Dearest Victoria When we became the Pokemon League Champions I was so proud of us. The combined effort of every member of the team pulled through and claimed victory. But I could not shake the feeling of failure, having lost Victoria the Victreebel at the last moment.
After the celebrations held in our honour my path led me to Lavender Tower where I would lay her soul to rest. I could only go alone, not wanting my new-found fans to witness me crying again. The channellers assured me she would be peaceful in the afterlife which comforted me, slightly. She would be at peace and I knew she would forgive me; but I wasn't sure that I could.
Victoria had originally joined me north of Cerulean City where she lashed out from a patch of grass, angry that I had interrupted her beauty sleep. I liked her spunkiness so I brought her onto the team in preparation for our match against the water type gym of Cerulean. Her stay on my team originally only lasted for that gym challenge, as I alr
HereFour year old Keaton gripped a green crayon in his tiny fist, pressing it hard against the paper. His parents fought beneath the sound of the tv in the background. Scribbling in rhythmic circles, he furrowed his brow. His mother came into the room, a dishtowel in her hands.Here5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"What are you drawing, Keaton?" Her voice had the tremble of someone forcing their words to sound happy.
"Money," he said, then glanced up.
She came closer, examining the pages scattered around him from behind. All contained a dollar, done again and again in various sizes.
"You've drawn a lot of it."
"Yeah," he said, "we need a lot, so we can be happy."
She put a hand to her lips, standing there, then bent down beside him. "Money can't make us happy, Keaton."
"I am going to draw so much that you and daddy never fight again."
His mother sighed, putting a hand to her forehead, and was silent for a moment as he continued to color in green bill
Get upHear me read itGet up2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
She sat on the edge of her bed staring at the floor. Within her scope of vision there were many things she could look at. Many things to think about and process. There was a slate blouse that had wilted at the bottom of her bed, or her pale foot placed beside it. The foot looked unnatural there, with no pressure to grip it to the ground it looked unbelonging, like a cast aside prop. Yet she did not look, or think, or notice.
She just stared, blindly, for an hour, her thoughts were obnoxious and churned the paltry paste of self-disgust in her heart muscle, but they were relatively quiet as she repeated over and over in the forefront of her subconscious "Time to get up."
Time to get up. It was time to get up. It was time to get up and get on with her life. It was time to get a life. It was time. It was time to get up.
Unprovoked tears swelled and scattered loosely amid this trail of thought. She kept going, over and over, It
Tumbling Down He said he was smart enough to be a Mensa member. She asked what that was. David said it was a group of people who took a test and were admitted to Mensa only if they tested as geniuses. Susanne just looked him, not entirely surpised and not entirely convinced David was right about that. Without knowing, and in light of what David did or didn't do for a living, Susanne went back to reading a novel she picked up on her weekly trips to the library.Tumbling Down4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Susanne and David had arguments now about those novels she read. She read everything from bestsellers to older classics, including children's books (she had no children) and non-fiction about fiction.
David insisted that reading any fiction was a waste of time.
"Why?" Susanne asked.
"Because fiction doesn't teach anyone anything," David said.
Susanne put her current
ScaredShe extended her hand and reached for the door. Her body trembled violently in fear.Scared10 months ago in Short Stories More Like This
Gently, she wrapped her fingers around the brass knob.
It was time to face the day.
The DancerHear me read itThe Dancer2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
The night I met Jessie she was beautiful. She swayed to the almost intolerably loud music as if her bones were made of it. She was something unknown. I remember the sharp cut of her hair had run across her cheek, parallel to her carved-out cheekbone. It looked like a wig, I wanted to touch it. I wanted to touch her, and see if she felt like plastic. Who could ever believe that someone so perfect could be so real. I regret that. I regret doubting her reality.
Eventually she bought me a drink; she called it an Appleté but trapped in the pulsating fuchsia lights of the club it looked purple. It tasted like jealousy; sour and eye watering. When I told her this she laughed a little, apparently she'd heard that one before. I drank it anyway. I wanted to slot into my assigned role in her fantastical world.
