Random Sexual Offenderman short storiesThis is just a collection of small stories about smexy, most involving him interacting with Arc in some humorous way, a few of which were even released on his tumblr account. I figured these little stories had been building up in my notes long enough, so i might as well release the lot.Random Sexual Offenderman short stories10 months ago in Short Stories More Like This
Before I was named as a “proxy”,
(heck, i'm not even sure if he had really known much about proxies back then to begin with, and if he did, i know he hadn't really been considering it)
Smexy had made a different sort of offer to “claim me” within the boundaries of our deal.
Fall was just starting to really come into its own, the leaves in the process of changing their colors and the college campus humid and muddy from a recent rain. We were just kinda hanging around in the dorm room. I sat on the floor with my laptop, while Smexy was draped across the bed like some sort of big lazy cat, looking over my shoulder to watch the cartoon or whatever that was playing o
I Love YouI Love YouI Love You8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I love you.
I want to be with you forever.
Untill death do us part.
Through sickness and through health.
I love you.
I want to snuggle on the couch on a cold rainy day.
Under a blanket, watching scary movies.
I want to hide my face on your arm when I'm afraid.
We go to bed and you hold me in your arms all night.
"Everything will be ok babygirl" you say, when I have a bad dream.
I fall asleep with my head on your chest, and you run your fingers through my hair.
I love you.
I want to tackle you and pin you to the ground.
I poke your tummy and you grin.
"TICKLE FIGHT!!!" you yell, and we laugh so hard.
We kiss, and let time carry us where it wants to.
I love you.
Even when I'm sick, you kiss me anyways because you love me to much to care.
When I'm sad, you sit me on your lap and wipe away my tears.
You let me cry on your shoulder and hold me.
You always make me smile and brighten up my day.
I love you.
I want to sit on the end of the dock, looking up in the sky.
Your arms aroun
Sectum NihilisThis happens during the first wizarding war. Severus is nineteen and a young Death Eater. He has asked Lily for a meeting. The idea came to me while musing about another novel-length fiction of mine, "The Last Secret of Dumbledore"; hence this oneshot can be read either stand alone or as a flashback in the foresaid story. I think it is canon-compatible.Sectum Nihilis5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Severus Snape and Lily Evans and the Harry Potter universe belong to J.K.Rowling.
Rating : PG13 or T, at most.
Betaed by Dronarron.
Summer was already drawing to its end. At this late hour of the night, the wind blowing on Severus' face was cold and thick with damp. He shivered and wrapped his cloak tighter around him while gravel ground under his boots. Today had been especially strenuous. The Dark Lord was hard to please and prompt to punish. Mulciber had just experienced the might of his master's wrath. However, Severus was con
Otherwise Good ConditionI have worn the same dressOtherwise Good Condition2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
for four days, because
I am sick, exquisitely
black and gold, your drunk
dimestore Nefertiti. A
white stain announces
itself, a muddy star:
here. Undo yourself,
those sallow words you drink,
let the silk fall loose. I've got
a face like dirty laundry
and burial grounds --
What I touch becomes
unwell. I wear my hair
like it pains me,
like a little girl
sucking her teeth
at cars, the caked little
tombs of sugar that crumble,
under the hot milk
of the sun.
Calla LiliesHe leaned down to kiss her belly, round with eight months of affection.Calla Lilies6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
Inside a little heart was beating.
(Oh my god we were so young)
I had a dream once, where all I wanted to tell you was how much I love you. But all I could think about was how warm your skin was next to mine and how full I felt breathing in the air you breathed out. I couldn't even remember what happened. I was too scared to be in love.
(I was really too in love to be scared.)
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, eighteen, Eighteen.
(How did you know calla lilies were my favorite flowers?)
Nobody told me how it would feel after. How I would feel so empty.
(I won't hurt you. I promise.)
He pressed his forehead against hers, and their noses brushed together.
