Loki Memoirs 52Loki Memoirs 52
Thor had taken me to his chambers to rest. I still did not feel so well after being out in the cold in frost giant skin. For some reason it made me weaken, perhaps I am just unable to control it. Mother's magic did hide it from me for all of my youth so it would only make sense I would not be able to feel strongly with it upon me. I did not think too much on it, I was more interested in the fact I could see again. In order to do so though, I had to be in my frost giant skin. A strange conundrum it was.
"Thor, do you think if I remain cold I can see?" I had asked him to see what his thoughts were on it. He was sitting in his armchair near the fireplace.
"I think it is a possibility. I rather you not become ill from the cold though," he told me in a warming manner.
"I see, I shall do what I can to remain safe within the palace," I shivered thinking of the snowstorm outside. "Could you get me
Loki Memoirs 53Loki Memoirs 53Loki Memoirs 533 years ago in Settings More Like This
I tossed and turned all night, I was sure that Thor was going to tell me to go sleep in my chambers. He was patient with me though, every time I would wake up he was there holding me and telling me it was alright. I had lost count of the times he had done so tonight. Neither of us were to get sleep if it kept on.
I was making us miserable so I rolled to the edge of the bed and pulled myself to my feet. I have found that I have gotten pretty good at finding my way around Thor's room. Grabbing one of the blankets and sitting down on an upholstered lounge chair, I tiredly laid back in it and tried to sleep. I kept having waking fits; by the time I finally had fallen into a light doze, I could hear the corridors were bustling with life. It must be morning already...
Thor shifted in his bed and then I could hear him sit up, "Loki?" he paused. "Why are you over in the lounge? You should have not left bed..." he had gotten up and walked over
Loki Memoirs 49Loki Memoirs 49Loki Memoirs 493 years ago in Settings More Like This
I shifted slightly while lying in Thor's embrace, he must have been still asleep because he did not move. I listened to his heart beat as we lay together, it was a wonder how someone so strong could be so soft as well. Thor's arm was still wrapped around my waist and I snuggled into his warmth. After a few moments, his fingers started to flutter in my curves of my lower back. Ah... he was pretending to sleep, I smiled.
"You are much to kind too me," I whispered to him and sighed softly, relaxed.
"I must do what I can to keep my love happy, do I not?" he kissed my forehead and I looked up to where his face would be.
"I may not be able to see brother, but I can tell you have a smile upon your face," I opened my eyes for him. He took his free hand and stroked my face.
"I will never tire of your eyes or body, exquisite they are," he then kissed my lips. When we parted a knock came to Thor's door.
"Who goes there?" Thor spoke clearly toward the d
Loki Memoirs 41Loki Memoirs 41Loki Memoirs 413 years ago in Settings More Like This
It has been a few days now since Thor had come looking for me. Mother has been very kind to bring my meals to my room and I feel much better than I did when I was placed in the dungeons. Even for some time I could sense she wanted to speak with me, after all that has happened I'm sure she would like to at least talk about it.
One day she had come with my lunch meal and set it on my nightstand. I grabbed hold of her left wrist and she looked me in the eyes. "Mother, I believe you would like to speak with me," I told her plainly. She blinked and sat at the edge of my bed.
"I do. How did you and Thor...become so close?" it was a simple question but maybe she asked it out of curiosity of her own mothering to us. She may have very well been blaming herself for all of this.
"Thor and I have always been close mother, it was not until late that we realized our feelings for each
Loki Memoirs 39Loki Memoirs 39Loki Memoirs 393 years ago in Settings More Like This
Days have turned into weeks. I refused to accept any generosity from guards or sediments from caretakers. I cared not what happened to myself no longer, I welcomed death willingly now. My world had been turned upside down and I could not take it any longer. I prayed for my sweet release from this pain in which I called life, why must I suffer when I have already endured so much.
I knew not what was happening beyond my prison, for all I knew dark elves may have taken over. Sighing, the thousands of times that I have, I came to the conclusion I was to be punished for becoming an aid of Thor's fantasies. Deterring the crown prince from finding a suitable mate in producing a son for the throne after Thor himself, no doubt that will be a sentence for death.