We talked a little. She served other men drinks. The ones in the shadows could have been my reflection. It was confusing. The
Dirty LaundryLoading up the washing machine, and my mind is sprawling around in several destinations far from this cramped room. I spritz my clothes- no, actually I drench them with that spray- the kind that's supposed to work miracles on any stain before the affect fabric even goes in the washer. This was my favorite shirt. My favorite shirt. I'm just not thinking today, am I?Dirty Laundry4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The cotton feels good on my fingers, even though I'm stuffing it roughly into the machine. And all the towels...I didn't learn it until I'd moved out, but Mom was right: washing towels and clothes in the same load led to an outright ungodly amount of lint stuck in everything. I pause. Do I really want to do two separate loads?
Yeah, why not? Water begins to fill up, and I'm dousing it with that lovely detergent that smells so good and pure.
I sit down opposite the machine and just stare at it for a while. It rumbles pleasantly, numbly, and my mind drifts. What a nice sound, surely one could just meditate with i
She Was a Stormcloudshe was a stormcloud, and you loved her,She Was a Stormcloud3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and the two of you took walks and wore
nothing but promises,
broken chains and
strands of pinkish pearls.
and the two of you kissed under trees that attracted silver lightning
(metal branches scraped the sky, and you, always faithful,
tipped your coat over her head to keep her dry.)
but she never stayed that way.
in an instant, she had whirled into the rain
and danced without clothes,
and she left you
with the pain of frostbite on your naked skin
where you trusted her to kiss you warm,
and you thought you heard her laughter
when the sun came out again the next day,
and the next.
she was a stormcloud, and you loved her,
and you didn't know it at the time but
(and they never
a Physicist's diary[April 17] Maria is getting sicker; tuberculosis is washing her life away day after day, but all the beauty of this World still shines in the depths those tormented eyes. I'm not as strong as she is, I can't bear my impotence. As a scientist once I used to think that the matter had no secrets I couldn't unveil: "Oh, how fool I was... miserable small ant!".a Physicist's diary10 months ago in Short Stories More Like This
[May 10] The physician has suggested a period of rest on the mountain. Two or three months should be enough, then we will back home and he will visit her again. While telling this, he has looked me shaking his head almost imperceptibly. I hate him with all my heart, for that motion and for he can't save her; I hate God, in which in the past I didn't believe at all and now I need so much to have a guilty... and I hate myself.
[May 22] We took a nice Chalet in Courmayeur with a marvelous view of the landscape and the night sky for me and rarefied air so precious for my bride. There's something no honest man can deny about Italy: this c
A cappellaMy mother, a famous classical violinist in her day, was on her deathbed and I didn't care. She was bedridden by the usual suspects, old age and a fall, and had been for many months when they called me. "Come see her," they said. "She'll pass on soon." They told me the nurses played Tchaikovsky, her favorite.A cappella5 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"No," I said, and hung up the phone, slamming it against the wall, the cord jerking about in a wild dance. I glared at my CD player, as though it would suddenly come to life with violin concertos, then grabbed my coat, and left the house.
The critics never tired of saying she was passionate, that's what always got me. I remember going to her concerts; it was true, she had the most intense face, and her rigid body echoed the tension and frenzy of the music she loved to play. When she practiced, nothing could shake her from scales climbing, climbing, climbing. As a child, I always imag
It's torturing meThat feelingIt's torturing me3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in my throat
that's choking me
in my belly
that's liftting me
Darling must I say
it's more than just
"I like you"
if you'd see
that feeling of mine
that's torturing me
you would see
that I need you
to save me
BurnHate stings my lungsBurn3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
As I hold back cries
Instead I pray for a better day
Wishing I could die
And its hard to say I love you
When I want you to burn
Your the reason that I'm like this
And you need to learn,
That I only say I'm fine
So that you can feel good
But that's not the truth
I can see it, you should
DemonPain..Demon3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You don't know the half of it.
You couldn't fathom the agony.
You have no idea, what it's like.
After everything you put me through,
Everything you've done.
After what you've killed inside of me,
A demon has been created.
I feel no sympathy,
I feel no remorse.
I have no feeling,
and I fear I have no heart.
Cold, dead hands constrict me,
The fire inside scorches,
The dark abyss of forgotten lies,
Consumes my very soul.
