be from the 1800's. No electricity, no vehicles, most likely a simple way of life. And…what the!?

On the horizon, Shadow saw several—things for lack of a better word—darting around in the skies and pushing clouds around. Are they…controlling the weather? I…guess that blows my 'simple way of life' theory out of the water. What else do the natives of this world have the ability to do?

"Whatch ya doin there Mister?" came a young voice with a Sothern accent from behind.

Shadow turned around to see a young yellow colored pony with a red mane looking up at him. To the left is also… a Pegasus and a Unicorn? Well I guess it sort of makes sense. A Pegasus is a winged horse and a Unicorn is a horse with a horn. Anyways, the Pegasus was orange with a purple mane and the Unicorn was white with a light pink mane.

Shadow turned back to viewing the town and replied to the young pony, "Nothing that should interest you."

"Oh come on! I bet you're doing something exiting and are just not telling us," said the Pegasus.

"I dunno Scootaloo. To me it looked like he was just watching the Pegasus work with the weather," The yellow colored pony pointed out to the Pegasus, who is apparently Scootaloo.

"Hmm…you have a good eye," Shadow complemented the yellow pony "You could say that I'm not from around here, so I have never seen Pegasus control the weather. I therefore find it fascinating watching them do so."

"You should see Rainbow Dash do it," Scootaloo bragged, "She makes moving the weather 20% cooler.  And she's so fast; she can clear the weather in 10 seconds flat!"

Great, a fan girl, Shadow thought sarcastically. But I guess it could be worse. According what I've heard, Tails used to be a fan boy when he first met Sonic. And if this kid is like him in any way, then there's hope for her yet.

"Well I'm heading that way anyways so I might run into her. Until then, I guess I might see you around."

"Hey wait," the Unicorn said "You haven't introduced yourself yet. My sis always says it's polite to introduce yourself when talking to someone you don't know."

Shadow shook his head, but he did it swiftly to avoid having the three young ponies see him, and said "Humph, Shadow the Hedgehog."

"I'm Sweetie Bell," the Unicorn said

"Names Scootaloo," the Pegasus said

"Ah'm Applebloom," the yellow pony said

After the three said their names, Shadow lifted his hand in a wave goodbye, and started walking straight towards town.
Prolouge [link]
Next [link]

Now for some more headcannon explanations. In my headcannon, Shadow has some respect for Tails because A: Tails can understand Shadow's loss for Maria because he too lost Cosmo and B: Tails had the guts to defend Cosmo from Shadow even though he had no chance of winning. So that is the reason why Shadow thinks that there is hope for Scootaloo yet, because he's thinking of Tails.

Oh, and if you have any suggestions with the Apple accent please leave your comment, because I really have no clue how well I'm doing it. I'm thinking for future chapters where Applejack or Applebloom appear in I'll just take the Left Behind path and let you imagine the accent with their words.

Sonic characters are (C) Sega
MLP FiM is (C) Hasbro
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Why? Why? That was a question I struggled with for a long time. And yet the answer never seemed to appear for me. Answers did never come easy for me, but I still didn't know why I kept doing this. What purpose did it serve?

I made a promise to somebody a long time ago that I would give all the people on Earth a chance to be happy. And for the most part, I succeeded. I stopped the collapsing of the Space Colony Ark, Defeated the leader of the Black Arms, and joined G.U.N. to further help keep people safe.

So than why did I constantly feel the need to travel? I'm not talking about travel to other countries, like Adabat or Spagonia. I'm talking about traveling farther. To other worlds. Every once in a while, I release my full power to travel to a random destination outside of my world I swore to protect and go to some random world I have no connection to. Once there I'll usually observe the native creatures of that planet, while I wait to recover my energy to return home.

And yet I had no reason to be doing so. I had no reason to go off and spend my time that I could be using helping this world, to go off and visit another one. But, something just compelled me to keep going for some reason.

Sure, I lied to myself several time saying things like: I'm seeing if I can find a last remnant of the Black Arms, or maybe a last remnant of the Seedarians. But I knew that nether one was the reason I continued. I knew that I had no reason to continue.

So that left me with the first question, why? The question that I struggled with. At least…until I went there. At least…until I found her.


"Shadow, where are you going this time?" Rouge the Bat asked Shadow the Hedgehog for the umpteenth time. They had both just finished a mission together and Shadow once again dropped the bomb that he would be leaving. He has done this several times since joining G.U.N., yet Rouge is always surprised by it.

Shadow just turned his back on her—also putting his back towards the G.U.N. headquarters—and stared off into the distance. Rouge took Shadow's silence as a "Stop asking because I'm not going to tell you." Another thing the Rouge should be used to by now. Yet she is nothing if not persistent.

"Humph, fine. If that's how you want to play it, than I guess I just have to…"

"Don't try and follow me!" Shadow commanded, interrupting Rouge in the middle of her statement.

"Well, aren't we high and mighty today?" Rouge said sarcastically. She then walked up close Shadow and said "You can tell me what you're doing. You know I can keep a secret."

"I don't care. What I'm doing is nobody else's business except for mine. So I'll ask you to stay out of it," Shadow said, ignoring her attempts at charming the answer out of him.

"Fine! Be that way," Rouge said. She started walking back to G.U.N.'s headquarters, but before leaving earshot she said "I'll leave you alone for now. But don't you worry, I will find out about your little secret eventually Shadow." And with that, Rouge flew away.

"Fine, go ahead," Shadow said, mostly to himself, "But by that time, I'll hopefully have come up with a reason why I'm doing it." Shadow turned back to the building to make sure that nobody was watching him before teleporting out.