I would cry at strange times, even though I could not tell if it was day or night. I would think of all the wrong th
Loki Memoirs 51Loki Memoirs 51Loki Memoirs 513 years ago in Settings More Like This
After sun high,
After Thor and I decided upon our promises to marry, we strode around in the gardens for some time. It was so quiet in the Yul season, save our boots crunching in the snow. It came to an abrupt end when we neared the forest on the far side of the gardens, the weather had turned and Thor decided it would be best to go back inside. As we walked in with the snowstorm hitting us, I could feel my mind becoming fuzzy.
"Thor..." I had stopped in my tracks placing a hand to my forehead.
"Loki, are you alright?" he asked concerned something was wrong.
"My..head, it feels unclear," I told him, rubbing my temple. The winds had picked up now and the snow that was falling was whipping at any exposed flesh. I felt weakened, what was happening? I fell to one knee feeling my legs go numb, but a chill went up my spine. That was strange as well, I have never gotten cold before after all I was a frost giant.
"Loki! Hey, come on. Let us get inside, the
Loki Memoirs 50 (special addition)Loki Memoirs 50Loki Memoirs 50 (special addition)3 years ago in Settings More Like This
PLEASE see description first!
After sun high,
After a bath and a good cleaning I had dressed myself with Thor's help. We had decided to spend the day in the palace gardens. Now one would think, why would you go to the gardens in the winter season? To be honest, it was quite beautiful during Yul. Thor had known it was my favorite place to visit during this time of the year.
Thor escorted me by holding my hand properly as a royal courting couple should. With my eyesight no more, I could have easily gotten lost but I trusted him to bring me to where I needed. Before we had stepped outside, Thor had carefully made sure my heavy cold season cloak was faceted around my neck and we walked out into the snow covered grounds.
As we walked I smiled at the sound of the crunching snow beneath our feet. I loved that sound, I loved Yul. It was the one time of the year I felt so very happy. Even the smell of the air was glorious, crisp and clean. I leaned onto Tho
Loki Memoirs 40Loki Memoirs 40Loki Memoirs 403 years ago in Settings More Like This
Thor griped my form and I could only stand letting him. I did not refuse him nor accept him, my face blank in expression. Father saw this, I could tell he sensed something was amiss. He waited for his eldest son to part from me, Thor looked to my face. He could see the sadness within.
"Loki? Did you not hear father, he said we are to stay together..." he grabbed hold of my forearms in excitement. I had the urge to pull away from him, I felt dirty. He was dirty to me...He lied to me. What else has he lied to me about? Does he even love me?
I nodded so that he would continue to speak. My mind was far from this throne room, it was reeling with all the possible lies Thor had told me. Since when did I lose my touch as the God of Mischief? He reached for my hand smiling to me, lacing his fingers within my own.
Loki Memoirs 38Loki Memoirs 38Loki Memoirs 383 years ago in Settings More Like This
I shivered while I tried to sleep, without my frost giant form I was like any other Asgardian. My eyes open and closed as time lapsed by, daybreak finally making its way through the thick tree canopy. I could see my breath as I staggered to my feet. I looked up at what little light that was coming down through a small clearing and walked gingerly toward it. My body ached from my mindless run, falling to my knees in the sunlight.
My mind made me feel as though all I had been doing all night was talking, but really I spoke very little. The mind becomes tired after so long of internal battles and even though I slept some, I still felt as though I had none. I looked up at the sunlight hoping for an answer to all the questions I had. What is to happen between Thor and I? Will we be able to see each other anymore? Will father disown me as his son?
Loki Memoirs 35Loki Memoirs 35Loki Memoirs 353 years ago in Settings More Like This
After sun high,
I awoke in my bed in my chambers, my shoulder wrapped carefully by a skilled healer. Thor was dozing in the chair next to my bed.
"Thor..." I spoke softly, hoping he would hear me. He flinched and his eyes opened to see my own.
"Ah...you are awake, I am glad," he gently took my hand. He stroked his thumb over the top of it, "Loki, what had happened? Who has hurt you?"
"You would not understand Thor," I looked away from him, making sure to not make eye contact. My eyes started to burn. I could tell my tears were threatening to return.
"Try me," he looked sternly at me, I now turned to look at him. A lone tear ran down my cheek.
"You will not understand..." I repeated to him. "You cannot understand because it is a pain you have not known," I continued.
"I can try... why is this so difficult? Why do you believe I will not understand..." he asked.