I fear there is no turning back,
From the beast you have made of me,
From the monster I am.
From the demon that I have become.
Don't Hurt Me.As I fall from the horse,Don't Hurt Me.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Believe in me to rise again.
Can you not see I am hurting?
Don't knock me over, I will prevail,
Even though, you think I can't.
Fuck you, I'll prove it to you.
Getting better by the second,
How can you not see?
I know my own strengths well
Just like I said, believe in me.
Kill the disbelief,
Light my way for me.
My only regret, you forget, is you,
Not by what you say,
Only by what you do, but
Promise me that you'll help, and
Quit your stupid mistakes
Remind me that life goes on,
Save me from my anger, my hate
Tomorrow starts another day,
Until I turn again to pain
Vividly I remember,
What you said to me, your words like
Yes, I remember, all too well..
Zero tolerance for me.
Fire InsideEverything is blurryFire Inside3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Vision going black
Anger setting in
Ain't no turning back.
Hands begin to shake
Blood starts to boil
Thoughts turn into hate
Your world will soon be turmoil.
Eyes glare back in rage
The fire growing inside
I won't be contained, within this cage
of lies and trust denied
Can You Hear Me?"I want it to end. The suffering, the pain, the weariness, just everything.Can You Hear Me?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I want to stop feeling like a knife has been dug into my chest, and is being twisted with every insult, being pushed in deeper with every insecurity and doubt.
I want to stop crying. Just, for one day, to not have to sit with tears pouring down my cheeks, with my arms wrapped round myself, slowly rocking.
I want to stop panicking. To stop feeling like the oxygen has left the room, leaving me gasping for breath and lifeless. Like I'm drowning on dry land, my throat closes over, and my thoughts go at a million miles an hour. Worries and obsessions fire through my brain like bullets, sometimes for hours, sinking deeper and deeper into the water.
I want to be able to sleep. To be able to actually wake up in the morning and think 'I'm going to shine today. I'm going to laugh and smile without faking, and not have to pretend that I'm fine. Today is my day.'
To be able to get through a whole day without nearly faintin
I'm SorryDear mother, forgive me;I'm Sorry3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I know that I have failed you.
Dear father, don't hate me;
I know that I have let you down..
If I could take back mistakes, and forget the heartaches;
Would you let me surrender?
If I could take all the blame, and hide this mask of shame;
Would you give in, and do the same?
My dear brothers, I will give in;
You've always been there when I needed you.
But don't blame me,
For not being there; God knows that I tried.
In my soul, I know I've hurt you.
But you must know how hard I've tried.
Just remember, it's not my fault.
I never meant to hurt you..
If I could try and forget, would you take my regret?
Would you forgive me?
If I could make you see, what's inside of me?
Would you finally say that you are proud?
For everything that I've done,
and all the hurt that I've caused;
The pain can not be undone,
and I'd just like to say...
ForsakenAll the pain and the suffering,Forsaken3 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
the lying and the deceit.
All the grief and agony,
all they do is cheat.
You've done nothing but hurt me,
Caused nothing but pain.
Do they even realize,
Just let me be!
I am forsaken; darkness surrounds me.
There's nothing in this world but agony.
Everyone hates me; breaking my body.
I can't see a single bit of hope.
And when everything comes down,
Nothing matters now.
And Everyone's a joke,
There's too much I allow.
I'm here to end it all.
The rage inside, although I try to deny,
How I try, closing my eyes,
only to ask questions of why?
This pain inside, materialize,
Why does this happen to me?
I can't control it,
although I must admit, I commit,
as the anger takes control.
All the suffering, my weakness,
nothing but bleakness;
and all of it's pure uniqueness.
Nothing can stop me now.
I am forsaken; darkness surrounds me.
There's nothing in this world but agony.
Everyone hates me; breaking my body.
