'Where was my blue T-shirt?' I thought to myself. 'I know I threw it in this pile over here... I think.' I searched through my piles in my room. 'I probably need to clean again.' I threw a red shirt aside until I saw some blue and yanked it out. "Finally!" I exclaimed to myself. I looked back at my piles and scuffed to myself. I could of just put anything on. I rolled my eyes. What was that last night with Justin coming to see Frances? Just can't keep his hands off of her, but why should it matter? She's completely in love with him. It was obvious that she loved him. I could see the way she looked at him. The way he looked at her. Maybe I was better off not trying anymore. I heard a ring from my computer desk. It was my phone ringing from an unknown number. I hated thoughs. There where those times where fans would call from getting a hold of my number. Never know what to expect. "Hello?" I rubbed the back of my head. "Jeydon?" There was another guys voice on the other line. It sounded vaguely familiar. "Who's this?" "Justin. Have you heard from Frances?" Why was he calling me? "Justin? Why? What happened?" "I woke up and looked all around the house, couldn't find her, so I texted her, called her and nothing." "What?! She would have a reason." Were they sleeping together? Not that it's a shocker. They've probably done it plenty of times. Things that happened, I really don't want to know. I was jumping into my jeans now with the phone on my shoulder. "I know. Rebecca doesn't know either, but I'm about to go look for her." "Wait up, I'll be over in a minute." I heard a click on the other end and stuffed my phone into my pocket. "Be back in a little bit mom. Gotta go do something." I grabbed my car keys from the kitchen table and bolted to the door. "Better explain when you get back." When I jumped out of the car, Justin was talking to Rebecca in the door step. "You called Jeydon?" Rebecca was holding on to Justin's arms. "Oh honnie, you don't have to look." She came and gave me a hug. "Yes I do." I glanced at Justin and threw my head back towards the car and he nodded walking towards it. "Well be back in a bit. Don't worry." I waved as I ran to the passenger seat which Justin had seated himself there. "Uh shotgun, Man." I gave him a look before he rolled his eyes at me. We were on the road when I thought of something. "I think I have an idea where she is." "Why didn't you say that before! Shit...I hope she's ok." He started biting his nails as I gripped the steering wheel harder. Me too.
This place was so peaceful. Prefect enough to think. I had to get away from things right now. Not tell anyone where I was so I could be alone and think. Except my mom of course so I wouldn't get grounded for the rest of my life. Good thing she could lie. I was never able to get my opinions in my head with everyone around me. I stared up at the gray blue sky. It was shady today. I frowned at the sky as I kicked my feet in the water below me. This dock was one of my favorite places. Jeydon and I used to come here a lot as kids. We haven't done it in a while and I missed that. Especially that relationship I had with him. Now that we've gotten older it hasn't been the same. With school piling up and our feelings we have for each other. The old times where much easier. I was starting to not care about liking him anymore. Was it meant to be? I laid back and closed my eyes letting the breeze blow by through my messy bun, my sweatshirt and rolled up jeans. I moved my arms back and forth on the tile with my feet moving in the same motion. My relaxation was interrupted by a rustling in the bushes. I sprang up and swerved around to see the two people who I wanted to get away from. I rolled my eyes and turned around ignoring them. "There she is!" I heard Jeydon. "What the fuck?! We've been looking for you." Justin came up next to my right as Jeydon came up to my left. "Oh, I know." I left my poker face on. "You know? She fucking knows." Justin nodded at Jeydon. "Well that's great, but your mom is worried and so were we. What are you doing?" "Thinking and my mom knows." I looked at my nails. There was a pause. "What?" Jeydon dropped his hands. "Yeah, she lied for me so I could go some where peaceful. I needed to have some time to myself." I gave them a small smile at both of them and looked away. "You guys can join me, I guess. Now that you're here." I chuckled. Justin crouched down and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "Why didn't you just tell us? It's not like we wouldn't of let you go somewhere by yourself." "Here we go again." Jeydon scuffed. "What?" Justin stood up. "With this fake mushy stuff you do. It's kinda gross." Jeydon put his hands in his pockets. "Oh shut up. Like you know how to treat her." "Excuse you?" "OH MY GOSH! This is what I mean about being by myself. See what you're doing?" I stood up before anything started up. I shook my head and brushed past them. "Hey wait!" They almost said in sync. "Let me take you home." Justin put a hand on my back. "YOU?" Jeydon gave him a crazy look. "It's my damn car." Justin looked like he said something wrong. "I'm good. I'll just walk." I walked faster back on the path with out looking if they were following. Why do I feel like I complain too much? When I got through the front door, my mom gave me a smile and embraced me as I just hung there. "I knew they would find me sooner or later." I looked over at them on the couch as they stared at me. Kenny was now on the lounge chair next to the couch looking too. "I keeped it a secret." My mom winked at me when she let go. "Yes you did, mom." I smiled. "Thanks." I turned around and dragged my feet to the stairs after I kicked my shoes off. "Aren't you gonna-" Jeydon was about to say. "Let her go." Justin cut him off.