Shadow entered his house, carefully looking around in case anybody is snooping. When he made absolutely sure that nobody was around, he closed all his windows and locked all the doors. Good thing nobody is around, Shadow thought, otherwise I'd have to kick them out. If they know me well enough, it shouldn't surprise them, but they might end up becoming suspicious of me. Everybody I know has an annoying amount of curiosity in them, which doesn't help me one bit.

Shadow reached for his inhibitor rings to release them and access his full power. After taking them off, he placed his inhibitor rings in a bag and wrapped that bag around his neck so that he doesn't lose them during interdimensional travel. He finally let the full power of the Chaos Force fill him.

Now I just need to focus, thought Shadow as he closed his eyes. As I've told that kid numerous times, if you don't focus when using the power of the Emeralds than you can easily cause something bad to happen while using Chaos Control. And it goes double for me while I'm not using the Chaos Emeralds, because that power is harder to fully control.

In all likelihood, Shadow could use the Chaos Emeralds to transport to another world, and that would even speed up the time it takes for him to return. But Shadow doesn't bring the Chaos Emeralds with him in case somebody else needs them to protect this world. In fact, the world did once need the Chaos Emeralds while Shadow was gone. Though technically, Shadow thought, if I would have brought the Chaos Emeralds with me, then the Doctor wouldn't have been able to split the Earth apart with them and the Chaos Emeralds wouldn't have been needed to fix it.

Shadow snapped out of his thoughts and refocused. I shouldn't stray with my thoughts too much. I don't want to accidently warp to the sun or a star or something. I highly doubt that I'll be able to explain to anybody why I suddenly returned third degree burns.

After that thought, Shadow focused all his power, and after a loud "CHAOS CONTROL!" he teleported away from Earth and to a land that nothing could have prepared him for.
Next [link]

Shadow the Hedgehog is constantly searching other worlds for the answer to the question of why is he traveling to other worlds. His searches this time take him to a land called by the natives Equestria. Will Shadow find the answers he is searching for there, or will the strangeness of the place make Shadow go insane.

So yeah, enjoy the start of a Sonic/MLP crossover--not like there aren’t 100 of those already. But hey, in interests of originality, I'm making Shadow the main character of this.

That kid by the way is a refrence to Tails. In my headcannon, Tails has some ability to use the Chaos Emeralds, but somewhat lacks control over it.

Please leave any and all critique/feeback/whatever else in the comments section.

Sonic—or if I want to be technical—Shadow is © Sega
MLP FiM is © Hasbro
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"GAH," Inuyasha hissed, pulling away from Kagome abruptly. "I hate that an-tee-skeptic thing!" He crawled away from the wench when she advanced once more with the cotton swab drenched in antiseptic. "STAY. AWAY!" He howled.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome called, impatiently. "You know I wouldn't be doing this if you were still hanyou. But you aren't. So, get over here!" Her command was ferocious, but Inuyasha wasn't about to budge. His raven hair was framing his face, and blood continued to gush out of his upper arm. He had gotten torn up pretty bad by a ferocious tiger demon. He had managed to run away with Kagome before the sun fully disappeared behind the horizon, succumbing to a moonless night.

The night of the new moon…

"NO!" He yelled.





Kagome snarled. "No! I'll let your ass bleed to death. So, unless you wanna die a slow and painful demise with me standing right at that corner, pointing and laughing, I suggest you crawl right back over here and take the antiseptic like a man. Or," She grinned, "you aren't as much of a man as you lead yourself to be?"

That got him.

Hit to the ego.

Dejectedly, he crawled back, wincing when he put too much pressure on his right arm. Damn wench, he thought, insulting my manhood. Keh! Sitting with his legs crossed, he leaned against the tree that they were hiding behind. They managed to lose the tiger demon before Inuyasha pulsed into his human form. Gently, Kagome dabbed his wound and he hissed in pain, but remained seated. Her eyes softened.

Oh, Inuyasha… She thought as she tried to, as gently as possible, rub the dried crusts of blood off of his arm. If she didn't treat the wound on time, then he would probably die before the sun rose. And she couldn't let that happen to Inuyasha.

She wouldn't.

"WEENNNNCHH!" he roared, yanking away again. Kagome squeaked.

"Sorry!" She apologised. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Inuyasha had his left hand clutching the ground and his right hand rigid in pain. Kagome leaned forward slightly, her eyes reflecting the worry that she internally felt. If she didn't clean the wound and sew it up, Inuyasha would surly lose his arm—

Or worse.


"Ugh," he groaned, "it fucking hurts, Kagome." He admitted. Her heart thudded against her chest—he never told her anything hurt. But right now he was human so… his emotions were getting the best of him, right? Kagome sure hoped so. Her fear was rising but she refused to let him see how scared she was. He needed her right now, and for all the times he had been there for her, she would be there for him.

"Inuyasha," she whispered, "we have to clean it and bandage it. Otherwise…" she gulped as her silent finished her statement for her. He glanced at her before quickly looking away.

"Keh," he scoffed, "I'll live."

"But you might not!" She cried, balls of tears forming behind her eyes. "You're not as strong right now, as you usually are. You don't know what'll happen!"

Inuyasha was silent for a moment. He knew she was right. He knew that if he didn't let her do what she wanted to do; then he might die before it was even midnight. He wasn't used to somebody pouring over him, caring for him, until he met Kagome. She would risk anything to help him, to help treat his wounds. Even when she knew that he healed a lot faster than humans, she still wanted to treat him when he was half demon.

