Days of PainI'm just so tired of this pain,Days of Pain2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Tired of burying it every day,
Having it kill my insides,
Smothering me when I feel okay,
I hate how I need a crutch,
But on my own it's just way too much.
This burden weighs down my soul,
It holds me beneath waves of pain,
Every time I try to breathe,
The toxin just gets in again,
Somehow it flows through my veins,
Leaving my heart streaked with inky stains.
Why won't the darkness recede,
Where is the light from my burning sun,
I just want to escape,
I'm far beyond just coming undone,
It's so hard to remain strong,
When your world feels terribly wrong.
It isn't right that I feel like a weight,
Dragging my close friends down,
So I attempt to keep things inside,
But on my own I'm likely to drown,
These poisoned waves sap my soul,
And when I'm weak I can lose control.
Keeping it together is very hard,
All I want is normality,
To experience days free of hurt,
I just want to be relaxed and free,
This place is bad for my health,
Maybe soon I'll feel like myse
I really do try...I really care a bout youI really do try...2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I really do
I try so hard
You just's don't see it!
Why wont you see I try so hard
I try to be yours
I try to be what you want
I really do try...
HurtingI know what I've doneHurting2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And for that I'm sorry
For my actions and mine alone
Have caused you to worry
I shall leave you alone
To avoid causing you further grief
Being with you has been fun
Even though our time together was brief
The future holds many mysteries
Will we ever meet again?
If so, I promise to be a changed man
One that is no longer insane
Secrets.I share my secrets with you --Secrets.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Well I share most of them.
But not all.
I can't share all of them;
Not in letters-- not in type on a screen.
Nor by telephone or text.
Some secrets must be shared face to face,
If spoken aloud they might shatter,
They must be whispered like sweet nothings
In embraces and intimacy
Held in those little moments when the world stops
And only our hearts keep beating.
I share my secrets with you --
Well I share most of them.
But not all.
Don't CryIll smile,Don't Cry7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Although Im crying inside,
Because thats what you all want to see.
Dont Cry you tell me,
So Ill bottle it up inside,
I smile to make you happy,
Because thats all that matters.
Im dying inside,
But Ill smile
Because thats what makes you happy.
And thats all that matters,
Dont Cry you tell me,
So Ill keep all these
Unhealthy, poisonous tears
Locked in my heart.
Ill seem happy for you,
Because thats what you want,
I wont cry
I wont cry anymore.
No more tears
Unleashed from my breaking heart,
Because you dont want me to cry.
So I wont cry,
Because it makes you happier.
And I want you to be happy
Even if I must suffer my silent misery
Ill be better off if youre happy.
Because my happiness does not matter,
It is yours that counts.
Dont Cry you tell me,
Am I really okay?"Hey. How are you doing today?"Am I really okay?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Alone. Miserable. Depressed. Misunderstood.
Sad. Desperate. Abandoned. Hopeless.
Terrified. Reasonless. Sorrowful. Ugly.
Stupid. Loser. Scarred. Loner.
Disgraceful. Pitiful. Hated. Watcher.
Hater. Homeless. Loveless. Unworthy.
Retarded. Bitch. Slut. Afraid. Alone.
some die lookin' for a hand to hold.and this storm has been raging for weeks,some die lookin' for a hand to hold.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but you gave me your eyes, you didn't see.
we loved the same way a symphony crescendos,
softly at first, all smooth skin and gentle whispers.
and then so loud, it hits you harder than death.
you cant sleep at night, choking on sobs and crying out like a banshee,
the unmistakable call of those all alone in love.
DreamsDreams are like a fantasy,Dreams2 years ago in Visual & Found Poetry More Like This
Dreams are like a reality,
Dreams are the memories of the past,
Dreams are the memories of the future,
Dreams make you think of many things.
You can dream the unmanageable,
You can dream the impossible,
You can dream whatever you want.
But sometimes you feel like you're being controlled
You feel like someone is watching you,
You feel like there's someone else other than yourself,
And inside your dreams too.
