sense of me
I've always the quite one. The weirdo you've never notice but scence I've learn how to focus. I've realize why I shut myself up. I have too big of a mouth and too much love to burn out. I've seen it all before. I guess I was that girl. So what if I just sat quietly and not speak to anyone who approached me. you'd never notice the pain behind that smile. It's burned out….burned out. Crowed my head again. All I can do is hurt over and over. I'm hurting u, myself and him. la la la la la la la. This morning I told myself I could change but all I ever do if screw it up. Maybe this time, oh wait today but I can't I have failed u again and again. I just can't shut my big mouth. Words come out like knifes that scar u and leave you with the pain of guilty lies. I'm drowning in blood. Too much emotions going through my heart. Pain, love, guilt… and lots of other things. Too much overwhelming me. I'll be the girl who cries herself to sleep at night rethinking these memories. I've always been the
Forgotten girl.I was the forgotten girl.Forgotten girl.9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I've been used and discarded, I've got nothing left.
I'm exhausted and emotional.
I'm numb from the pain, although it still stings a bit.
Then you came into my life..
You took away all the hurt
You made me happy again
Even made me feel better about my self
You protected me from what i've been hiding from my entire life.
Ode to SoulsOde to Souls5 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
our society is built on the binary of proper lines.
spotless, picturesque, sanitary lives trailing cycle upon cycle of symmetry.
yet we function better without framed order.
we have wanderlust built into our core; we bleed out the seasons when it suits us.
our lives are made of tire treds feeding the clouded sunset, skies pouring violently over
ravenous hearts seeking catharsis.
the nyctophiliac, the heliophiliac.
the nemophilist, the pluviophile.
if we breathed in your blank normalcy, we'd crumble and die.
I don't feel alive.I feel really numb..I don't feel alive.8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I realize that I exist,
yet I don't feel alive.
I feel so lost, lost inside my own thoughts.
I don't feel like crying,
I also don't feel like smiling.
Can I just fall asleep forever?
ResonateI want to be more than justResonate8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
a tangle of arteries and cartilage
I want to be pink sunsets,
poppy tendrils, and puzzle pieces:
things not to be lost in the folds of time
or buried to feed summer grasses;
I want to mean something
through the small things,
so even if this poem is forgotten
amongst greater works,
and even if my small deeds are lost
amid the grandiose ones,
I will still resonate;
I will resonate in the way
that I held my daughter’s hand
and braided her hair into plaits,
in the way that I spoke
gently and with a honey tongue,
in the way that I carried myself
like I had never felt grief’s weight
settle on my birdlike shoulders;
And when you cannot recall
the exact color of my eyes,
the sound of my smile,
or the look of my laugh,
I hope you will not forget me entirely,
I hope I will resonate with you.
Lesbian.I chose this life.Lesbian.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I chose to set myself up as an Outcast.
I chose to hear my best friends
Tell me that I am going to hell.
I chose to hear the words Dyke and Faggot
Spat through scornful lips in my direction.
I chose to lose the love of my Family.
To hear them say that I was sick.
That I was wrong.
I chose to place the dreams
Of marrying the person I love
In a file marked as classified
By popular demand.
I chose to have the doors of my church
Slammed in my face
Because apparently, I am the exception to
"Love your fellow man."
I chose to be chastised
For holding hands in public.
I chose to look over my shoulder
At every corner
Afraid for my life simply because
I fell in love.
I chose this life.
I chose to be a Lesbian.
SuicideSuicide2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You've had yet another horrible day. You're just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you've written and rewritten over and over and over. You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time.
A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don't answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you're asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She's screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that "Mommy is crying and sissy won't wake up." Your dad runs to your room. He looks at y
pre-apocalyptic response/logi don't understand the sentimental value of these arrangements,pre-apocalyptic response/log3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
we are foreign even to each other,
although i try to fit into your skin
suffocatingly synthetic slimy heavy and
tadpoles blasting out of my throat,
as far apart as planets can be
and you are not the world but a world and even then
black hole of a raindrop
as we all are when/(unless) we begin; i am making sounds
ending this on a flat d-drone; you see how hard it is for me
to understand mechanics; adream in
uncircumcised unsubsidized grea
Today, I DiedToday, I died.Today, I Died5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
They strung me up on a rainbow rope
And lit a fire beneath my feet.
Actually, I'm enjoying the warmth.