It wasn't the fact that he was hurt, it was the principle. She wanted to show that she cared about him…



The half demon.

"Fine." He gave in. "Just… just don't let it hurt."

Kagome smiled sadly, knowing that something like not letting it hurt was going to prove to be very difficult. Inhaling deeply, she grabbed a new handful of cotton swabs and drenched it in antiseptic. Gently, she pressed it against his wound and heard him hiss in pain once more. She tugged his haori higher, so she could reach the farthest limits of his wound, but it wasn't helping. Sitting back down, she looked gently up at him.

"You… you need to take your haori off."

He froze and slowly turned to look at her. His deep amethyst bore into her own. "Come again?"

Kagome bit her lower lip. "Take your haori off?"

"Might as well take my hakama off too, eh?"

Kagome blanked. "… you just cracked a joke!"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Keh," and shrugged his haori off with much discomfort. Kagome drank in the depth of his wound and her heart began pounding harder. That coupled with his chiselled chest glistening underneath the twinkling stars made her heart go into overdrive.

Trying to calm her nerves, she began to treat him once again. She saw the tightening of his muscles, the simple ripple of his sinew, the involuntary twitches his body made. Trying to take her attention away from his chest, she stared intently at his arm.

He took such a bad beating, she thought sadly. I wish… I could always be there for him. She saw the firm set in his jaw and knew that he was trying to endure the pain. She could only imagine how much it would be hurting him right now: a huge gash in his upper arm, extensive loss of blood. The only thing she could think of was getting his mind off of the entire thing. As she continued to clean the wound, she also began speaking.

"When I was younger," she began. Immediately, Inuyasha's head snapped to her direction and his eyes were wide. If there was anything about Kagome he knew, it was that he didn't know about her childhood. She was just as mysterious as him in that sense- she kept quiet about her past.

"My father and I would always go to little festivals that our town would have," her eyes focused solely on his arm but she seemed to be in another world entirely. "It was just me and him. Souta was way too young… he," she gulped, "father bought me something every year. I still have them: a hair clip, a poster of a gold fish, a bug net… there are ten years of stuff from festivals that daddy and I used to go to."

Inuyasha had forgotten about the stinging sensation that constantly jolted throughout his arm. His eyes were soft and trained only Kagome, who was only focusing on his arm.

"He left for work that morning," she whispered, tears beginning to spill from her eyes. "And… we were in an argument. I told him I never wanted to see him again and…"

Inuyasha gulped.

"I didn't."

His eyes were trained onto her working figure. She seemed distant; as if she weren't there with him anymore, but she was. Expertly, she finished cleaning the wound and grabbed another bunch of cotton swabs to give it another quick wipe over. The pain was beginning numbingly familiar, and Inuyasha didn't know if that was good or bad.

"He was in a car accident," she continued. "Right in the middle of an intersection. A truck—one of those bigger cars—" She clarified for Inuyasha, "hit him as he passed through. That was it. Dead on the spot. And I never got to say that I was so-sorry…" She sniffled the last part, trying to contain her pain. "Nobody knows this story. But… you're my best friend so, I guess I had to tell you someday, hmm?"

His eyes were soft, not reflecting the pain that he was feeling. "Kagome," he murmured. Tearing away from his gaze, Kagome moved to her backpack. It was one of those nights she wished Sango and Miroku were with them, but alas, due to unforeseen circumstances, Sango became pregnant with Miroku's child and they were settled down in Kaede's village. Naraku had been destroyed a while ago, and Inuyasha and Kagome continued scouring through the continent to find the remaining shards of the Shikon no Tama.

Fishing through her endless pit of amenities, Kagome finally found gauze, medicinal twine, and a sterilized needle that was still in the package. They were things that Hojo had given her at some point and she had precariously at the time, thrown it into her backpack.

She didn't know that it'd come in handy. Ever.

"What're you doing?" He whispered, his heart racing. He was always in awe of what his companion was capable of. Throughout their years, she had helped them on so many occasions (other than spotting the aura of a shikon shard), and he was indebted to her. Not that she would find out, of course. And, as much as he didn't want to verbally admit it, he had fallen deeply in love with her.

Irreversibly in love. What he felt for Kagome he had never felt for Kikyo. With Kagome, he felt a companionship; a form of commitment that wasn't easily forged between two people. She cared about him, and constantly tried to show to the world that he wasn't what they perceived him to be: a filthy half-demon. She poured her heart out to him, on various occasions, and today had been the ultimate limit in which she could've gone.

Revealing her father's history. Something he had never known about.

His family history, although he never wanted to discuss it, had been easily found out throughout their journey. But Kagome?

God, I love her… The thought was painful to him, primarily because he knew that she would never be with him. Never pick him…

"Inuyasha," she whispered softly, "this is gonna hurt. A lot… I'm sorry in advance, okay?"

Dumbly, he nodded and braced himself. Gently, she laid a hand on his shoulder and straightened out her body. Trailing her fingers down, she pressed the tender muscles around the open wound and he hissed, loudly. Looking at him quickly, she pulled her hands away. "Did it hurt too much?"

With an obvious pained expression on his face, he shook his head. "No," he croaked. Tears of pain were gathering behind his lids, but he refused to let them fall. He was a man, not a weakling. "Just. Do what you're doing." He croaked out. Kagome's own tears filled behind her lids and spilled endlessly.

That took Inuyasha off guard. "What the—"

"I'm sorry," she sniffed, "if I hadn't been so stupid and went to take a bath when you clearly told me not to, you wouldn't be in so much pain."

