That one moment when you stand up and see the lights on and everything that makes you wonder.

is it too much to want a friend . .

Effy Stonem was the name on everybody’s lips. All the girls wanted to be her, and all the guys wanted to fuck her.
She was the little sister to party legend Tony Stonem, so people expected great things from her,
she lived up to all of their expectations, until she met two best friends - Freddie and Cook.
They turned her perfect, drug-filled world upside down, she started fucking Cook and falling for Freddie,
things escalated and escalated until Effy finally gave in to her love for Freddie, she then started to go mad,
and tried to kill herself but what happened after that?

Is she still fighting her inner demons?

Once a dear friend of mine told me that
there are three types of people:
the Normal ones, the Made ones and the Born ones.

"You are something really different if you are a Born one because you are never going to stop
thinking and looking for the... well, for the cause of the human mistake.
On the other hand, if you are a Made one you are going to grow and search only during the time
when you are with the person who "made you", who has to be a "Born" one.

♡ i really enjoy this song .♡

♡　you turned me into someone loved　♡

sometimes , we see something so beautiful
that we have to stop and wonder how
this come into someone's mind to create it
in the first place .

Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing.
It's time we all reach out for something new,
That means you too


I never meant to cause you any sorrow.
I never meant to cause you any pain.
I only wanted to be some kind of friend.
I only wanted to one time see you laughing.
I only wanted to see you underneath the purple rain.

Baby I could never steal you from another.

Broken lines, across my mirror

Show my face, all red and bruised

And though I screamed and I screamed,well ..
No one came running
No I wasn't saved, I wasn't safe from you


I don't know how
But there are some things
That you just have to do
If not for yourself
Then for someone else

" In the world beyond the tale we turn the page and close the book,
and we resume our lives. A life that is, like any other, unlike any other "

Today i saw for the first time my favorite book on screen ,
"the perks of being a wallflower" .
my eyes are hard dry from too much crying ,
my cheeks are hurting and i guess it's from too much smiling ,
i don't know how can someone make such a beautiful
characters . I love you all .
I hope someday in my life i can meet them ,
i hope i can have a friend like Charlie ,
meet people like them .
i wish i can have the luck to share my life ,
and all the moments cause , right now ,
i feel infinite .

i want you to tell me about every person you've ever been in love with .
tell me why you love them , then tell me why they loved you .
tell me about a day in your life you didn't thought you'd live through.
I wanna know the first time you've felt uncomfortable in your own skin .
and if that day still haunt you beneath your bones .
do you prefer to play in puddles of rain or bounce in the bellies of snow ?
and if you were to built a snowman , would you rip two branches from a tree
to built your snowman arms ? Or would you leave the snowman armless for
the sake of being harmless to the tree ? And if you would , would you notice
how much the tree weeps for you because your snowman has no arms
to hug you everytime you kiss him on the cheek ?
do you kiss your friends on the cheek ? Do you sleep beside them when
they're sad, even if it makes your loves mad ? Do you think that anger is a
sincere emotion or just the timid of a fragile heart trying to beat away it's pain ?
I want you to tell me all the ways you've been unkind . Tell me all the ways
you've been cruel .I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving .
And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes . I wanna know if
you bleed sometimes through other people's wounds .

DrHouse: Are you going to base your whole life on who you got stuck in a room with?
Eve: I'm going to base this moment on whom I'm stuck in a room with. It's what life is.
It's a series of rooms and who we get stuck in those rooms with adds up to what our lives are.

" someone i loved once gave me a box full of darkness .
i took me years to understand that, this too, was a gift ."
　
- Mary Oliver . (Thirst)

I was once given a box full of darkness. Someone I loved gave it to me, too. The darkness was actually disillusionment, disappointment, and despair. The box was full of meanness, lies, and deceit.
The first thing I did with this box was glorify it. I gave it pride of place in my emotional world. I let it consume my thoughts, my heart, and my mind. Every so often, when I was feeling at my most vulnerable, I opened it up and peered into the darkness, where I would wail and cry in despair, pitying myself for being dealt such a dark and horrible blow.
Time passed, and I found myself opening the dark box less often. Sometimes, I was just too busy with other things to spend the time I knew the darkness required. Other times, I simply didn’t have the energy to deal with all those dark emotions. Eventually, I was just bored with the dark box and it’s perpetual whining.
Then came the day that my thoughts drifted toward the darkness, and I realized the dark box was no longer there. For a few frenzied moments, my mind searched for it, but I simply could not conjure it up. A deep sigh of relief welled within me, and I knew the darkness was gone for good. In it’s place was a very quiet sense of understanding. peace, and forgiveness, a sensation that I had never before known, but one I wanted very much to store up and treasure.
At one time or another, life will hand each one of us a box full of darkness. It’s important to keep that box around for a while – but not for too long. Buried deep inside this box is a wealth of insight, compassion, and self-awareness. When you dig deeply enough to reach this layer, you’ve found the real buried treasure – the true gift that’s hidden in the darkness.

Lay my head, under the water
Lay my head, under the sea
Excuse me sir, am I your daughter?
Won't you take me back,
take me back and see?
There's not a time, for being younger

And all my friends, are enemies
And if I cried unto my mother
No she wasn't there, she wasn't there for me


Don't let the water drag you down

Broken lines, across my mirror

Show my face, all red and bruised

And though I screamed and I screamed,
Well no one came running
No I wasn't saved, I wasn't safe from you


Don't let the water drag you down
Don't let me drown in the waves,
I could be found, I could be what you had saved



Lay my head, under the water
Aloud I pray, for calamities

And when I wake from this dream,
With chains all around me
No, I've never been, I've never been free



No, I've never been, I've never been free
I've never been free . . .
　I've never been free　

Can you be an adjunct in a person's life?
Someone who people does not consider or give much importance.
Could you be the right person, but only at times ?
Is this a deficiency ?
From whom?
Would that be right?
Should we learn how to accept our importance in the right moments ?
Or should we take more pride or self-esteem to the point of not accepting certain situations. ..