"We gotta go, Justin. Scooter just called. He's trying to stay cool about it. He knows you had good intentions." Kenny was putting on his shoes by the front door. "We have to get everything set for the tour next week." "Are you serious? Already?" I put my hands through my hair and stood up. "Yep. We'll say goodbye before we leave. I'll make sure of it." Kenny put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. I sighed and grabbed my jacket from the couch and threw it on along with my Supras. "We'll be seeing you?" Rebecca wrapped her arms around me for a hug. "Of course." Rebecca was like another mother. "Good. Do you want to say goodbye?" She pointed up the stairs. "Let her sleep." I smiled up the stairs and walked toward the door nodding at Jeydon. "See ya, Man." Jeydon wasn't all that bad once you got on his good side. "I'm leaving too." Jeydon gave Rebecca a quick hug as she rubbed his back and whispered, "I'll tell her to go see you later." then let go. "I'll come by later. If that's ok?" She nodded and we all walked out the door.
I suddenly snapped my eyes open and remembered Justin was leaving today. I was so out of it that I completely forgot about him staying here. "Fuck." I whispered to myself. I threw my sheets off and went around my bed to my window. When I saw that Justin's car was gone, I frowned and noticed it was some what sunny now. I glanced at the clock. I've been sleeping for about an hour on and off. It was now 1:00 in the afternoon on this Saturday. I looked in the mirror and rubbed my makeup that smeared off and headed down stairs. "Hey." My mom smiled at me while watching TV. She was watching the news. Of course it was a report on some poor kid who got murdered in there home. "Hey, I noticed Justin left." I sat down on the couch and itched my leg. "Jeydon too?" I looked around. Expecting him to be in the kitchen eating a sandwich. "When you went up stairs yeah, Justin had to get back and Jeydon's coming by later." "Ok, do you mind if I play XBOX?" I asked my mom. Maybe that will wake me up. "Sure!" My mom jested her hand toward the TV. I put in Black Ops that I was so completely into even though Jeydon and Justin could kick my ass at it anytime. I kept getting good kills and plays when I heard the door bell ring. I got up and walked to the door. "Hey." I showed my teeth in my smile I gave Jeydon when I opened the door. "Hey. You ok now?" "Ya! Come on in. I've been hooked on Black Ops for the last half an hour. Wanna play?" I walked over to the TV with Jeydon following. "Are you kidding? If I can kick your ass then yes." He laughed and I threw a control at him. "Play, Jey." I flipped him off. "Hey that rhymed!" He flipped me off too as we laughed. "Just pick your weapon of destruction and shit." I leaned back on my hands. "Will do." After we played a few rounds I had already beat him already. "Finally! For once." I pulled a pin out of my pocket and put my bangs back. "Aha!" I brushed my shoulders with my hands like it was no big deal. "Once." We laughed. Jeydon started tapping on his controller as I got some chips. "What kind?" Rumbling through the junk food cupboard, I found all different kinds. "Don't care." This is what I needed. Regular time with a friend who's been around forever. I grabbed my contorl as I sat back down. "Ok, let's have me beat you again."
The flash from the camera captures a moment The true essence beyond the angled illusion of what appears I etch for that shot to describe it all Zooming in to focus on the minute details Leaving out all else Both the pureness and innocence of the world are shown Deepest darkness and shameful regrets are pointed out Illuminated feelings flowing out in bursts Allowing you to escape and experience another life entirely Thoughts are displayed that might not have been thought originally Diverting your attention to something profound in its simplicity A tiny piece of how to view this world Another new perspective to peruse Brilliantly exposing the unexposed with uncanny ingenuity
Photography has become a way for me to delineate my inward self, my inner passion and love. It is how I view life, what I see in it, the ugly and beautiful things of nature, whether it is man or of the earth. It is my heart and what is inside of it, and how the neurons in my brain transmit that message to the thought and reasoning area of my brain, giving me the proper capability to interpret what I see, and determine if it is a part of my passionate and romantic art.
My art is self-image, functioning by emotion. The ocean, great lakes, and many other bodies of water and their waves, cold sensation, calm perception, and their relationship to stone of its fluidity. This relationship of water to stone giving stone a luminescent colouring in which the stone becomes one with the water, a unity of earth's equilibrium betwixt life and death, and another subject of my art.
Nature does not need me, but I do need it. It makes me feel rooted, like a mighty Sequoia tree; and if I have not photographed in a while, I feel rootless. My photography, my art, is a visual entrance into the water, in the earth. It is my way of fathoming absence. Black is that absence; it is intangible. Digging a futile, deep, dark hole into the earth makes nature look empty, the construction of a mandated city. A whirlpool in the ocean with the black hole in the centre makes nature look empty, for it is destruction, whereas the deep, blue sea is full of an over abundance of life form cnidarians to large sea mammals.