He studied her, long and hard, before looking away. "Keh," he shot, "that's my job, wench. I protect you, no matter what."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled again, "if there's any way I can make it up to you…"

"Make sure I live until sunrise," he immediately responded, which caught Kagome ultimately off guard. Nodding quickly, she got back up again. Although it was dark, she was able to see perfectly clearly with the limited light the stars provided. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness and she knew that, however she did the job, anything to close his wound was better than nothing. Having a new sense of courage, Kagome immediately began doing what she originally intended to do: sew up Inuyasha's wound.

He swallowed the groans of pain that were threatening to come out. He didn't even want to look over and see what she was doing—all he felt was his skin pulling together, forcibly being put into a state where they could heal. She was sewing him shut… he couldn't help but feel the shock that coursed through his body.

"Where did—" He couldn't get the rest of his question out as pain rocked his body once more. Kagome looked at him for a split second before looking back at the work at hand.

"Where did I learn to sew… people?"

He nodded, not being able to speak. The pain…

"Kaede once showed me," she murmured, "you had… gone to see Kikyo," her voice cracked when she said that and it didn't go unnoticed by Inuyasha. "You were gone for a few days and a couple of the men in the village were attacked. Shippo and Miroku killed the demon, and I had to help Kaede sew flesh wounds."

He didn't know what to say. So much about her he didn't know…

Yet he knew more about her than anybody else in the world.

He closed his eyes and clenched his left arm, letting out an involuntary cry of pain. Kagome tried to quickly finish what she was doing. Finally, she did the best she could do and wrapped the wound with gauze and handed him some pain killers. Taking two pills, he leaned his head against the tree, and breathed heavily.

His arm killed.

Bunching up his haori and placing it on her lap, she nudged Inuyasha, ushering him to lie down. He was in too much pain to argue, so he did as she told and was immediately enveloped in the strong scent of Kagome. The feeling was surreal; he never thought he would be allowed to do something like that, ever again. Not since he was poisoned by the Spider Head.

Closing his eyes, Inuyasha was consumed by fatigue and ultimate pain. Kagome had, before they had gotten comfortable, placed enchanted sutras (which were stabbed into the ground by her purity arrows) around them. It was to keep evil out, temporarily. Hopefully it held until sunrise.

Her fingers were running through his hair, massaging his scalp. Inuyasha was in heaven; nothing had ever felt so good before. Ever. Her fingers rubbed circles, undoing the tenseness, sending a ripple of pleasure to pulse through his body. He was beginning to get extremely tired- Kagome did say something about the pain killers making him feel sleepy.

"K'gome," he croaked and she stopped her ministrations.

"Yes, Inuyasha?" Her voice was frantic. "Does it hurt too much?"

He shook his head, his eyes still closed. "No. You smell kinda good…"

Déjà vu. She was sent back to years ago when she first met Inuyasha. When he was poisoned the first night she and Shippo found out that he was a human on the night of the new moon. Smiled in nostalgia, she went back to running her fingers through his hair.

"You told me you hated how I smelt," she whispered, repeating what she had said that day, so long ago. She felt him smile in her lap.

"I know," he croaked, "I lied."

Her fingers rubbed into his scalp again, running through his mane at random. His breathing was becoming even, signalling that he was succumbing to sleep. She brought her face forward and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Inuyasha?" She whispered.


"What would you do if I was poisoned… and almost died?"

His left had come up to grip her shirt, as tightly as it was possible for him. "I'd cry for you," he admitted. Kagome pressed her lips to his cheek again and trailed her lips to his ear.

"Are you falling asleep?"

"Hmm…" his voice was trailing away.

"Can I tell you something?"


Kagome's hot breath felt amazing against his cheek; against his ear. "I… love you…"

By then, Inuyasha had already fallen asleep.


Kagome stayed up for the remainder of the night, she was the only form of protection that either of them had. Inuyasha had slept soundly, which was a good thing. His breathing remained regular and Kagome was relieved when she saw light beginning to peak from behind the eastern horizon. Dawn, at last…

As if on cue, Inuyasha's sleep broke and his eyes blinked open. Inhaling deeply, he looked up at Kagome who was watching the sunrise.

"Morning," he mumbled and she looked down, smiling at him.

"Feel better?"

Nodding, he sat up and closed his eyes. Almost immediately, his body pulsed and his hair transformed into his regular silver mane, his claws grew out, his fangs came in—and his arm healed. Kagome watched him transform, something she had seen many times in the past, but the beauty of it never ceased to amaze her.

Inuyasha opened both eyes and blinked twice. Kagome was glad to see his natural ochre shade return. Still topless, Inuyasha used his left hand to slit through the gauze. Haphazardly, the pieces fell to the side and revealed a perfectly healed arm.

Kagome smiled widely. "Thank god," she breathed. Inuyasha looked at her with much intensity, but she didn't realize it. Picking the haori off of her lap, she moved to hand it to him.

"We made it through the night… I guess we can get going now?"

Without word, he pushed her against the tree and pressed his lips tightly onto hers. Eyes widening, Kagome was in shock for a few moments before melting into the kiss, responding with movements of her own. His left hand cupped her cheek and the claws of his right hand were trailing up and down her arm. Kagome's mind was reeling into overdrive.

What was happening?

