I know this is a mid week journal, but I haven't actually wrote one in a while I've just done meme's because I was bored out of my mind. But this time I've actually got news!!
Ok first of all because I didn't mention it before, I came a worthy second in :iconwritingmadefun: Halloween zombie contest. I am very happy as I never thought I would have even made it to the final five, but to actually come this close to winning. So congrats to the winner, and I thank the group very much.
But now, because I still can't even believe it's actually happing, the big news.
I, yes me, the plain little sixteen year old from Ireland is actually going to have three of my poems published!!
Yes you heard it right, freaking published!!! In a actual book!! How crazy is that?!
I still can't believe it, I only submitted my work with the thought that "I'm too young, too amateurish, and that they won't like my stuff" but wouldn't you know they liked it and chose three!
Lost feelingsIt's crazy the way I felt for you,Lost feelings3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Crazy how I truly believed that I loved you right down to the core.
But now I see you, and something's not right, I've lost all feeling.
Thoughts of you don't seem to keep me up all night.
I told my self you have to be the one, all the moments we shared how ever small, they used to keep me dreaming that you were the prince I would meet at the fairytale ball.
But now know those feelings of wonder and love, have seemed to disappear to the heavens above.
And I feel remorse for those feelings I had, the ones that made my skin tingle and hair stand on end.
And those missed heart beats when you said my name, I truly fear that they shall not come again.
What's wrong with me? I thought I'd always feel that way.
But now I'm numb my life feels only grey.
A diamond in the roughHe says I sparkle, he says I shine, but only because he is mine.A diamond in the rough2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The dullest stone in the dirt, broken smashed, raw and hurt.
With tender eyes and a loving heart, he bent down and picked me up.
Polished and cleaned with loving care. A diamond in the rough, one not to share.
But the gem I am sparkles only under his light, a radiant glow that lasts all night.
A treasured piece that he holds close, for I am the one he loves the most.
What if?If life as we know it ended today, would you fall to your knees and begin to pray?What if?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Or try and make amends for sins of before, and hope it will lead you to heavens door.
Or would you act like you don't want to know, and hope it's all just a show?
Would you hold your love ones tight, or do something crazy on the last night?
But if it's going to end today, do you even have time to say,
Sorry for all your wrongs, or just tell them what you thought all along.
Even the ones who believed it was true, will be shocked that it actually came through.
So in the end there's not much to say, it's the end of the world.
Have a nice day.
A void that can't be filled.An echoing silence.A void that can't be filled.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Haunts my bones,
I hate this feeling.
Of being alone.
That I cannot fill.
I do not have the strength,
Nor the will.
What I've longed for,
Has gone and changed,
To form a monster,
One so strange.
I do hate,
What you have become.
You try and impress,
I hate myself,
For messing up,
One too many chances.
It's just my luck.
So I'll give up,
On thoughts I had.
It was just a trend,
A new found fad.
So many lies,
I'll fill my head.
Though it will haunt me,
Till I'm dead.
Even though I'm angry,
And though I am in pain.
It's not you,
Who I blame.
Is a pain I can't bear,
And though you're not who I want.
I still wish you were.
HollowWalking lonely on the path of life, the dark shadow always at my side.Hollow3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
See the light, but as I walk it gets further away.
You are golden, but I'm scared to touch you incase you break like glass.
Why do I feel alone in a room full of strangers, why do I feel like the only one to walk this earth?
Inside my heart feels heavy, but my body feels hollow, one breeze and I might break.
I feel lost, I feel alone but yet I know you are there.
Please always be there.
A name less soulPlain and quiet, a girl with no name.A name less soul3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Who was dying on the inside, but showed no outer pain.
She wasn't like the rest, she could never be.
She felt unloved, she was never called pretty.
She tried to be what she hated the most,
So maybe someone would show her some love.
Forgotten, rejected, and on her own,
Loathed those who had cut her to the bone.
Each night her pillow was filled with tears,
Each day her shoulders carried all her fears.
Alone she sat, ridiculed by all,
Her heart was heavy, she felt so small.
Burnt out and broken, She couldn't take no more,
Lost with out feeling, her wounds were sore.
Until one day, the light did shine,
and on that day she did feel fine.
She stood up and found her voice,
her name, and with her life she had a choice.
And if you look, and you will see,
that plain, quiet girl, that would be me.
Longing LoveI'm listening to the sad love songs on the radio, and my heart whispering your name.Longing Love3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Trying hard to block you out, I stare out the window and watch the rain.
But oh! How I wish you were here, you could take away the pain.
Your soft lips would touch mine; your warm skin would surround mine.
And I'd be happy.
Snap out of the dream world, I have to command myself.
Thinking about you all this time could not be good for my health.
I've been so close and yet so far.
Those moments we shared, I know they were brief, but yet they replay as I try to sleep.
And I find myself smiling, no control do I have.
You've stole my heart, and weirdly I'm actually glad.
My weekSoaked cheeksMy week2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Two booming voices
Turn to dead silence.
A sleepless night
A comforting cuddle
A reassuring text.
One sided conversations
Picture and no sound
A unspoken apology
A turn around.
Even a smile
Normality is back
May it stay a while.
She and IShe was everything you wanted, she was everything I wanted to be.She and I3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
She had everything you needed, so you never looked to me.
She gave you everything, so you never took from me.
She's beautiful, you know that, we all know the same, I don't know why I bother with this game.
She loves you more than anything, and I hope she always will.
She always care for you,she'll keep you strong when times are tough, I could never be enough.