(I met you that night)
I used to have two hummingbirds. One was named Deedadum, and the other Dumdadee. Their names sounded like th
How the Bible should have endedNote: Some of these monologues are actual Bible verses which I slightly edited to fit in the sketch. Please read the notes in the description bar for further information about some of the sketches.How the Bible should have ended2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
God: Hey guys. This entire garden is yours, and that of your offspring. You are free to eat from any tree in the garden.
Adam: Any tree?
God: Well, of course. I mean, did you think I put a tree there with fruit that, if you ate from it, would make both you and all of your offspring, a.k.a the human race, suddenly sinful?
Adam: Of course not. Why would you ever think about doing something like that?
God: I know right! Now how about I create a wife for you?
Adam: Also out of dirt?
God: No, by putting you to sleep and tearing out one of your ribs. Of course dirt!
Genesis (alternate take):
Satan: Looks like that whole ''humanity'' thing is going to work out pretty well.
God: Of course it does. After all, I'm perfect.
Satan: Yeah, about that.. How would you like it if I went down there a
Setsu dan kanja - The fox maskSetsu dan kanja - The fox mask6 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Setsudankanja Gaiden 1 The fox mask.
One morning at the mountain forest, Lin went looking up the mountain for Kanami and Ayase. She was carrying two large stones on her back as punishment for accompanying Kanami in her rescue mission. She found the sisters stones on the ground and they training together practicing combat up in the treetops. After they descended, Lin informed the sisters the sensei was calling them.
Cant you see we are busy, china misuse? Ayase replied upset while rushing tying the heavy stones to her back. Go back training Sakura.
Lin obeys sensei. Lin dont want bother sempais. Lin responded offended.
Ayase, stop it. Kanami reprehended her sister. Thank you, Lin we are on our way.
Lin saw fight practice. Lin wants practicing like that too. Lin said to Kanami.
With your progress in five years. Ayase added.
Lin has become stronger. Re
Naked CourageGODIVA: (Empty stage with one spotlight. Enter in simple dress with hair pinned up.)Naked Courage3 years ago in Drama More Like This
He does not expect me to take his bet. He thinks I will back down.
If I do, the children will starve for his tax. He is so blind, so determined to have a castle to rival our Norman neighbors. He is so very stubborn. He thinks I am not as stubborn.
He made the bet, because he was frustrated and weary of my nagging and perhaps a little drunk. Our first month as husband and wife and we are already fighting.
“Please, please, …listen.”
He interrupted me, “ENOUGH. I will not repeal the tax. Unless…” He searched for the wildest challenge he could imagine, “unless you ride naked through the streets of Coventry.”
What was I thinking? Perhaps, I was a little drunk as well or maybe just as stubborn? I said yes.
I am to ride through the streets naked.
I can turn back. Never leave this room. No one but my husband and the Almighty will ever kn
New Mistress of the CardsNew Mistress of the Cards3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
New Mistress of the Cards
Life for Sakura Kinomoto has been peaceful after she had all her Clow Cards converted to Sakura Cards. No more strange things happening around her, and no more need to use her magic almost every day. She feels satisfied with her current life, but on the other hand, Tomoyo Daidoji, the card mistress' best friend, seems to feel boring as there are much fewer chances to see Sakura wearing her well designed outfits. And Meiling Li, the female martial artist, just stays close to her cousin Syaoran, sometimes hanging out with Sakura and Tomoyo. But things are not going on as well as they seem to be...
Another normal day at school...
"Hey, Sakura!" Tomoyo pats on her best friend's shoulder during a break.
"Hmm? What's up, Tomoyo?" Sakura turns and looks at Tomoyo... And the newspaper on her hand.
"See this one?" Putting the newspaper on Sakura's desk, Tomoyo points at a small piece of news in the corner of the newspaper.