Finally pulling back, Inuyasha kept his forehead pressed against hers. "What you did for me last night… nobody…"

"No," she murmured, cutting him off. "Don't say anything. You know I'll always be there for you-" he opened his mouth to argue, but she stopped him by saying "regardless of what you are. Don't say you're a filthy hanyou, because you and I both know that I refuse to believe or acknowledge that statement."

Inuyasha smirked, slowly and sinfully sexily. "No, I was going to say that I know you'll always be there for me. As I am for you."

Kagome's heart pounded against her chest. Oh lord have mercy on her.

"You saved my life," he croaked. Kagome couldn't believe her hanyou was saying this to her. "My soul." He kissed the tip of her nose. "You know something?"

"What?" Her voice was soft. Delicate.

"I was thinking, and I realized something." He watched her watch him expectantly. Pulling back just a bit, Inuyasha made sure that he had a full view of her face. He wanted to see her, all of her. "I realized that… this," he broke his gaze from her face for a moment and looked around them, "all of this. You and me, the shikon jewel, this hunt. It was all predestined."

Kagome's heart, if possible, raced even faster.

"I realized that," he looked back at her, "I realized that I was born for you, Kagome."

Oh. My. God.

"And you were born to meet me… to be with me…"

No. Freakin'. Way.

"I guess what I'm tryna say is," he inhaled deeply, "is that I love you. Too."

Her eyes widened in disbelief. "You… heard me last night?"

Smiling, he leaned forward and placed a gentle peck on her lip. "Of course. I don't actually sleep you kn—" He was cut off when she threw her arms around him and began to weep. Immediately, his arms encircled her and he held her close. Close to his heart. To his soul.

To him.

"I'm so glad you're alive," she bawled, "I thought you were gonna die. I was so afraid—I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you, Inuyasha." She refused to pull away, and he had to yank her. Gently, of course.

"I'll never leave you," he murmured. "Didn't I promise you that once?"

Slowly, she nodded.

"But there's a small condition that comes with being with you forever," he smiled when she raised both eyebrows. She blinked away her tears and, as much as he didn't want to admit it, she was mighty cute when she cried.

"What's that?" She whispered.

"If I'm ever on my death bed, you'll bring me back to life."


"Good," and he pulled her into an embrace once more. They were silent for a moment before Kagome mumbled, into his chest:

"Did you just somehow propose to me?"

Smirking, he held onto her tighter. "And you said yes without you even knowing."

"I'd say yes regardless of knowing or not." She retorted. "I'm glad you're alive."

"And I'm glad you're mine."

Pulling away, they stared into each other's eyes for moment before leaning forward to capture one another's lips once more. This is what was meant to be. Meant to happen.

This was their destiny.


Dedicated to: delight046 (because she's totally awesome)

Inspiration: When Rapunzel heals Flynn Rider's hand in Tangled (amazing. movie).

Plot idea: Cherrywolf-chan
Their Destiny

Injured, Inuyasha has only one hope to life: Kagome. Battling against herself, Kagome sews Inuyasha's flesh wound as he battles unconsciousness on the night of the new moon. Will he make it till dawn? Or is all hope lost...

An Inuyasha one shot, copyright Rumiko Takahashi
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There's a little boy who walks to school,
Nobody knows his name.
No matter what he tries to do,
It is always the same.

He keeps up with all the trends,
He knows them inside out.
Each one he pulls off perfectly,
Even that selfie-photo pout.

Each week he brings a box of muffins,
Though nobody knows why.
He used to try and hand them out,
Now he doesn't even try.

He shares the muffins with the crows
and eats them one by one.
For consuming that much sugar,
He sure looks miserable when he's done.

He looks down at the empty box
and you see a little smile.
The crows fly off and he lies down;
They'll all be full for quite a while.

The same routine, every week,
I think so that he can pretend,
That in the year that he's been here,
He's made at least one friend.

Well, this is the first (I think) poem I've ever written that hasn't stemmed from my emotions (At least, not conciously) or an event that has occurred to myself or someone I know. In fact, I don't even know where this came from. I was in drama and we had muffins that we were sharing and it just sort of came to me. I almost burst out in tears because of the images and words it brought to my head. I was reluctant to write about it, so I sat on it for a few days but I couldn't forget about it. So, I wrote it out and here it is.



If you like this, you should check out Who needs friends? by :icontfxman: His poem is absolutely amazing!
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Through the good and the bad
you were always happy, never sad

Through each day you'd smile and laugh
brightening the life of all in your path

But when you died and the world grew cold
I heard you whisper from Death's dark hold

"Just keep smiling, if only for me"
"If nothing else, cause then you'll see"

"The world around you is always in need"
"but give it a smile and it will be freed"

"Freed from the chains that bind it down"
"Freed from the hate that makes us all frown"

"Freed from the sorrow that darkens your day"
"so that our friendship can wash it away"

"Even now, when you feel down"
"and the world makes you frown"

"I'll be here, right with you"
"to make your smile shine like new"

That's what I heard and it rang in my head
as i raced to your house to find you dead

As I sat with you, crying in pain
Some of my tears, they fell on your mane

And as they touched, what did I see
I saw you get up and smile at me

You told me to smile, if only for you
And the reason why I already knew

The world around me was still in need
But I gave it a smile and it was freed

Freed from the chains that bound it down
and all the things that made us frown

Freed from the sorrow that darkened my day
So that our friendship can wash it away

Even now, as you continue to fade
I still know, in my heart you stayed

I may not hear you, touch you or see
But still I know, your right next to me

And from today, till the day I die
You'll always be here, my Pinkie Pie...
I came up with this piece when i saw;
"Never Stop Smiling" [link]