Symphony of the DeadHe sits on the bed, bent over with his fingers interlaced on top of his head. Her words echoing down the hallway are still burning in his ears. Why does daddy like making me afraid of him? The man lowers his hands and lifts one of them to still his trembling lips. I'm scared he's going to hurt me. He blinks, trying desperately to hold the tears back. Does daddy even love me Mama? The man gives up and starts to weep uncontrollably, his back shaking with every sob. Why does he scream at me so much? He looks up and his words are barely audible. "I'm so sorry." The man can taste salty tears on his lips. Mama, I'm so scared. I want to die. He can still see her sitting there wearing a white night gown, her dead mother's dress spread on her lap. Mama I'm coming to you. "No!" He screams, reaching for something that's no longer there. I love you Mama. The girl says as she lifts the knife with quivering hands, and plunges it into her heSymphony of the Dead2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
PinholesFaltering wordsPinholes9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
and blemished sight
in the night...
to tear that sky
Terror in TearsShe was clutching his dark blue hoodie with fervor, as though the only thing keeping her body from bursting open from nerves was the ardor grip she kept on his physical being. She was still horribly distraught, even after the sobs of her brother had quieted down and he came to her room to hold her in his arms, gently caressing her cheeks to rid her of her tears while neglecting his own.Terror in Tears1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
She didn’t understand. All she had done was come home fifteen minutes late. Her bus had gotten a late start from the school because one of the boys had decided to chance a suspension for a day of infamy by pulling the fire alarm during the last bell. It wasn’t like she had gone to play hooky or had gotten herself hurt.
So why was her brother gripping his head so hard that his fingertips were bloody when she got home? Why was he weeping and moaning utter gibberish? Why did he insist on continuing his unsettling back and forth rocking, even when she told him what happened and showed him that s
WritingI am a writerWriting7 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I write what
I wish I could say
Trapping my feelings
On paper everyday
I am a writer
I write what
I see around me
My eyes; wide open
Have set me free
I am a writer
I write what
I need to do
Clear and confused
Just give me a clue
I am a writer
I write what I feel
And I feel what I write
But when I stop feeling
I stop writing
And my little world
I am a writer
Who writes to find reason
And maybe even some treason
In this world
Where insanity rules
Behind a piece of paper marked:
"Here are the fools"
GermanyxReader-New FriendsGermanyxReader-New Friends2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
It was the first day of school, and you were now officially in sixth grade. You were really excited, for you hoped you'd make some really good friends, and maybe even get a boyfriend.
That morning, you had gotten up very refreshed, and had gotten ready quicker than normal, nearly startling your parents. Once you were ready, you headed out of the door to your bus stop, which was at the corner of the street, facing another, much busier road.
At the stop, was a boy you had never seen before, with another, much older looking albino. You approached them suspiciously; the words 'never trust strangers' ringing in your head. After a better look, you decided to come right up to them, brushing your (h/c) hair back so as to not block out your (e/c) eyes.
"Hello? Are you two riding the bus?" you asked, a small hint of fear in your voice.
The albino boy turned and looked at you, dumbfounded at first, but then suddenly breaking out into a devilish laug
Scars and SoapHe has such soft skin, Ebony thought to herself.Scars and Soap2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
She was sitting on a twist of metal embedded in the ground, the dingy red of its form reflecting on the crystalline surface of nearby water. Her metallic fingers twiddled in the flowers, gently caressing the pale petals that would soon decorate the entire expanse of the area.
They were modest little flowers. Fresh from the ground and eager to bathe the barren world in color. In fact, everything around the little pond Ebony and Male had decided to rest at was beginning to show signs of life. Little sprouts could be seen tentatively peaking from under scraps of metal and concrete. Green moss and vines were tenaciously climbing up the sides of the crumbling buildings. Cool, clean water was gently lapping at Ebony’s shoes. It was so serene it was almost surreal.
A small smile graced Ebony’s glossy lips. It was good that she and Male had decided to rest here. It was unusual to come across a place this untouched by the horro
DemonsThe worst kind of demonsDemons10 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Are the kind that are birthed within you,
The kind that claw and bite their way from
Never allowing you to
Catch your breath.
They are born from your memories
From your experience-
And they follow you
And in light
Flitting from shadow to shadow
Casting their own
Demolishing from the core.