"Let me see... Girls continuously disappering
Masterplanwhen crucified they sayMasterplan2 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
he died for our sins
how many wars lead back to that day?
how much blood has been spilled ever since?
i'd rather live with my sins
than be told to kill or die for Him
if there ever was a master-plan
made by an omnipotent invisible man
omnipotence suggests you know how things will play
then why do we get punished by a God
who already knows we can't abide his ways?
made to be imperfect
created to fear and worship
but does it make sense to fear one who "loves" us?
to beg and pray in wails that rise up above us
my disbelief is what helps me survive
i am not blinded by your master-plans lies
Bipolari am done with patienceBipolar1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
and its deadening face.
i want what spills
out of her eyes when the waves crash
against the shore;
and the shrieking
i want that too,
banging against my spine.
and maybe i'll ripen and burst
falling from the tree
ready to ride on the back of windy days
audacious and free.
Memos from PurgatoryLife didn't go on, that was the first thing we learned. Grudges went on; nightmares went on; paranoia went on and on and on, but life got snagged on the jagged edges of our memories, and unravelled as we walked away. There were ghostly holes in our everyday routines. You found yourself writing birthday cards to dead people, simply because you couldn't get out of the habit of thinking they were alive. When you invited friends round to dinner, you had to remember not to seat them next to the relatives of the people who had killed their relatives. Molly Weasley and Andromeda Tonks got into a bit of a fight that way.Memos from Purgatory4 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
And none of us were really sure what we'd been spared for.
There was the tidying-up, of course. We were kept alive by a desire to ensure this sort of thing would never happen again. We built monuments to the departed. I wrote a biography of Regulus Black, to ensure that his contribution to the victory over Voldemort would never be forgotten. It was top of the Dai
Pro-Choice PoemPro-Choice PoemPro-Choice Poem1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
They called it a miracle
But it wasn't.
The called it a gift
But it wasn't.
They called it a blessing
But it wasn't.
It was a burden
Parasitic, a murderous leech
Pushed down the wrong road
Too late to turn back.
Scared, alone, misunderstood
The words are harsher than stones
Cursed by the thing growing in her stomach
Utterly devoid of love.
Young and in agony
And yet they still pin the blame on her
Glaring, cold red eyes
Hidden behind a sugar coating.
The days trickle past like sand
She is dying underneath the fierce skin
And she finds her way out
In a coat hanger.
An Actual HomophobeAn actual phobia is a fear,An Actual Homophobe7 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
not a hate.
So hopefully this story will illustrate,
the difference between hate, so than you will know,
what it truly means to be a “homophobe”
I'll use an example that doesn't relate,
my mother was traumatized at the tender age of eight,
when she watched a movie adorned with spiders,
now today she cannot stand to have one beside her.
Now back to the point, so we don't lose track.
I'll speak of boy who was the center of an irrational attack.
Where the act that was committed went unreported,
because to tell of what happened meant his pride would be aborted.
The reasoning is irrational, and some may say stupid,
but ever since that day, the boy grew putrid
towards men who advanced onto other men,
because he could never forget what happened when,
he was forced to commit to a brutal act,
and from that very day he still bares the scars on his back.
A feeble example, but it holds some truth,
as I would not have utilized it if it were fully untrue.
Impact Theory"What do you want to be when you grow up?"Impact Theory2 years ago in Horror More Like This
It's a question Welknan schoolteachers ask their students every year, from the day the children enter school to the day the young adults leave. Answers are carefully catalogued and presented to the students at their graduation ceremony in a beautifully decorated scrapbook made by the teacher of each student, added to each year, growing with the child.
It's arguably a silly tradition, and perhaps even morbid to remind the adults of failed childhood dreams, but it's meant to inspire and the children love it, and it's something to do anyway.
Some kids stick to plain, safe answers- tailor, construction, banker, teacher, doctor. Others get imaginative- artist, musician, architect. Others still are painfully practical- shop assistant, office worker. Once in a while, a few are philosophical- "me" and "good" are common.