The piece inspired me to write this poem as a dialog for Rainbow Dash

I cried a little while writing this, but my tears couldn't dull the sharp words of this poem, sinking deep into my heart...
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I woke up to the smell of eggs, pancakes, and sausage. They smelled good, but I knew they tasted horrible. I got up and rubbed my eyes, and tried to remember everything that happened yesterday, which took a while. When I remembered everything I tried to sort it out. So Prince Gumball, Ruler of the Candy Kingdom in the Land of Aaa, is living in my living room, and he comes from a different dimension where there are gender bent counterparts of all of my friends. Humph. I got out of bed and changed into some baggy jeans and one of my grey tank tops, along with brushing my hair and teeth. When I was all done, I floated into the nice smelling kitchen where I saw Prince Gumball making some more sausages. He looked at me and smiled, "Breakfast!" He said cheerfully. "Oh, that's nice of you but I'm a vampire." I said, hoping to scare him a little. "Oh! How silly of me to forget." He said, putting his hand to his face. He rolled the sausages on a plate and got out some strawberries. Here, I found a little strawberry patch out back and picked these." He said, handing me the little box. "How did you know I eat shades of red?" I asked, grabbing the box and opening it uneasily. "Remember? I know your male counterpart. He only eats shades of red too." Prince Gumball replied, putting the eggs, pancakes, and sausages on the table neatly. He sat pulled out a chair for me and I sat without hesitation. I started munching on one of the strawberries before sucking out its color, and I stared at Prince Gumball in awe. He looked so neat. Everything was tucked in, his hair was shiny and smooth, and he looked so energetic. "What time did you get up?" I asked, after sucking out the little strawberry's color. "Oh, about five o' clock." He replied casually. "That early? That's crazy." I said, laughing a bit. "Well it's the time I usually get up in Aaa." He said, smiling at me again. I smiled back, showing my fangs, and then remembered I should probably show him around. After I was done eating all of my strawberries, and Prince Gumball was done eating his breakfast, we set off.
I know it's only a chapter about them having breakfast, but whatever :3

First: [link]
Next: [link]
Previous: [link]
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Doctor who?
*Silence falls*

Q: What happens when the headless monks leave banana peels on the floor?
A: Silence will fall

Q: How many Sontarans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None! Sontarans do not fear the dark!

Q: How many Time Lords does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Interference in the lighting practices of other cultures is strictly forbidden.

Q: How many cybermen does it take to change a lightbulb?

Yo momma's so fat, the whole Slavine family could fit inside her at once

Yo momma's so fat, the cybermen upgraded her into a hot dog van

Yo momma's so fat, project indigo took her to an ice cream parlor

Yo momma's so fat, the Adipose consider her a natural resource

Yo momma's so fat, Captain Jack didn't try to flirt with her

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The tesselector: Our records office is sealed to the public. The chicken isn't guilty of anything.

River Song: Spoilers.

The Eleventh Doctor: Chickens are cool!

The Tenth Doctor: I dunno. I've learnt to stay away from hens.

The Ninth Doctor: Common poultry with migratory habits. Fantastic!

The Sixth Doctor: I haven't the slightest idea, Perry. Perry!

The Fifth Doctor: Ah. I'm not quite sure, but I'm sure someone around here could tell us!

The Fourth Doctor: Would it like a jelly baby?

Idris/Sexy: Do chickens cross roads?

The daleks: The chicken will be exterminated!

Harriet Jones, Prime Minister: Harriet Jones, Prime Minister. Has the chicken requested assistance?

The street vendors of NNY: Buy some happy for your trip across the road!

Amy Pond: I don't know. Does it matter, a chicken crossing?

Jackie Tyler: That chicken's mother is probably worried about it.

Captain Jack: Hello, chicken.

The Judoon: We have no juristiction over chickens.

Torchwood: If it's avian, it's ours.
What better way to improve a bad day than by thinking up jokes about Doctor Who?

Now, I'm pretty sure that I came up with most of these, but some of them were fairly obvious and so it's entirely possible that someone else thought of them first. No plagiarism intended if that is the case.
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Warning, the following contains spoilers for the Royal Wedding episodes.

As the Changelings began preparing for a feast upon the population of Canterlot, all chaos broke loose. Ponies fleeing every direction, looking for a way to escape the insect like creatures that were chattering excitedly just behind them, forcing them to rush past their physical limits to find safety. The exits of the city were left unguarded. With the shield shattered, any pony could leave in addition to the assailants getting in.

One pony in particular was already at the Western exit by the time the shields had been broken down. Several others joined her; after witnessing the Queen of the Changelings, Chrysalis, viciously take down their dear Princess, many of the attendees of the wedding quickly began to flee. Once the pulsing violet protection spell shattered, the frantic Equestrians waiting at the gates bolted from one of Canterlot's exits. Other groups of ponies rushed out in a hysterical group from the other exits, Pegasi  darting every which way.

They were all followed closely by a small hoard of the Changeling creatures, but once the group made it far enough down the mountain trail, they abandoned the chase and turned back to Canterlot to capture easier prey within the city. A white form broke from a group, unnoticed by the others. The panic in their hearts was too great to take note that one of their companions had veered off.

Skidding to a halt just before a cliff face, the white unicorn stared at the city from afar, chest heaving from the run. She began to pace back and forth, her hooves thumping on the ground with quiet, hollow thuds. "It's almost as if you planned it yourself, really." A voice said casually in her right ear, which fell sharply backwards in reaction to the sudden vocalization.