Loki Memoirs 34Loki Memoirs 34Loki Memoirs 343 years ago in Settings More Like This
Thor had bathed in my lavatory already and was dressing in my bed chamber as I slipped into the bathing room myself to clean up. I ran the water to a warmer than normal bath, my muscles were a bit soar. A nice hot bath would cure me of it. I removed my robe and slipped into the water, sitting on the underwater ledge. It was indeed refreshing and it was just what I needed. I sighed contently.
Footsteps came up behind my left and I tilted my head slightly to see Thor standing in his full riding fatigues. He knelt down beside me, scooping a hand full of water up and pouring it over my shoulder. I smiled at him and closed my eyes letting the water loosen my muscles.
"Let me know when you are ready to leave, I will go check on the horses," he leaned in and kissed my cheek but before he could pull away I laid a hand to his face softly.
"Alright, I wil
Loki Memoirs 31Loki Memoirs 31Loki Memoirs 313 years ago in Settings More Like This
I had spent my last evening of life awake. I do not think many would be able to sleep if they knew their death was to come upon morning. In all the time I stayed in this prison hel hole, I had not been able to escape with magic. Try as I might, I could not. The bracers, anklets and arm bands were more than just for looks...they kept me from my magic and they would not come off. I should have saw that coming, but I was a fool.
I sighed rubbing my forehead, I was tired. My body wanted rest, but I knew soon it would have eternal rest so it did not matter to me. My only regret at this moment was that I did not let Thor have his memory back. I closed my eyes reminiscing the kisses he placed in my soft spot of my neck that night. It made me tremble and let a quavering breath out. Why is it that he was able to affect me so even when he was not with me
Loki Memoirs 27Loki Memoirs 27Loki Memoirs 273 years ago in Settings More Like This
I had woken to soft steps coming to my chamber's door, then a knock. I looked to my portico to see it was already dark out, then my gaze went back to my door. The knock came again.
"Brother? Are you there? I have come to check on you," he sounded concerned. I waved my hand at the door realizing I had to face him eventually. Now that I was able to sleep off most of my broken heart's painful stabs, I figured now was better than any time to face Thor.
He turned the door handle and peeked inside, "Oh... you were asleep? I am sorry I woke you, I will let mother know you are not well," he made to close the door again when I called his name.
"Thor," he looked up at me once more.
"Yes, did you need anything? I can get it for you," he smiled warmly. It was very difficult to look at him with those eyes and that smile, it almost made me cry again.
Loki Memoirs 37Loki Memoirs 37Loki Memoirs 373 years ago in Settings More Like This
"Thor? Loki? W-what... on Asgard are you doing!" Mother stood in the doorway slamming my door closed behind her. We quickly separated and I tried to cover my nude chest as if it was inappropriate for a male. She came up to me and her eyes could have killed me...
"What is the meaning of this?" she gestured toward myself and Thor. I was too flustered to respond to her, my cheeks burning on my face. I could only stare at the floor, By all the gods in Asgard...why did she have to find out? Why were we so stupid to leave the door unlocked?
"Tell me..." she knelt down beside the bed placing her hand on my knee.
"Mother, I..." I could not find the words. Instead, Thor spoke up. Something I did not expect of him at all.
"Mother, it is as simple as what you have seen. I love Loki and he loves me..." she looked up to Thor's face.
Loki Memoirs 29Loki Memoirs 29Loki Memoirs 293 years ago in Settings More Like This
"What?..." Thor looked at me confused. "What say you?" I could only shake my head.
"Thor, there is nothing that can be fixed...It must remain broken," I told him cryptically.
"I must fix this, what have I done? Please tell me," he gripped my forearms looking into my eyes desperate for an answer. I could only close my eyes and shake my head.
"Please...leave. It hurts too much for me to see you," I tried to pull my arms away from his grip, but of course he would not let go. Thor would only hold onto my arms tighter.
"I will not leave this time...please, tell me," his eyes were sad to look into. The blue sapphires I had fallen in love with were in great concern. I pulled again to try and loosen his grip on my arms.
"It hurts me...to hurt you," I now told him. It was not a lie, It made sense to me probably not to him though.
