100 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do in Middle-Earth1: I will not give hobbits green hair and orange skin and call them "Oompa Loompas".100 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do in Middle-Earth2 years ago in Humor More Like This
2: I will not swallow the Phial of Galadriel to see if it will shine inside my stomach.
3: I will not eat popcorn during dramatic moments.
4: I will not ask Saruman if a house fell on his sister.
5: I will not claim Sauron's Eye watches me while I'm showering.
6: The One Ring is not my bling.
7: I am not a paparazzi.
8: I will not roast marshmallows in Mount Doom.
9: I will not shave Gandalf's beard...
10: ...Nor will I shave Legolas bald.
11: I will not follow Gollum with an accordion and insist he must dance or else.
12: I will not make a tree house inside an Ent.
13: I will not wolf whistle when Aragorn and Arwen are making out, nor will I shout "GET SOME!"
14: I will not sing the Spider-Pig song when in Shelob's lair.
15: I will not "poke" Sauron's flaming eye with a pitchfork.
16: I will not shout "GO, GO, POWER RANGERS!" before slipping on the One Ring.
17: I will not give a hobbit a pedicure.