What appeared to have been a dark earring fell off when she had jerked her head in addition to flicking back the ear on which it had rested. Growing in size just in time for a small black dragon to tumble on his back onto the ground, it grunted out in irritation as he landed on his rump. Pulling himself to stand, the magical creature stood just out of the way of his companion's frustrated pacing. "Don't start with me, Paws." The mare snapped to the dragon, who shifted his form to straighten his normally bowed legs. She nudged past him shortly after, causing him to hop to regain his balance.

Paws, named so for his chubby paw-like, four fingered hands, curled his stubby nose at her. He gave a short bounce to the right when she tried to nudge him with her shoulder in a second pass, his kangaroo-esque shape giving him the ability to maneuver easily on the tips of his toes.

"Well, you wanted the wedding to end terribly, didn't you?" He asked smartly, large rounded ears falling back when she whipped her head around to give him a glare. He laughed at her ire filled azure eyes, ducking when she used her magic to fling a rock toward his head. It missed, and he knew it had been intentional that it had, because he realized shortly after ducking that it had been aimed to sail over him, albeit barely.

"Not by someone else's credit, and not ending with the possibility of Equestria falling shortly thereafter." She replied tartly, shaking her head to settle her long blonde mane. Using magic, she undid the complicated hairstyle and began casting the usual enchantment to curl it back into its more regularly seen shape.

Large, rounded curls bowed out to keep the incredibly long mane and tail from touching the ground. The curls were wide and spiraled attractively downward. "If Equestria were to fall under my motivations, it would be done with much more finesse and common sense. That Changeling should count herself lucky that Shining Armor's love was more than she originally thought. It was only by pure chance and fate that she was able to topple our Princess."

Paws chuckled a bit, covering his muzzle with his hands to hide his laughter, dark eyes swiveling toward the city, where by now the activity was overwhelming. "Yes, well, you always said you wanted another face to take the fall for you." He said through his fingers. "Perhaps you could convince her to let you join forces?"

"Pointless." The unicorn snapped back. "I have nothing to offer in return. She has everything she wants, there is nothing she could gain by giving me anything." Her voice was sharp and serious.

"What makes you so certain that she will be in power much longer? Celestia did send those six to get the elements-"

"In which case, if they are able to get to the Elements of Harmony, then there would be no point at all, since her reign would have expired, yes?" Her muzzle curled back in a sneer. "Why no one ever considers just taking out one of the weaker of the Elemental hosts..." The dragon clapped his hands together. They made a muffled thump when he did.

"What, like Applejack? I know she's your favorite right now." He almost regretted saying it by the reaction he got. He felt a little bit guilty. The unicorn's stance changed, all four legs splayed out widely, as if she was about to charge. A deep rumble came from her chest.

"That worthless little earth-dwelling whelp!" She snarled. "How dare the Princess give the job of catering such an event to the likes of that thing. I am the royal baker, I have made the foods and sculptures for the Gala for years!" The white pony ranted, clearly viciously upset at being replaced by the innocent Applejack.

"B-" Paws lifted both hands. "Buttercream! Calm down!" He said, giving one hop to get next to her quickly. He placed a hand on her shoulder, the other on the end of her muzzle. "I'm sorry I brought it up. You shouldn't get so flustered, it makes your pretty face all red and wrinkled." Standing up straight, Buttercream's eyes darted down to the shorter creature, who still had his large, warm hand on the end of her muzzle.

Ears falling back, she let out a long, heavy sigh. "You know I don't care if my face looks bad." She muttered, bumping his hand with her nose before stepping back to continue her pacing. "Besides, I-" She was cut off when a bright light caught her eye. The two watched in awe as the bright pink magic, signature to Cadence, forced every single one of the Changelings away. They saw the large form of the Queen flinging away, toward the large forest West of the mountain Canterlot was settled on.

"Calculate trajectory." Buttercream ordered out quickly, her front hooves clapping excitedly. "She may be alive. And now, I have something to barter with." They both ducked as three Changelings smashed into the rock face just behind them, their forms breaking and falling to the ground limply. Their bodies deteriorated into smoke shortly after with a dangerous hissing noise. "And let is hope she is more sturdy than her underlings."

Paws jumped to attention, the bright slivers that was the only visible part of his wings perking upwards. Several magic-generated  images appeared in front of him, though his eyes never left where the Queen had been flung. He ran his claw tips along the seven or so images in turn, using them to write out the math that was needed to track her landing point. "Got it. Within a kilometer. I don't know her exact weight."

Buttercream stepped forward, bowing her head to place her horn on the top of his head. The two thick antennae on the top of his head curled inward, the ends of them glowing as the made contact with her own glowing horn. There was a soft zap of transferred magic, and the two broke apart. Having made a temporary mental connection, they no longer needed to speak.

Find her. If she lives, report back to me. Check if her magic has been depleted and if so, bring her to the house. Buttercream said between them, watching as her dragon friend began to shrink in size.

His wings were not large enough for him to fly yet, but he could make his body smaller while keeping his wings the same size, so that he could take to the air. And he did just that, bolting off the cliff and toward the forest, his now tiny form disappearing rapidly.  

And you will be-? He asked her. She bolted at a full gallop down the mountain again, tearing off the dress she'd worn to the wedding with her teeth on the way down.

To see a pony about some Changeling repellants.  She answered smoothly, working her way toward Ponyville. Or rather, the Everfree Forest. Actively avoiding the small town, Buttercream weaved into the thick forest, knowing very easily where to go. Zecora's hut was a welcome sight, the exhausted mare coming to a complete stop just outside. Casting a spell to remove the sweat that shined along her sides and neck, she calmed her heavy breathing before lightly knocking her hoof against the door.