"Speak plainly..." he now gripped bo
Loki Memoirs 11Loki Memoirs 11Loki Memoirs 113 years ago in Settings More Like This
At morn's light,
It was still dark out when I felt warmth wrap around my form. I had fallen asleep so quickly that evening, I did not want to feel the next day upon myself yet. I curled into my blankets, tucking my head into the pillows.
After a while, I felt the warmth around me grow. It was strange I did not remember being this large before. I rolled over in my bed to find I was not alone...
Thor was laying beside me in my bed, his arms wrapped around my waist. At first I was going to scold him and tell him to get out of my room, but after I saw he was asleep I could not. He may be annoying and anger me on a daily bases but he was absolutely adorable while asleep.
His hair was miraculously neat and lay softly against his face. I raised a hand to stroke a stray strand out of his eyes. After it was properly back in
Loki Memoirs 10Loki Memoirs 10Loki Memoirs 103 years ago in Settings More Like This
I had already returned to my chambers for the evening and was tired. I had just lain down upon my bed when a knock came to my door. I knew Thor would be coming seeing as I promised him I would help with the spell he was struggling with.
"Come in," I said softly closing my eyes, feeling the hours I have been awake in them.
"Brother as you had said earlier I..." he stopped mid sentence, noticing I was laying on top my bed. I was fully clothed of course but I opened my eyes looking up at him.
"Yes?" I replied.
"If you are too tired tonight I could come back tomorrow..." he spoke softly, he fidgeted slightly with his fingers.
"I had just been resting, I can still teach tonight. I just needed to let my mind relax for a moment, I grow overwhelmed sometimes and need to rest," I explained.
"Oh, well if you are sure," he came and sat beside me. "Are you sure, you lo
Loki Memoirs 60 (Special Chapter, The Ceremony)Loki Memoirs 60 (Special Chapter, The Ceremony)Loki Memoirs 60 (Special Chapter, The Ceremony)3 years ago in Settings More Like This
Nearly a year had passed,
It was Yul season again, my favorite time of the year. The snow had fallen heavily over the past night, blanketing the entire kingdom in white. The blizzard that had been upon Asgard for three days has finally lifted just before sunrise. I watched as the sun rose in the east on my portico. The sky now became a gold color, I smiled. It reminded me of Thor's warmth. I sighed content, I knew soon I would get to see him again but it was hard to remain patient.
Last night mother insisted upon marriage tradition; that Thor and I were to remain apart until the ceremony. When I was not with him I felt lonely and sad, I missed him terribly. After watching the sunrise fully I turned back to my chambers.
A line of hand maids were standing patiently as I enjoyed my sunrise. This was to be a special day and I was going to enjoy it to the fullest with my beloved.
"Milord, we have been assigned to make your c
Loki Memoirs 61Loki Memoirs 61Loki Memoirs 613 years ago in Settings More Like This
Thor and I sat at the head table next to mother and father. I felt I could never pull my eyes away from looking at him, I felt so drawn to just snuggle with him. But alas we did not want to get too undignified in front of the party guests, we could save it for later...
It was tradition that before anyone else could dance, the married couple must dance first. So after dinner was served and eaten, Thor stood from his seat as the servants cleared away the tables for dancing. He lent out his hand for me and I stood taking it.
"May I have this dance Loki?" he asked kissing my hand. I smiled as he did so.
"Oh course, my love," he now led me to the now cleared floor and we stood in the middle. He wrapped his hand around my waist as did I around his and gripped my other hand, fingers laced for leading. Soft music began to play as we swayed, I could only look into his beautiful oceans of eyes and follow his lead. &
Loki Memoirs 20Loki Memoirs 20Loki Memoirs 203 years ago in Settings More Like This
I had awoken to a dripping noise. After a few moments of hearing it I realized that my lounge chair had been pulled inside the overhang of my portico. It was raining out and it was a bit chilly. I cuddled into my blankets for warmth as I shivered. My door opened and closed behind me, footsteps came up beside me to my back.
"Brother? Oh... I am sorry. The feast was tonight and I had forgotten that you were still near your portico," Thor had knelt down beside me. To be honest, I was chilled to the bone. I could not stop shivering and tried to keep myself warm, the effort had made me even more exhausted.
"T-Thor? C..Could you...p-place me back in my b-bed?" my teeth chattered as I tried to speak. My voice was quiet and withdrawn.