Rosalin is invariably of the plain variety, not because she isn't imaginative, practical, or philosophical (she is, at times), but be
Disney: The loss of Robin WilliamsIt is night time at the House of Mouse. Genie is crying while dressed as a widow. Aladdin, Jasmine, Abu, Carpet, and Iago are comforting him.Disney: The loss of Robin Williams6 months ago in Drama More Like This
“Hey guys, why is Genie sad?” said Mickey concerned.
“It is about Robin Williams,” answered Aladdin.
“The Robin Williams? The man who provided Genies voice in the first and third ‘Aladdin’ and made his character? What about him?” said Mickey.
“Oh it is nothing Mickey. It is just that, well,” Genie cried and yelled “He died, the man who literally made me is dea-he-he-ead!” said Genie out of the widow costume.
“Oh, I’m sorry I know just how you feel pal,” said Mickey.
“You do? Yeah right,” said Genie who then changed his head to look like Pinocchio with his nose growing.
“I am serious!” said Mickey pushing the enlarged nose and making Genie stop and change back.
The Genie was listening intently.
“I felt this way when Walt Disney d
Anita Sarkeesian is a cunt, and here's why.Anita Sarkeesian, aka Feminist Frequency, is a cunt. A massive, massive cunt.Anita Sarkeesian is a cunt, and here's why.1 year ago in Editorial More Like This
If you're reading this you probably already think that, and if you don't, you're more than likely just as much a cunt as her.
It's often assumed, for some reason, that I assume with Anita, as she seems to share my 'anti-men' mentality. Maybe she does, but her and I are on two completely different levels. I accept the singular fact that women in this country are not nearly as oppressed as people like her see. There is no true 'patriarchy' in which the noble 'feminists' must fight against to obtain equality and freedom. Women in this country live on the top side of numerous double standards that give them advantage in society. We are not disadvantaged, unequal, or otherwise put down unless we allow ourselves to be, or if you're Anita, tell yourself that you are everyday due to a false and self-righteous victim mentality.
Video games, Anita? Video games. Video games are the reason women are oppressed. A
DP:Return of the Hero Chp 10DP:Return of the Hero Chp 105 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Maddie, Jack, Jazz and Tucker waited impatiently for the Fenton speeder to come out of the portal. It had been hours since Danny and Sam had left, and after finishing their research, Tucker and Jazz came downstairs to eagerly await the return of their friends.
Maddie tapped her foot impatiently. "They've been in there too long, now," she said worriedly. "Even for Danny, it's dangerous; he hasn't used his ghost powers in years."
"Danny is a big boy now, Maddie," Jack said as-a-matter-of-factly. "We can't keep babying him forever. One of these days, we'll need to let him take care of himself without freaking out-!"
The portal suddenly flashed, and in sped the speeder. Sam landed it on the floor, where it slid across the lab and into the back wall.
"Omigosh, is Danny hurt?!" Jack exclaimed fearfully, completely ignoring his last words.
Maddie waved her hand at the portal. "Close the portal, Jack!" she shouted as she ran to the speeder.
Sam pushed the door open and climbed out. Tucker reac
pro-choice"Because I had had sex, someone thought I deserved to die." (Cerullo qtd. in Hadley 79) "She was bleeding at the wrong time, and it didn't stop. She went to the emergency room here at a Catholic hospital, and they refused to take care of her. They just flatly refused…they would not touch her because she might be pregnant, and they might disturb the child. She continued to bleed." (Paley 8)pro-choice9 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
"I found out I was pregnant when I was fourteen. I didn't get a period. I talked to nobody. I panicked. I sat in hot baths. I drank these strange concoctions girls told me about—something like Johnny Walker Red with a little bit of Clorox, alcohol, baking soda—which probably saved my stomach—and some sort of cream. You mixed it all up. I got violently ill." (Goldberg 116)
"I didn't make any noise at all. I bit through my lip. I tried n
5 things - Severus in privateFive Things prompt from mimimanderly:5 things - Severus in private4 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Five things that Severus Snape does only when he's absolutely certain that he's alone and unobserved (even by the portraits!) that he would be mortified if word got out about.
