Instead of this being the result of some kind of idea I had, this is the direct result of something I realized about myself about a week or so ago. Now, the following rant is going to be a bit long while also talking about fellings, so if you don't want to read it I wont blame you. Just know that I won't tl;dr it at the end.
For those of you who haven't noticed, I don't think very highly of my art. At all. I've mentioned it in some descriptions, in my DA tagline, and in the title of my tumblr. It can quite easily say that I have not drawn one single thing I have completely liked. Sure, there are parts and elements of my drawings I like, but I've never made anything I would even being to consider "good." About two weeks ago I decided I would try and fix that by spending a significant amount of time on a single character. I decided I would try and paint celestia, since I like her the most out of any side character in both appearance and personality. About halfway though making it I experienced an emotion I had never felt while drawing something. I was totally happy with the way it looked. For the first time I thought I was making something that looked good. I finished and posted it about a week ago. [link]
To my surprise, the initial response was better then it usually was. Heck, it even got into a group without being posted anywhere else. I sent it in to EqD, and to my surprise got a response back! I anxiously awaited the drawfriend post that day, finally feeling like I had made something a little worthwhile.
When it finally got posted, the first image that graced my eyes was this. [link]
Needless to say, it didn't feel good. Someone had done essentially the same thing as me (Just Celestia with some kind of background), and did it so much better then me mine just looked like the scribbles of a two year old(not dissing the artist for decided to post something the same day as me). Even worse, my drawing didn't even make the cut that day.
That is the day I almost decided to give up.
Now, I know this is something every artist goes through. I'm sure every artist out there had the urge to quit at one point but decided to pressure on. Heck, some probably had a much worse experience then me and still decided to go on.
Unfortunately, these facts have never made it easier for me, and they weren't helping that day either. Though me feeling like shit about my own art made me realize something.
What if all my negativity is seeping into my art and stunting my growth as an artist?
Now don't get me wrong, everyone should be at least a little bit critical of their own work. Otherwise you would never fix what's wrong with it and never improve. Me? I had gotten to the point where I could not point out a single thing I liked about any of my stuff. It is then I realized I needed to stop hating everything I make so much. It wasn't helping my art and it certainly wasn't helping me. I decided I was going to draw something that would express all of my frustrations and poor those feelings into it.
The result is the image you see above.
And you know what? I feel good. I feel damn good. not just about this but about myself. For the first time I don't even care what kind of reception my drawings get. It just feels amazing to finally be rid of all the negativity and the constant comparison of myself to other artists.
Which is why the bright piece of paper is there. I know I'm not good now. I know I haven't made anything that's good by conventional standards, But one day I will be. One day, I will make something that's considered good by those standards, and if you're and artist in the same place as I am so will you. Because atop the mountain of all the art studies, the not-so-good sketches, and the bad drawings is every artists first truly good work. So what are you waiting for?
I think I am going to do this as often as I can. I have found myself in a bizarre art drive lately, and ever since I stepped into the My Little Pony fandom I have yet to suffer an art block, so I will keep riding the wave while it lasts. Besides, it's fun and it makes me way happier than playing videogames, as well as making me feel busy and productive. Also, doing quick sketches like these ones, with minimalistic color and a lot of black and white contrast, is something I really enjoy. It's very clean also, being this a digital format. If I tried doing this on a sketchbook I would smudge everything with grafite.
So yes, expect more to come. A lot more. My poor tablet is groaning in pain, but I don't care.
In today's picture, we have Rarity, haunted by her own demons. When the random number generator pointed me to her name I threw a hand to my mouth and chuckled guiltily. It's the kind of laugh you make when they tell you a joke that is two notches too wrong to be funny, but you laugh at it anyways. I knew I was going to get mean on her, and I think I kind of did.
This is a personal fear of mine, this one I put Rarity into. The fear of failure, followed by oblivion. Sometimes we are scared of what is inside us, our insecurities and lack of confidence. We are afraid of vanishing and leaving no trace at the end of our lives. We want to leave an impact in the world, since that's the only way we can achieve inmortality. Rarity, like any artist, wants to leave her mark in the world. She wants to be noticed, and she wants ponies to love and admire her craft. So, when she fails to do so, I bet she goes to a dark place, with one lonely mirror, from which a green eyed monster stares at her for hours. I feel for her. I've been there more often than not.