And beg for release
Beg for a moment without
The slicing claws,
The snapping teeth
The shattering pain…
Until you realize you cannot escape
You cannot run
Or even die
To rid yourself of them.
There is only one thing you can do:
Stand and fight.
Site Update: Uplifting the Profile TabsIn our continuous effort to improve the deviantART experience, we're publishing weekly Site Updates to keep members informed and to gather feedback. Below is a list of recent changes to the site, bug fixes, and feedback that was brought up by members in the last Site Update.Site Update: Uplifting the Profile Tabs1 year ago in DeviantART Announcements More Like This
Uplifting the Profile Tabs (Beta Testers)
As part of an initiative to make deviantART more user-friendly and clearer to new users, tabs on the Profile Page have received a visual and functional uplift! The tabs on Profile Pages (Gallery, Prints, Favourites, and Journal) have been visually improved for consistency, cleanliness, and a more modern appearance. Navigation elements have been moved to the left column of the page, and the placement of major elements of each tab have been aligned so that the transition from one tab of one's Profile to anot
The Family Has Been InformedBullets that are too far away to hear back homeThe Family Has Been Informed5 months ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
But words that will forever ring just as loud in my ears
Delivered from the lips of a uniformed man
The sympathetic sentence any mother fears to hear
I turn away as if ignoring his presence
Will make this unwanted reality go away
But he repeats that he is sorry for my loss
Those words are the last thing I remember of that day
I find myself looking out of the back yard window
On the swings in the garden I still see my boy play
I am bringing drinks out to him and his brothers
Under the sun, on the grass, on endless summer days
Those memories like photographs in frames on the wall
Now show my son with a wife and child of his own
A husband and father torn from their loving arms
In to the mass grave-in-waiting of a war zone
His old bedroom was already a shrine to him
Even before his blood soaked deep in to the desert sands
We waited for him to return from his first tour
Knowing the boy we’d said goodbye to would come home a man
HitsuHina-Sick Days"Achoo!" Hinamori Momo reached for the box of tissues on her right.HitsuHina-Sick Days3 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
For the past week, Momo had been sick. She wasn't sure where she had got the cold from but Unohana had given her specific instructions.
"Hinamori fukutachiou. Im afraid that you're not allowed to go out for the next several weeks. Perhaps it would be better to get someone to take care of you until your better."
Is what she had said to her. When Unohana had told her that, the first person to come to her mind was Hitsugaya Toshiro. Since they were childhood friends, she thought it was the best idea. But now, sitting in her room, with a box of tissues beside her, and her hair and clothes all messed up, she wasn't so sure it was a good idea.
Besides ,thought Momo, Shiro-chan has better things to do then to take care of me.
Just as she thought that, there was a knock on her door. "Come in," she said, her voice hoarse before she broke into a coughing fit.
Public Service Announcement by LovesBelliesThis is an actual true story Names have changed, but this is a true story based on my own real lifePublic Service Announcement by LovesBellies2 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
I used to have a social studies class with a girl named (not really) Lexi. She was a very pretty girl with nice, well-kept black hair and an average not-ugly face. I really liked her personality and I really like her body most of all. She had a very well-developed amazing ass, almost always shown through a amazing pair of yoga pants or skinny jeans, thick (but not fat) thighs, and I'd guesstimate her bra size was a high C or low D. (Sorry if that's creepy but I just thought about the size to help the audience picture her bust better.) Lexi had a little gut that was not too pronounced but it had a definite perky little bulge too it, usually obvious through her skin tight sexy V-necks. I sweet-talked her whenever I could, and I once was right in front of her when she scratched her stomach, pulling up her shirt so I could see her deep navel. I really liked it. Shortly afterward, Lexi
I Lost A Friend TodayI lost a friend today, and my heart will never heal.I Lost A Friend Today1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I almost cried, though I expect to cry later, when it sets in.
I lost a friend today, and I don't know how to deal.
I almost lied, but that would be wrong, though I don't believe in sin.
I lost a friend today, and my days will never be the same
I almost choked, though I expect it will happen, when I am alone
I lost a friend today, and I will miss our secret game
I almost broke, but it is coming, from my eyes to my bones
I lost a friend today, and my heart will never heal.
I almost abide, though my mind says no, I can't breathe in air
I lost a friend today, and this poem is how I will deal
I almost cried, at the beginning, but now I feel the tears.