The zebra answered the door, a smile already on her face. "Aaah, well what is this I see, with eyes agleam; it is my dear friend, Buttercream." She greeted warmly, though her large, teal eyes quickly became curious and concerned. "Forgive me if I seem to be meddling; but wasn't today, that Royal Wedding?"

"I was never a fan of after parties." Buttercream answered sweetly, waiting for Zecora to step aside before she stepped into her home. "Am I interrupting?" She asked, noticing the large cauldron in the center of the room boiling and looking as though it needed tending to.

"No, my friend, it is nothing dire; simply some dinner, to be warmed by fire." Zecora assured her gently, closing the door behind them and using her dextrous tail to stir the spicy smelling stew with a large wooden spoon. "So what may I ask, is the reason for this surprise visit? Is something the matter? What is it?"

Buttercream just sat and listened to her speak for a few moments before she realized she was being asked a question. "I was wondering if you had anything that would work against... Changelings." She said, standing on opposing side of the cauldron from the zebra. Said equine raised both eyebrows at that.

"Changelings, I have not heard of in ages. Let us see what I have within these pages. " She moved over to her collection of books, sifting through them. Buttercream enchanted the spoon to keep stirring the pot before joining the zebra at her side. "The Changelings, they are from my homeland." Zecora explained, plopping a massive book down onto a tree stump, pushing it open with one hoof. She began flipping through it easily. "Though with some of these potions, their powers become quite bland."

"I was hoping you'd say that," Buttercream murmured joyously, peering over her shoulder. "What sorts of things do you have recipes for?" Zecora paused, her head tilting slightly to the right to catch the eye of her visitor.

"I will tell you these things, but first answer me; what has caused these questions to be?" Her tone was serious. Buttercream sat back slightly and decided to come clean.

"The wedding was cut short because Changelings attacked Canterlot. They have been eliminated already, but now I want a stock of things I need to be prepared should they ever return." Well, mostly clean. She actually wanted to see if there was any salve or potion or herb that might make a Changeling powerless, or a cure for the effects, or even something that prevented their powers from working. She desired having these things to protect her family at home.

Zecora backpedaled at the news, her ears perking up high. "In my home, Changelings were very  plenty; so the weapons against them, there are just as many." She motioned toward the book, elaborating each of the ways to fight against them. From ways to ward them from your home, to items and creatures they were fearful or superstitious of, to potions and the like that would drain their power, make the user temporarily invulnerable, or paralyze them. From the images in the book, zebras and Changelings were common enemies.

Purring in glee, Buttercream shifted on each foot as she tried to figure out what the pictures and foreign text meant. "Can you make me a translated recipe?" She asked her. "I would not want to trouble you with making these yourself." Her large blue eyes fluttered innocently.

Zecora laughed warmly, nodding her head with enthusiasm. "I am pleased with your willingness to learn. With these, any Changeling you meet will burn!" She went about collecting a book to write in, using her mouth to hold the specialized utensil for text.

Buttercream sighed, folding her legs under herself to rest as Zecora happily translated and transferred the ingredients and how-to's for all of the zebra-made home remedies for Changelings. She had been curled up on the floor for a while by the time Paws reported to her.

I found her. She's in once piece, though completely drained. The unicorn got the image of the Queen's crumpled, frail form in a small crater made from her own landing. It looked as though she was no longer living, but then again the creatures looked a bit undead in the first place. And alive. Unless these things somehow can die and still have a heartbeat. He added in reply to her doubts.

Don't mouth off. Buttercream murmured back tiredly, relaying to him the information she had gained from Zecora. Meet me at the back of the house. I don't want her inside until everyone's been protected.

Paws gave an affirmative, going back to his own hard work of using his magic to shrink Chrysalis' form small enough for him to take her to his ordered destination. This might take a while, I'll need to stop and take a few breathers. He muttered, getting a dismissive "Alright" in reply. He assumed she was already planning on how to get everything needed to prepare the other ponies in her household for the Queen of the Changeling's arrival.

First chapter to something I might continue if enough people like it. I so totally fell in love with Chrysalis that I NEEDED to bring her back, even if it was by myself. I also wanted a chance to actually introduce my characters, Buttercream and Paws.

Buttercream used to be my "sona", but that was when she was a G1 pony, but since she became FiM she's too far from what I look like to really feel like a "sona" anymore. So she really developed into her own character, as most of my characters do. They sort of grow on their own.

Anyway, for the record: NO I have nothing against Applejack. I think she's actually really sweet, but Buttercream's whole job is being a caterer for Canterlot events. Someone has to make all those sweets and food, right? Well she's the one. And you can't really blame her for being angry when she was told she'd be doing this wedding, then told she'd been replaced by Apple Acres. xD

So yeah. And I totally just wanted an excuse to finally write Zecora. I noticed that everyone who writes her just doesn't bother with the rhyming, and I was like, Fuck Y'all, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. So there. xD

Paws is my favorite part in this, I'm sad I had to send him off to quickly. But there was no logical way I could figure for them to swap places... So expect more of him in the future.

Paws [Full name: Commadore Fluffy Paws] and Buttercream belong to me. In the next chapter there are a lot more OCs belonging to my friends in it ^^

The art at the top has a few credits so here:
The image of Buttercream was drawn by *WhittyKitty/*WKPawprints
The lineart for Paws belongs to and the edits done to it were done by ~Storm-Blue
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