She's the one for you, a match made in heaven they say, she makes you happy, I guess I never could.
She's everything you wanted, she's everything I wanted to be.
I'm sorry but why can't it be me?
What I'm not.I may not be the girl you write about, sings songs about, the girl you paint.What I'm not.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I may not be the girl that everyone wants to be, I'm just plain and simple me.
I may not be anything extraordinary I'm nothing new,
but I guess I'm here for you.
A shoulder to cry on, a helping hand. That's the kind of girl I am.
And if that is not what you want then it's plain to see.
You simply can't have me.
Just so...You pick me up and put me on the highest pedestal you can find,Just so...3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Just to knock me down.
You put me in the shop window for everyone to see,
Just so they can mock me.
You tell me the world is my oyster, and I am the pearl,
Just to trap me inside.
You lift my heart and tell me its a gem,
Just to break it like glass.
You give me the good news first,
Just so you can hit me with the bad.
You give me dreams and hopes,
Just so you can crush them like a bug.
You do this all,
Just to make your self feel better.
Just give me a reason.Just give me a reason, anyone at all.Just give me a reason.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
To show me that your worth the pain and struggle.
That your worth the heartache of this disease.
Just say something. Anything. Please.
Just one good reason why I should love you so,
but of course you won't, and I'll never know.
Midnight kissesIt's late, and it's cold, oh what I wouldn't give to have you to hold.Midnight kisses2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Your arms wrapped around me like a safety net, you plant kisses on my neck.
Shivers run down my spine, when I'm with you I feel electrified.
A soft kiss on the lips, your hands resting on my hips.
The magic look in your eyes, a look that gives me butterflies.
You hold me close and tight, everything feels just right.
You lean down and whisper in my ear, "I really do love you dear"
And with those words I hug you tight, nothing could ruin my night.
Lost in the starsShe wanted to ski in a desert, and swim in the air.Lost in the stars2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It didn't have to make sense and she really didn't care.
She liked to dream in black and white, and pick out all the colours.
Have no time to finish one, but enough to start another.
She listened to the mute, and talked to mimes.
She was always running late, but walked like she was on time.
She was in love but never fell, she even rang some wedding bells.
But people knew it all along that no one could ever tame her heart, because it was already lost in the stars.
How did you do it?How did you mange to sneak your way into my heart?How did you do it?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
My note books filled with your name,
but I know you'll never feel the same.
But I still wish, and dream and hope,
that you'll be mine soon enough, but I seem to be fending my way up a slippery slope.
But I'm fooling no one not even myself,
because I know we will never be saying "in sickness and in health"
I guess I'll never get to know if we were ment to be, because she came along and clouded your view,
and you will remain unaware because you never knew,
That the love I have was ment for you.
Teacher's pet peeve.You loathe me, you really do,Teacher's pet peeve.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I know my presence just bothers you.
Those evil glares and little digs,
All those things to make you big.
You can poke and you can prod,
Then preach your words about your god.
You can act the little saint,
But that's something you just ain't.
You can pretend that I'm not there,
And then act like you treat us fair.
Questions of a wider scope,
Get a "no further questions" and a bible quote.
Crow like demeanour you wallow in pride,
No pity you offer, as you throw the carcass aside.
That burning hatred of me, you truly despise,
That roaring fire in your eyes.
Now tell me Miss, as it's clear to see,
Why do you really hate me?
The final emberWeak legs fail beneath me.The final ember2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Skin burns with fear.
Ashes dance between my fingers.
Dust fills my lungs.
Fall to the ground, allow the stars to be my final image.
Let the darkness sallow me whole.
Pass the saltAt a darkened lonely table I find myself eatingPass the salt1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
The echoes of my heart beat fill the room.
Empty eyes watch from afar,
My every move being judged.
Each thought of mine being ridiculed
The faint foot steps as my fellow guest arrives
His head toped with a silk hat,
His face illuminated by the soft candle glow.
Sunken eyes with an endless stare,
Ghostly face baring scars.
The dining table puts us miles apart
Plates were a banquet used to be filled now with mere crumbs,
Now chipped and cracked like the empire around it.
We dined on what remained of a beggars feast.
Bathed under dying candle light.
The devilish eyes that watched grew closer with each breath I took.
Before they could reach us, the candle went out.
In the darkness my guest spoke,
His only words were;
"Pass the salt"
You can't always get what you want.You can't always get what you want.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Is it wrong to want someone all to yourself for just one day....
Just one night...
Under the moonlight on a secluded beach.
Or a day spent in Paris or Nice?
Maybe I'm wrong to be wanting something I can't have,
but I'm still dreaming of a life we could of had.
I've seen my dreams shattered when she's around,
My heart ripped in two, and I'm left feeling like a clown.
And I'm left thinking to myself is there nothing I can do,
to let you know how much I love you?
In trusted with my heart.It's fragile, please look after it.In trusted with my heart.3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
RestlessHaunting voices torment my sleep.Restless1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Growing pressures pull me to the dark so deep.
Heavy weights upon my chest.
Losing will, I cannot rest.
Nightmares grow in strong daylight.
A losing battle, one I cannot fight.
Tears do not fix, nor ease the pain.
For all I do seems in vain.
Feeling useless, feeling spent.
Would it best if I went,
Far away, never to return.
To run from the pain that bites and burns.
Far away, in a foreign bed,
Still unable to rest my head.
Listen to sense.Dear heart,Listen to sense.2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Stop making decisions,