Art by James Corck Rarity comes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and belongs to Hasbro.
Was listening to [link] that song, and for some reason, felt like drawing something epic and pony. So, I did.
Twilight is defending her friends to her very last. Her horn is cracked, her body wracked with pain and split apart at seemingly every seam, blood dripping down her, cooling quickly in the night air. Rarity and Fluttershy have gone to Princess Celestia for help, leaving Rainbow, AJ, Pinkie and Twilight to hold off the new aggressor. But this new enemy is much stronger than any of them could have imagined...and thus, one by one, they fall, until only the purple unicorn is left, on shaky legs but with a resolve of steel.
"I won't let you hurt them ANY MORE!" she says as she charges up one final, desperate attack...
Ooof, this was fun to draw, but I'll be damned if I color THAT.
I think I will always remember the making of this drawing, since it happened during probably one of the most depressing days of my life. I won't bore you with the details, but let's say that if the drawing feels moodier than usual that's because a lot of my feels went into it. It's kind of interesting how I started with the depressing pictures when I was somewhat cheerie, and I'm going on the happy/uplifting ones when I am feeling down. Perhaps is the best I can do, it's the best option, get onto the happy ones when I feel sad, that way I will cheer up. However, this picture made me crave for a hug so badly.
Out of all the relationships in Friendship is Magic, I think my favorite one is the sisterhood between Rarity and Sweetie Belle. Sibbling relationships are one of the strongest points of this show, since they feel very real. It's no surprise that the characters in this cartoon sound and act like real people, even though they are colourful equines. So it's impossible for me to not feel attatched to brothers and sisters and how they feel towards each other.
That's the most important aspect of this drawing, to have a significant other to pull you out of the dumps. We can't pul through life alone, we always need someone's support. Always. Those who think can do it alone are wrong, and stupid. Counting on others for emotional support is always a necesity of us as a species. We want to feel supported, and it's when we feel those people backing us when we feel the strongest, the most decided, the most beloved. All the worry in the World vanishes, and all that matters is the breath of that person on your shoulder, her hair on your cheek and her chest beating against yours. That's what counts.
Art by James Corck. Rarity and Sweetie Belle come from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and belongs to Hasbro.
It's no doubt to everyone that one of the most memorable episodes of all Friendship is Magic is "Read it and Weep", where the badass Indy Jones expi Daring Do is introduced. Daring Do is one of my favorite characters of the show. She's bold, she's brave, she's smart, and she looks awfully cute in that pith helmet. When my friend told me that she is voiced by Chiara Zanni (the voice of BonBon in My Little Pony Tales) then the likable metter reached critical mass.
So, once again, you have to understand how much this kills me. I have the impression that my random number generator got stuck in "Sadist Mode" and thus keeps giving me characters that I love and hold very dear to my heart. I guess that only makes the drawing more powerful, right? I'll let you decide that.
What is the worst kind of nightmare to have? Is it being chased by something you can't see? Or being all alone in a room with nothing but yourself? In my opinion, the worst kind of nightmare is the nightmare that physically hurts you, like falling endlessly until you hit the bottom. There is always one nanosecond of doubt in your brain that lingers forever, during which you don't know if what just happened was real or it was just in your head. At one point you can be flying, free and light carried by the wind. The clouds pass by your side, and your feathers make little curls with their fluffy tops. But then lightning strikes perforating both your wings, and you lose control. You spin around, getting dizzy, until the ground is nothing but a whirlpool of brown and green that keeps getting bigger and bigger. And then you keep falling, thinking you might have entered the tunel to the center of the Earth, and you realize that dying alone, crushed and abandoned with nobody to look for you, is not a good way to go.
Nobody wants to die like that.
Art by James Corck Daring Do comes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and belongs to Hasbro.
"To be played by monsters, in an endless cycle of death and despair . . ."
Was Equestria always a time of peace and happiness? Perhaps what we believe to have existed is not the truth. Yet here you stand, seeing nothing but friendship among the land. What you see is the truth. Yet, hidden beyond what you can see . . . there is another truth to these happy little ponies . . .
A time where three ponies fight for Ponyville's fate.
= = = = = = = = = =
If I only knew how to write . . .
- - - - -
Time Spent - Half a day, more or less, completely didn't realize I didn't record my time for this.
= = = = = = = = = =
My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic series and characters belongs to the Hub & Hasbro