Try to control your dreams,
Try to control your emotions,
Try to control the place,
Try to go into the memory of the past.
For there is still time to dream,
For there is still time to think,
For there is still time to sleep.
ThoughtsI'm so sick of not being perfectThoughts1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'm sick of hurting people
I'm tired of doing nothing right
I'm tired of holding back
Let me scream
Let me lash out
Let me show you the other side of me
And try telling me you still know me
Everything confined inside
It builds until I almost burst
My eyes grow heavy
My fingers claw at my arms
Tear out my hair
Twitch for the blade
I hold back
But I can only hold so much
Then I do it again
I screw up
And I fall again
Self-loathing is almost a comfort
I often wonder why
Why am I this way
Why am I messed up
Answers won't be found
I'm sick of hating myself
I'm sick of hiding it too
I'm just tired of the pain
I'm tired of taking it out on myself
Let me hide in the dark
Let me face it once again
Only through self-destruction
Can I build the true me
I wish I wasn't this way
I wish I knew how to stop it
But it's there
I only hope you still accept me
I find comfort in one
Who's eyes aren't blind through my self-hatred
MirrorWhat do you see,Mirror2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
when you look into your reflection?
Do you see a pretty, perfect face?
The face of a confident person?
Do you see what you can achieve?
What you can conquer?
Do you see the person that everyone knows,
and the person everyone loves?
For me it’s different.
I see nothing worthwhile.
I see cracks in the mirror,
where all my dreams had been shattered.
Shards of the mirror sit around me,
as I count out the days.
I count them out as if I'm insane,
waiting for God to take me from this world.
I run my finger along the glass’ edge,
feeling the sweetness of it’s touch.
Pulling open my skin, and letting the blood go,
is like letting out a bird.
Looking up at the mirror’s pieces,
my eyes wandering the broken glass.
I notice there is nothing there,
And that’s what the world must see in me.
Your Feline Shadow...Go ahead and tell me,Your Feline Shadow...1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Your darkest deepest fear,
Whisper it, type it slow,
And never let them hear
Because you know how much I care,
You know what I really mean,
And because I care so deeply,
You're secret's safe with me.
Go ahead and tell me,
Who you really love,
Whisper it, and type it slow,
And never let them know
Because you know that I still care,
So I'll never tell you no,
I'll support your whims on hand,
And never to let go.
So go ahead and tie the string,
Draw the face of my true soul,
Tickle, laugh, and trick me, boy,
But you have to know,
That these games make it difficult,
They make it oh so hard
I care for you,
And yet you're not sure..... who you care for
And I can't let go
I'll be here,
Waiting, smiling, laughing, and playing as always seen.
I'll be here,
Hoping, trusting, caring, and saying what I mean
And you'll be there,
Swaying to and fro,
Never knowing who to love
I'm your feline shadow, boy,
Don't Cry Please...No more crying, I can't take it.Don't Cry Please...2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It hurts me to see those tears streaming down your face.
I'd fix everything for you if I could.
I'd trade my world for yours any day.
I'd give you my life,
Just to see you happy.
And so you don't have to go through any more pain.
Don't you see I'd do anything for you?
Can we please just be happy about that?
No more crying...
ComplicateToo often in our livesComplicate2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We complicate things,
Cluttering our minds and hearts
With useless worries and fears.
Instead of drinking in the Summer sun
Or becoming mesmerized by your coffee,
You worry about getting sunburnt
And consuming too much caffeine.
We forget to take pleasure
In a simple hello and goodbye;
A smile shared, an "I love you",
A hug given for no reason.
We analyse every look and smile
Since each syllable means something;
Even a tiny thing such as an emoticon
Has a deeper meaning these days.
A simple "how are you" or "why"
Can be seen as offensive,
As too intrusive, as nosy,
Too demanding and suspicious.
Just talking to someone of the opposite gender
For more than a few minutes
Will have people automatically assuming
The two of you are in a relationship.