Don't you make that "old news" face at me. You only think you've seen him brooding, apprentice. O, how little you truly know of it! What you have glimpsed was merely light pondering, or if you were fortunate in your timing and commendably sneaky in your technique of spying observation, perhaps a spot of moody introspection.
No. We are speaking here of something that borders on its own occult phenomenon. Only when truly, silently, deathly alone will he give in to this urge which he regards as contemptible in its self-indulgence, disgusting in its pathos and weakness, and, worst of all, which plays into a stereotype without actually giving him any kickback he can bend to his advantage (unlike al
Taming the Prince Taming the PrinceTaming the Prince7 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
A psychanalytical essay about Snape and JKR
The poets version of the story only shows how fine is the transforming power of ideal immagination which can make out of a sordid and dishonourable incident such a lovely piece of work
Edmund Spensers Works: A Variorum Edition, bk. IV, p. 286
J.K. Rowlings declarations about Snape, immediately after the release of Deathly Hallows, sounded like insult added to injury to many of the fans who looked at him as a reference figure from the end of Order of the Phoenix. In an interview given to Meredith Vieira, for Today Show, a relieved Rowling, much more relaxed after finishing her big fatigue, declared that in no way the people should consider S
Mary-Sue Final: Revelations"Is goodness loved by the gods because it is good, or is it good because it is loved by the gods?" - Socrates to EuthyphroMary-Sue Final: Revelations3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The humongous Succubus Queen Mary-Sue lounged idly as she gorged herself on tortured souls. Trillions of them at a time went down her super-hot gullet. They held no calories, adding only power to her fiery form. She was absolutely massive, and only growing. She was completeness and emptiness, salvation through damnation. Her devastatingly flawless legs now seemed to span hundreds of feet, even in Hell where distance held no meaning. Her despoiling hips, breasts, lips, everything about her was overpoweringly seductive and impressive. Her scent, which was more powerful than all of the aphrodisiacs in reality, filled all of Hell. She was an exaggerated example of pure temptation, an oversexed goddess to whom mortals - men and woman alike - would beg to lose their souls. Nothing could resist her, and anything would giv
GrandfatherLancaster Pennsylvania.Grandfather2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
July 3rd, 1978.
Eighty-two degrees outside.
Driving sixty eight mph down Millersville road
past miles of cornfields
And everything is silent.
Except the faint scream of wind escaping through the cracked driver side window
and the dull thud of tire treading on the newly paved road.
trying to understand,
while trying not to think,
while thinking too much,
while being silent.
And suddenly its
March of 1968
And Calley is calling
“kill them all dead”.
And he sees his daughter,
her Agent Orange colored curls
clinging to her face like napalm sticks to melting bodies;
her eyes burning brighter than Hanoi and Haiphong on December 18th, 1972.
He begins to cry
because its still
July 3rd, 1978,
Five pm, and
eighty-two degrees outside.
But in his mind it will always be March of 1968
or December of 1972,
because for him the war is still being fought;
monks and Morrison still burning;
Saigon is still screaming
like it was on April 30, 1975,
The Pubic HairI found your pubic hair on a tissue under my bed. Shed after 3 hours of love and pleasure. I think, how, as we lay in each other's arms, so happy, so in love, that hair, stuck to its love marked tissue, was brushed aside and tumbled to the floor, un-noticed by us, to find a home by my bed, late to be tucked accidentally beneath it when we rose to gather our clothes and cuddle one more time before we took you home. It must have been there for at least 8 months before I found it. Anything between that and two years. I should clean my room more. When you lost that hair, you loved me.The Pubic Hair9 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
But the hair is just a hair. It has no concept of love, or what its own mere presence under my bed signifies. Well, you don't love me anymore. But I love you. And at least I have that hair. A single curly reminder that it wasn't all a dream..