I can't see a single bit of hope.
the discoverythis endless morning made mythe discovery3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
eyes ache and i found that
lying in bed doesn't really solve
much at all.
and endless words tore up my mind
[the worst kind of words, too - ugly
wrapped up in beauty
the kind that used to find their way out of
your twisted lips]
and by the time i forced them
away, my brain was in shreds
and an endless thumping exploded
behind my eyes
and through my veins
rattling my bones, and
chattering my teeth
and i couldn't make it stop
no matter how much
muddy tea i drank from clinking china.
but today i finally looked out
the window, and
the sun was beautiful and
the wind was gusting like it had
somewhere better to be
and the clouds were drifting slowly by
like in a miyazaki movie i saw once.
so maybe i'll go outside, because
this endless morning made my
and, darling, i found that lying in bed
doesn't really solve much at all.
Never Letting GoHe was always alone.Never Letting Go3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Always putting on a pained smile,
Always twiddling his thumbs,
Always straying from the group.
He barely spoke,
He barely laughed,
Until she came along.
With her, he smiled,
She barely spoke,
She barely laughed,
She barely lived.
Without her, he smiled,
Without her, he began anew,
With her, he was happy,
This is Me and It HurtsCan you feel it?This is Me and It Hurts3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
This needle beating inside my chest...
It tells me it's my heart,
but why does it hurt so much?
It feels like somebody once broke it...
And then someone came along and sewed it back up
but left the needle as a reminder.
But.. if I were to remove this needle
everything would just break again.
Can you feel it now?
Can you see it?
This isolation that I live with daily...
It tells me it's my home,
but why does it feel so empty?
It looks like a house, with four walls and a ceiling...
But hatred seeps from the walls
and broken chains lay along the floor.
But.. these chains are also binding
trapping me, alone, in this house that's no longer a home
Can you see it now?
Can you hear it?
These screams breaking the inside my of my head...
They tell me everything is alright,
but continue to destroy who I am.
It feels like I should be dead...
It feels like this negativity owns my life
and I think it is my life.
But.. it's the only thing I live for.
Life without a heartbeat.
I Want To Be Good EnoughIs it CRAZY that I want you?I Want To Be Good Enough3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Is it INSANE that I want you to be mine?
Or am I just selfish
For wanting so much?
How did you find me?
Why did you hug me,
And what made you WANT me?
I'll never understand that..
I think about the trouble you went through.
That one year ruined your life.
But you got back up
And I don't want to pull you back down
I worry you.
And maybe you should be worried,
But I don't want this to be for nothing.
All this emotion,
The want, the words, the secrets shared.
After the dreams and the plans,
Am I selfish for wanting to stay?
Or do you want it, too?
I don't want to be alone
I'm slowly losing my mind and I'm afraid
That nothing can stop me.
You're my last hope.
And I never wanted to drag you into this.
Please don't hurt.
This is my last chance with myself.
I want to be good enough this time.
If I'm not, then may I die knowing that you're happy.
Am I CRAZY?
I just want you here beside me
My AddictionEveryone says I need to take a break,My Addiction3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A breather, let it go, relax for a second,
but I can't can't can't
let this go when the voice inside my head
is reminding me I'm running out of time and greatness is slipping from my fingertips.
I'm starting to fear
my passion has become my addiction
i crave a fix of creativity but there's none to be found so withdrawal runs through my veins
and the words that used to be beautiful now just seem to bleed dirty brown
they drip from my nose and mouth like theyve been rejected never to be anything but evidence of mental decay
perhaps stability isn't what I need because it seems like this pressure in an otherwise
just isn't producing the same results as when I was all alone.
Maybe the best artists really are the tortured souls,
So I have to ask myself what I'm going to have to give up
To get back what I've lost.
cutLook. You see what I did?cut6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Anger in the voice as he yanks off his jacket.
Anger in the scars that slash across his shoulder.
I don't know why. I thought it might help.
What is that? Exasperation,
pulling her wrist toward my hand.
She thinks for a moment.
A dull razor, a thumbtack, and a sharp razor.
I can see her in my mind's eye-
bent over a toilet with tears and blood
and a dull razor.
Once I thought my world was ending.
It was in geometry class.
I dug my nails into my arm so hard
that the marks stayed with me for three days.
I was so sure that it would help.
I would feel empowered.
I would feel alive.
More angry red cuts-
only half an inch long.
"Do you like doing it?" Francheska asks.
"Do you like the pain?" She presses down
hard on the fresh new cuts.
Jasmine shakes her head.