I am the Worst Dinner Guest EverI am the worst dinner guest ever.
To try and compete with me is to try and compete with a cloudy winter's day for most gloomy.
You have a better chance at beating the sun in a starring contest!
Try your hand at pitting yourself in a contest of balance against a sturdy tree!
I promise you, the odds are more in your favour for that one!
Heaven help you, I will sit and listen to every single anecdote.
Spill your stories like rivers spill water! Share your every amusing tale with fervour!
Every syllable, every word, every sentence; I will devour them rapaciously.
In my grim and twisted delight I will even ask you questions so that I may understand more your story and leaving you feeling thoroughly the centre of attention.
If I am feeling particularly vile, my questions and interest in what you have to say may leave you feeling the more competent dispenser of exquisite narratives.
The depth of my excrementitious villainy does not stop with story, no no!
I may even seek to go so far as to ex