Instead of enjoying the music,
We criticize the lyrics, discuss the tune,
Making the song so technical,
Sucking it dry of any emotion.
Just sitting alone on your bed
Listening to "Florence and the Machine"
Is an effective
A True FriendA true friend is one that is by your sideA True Friend2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A true friend is one that will not hide
No matter where your presence
He/she will always be there, even if only in essence
Now that you know who your true friend is
Enjoy your times together, like a moment of fizz
Remember what it was like as a child
Be young, free, careless and wild
For your happiness is of the utmost concern
Of any true friend, that is what they truly yearn
No escapeA frighting scream echos in my headNo escape2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
No way to escape the pain of the words you have said
A burning sensation scarring the heart
You spoke your words, as if an art
All starting once you came
My suffering only a stain
Try againScream in my face andTry again2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Try to strip away my courage.
You should know that
That old trick is too worn out.
My walls won't break.
They were built for you.
You should know that
You can't hurt me agian.
Nameless ThingI've sat at this café so long that the waitress is starting to wonderNameless Thing2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
who this strange person is at table six who puts creamer in her
coffee and then forgets to stir it every time.
[She knows when it's time for a refill because that last sip
comes with a wince and a snarking-back of cold coffee-grinds.]
The cook's been out twice to catch a glimpse of this mysterious customer
who only orders condiments and utensils, and writes
synonyms for "synonym" in the window haze,
watching the I's cry.
I lean my chin in my hand and watch the world;
listen to the click of heels on linoleum,
the slamming shut of windows and descending-swish of blinds.
It's all just so mundane.
I wish to hear the music again; the metaphors and anecdotes:
babble translating to verse.
The man at the table next to me knits;
the muscles in his arms throbbing to the drone and jumble
of dishwashers and air-conditioners.
Music notes lay buried in his fingertips,
inked into his flesh, most likely, during a bout of
FriendsI have not been treating myself very well lately.Friends2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I say I think I deserve it, all the pain.
They say I really don't
They say It doesn't truly solve anything, or take the hurt away
But they don't know that for those few seconds, everything is alright
They ask whats my issues, my reasoning
I cant answer.
I don't know whats wrong, but I know nothing is right.
They think I'm a liar
But I couldn't say the truth without crying
They think I meant to break the promises,
Do they know how hard I try?
But again and again, I'll swear to never do it again.
I sit on the edge of my bed and swear its the last time.
As the lies pile up and the smiles slowly break, They get angry.
They lose understanding and forget our friendship.
"Its not fair to us!"
I know, Its my fault.
Every time I choke out an apology pushes then away
Do they even care or do they think it's just they're job?
Mistakes.By the time you realized what you had done,Mistakes.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
it was far too late.
You set the stone rolling before you knew
it couldn't be stopped.
And with the passing day, you sat there,
knees pulled to your chest and sobbing,
with the hair you never cease to rip out of your skull surrounding you,
lamenting your choice.
You can't turn back time.
I Need A Room...where I can screamI Need A Room...1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
where I can cry
where I can curl up in a ball and whine
where I can break
where I can rip out my heart
where my emotions will stop
Can My Death?Can my death end hate crimes?Can My Death?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Can my death stop the war in Iraq?
Can my death cure AIDS?
Can my death help the kids in africa?
Can my death end racism?
Can my death stop animal cruelty?
Can my death cure cancer?
Can my death help homeless people?
No, my death won't solve any of this.
But it will save me from this living hell.
AloneI'm not strong. I'm not brave.Alone2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'm weak. I'm a coward.
Dont tell me I'm wrong
I know I'm not.
I'm really not OK. I cant pretend
I cant hide anymore
Its all too much
I'm crashing down hard.
I cant do it anymore
Its gotten to hard
Its gone too far
Cant you see?
ContinueWhen the world strikes you down,Continue2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
When your smile becomes a frown,
When you stumble and fall,
When you wager and lose all,
When the world laughs at you,
When many becomes few,
There's nothing else to do except...