"Now I feel terrible, I would not put it past you to contract a chill now. I wil
Loki Memoirs 56Loki Memoirs 56Loki Memoirs 563 years ago in Settings More Like This
After snuggling with Thor for a couple more hours, he shifted. I could tell he was getting up for the day so I murmured a soft purr into his ear before he sat up. His hand cupped my chin then our lips met. Our kiss got quite heated, tongues tasting each other and hands roaming over the other's body. I wanted to continue but I had to restrain and pull back, sighing sadly in the process.
Thor had taken my hand once again spelling out "Soon brother, mother works hard to find the cure," no sooner did he get finished spelling it in my palm did I feel the vibration from the door closing in his room. He then spelled out some more, "She is here." I nodded in response.
He then left my side, most likely to greet her and start readying himself for the day, I could feel the vibration of footsteps coming toward me quickly. My hand being taken once again, "Loki, she has found it. She has the spell to break the curse," is what was very sloppily written i
Loki Memoirs 55Loki Memoirs 55Loki Memoirs 553 years ago in Settings More Like This
Even though I lay alone in Thor's bed for the last few days, he did not stray too far from my side. He would come to me and hold my hand and when I finally was able to stomach food again he would bring food to feed me. As I lay however, I could not help but think what was happening around me. The universe was still moving forward, but I...was standing still in time.
It had been nearly a moon cycle, I counted the days by judging when Thor would rest next to me, when I decided I could not take any more of this. I had to get out of Thor's chambers for a while, even though I was unsure of my surroundings I pushed myself to the edge of the bed and rest my feet on the floor. At first my balance was off because I had not walked in quite some time but I gathered it quickly, my muscles relearning their strength they once again.
I counted the steps toward the door, 46 and felt for the door handle. It took me a minute, b
Loki Memoirs 54Loki Memoirs 54Loki Memoirs 543 years ago in Settings More Like This
I had slept the entire day, however when I felt conscious again, my body was so warm it made me feel sick once again. I could feel beads of sweat roll down my forehead and neck, but then I felt something cool pressed to my head. It felt refreshing from the sweltering heat.
"I worry mother, he has perfectly fine yesterday. He now lays ill, fevered and suffering. Is there not anything we can do to help?" I could hear Thor speak with mother.
"Your brother is not of Asgard blood Thor, he may be affected by illness much differently than we do. It seems quite serious...I will send for healers," her voice seemed lofty to me. Both of them sounded as if they were floating around in my mind. I now could hear myself panting heavily, the heat it was too much for me.
I let out a weak whimper, "Make it stop..." I mumbled. My breathing had become rapid, uneven.
"I am sorry. The healers will be here soon to ease your
Loki Memoirs 66Loki Memoirs 66Loki Memoirs 663 years ago in Settings More Like This
"With....Child?" Thor seemed completely dumbfounded. He looked down at my stomach where my hand lay. "I am going to be a father?" I smiled seeing his excited expression.
"Yes Thor, you will be a father," I slowed down the conversation for him so he could let his mind catch up with him. He looked to mother and she nodded to him.
"I'm going to be a father!" he exclaimed and grabbed my hands. With me being so nauseous I did not know how well I would handle it but I got up with him and he hugged me to himself. "Loki, this is great news!!!" he then kissed me on the lips. I blinked and I felt my stomach turn once again. Quickly, I ran to the lavatory, emptying whatever I had left in me into the chamber pot.
"I am sorry, I did not mean to get you sick again," he came to my side to comfort me. I gave him a half smile after I wiped my mouth on a fresh cloth.
"It is alright...I just need to take it e
Loki Memoirs 28Loki Memoirs 28Loki Memoirs 283 years ago in Settings More Like This
I had risen early and stepped out onto my portico in my green and golden robe. I had not cared too much about how I threw it on, as it hung slackly off one shoulder. I had no one I needed to impress anyways...
I leaned on the rail with my right arm, letting my head rest on my hand. I rubbed my temple but I had no idea why, I had no head pain. Perhaps it was because I was deep in thought. I had contemplated the last evening to just tell Thor. What difference would it make, even if mother and father knew? Then my rational side would take over and tell me that it would hurt Thor. It would keep him from being able to ascend to the throne. I sighed, looking out over the vast ocean to the east of the palace near the Bifröst.
I thought for a moment, Jotünheim... Maybe I should just get away from all of this. This...pain. &